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What are the signs of love addiction? In my last video, I gave you an overview of what love addiction is and what causes it. Today, we’re talking about the signs of love addiction.

Typical signs of love addiction include:

Outside of a Relationship, You:

  • Feel like you’re in deep emotional pain and almost physically ill – and if you’re also alone, it’s so much worse
  • Are on a mission! You wish for and are always looking a romantic relationship
  • Can’t stand it! You struggle with deep, aching feelings of loneliness and despair
  • May find yourself having meaningless sex as a way to feel not so alone
  • Sometimes might feel like having sex or feeling deep love can actually help make the hard parts of your life a little easier – when these things are actively happening, you find it a lot easier to handle difficult emotions and experiences
  • Sometimes skip important family, career, or social events to search for a romantic or sexual relationship

In a Relationship, You:

  • Fall hard and fast for your partner – you may have even used the term “love at first sight,” and you might have said I love you quickly after getting together
  • Sometimes confuse intense or exciting sexual experiences and the excitement of the infatuation that comes with a new romance with true love
  • Really just want to be close to your partner, so you use sex and seduction to hook them and keep them interested
  • If sex and seduction don’t work, you hate to admit it, but you’re not above manipulation (guilt/shame) to keep your partner around.
  • Feel desperate to please and you worry that your partner isn’t happy with you
  • Participate in activities that don’t interest you or go against your personal values in order to keep or please a partner
  • Give up or push aside important interests, beliefs, or friendships to maximize time in the relationship or to please a romantic partner
  • Find it really hard, and sometimes even impossible, to leave your relationship if it becomes abusive or in any way, even though you know better and you might have even made promises to yourself that you will eventually get out of there.
  • Keep going back to toxic or abusive partners even though you swear you’ll never do it again.
  • Really have a hard time trying to maintain a long-term romantic relationship because when the new, exciting part ends, you get bored or start to unintentionally sabotage the relationship

Your Partner:

  • Is often someone you settled for because you felt it would be better than being alone
  • Is a taker, while you’re usually happy to be a giver
  • May be emotionally inaccessible and/or verbally or physically abusive
  • May be obsessed with you, or alternatively, may not seem to care at all
  • Demands a lot of your attention and requires you to do things to take care of them, but refuses to meet, or even try to meet, your emotional or physical needs
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