Ripple Effects of Narcissism: How Children Are Affected by Your Toxic Relationship

Ripple Effects of Narcissism: How Children Are Affected by Your Toxic Relationship

My greatest joys in life are (hands down) my children. Since the day each was born, my entire focus was making sure they were nurtured and FELT loved and valued. I was determined that they would have the ego I always wanted for myself. Name the activity and they did it. I had a simple plan: I was going to be THE BEST PARENT EVER!!

Enter the narcissist.

By the time I realized what kind of relationship iIwas dealing with, certain unintentional, unwanted behavioral changes began to rear their ugly heads.

In my case, my son (who had more exposure to the narc than my daughters) is definitely more introverted than my daughters. He struggles in the area of self esteem and confidence.

My ex had a bully side to him (shocking right?) and while he would often verbally abuse my son, I always thought I was protecting him  (and thus wiping out any negative impact of his words) by telling the narcissist, “don’t talk to him like that.” But looking back now, I realize that “sticking up” for my son was not a replacement for zero exposure.

My three daughters, on the other hand, are the complete opposite. They’re three very strong, very self aware women who don’t need validation from others.  I’m guessing this may be because they saw the toll this has taken on me and have decided they want better for themselves (thankfully).

For years, I was wracked with guilt over all this. After all, I brought this mess and chaos into their lives.

With the help of therapy and the lifting of the fog, I can now see that, yes they’ve been changed, but he never touched their spirit; he never touched their hearts.  For that I am grateful.  As parents, we do the best we can given our circumstances. Probably one of the hardest parts of parenting that no one tells us is learning to forgive ourselves.

Thankfully, my children forgave me long before I forgave myself. Have you noticed a difference in your children pre or post toxic relationship?

Narcissism Quotes: 20 Quotes to Help You Understand Narcissists Better

Narcissism Quotes: 20 Quotes to Help You Understand Narcissists Better

  1. “I thought narcissism was about self-love till someone told me there is a flip side to it … It is unrequited self-love.” ~ Emily Levine
  2. “Narcissus weeps to find that his Image does not return his love.” ~ Mason Cooley
  3. “You may have been so relentlessly tortured by the gaslighting and other forms of narcissistic manipulation that you have literally lost yourself – you don’t even know where to begin to remember who you once were (or who you could be now). This is almost always true in the case of someone who has served as narcissistic supply for someone they lived with, such as a spouse or parent.” ~Angie Atkinson
  4. Narcissism and self-deception are survival mechanisms without which many of us might just jump off a bridge.” ~ Todd Solondz
  5. “No one has probably helped me more with my narcissism than my dog.” ~ Tucker Max
  6. “Half the harm that is done in this world is due to people who want to feel important. They don’t mean to do harm, but the harm [that they cause] does not interest them. Or they do not see it, or they justify it because they are absorbed in the endless struggle to think well of themselves.” ~ T. S. Eliot
  7. “Narcissism falls along the axis of what psychologists call personality disorders, one of a group that includes antisocial, dependent, histrionic, avoidant and borderline personalities. But by most measures, narcissism is one of the worst, if only because the narcissists themselves are so clueless.” ~Jeffrey Kluger
  8. “I think a lot of self-importance is a product of fear. And fear, living in sort of an un-self-examined fear-based life, tends to lead to narcissism and self-importance.” ~Moby
  9. “Self-awareness is not self-centeredness, and spirituality is not narcissism. ‘Know thyself’ is not a narcissistic pursuit.” ~Marianne Williamson
  10. “For some especially charismatic narcissists, that blind self-faith becomes pretty contagious. That’s because we’re programmed to only detect lies that are blatant – and since most narcissists actually BELIEVE their own bullshit, they can be very convincing. To them, their twisted perceptions have become real – so real, that they seem to be actual truth.” ~Angie Atkinson
  11. “The silent killer of all great men and women of achievement – particularly men, I don’t know why, maybe it’s the testosterone – I think it’s narcissism. Even more than hubris. And for women, too. Narcissism is the killer.” ~James Woods
  12. “Parents are supposed to give the child back to herself with love. If they’ve got duct tape over their eyes because of narcissism, it doesn’t happen.” ~Jane Fonda
  13. “When challenged about harmful behavior, a narcissist struggles to maintain a very inflated self-image. Even though you can see right through them, they need to appear to feel good about themselves. It’s part of their game.” ~Angie Atkinson
  14. “The main condition for the achievement of love is the overcoming of one’s narcissism. The narcissistic orientation is one in which one experiences as real only that which exists within oneself, while the phenomena in the outside world have no reality in themselves, but are experienced only from the viewpoint of their being useful or dangerous to one. The opposite pole to narcissism is objectivity; it is the faculty to see other people and things as they are, objectively, and to be able to separate this objective picture from a picture which is formed by one’s desires and fears.” ~Erich Fromm
  15. “Being in a relationship with a narcissist puts you on a sort of scary rollercoaster ride of emotions. The highest of highs and the lowest of lows might alternate so quickly that you start losing your grip on what you used to call reality. Your ability to reason is called into question so often that instinct kicks in and you go into survival mode.” ~Angie Atkinson
  16. “Stay away from lazy parasites, who perch on you just to satisfy their needs, they do not come to alleviate your burdens, hence, their mission is to distract, detract and extract, and make you live in abject poverty.” ~Michael Bassey Johnson
  17. “Withhold admiration from a narcissist and be disliked. Give it and be treated with indifference.” ~Mason Cooley
  18. “Nobody can be kinder than the narcissist while you react to life in his own terms.” ~Elizabeth Bowen
  19. “This pattern of constant mind games and manipulation leaves you feeling used up, empty and lost. And often, you fall into the narcissistic FOG (fear, obligation and guilt) pattern that many of us have been guilty of – and this leads to you eventually retreating and apologizing and begging for forgiveness yet again.” ~Angie Atkinson
  20. “There is a difference between supporting someone and feeding someone’s narcissism. One is support and the other is not.” ~Fathom
Toxic Narcissism vs. High Self-Esteem

Toxic Narcissism vs. High Self-Esteem

Is narcissism really just self-esteem on steroids? Or is there more to consider? What is the difference between narcissism and self esteem? What are the similarities and how can you tell the difference?

If you’re recovering from codependency, you might be interested in knowing how to spot a narcissist and the psychology behind the similarities and differences in narcissism vs self-esteem – and that’s what I’ll explain in this video.

7 Ways Toxic People Manifest Narcissism: The Spectrum

7 Ways Toxic People Manifest Narcissism: The Spectrum


There is a spectrum of narcissism, ranging from “healthy” narcissism – that looks a lot like self love and also includes empathy – to toxic, personality-disorder level narcissism – that ranges from minorly annoying and all the way out to psychopathic. In this video, I’ll teach you about 7 different places on that spectrum and how the disorder manifests in different types of people.

Covert Narcissism Book: Behind the Mask

Covert Narcissism Book: Behind the Mask

One of the most-often ordered books this month is all about the covert narcissist. Have you read this one? What did you think?

Behind The Mask: An Introduction Into Covert Narcissism is a guide to the extremely damaging personality disorder, Covert Narcissism. 

All of the key character traits are discussed; their jealousy, their manipulation, their insecurity, their rage. This eBook looks at areas such as Gaslighting, Triangulation and Flying Monkies and gives you the tools to help you dissect and discover covert narcissism and covert narcissists. 

Behind The Mask is intended to help you find answers and to help you understand this topic. The chapters are broken down into topics such as ‘How to Spot a Covert Narcissist’, ‘Coping with Narcissistic Abuse’, ‘Loving a Narcissistic’, ‘Are you a Narcissistic?’, ‘Narcissistic Rage’ and much much more. 

The goal of this eBook is to inform the mainstream of this extremely damaging and toxic personality trait that leaves lives, families and people in tatters. 

Learn more: Behind The Mask: An Introduction Into Covert Narcissism

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