Don't get sucked back in by a narcissist this Valentine's Day! Avoid Getting Hoovered on Valentine's Day: Narcissistic Hoovering Video Compilation & Booster Shot
Narcissists are sneaky, but they're human too (as far as we can tell!). And like most people, they tend to think about their exes on Valentine's day - and that often includes making attempts to get back together, even if only for a short time.
This year, I suggest that you avoid getting sucked back in! If you really want to take your life back, you've got to start by holding on to your independence, even when you feel weak.
Since Valentine's day with a narcissist (or without one) can be so painful, it's time to take back this day! This year, watch this compilation video and remind yourself WHY YOU DON"T WANT THAT NARCISSIST BACK!
Learn more at http://queenbeeing.com. Get my books at http://booksangiewrote.com, schedule a coaching appointment and/or pick up your free 5-day fear-busting email course (specially designed for narcissistic abuse survivors) at http://narcissismsupportcoach.com.
Join my new YouTube panel! Join the group on YouTube at https://www.facebook.com/groups/400269186983240/ to be tapped for short video clips with your opinion or thoughts on a question - please only join this group if you're actually willing to submit video clips. People who don't participate at least once per month will be removed.
It’s no fun to be self-conscious. This one of the reasons that drugs and alcohol are so attractive to some people. These substances decrease self-consciousness. Self-consciousness is the result of wanting to control the image other people have of you. Ask yourself why you even care in the first place.
Caring what others think is a natural, default condition. It’s a leftover from your school days. You’ve grown beyond that environment. It’s time to move on.
Embrace boldness and live your life on your own terms:
No one cares. That can be good news or bad news depending on your perspective. As soon as you catch yourself preoccupied with the thoughts and opinions of others, remind yourself that they’re too worried wondering what you’re thinking about them. Give yourself a break and relax. You’re being judged less than you think.
Studies have shown that people pay attention about half as much as you think they do. For example, in one study, college students were asked to wear an embarrassing t-shirt into class and then guess how many of their fellow students noticed the t-shirt. The guesses were approximately two times higher than the actual result.
Failing to act or speak results in more regret than saying or doing something embarrassing. Embarrassing incidents never seem to be as traumatic as predicted. Your ego stings more when you hold back. It becomes harder and harder to forgive yourself each time.
Ask yourself, “So?”. That inner voice will keep you paralyzed if you allow it. Instead, turn the tables and ask “So?”
“If I go to the beach, everyone will see my thighs.” “So?”
Instead of reacting emotionally, use a little logic and override your initial impulse. What’s the worst that can go wrong?
Avoid comparisons between others and yourself. The truth is that we notice the strengths of others and our own weaknesses. We’re not good at noticing our own strengths. We don’t notice the weaknesses of others easily, because they’re so busy avoiding them.
Take note of your strengths and you’ll see just how great you are. Spend your time comparing your weaknesses to someone else’s strengths and you won’t feel good about yourself.
Pretend you’re confident even if you’re not. Confident people act. When you act, and nothing bad happens, you’ll begin to develop real confidence. Keep telling yourself that you’re a confident person.
Adopt confident mannerisms and a confident posture. Speak with authority. It takes time to convince your brain that you’re a confident person, so start right away!
Take part in activities that excite you. It’s easier to be bold when doing something that you really want to do. Learn to be bold in the easiest way possible. If you’ve always wanted to visit Rome, but fear international travel, traveling to Rome will be easier to accomplish than attempting something you fear, but have little interest in.
Try a new style on for size. Change up your wardrobe or hairstyle. Expand your view of yourself. Others will view you differently too. This might make it easier to do and say the things that are on your mind. When you view yourself differently, you give yourself permission to act differently.
Self-consciousness is natural, but it’s uncomfortable and potentially limiting. Take a moment and imagine what your life would be like if you were able to stop caring about the opinions of others. This is a battle that everyone must fight in order to be truly free. Ignore your social anxieties and be your true self.
Beating overwhelm is a necessary part of getting things done. While overwhelm can have a variety of causes, for narcissistic abuse survivors, it can feel like you’re absolutely paralyzed. In most cases, the task that needs to be completed isn’t enjoyable. Or you lack inspiration. Mowing the grass when it’s 90 degrees outside is a good example of both.
Dealing with laziness is an important self-management skill. Getting things done when you don’t feel like doing them is practically a superpower. You’re unstoppable.
Beat laziness and accomplish more each day with the 15 tips I’m sharing in today’s video.
Take frequent, short breaks. Tell yourself that you’ll work for 25 minutes and then take a quick break. Focus with all your might for those 25 minutes, and then relax for five.
Be tough with yourself. Getting started requires the most willpower. Once you’ve gotten started, it’s easy to keep going. Grind your way through the first few minutes and then use the momentum to your advantage.
Stand up straight. Slouching and laziness go together. Stand up tall and straight. You’ll feel better and more motivated.
Monitor your inner dialog. Say positive things about the task at hand. Negative talk will stall your progress.
Stop thinking about it. When you think about doing an undesirable task, you feel uncomfortable. That’s the reason you won’t do it. So, don’t think about it. Keep your mind on something else and get started.
Keep it short and intense. Change your physiology, and your thoughts will change, too.
Use a timer. See how long it takes you to complete the task. Make a game out of it. Another option is to set a timer for five minutes and see if you can perform the task for those five minutes without having even one negative thought. Timers are great for increasing focus.
Get rid of the distractions. Get away from the TV and lock your cell phone in your desk.
Keep your mind on a single task. Ironically, when you have a lot to do, it can be hard to do anything at all. Keep your mind on one task and forget about the rest. When this task is complete, the others will still be there.
Think about how great you’ll feel when you’re done. Thinking about how dreadful the task will be is the best way to ensure that you won’t do it anytime soon.
Be proud of getting your tasks completed. Most of us hate performing a task, and then feel neutral about getting it done. Get excited about completing these annoying tasks. Give yourself a pat on the back when they’re completed.
Start with something easy. When faced with several things you don’t want to do, start with the quickest and easiest. The sense of accomplishment will keep you going.
Make a to-do list.Cross the items off as they’re completed and enjoy the progress you’re making. There’s something satisfying about marking items off a list.
Consider the benefits of the task. Will you get to keep your job? Get a date? Have a freshly manicured lawn? Consider the benefits of the activity. Focus on these benefits and get started before your attention drifts.
Plan a reward at the end of the day. If you get everything completed, do something enjoyable. Meet a friend for dinner or rent a movie.
Laziness is a common dilemma. It occurs when the motivation to do a task is insufficient. There are several causes for this, but the cause isn’t important. Choose a few workable strategies to get you going and put them into action. You’ll be pleasantly surprised at your results.
"If you have been living with a narcissist for a long time, you may feel that you have lost all ability to function as an intelligent human being. By the time I divorced, I no longer felt confident about my looks, my ability to use technology, driving ability, or the reliability of my thoughts and emotions. It’s not an easy thing to come back from but you can do it." ~ First Wives World(more…)
A Step-By-Step Guide to Creating the Life You Want and Deserve After a Toxic Relationship Ends
Have you recently ended a relationship with a narcissist, or are you considering doing so now? Or maybe you're the one who's been left in the lurch after yet another gaslighting episode that led to the devalue and discard phase.
In any case, whether you're already gone or you're planning to leave, you won't need to wait until your relationship with a narcissistic abuser has ended to begin working on your abuse recovery.
The Rest is Still Unwritten is the ultimate guide to help you stop just existing and start really living - and it offers you an entire plan to literally choose the rest of your life.
Narcissistic abuse is sneaky - it's invisible as far as most people can tell. And yet, it's one of the most toxic, damaging kinds of abuse you can suffer - partially because it makes you feel so utterly alone - even if you're in a crowded room.
The abuse you suffered at the hands of a narcissist cannot be downplayed: it's among the most traumatic kind of toxic treatment you can receive.
But there's good news! You aren't really alone, and there IS hope for you - you can find happiness, peace and true success in every area of your life, even after you've been relentlessly abused by a toxic narcissist.
There is a bright, beautiful and peaceful light on the other side.
This book will serve as a starting point for you as you begin your own recovery from narcissistic abuse in your toxic relationship. Whether the abuse was mental or emotional, or both, you have been left with profound scars that might feel like they'll never heal.
But with time, you'll get there - and this life-changing book, written by a fellow narcissistic abuse survivor and certified life coach, will help you do it.