How do you deal with living with someone who is giving you the silent treatment? Someone who will co-exist with you in the same house while literally ignoring you? That is what I'm covering in today's video.
Have you ever had to deal with the narcissist's silent treatment? What did you do to cope? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments section. Let's discuss.
Get my book, "Gaslighting, Love Bombing and Flying Monkeys: The Ultimate Toxic Relationship Survival Guide for Victims and Survivors of Narcissistic Abuse" free through Monday, right here: http://amzn.to/2tS5osp
Between work, home, and social responsibilities, life can be SO hectic! And going through narcissistic abuse recovery, do you often feel that all your time is spent taking care of others? Neglecting self-care is easy in a busy world, but the consequences can be serious. Adding self-care practices to your daily routine can greatly strengthen your health and well-being.
Plus, experts share that the happiest and most successful people regularly focus on self-care!
Try these simple self-care strategies today:
1. Block out time for self-care in your schedule. It's not enough to occasionally stop your busy lifestyle and take a walk or indulge in a hot bath. Self-care is an ongoing process. Just as you reserve time in your schedule for other appointments, set aside time to take care of yourself, too. It's important to adopt self-care habits that you can enjoy on a regular basis. They'll help you avoid burnout, increase your productivity, and allow you to enjoy life.
2. Enjoy your favorite hobby. Whether you love to experiment with new recipes in the kitchen or paint pictures of sunsets, your favorite hobbies can be part of self-care. Hobbies and activities that you already enjoy are easy to select and put into practice. You just have to find room in your schedule to do them. This is an important step and shows your commitment to self-care.
3. Make note of the compliments you receive. You can enjoy this self-care practice even as you work or run errands! Start taking notes of the compliments you receive. You can keep them in a journal, diary, or online folder. Your compliment folder can also include emails, notes, thank you cards, and other things that make you smile. This self-care practice can help you fight negative thoughts. Compliments can serve as reminders that you matter, your existence is important, and someone appreciates you.
4. Remove clutter. Whether you decide to declutter your closet or clean out the fridge, removing clutter will uplift you. Clutter can drain you physically and mentally. It can also make you unhappy as you try to move through your day. Eliminate the things that no longer serve you. For example, if you're keeping clothes in your closet that you hate each time you open the door, replace them with clothes that you love.
5. Do one selfish act. Living selfishly all day isn't recommended, but doing one selfish act that makes you happy can do wonders. You can enjoy just that one thing without feeling guilty about it! If you struggle with self-care, it's often because you spend all of your energy and time taking care of others. There's nothing left in your well for yourself. By taking the time to do one selfish act, such as reading your favorite book or ignoring a boring phone call, you'll be restoring your own importance.
Self-care often takes a backseat to work, family, and other obligations. However, without stopping to take care of your mind and body, you're at risk of burning out and suffering from serious health issues. Start making time for your self-care practices today!
Are you in a relationship with someone who makes you feel crazy and "not good enough" all the time?
Do you find yourself constantly shocked at the outrageously disrespectful behavior and excessive bullying of a friend, family member or co-worker?
Narcissists and people with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) make you feel worthless and numb, and they leave you wondering if you're even a real person sometimes.
Being involved with a narcissist can be a crazy roller-coaster ride of emotions - from the highest of the highs to the lowest of the lows.
That's because their gaslighting and manipulation tactics are so well-honed and laser-targeted that you often don’t even realize that you’ve become codependent and enmeshed in a toxic relationship until it’s too late.
You're NOT ALONE. I know because I've been there.
The pain of being in a narcissistic relationship is something that you don't get unless you’ve been there, and that’s where I'm uniquely qualified to help you.
See, I'm also a survivor of narcissistic relationships - that's what led me to you today.
That’s what offers me the unique ability to understand, and to offer insight and actionable steps to overcome the horrific emotional abuse and toxic mind games of a narcissist. It's what helps me relate to to my clients and readers so effectively.
You are more powerful than you think. Let me teach you how to stand up for yourself.
Knowledge is power. Admitting the issue is the first step. Next, you'll learn to understand, identify and overcome the behaviors of the narcissist.
That's when you'll - and begin to heal - whether that means inside the relationship or by ending it.
So no more putting band-aids on this problem, alright? Stick with me and we will get this figured out together.
Plus: The Ultimate Resource List for Victims and Survivors of Narcissism
Just like a baby sucks her thumb, as an adult you'll want to comfort yourself when things go wrong - and nothing rings truer for victims of narcissistic abuse.
Unfortunately, some habits like drinking, smoking, overeating, or shopping come with a high price tag. When you use them to escape from difficult issues, you postpone finding real solutions, and you may wind up with additional complications like poor health and less money.
On the other hand, making constructive choices can help you face challenges and build your self-confidence. Follow these steps for dealing with tensions and irritations.
How to Soothe Yourself by Changing Your Thinking
1. Accept your feelings. Embracing uncomfortable emotions is the first step in being able to process them. Instead of denying anger or jealousy, you can acknowledge the situation and decide how to address it.
2. Cultivate gratitude. Being grateful instantly brightens your outlook. Count your blessings and express your appreciation.
3. Slow down. Bring racing thoughts under control. Even a few minutes of meditation can clear away mental clutter.
4. Be mindful. Stay in the present moment. Give your full attention to one task at a time. You'll accomplish more.
5. Accentuate the positive. When you evaluate opportunities, pay attention to the potential gains as well as the risks. Adjust your self-talk to reinforce your confidence and motivate you to move ahead.
6. Use mental imagery. Picture yourself lying on a sandy beach or sipping tea in a cozy cafe. Engage your other senses by imagining the related sounds and smells.
7. Follow your faith. Find strength in your spiritual beliefs and practices. Adversity can help you develop insights and remember your purpose.
How to Soothe Yourself by Changing Your Routines
1. Develop a hobby. Activities that create a sense of flow are more relaxing and productive than watching TV. Find pleasure in playing the piano or building a log cabin.
2. Exercise regularly. Moving around reduces physical and mental symptoms of stress. Go for a long walk or play tennis with a friend.
3. Check your posture. Scan your body for tight spots. Stretch out your neck and limbs. Squeeze your muscles together, and then open up to release any anxiety that has been building up. Stand tall, lower your shoulders, and open your chest.
4. Eat more probiotics. Eating a balanced diet makes you more resilient, especially if you put yogurt and miso on the menu. Studies show that foods that promote healthy gut bacteria have a positive effect on your mood.
5. Sleep well. Rest is also essential for your composure. Go to bed and wake up on a consistent schedule. Darken your bedroom and block out background noises with a fan or ear plugs.
6. Connect with others. Build a strong support network. Spend time with family and friends. Make time for sharing laughter and heart-to-heart talks. Ask for help when you're struggling, and take your mind off your own worries by looking for ways to serve others.
8. Breathe deeply. Using your breath to lower stress is fast and free, and you can do it anywhere. Create a slow, gentle rhythm as you pay attention to the air entering and exiting your nostrils. Gradually extend the time you spend exhaling to carry any disturbing thoughts out of your brain.
Stress is a part of life, but you can protect your health and well-being by the way you respond when things are falling apart. Soothe yourself with calming thoughts and activities that restore your balance and deepen your peace of mind.
You're probably also well-conditioned to avoid disappointing the narcissist and are actively making sure to give the narcissist whatever he or she wants, right?
In this video, I'm answering the question: how will a narcissist react when they don't get what they want? What does a narcissist do when you disappoint them and why do narcissists react differently than "normal" people when it comes to dealing with unexpected problems and challenges in their lives?
Join me in the brand-new 30-Day TOO BLESSED TO BE STRESSED Challenge!
When you join the challenge, you'll get a daily dose of inner-peace-packed content from Angie Atkinson, certified life coach and narcissistic abuse recovery expert.
That means that over the course of the coming month, you’ll be learning new things and new ways to handle relaxing and reducing stress.
In addition to the abuse you've suffered, you're dealing with the hot mess that our society likes to call a "life" - and boy, life is really overwhelming these days, right?
The fact is that we live in such a busy world where we’re always reachable, constantly bombarded with news updates, email alerts, and of course advertisements. Social media puts us under a lot of pressure to document the perfect life, and in between all that we’re juggling family and career, while paying off student debt and a large mortgage.
It's really no wonder we’re more stressed than ever and stress related illnesses are on the rise.
It’s high time to relax more and take a more active approach to stress reduction - and you MUST do it before it kills you, my friend.
I invite you to do just that right along with me over the course of the next 30 days. Each day I’ll have a new tip or idea to share with you on the topic.
Each day, we’re faced with the choice to create peace or create stress. This can be a challenging task on a good day. On a bad day, it feels impossible. The constant ups and downs in life are a given. They’re largely uncontrollable. But you can control your response to them. You can learn to feel peaceful in challenging times.
Find the peace you need to thrive after narcissistic abuse:
Give yourself the advice you would give a friend. It’s difficult to make decisions when you’re emotionally compromised. But the path forward is more obvious to you if someone else is struggling. Imagine that your friend has the same challenge you’re facing. What advice would you give them?
Ask yourself what you’re learning from this experience. Are you learning the importance of saving your money? Are you learning not to overextend yourself? Are you learning how to deal with the death of a loved one?
Every hardship provides a lesson. Determine what you can learn from the experience.
Write in a journal. Let your emotions flow out onto paper. There’s something cathartic about writing. It feels like the emotion is leaving your body and taking residence in a new location.
After unloading your negative emotions, use your journal to make a list of possible solutions to your dilemma. What resources do you have available? Whom can you contact for help or support?
What are you afraid of? If you’re feeling out of sorts, you’re afraid of something. What is it? Defining your fear will make it a little less scary. Ask yourself what is the worst thing likely to happen.
Practice mindfulness. We make our challenges more challenging by continuously churning through them. You think about your issue while you’re in the shower, driving to work, eating lunch, talking with friends, or watching TV. You never get a break.
Mindfulness is simply paying attention to your environment and the task at hand. If you’re eating dinner, your mind should be on eating, not thinking about your difficulties. It’s challenging to control your thoughts, but the peace you experience can’t be beat.
Tame your mind first. It’s a common mistake. You focus on solving your challenge first. Then you believe you’ll feel better. This is logical, but slow and challenging. Get your mind under control, and then your problem is easier to solve. You’ll also feel better more quickly. Quiet your mental noise first and then search for solutions.
Remember all of your previous issues that turned out okay. Think about the challenges you’ve faced in the past. You survived and moved on. You’ll get over this, too. Believe that everything will work out for the best.
What was the worst thing that happened to you during your elementary school years?
Look for the helpers. Whether there’s a fire, an earthquake, or a homeless family, there’s always someone helping. There are people available to help you, too. Look for the helpers and you’ll find them.
Feeling stressed is a typical response when life takes an unexpected turn. Our responses to hardship are habitual. Habits can be altered or broken. New habits can be created. Avoid the belief that your negative feelings are happening to you like bad weather. You can choose your focus and manage your thoughts. Find peace first and then solve your challenge.