If you're dealing with recovery from narcissistic abuse or you're struggling to leave a narcissist, chances are you're not really into taking chances. You may have developed a feeling of being "stuck" and unable to make a change. But one of the best ways to make positive changes to your life is to take more risks. Life is more exciting and rewarding when you’re willing to put yourself out there and take a few chances. Plus, successful people take more risks than unsuccessful people.
With a little practice, you’ll find that taking a chance or two adds immeasurably to your life.
Consider these benefits of taking a chance and reap the power it gives you:
Taking chances enables you to move beyond your comfort zone. Nothing ever changes if you don’t do something new. It’s not easy to force yourself to do something that makes you feel uncomfortable, but it’s necessary if you want to experience growth in your life. Imagine the new adventures you can have! Taking chances gives you power over yourself. Most people are risk-averse. It’s not in our genetic makeup to take chances. We’re like an antelope hiding in the tall grass, afraid to run out in the open for fear of being eaten by a lion. But there is tremendous power in taking chances.
When you can make yourself do things you don’t want to do, you realize that you’re conquering yourself.
This power extends to other areas of your life. You’ll find that you’ll do a better job of taking care of the mundane, but necessary, tasks in life. Taking action in the face of discomfort has a powerful impact on your life.
Taking chances gives you greater power over your life. You can take control of your life by taking steps to build the life that you desire. This gives you greater control. You can determine how you want to move forward, how you can overcome obstacles, and then do it.
Think of the people that never take chances. They’re much more susceptible to the randomness of life. External conditions have a greater effect. By taking a chance, you can avoid all this.
Taking chances reduces feelings of regret. More people regret the things they didn’t do than the things they did. Not taking chances in life leads to regret in your later years. You don’t want to be one of those people that looks back on his life and wonders, “What if?” Your life is more exciting when you take chances. One of the most frequent complaints of adults is boredom. Do you live the same day over and over? The time flies by because there’s nothing to differentiate one day from the next. There are no victories or defeats, just the dullness that comes from monotony.
Add some spice to your life and have a reason to get up in the morning. Take a chance or two.
You’ll develop greater self-confidence and self-esteem. When you have control over yourself and your life, you feel pretty good about yourself. These qualities influence all the other parts of your life, too. You have more opportunities. Taking chances exposes you to even greater opportunities. When you’re willing to act boldly, life seems to meet you halfway. It can be a great boost to the amount of success you experience in life.
Taking chances can be scary, but ask yourself what you have to lose. Whether it’s approaching someone attractive or sending your resume to your dream company, what do you have to lose? Most risks have little potential for real loss. The threat is inside your head.
For your best results, start slowly. Decide to take one small risk each day for a month and measure the effect it has on your life. Then you can move up to taking bigger chances as your tolerance for discomfort improves.
Discover the power of taking a chance. Start today! You’ll be glad you did!
Psychologists call it atychiphobia, but you may know it better as fear of failure. Whatever you call it, those misgivings can hold you back in your career and personal life. You may miss out on promising opportunities or unintentionally sabotage yourself to prove that your gloomy outlook is correct.
What else stops you from living up to your potential and going after what you really want?
Try this foolproof formula that will help you to understand and overcome your self-doubts.
Learning from Experience:
Welcome growth. Victories and setbacks can both make you stronger depending on how you respond to them. When things don’t turn out the way you planned, figure out what you need to do differently next time.
Develop contingency plans. You’ll feel more confident taking risks if you analyze the possible outcomes in advance. That way, you can be prepared to switch your approach if needed.
Start off small. If you’re paralyzed by doubts, break your projects down into more manageable steps. Ease into home improvement by organizing your hall closet before you try remodeling your kitchen.
Hold yourself accountable. Acknowledging your mistakes is the first step in being able to learn from them. Take responsibility for your actions and choices.
Identify factors within your control. Target areas where you’ll enjoy the most payoff. You may not be able to do much about the way your boss micromanages you, but you can change your own communication strategies.
Think positive. Remind yourself of what you have to gain. Give yourself credit for venturing beyond your comfort zone.
Change your self-talk. Pay attention to the way you talk to yourself. Are you reinforcing your doubts or giving yourself encouraging and affirmative messages? Choose words that inspire and reassure you.
Reach out to others. Let others know that you welcome constructive feedback. Thank them for their input and tell them when their advice helps you to perform more effectively.
Explore root causes. It may help to know where your fear of failure came from so you can spot your triggers. Maybe you became reluctant to try new things after your parents or an elementary school teacher criticized you harshly. Maybe you’re feeling shaky after a recent divorce or layoff.
Act promptly. Procrastination is one common symptom of fear of failure. If you put things off because you feel anxious, start writing out timelines that will help you buckle down and stay on track.
Focus on progress. Perfectionism can also be an obstacle. Instead of trying to be flawless, take satisfaction in setting challenging goals and making an effort to achieve them. Compete with yourself instead of trying to meet unattainable standards.
Calculate costs. While you’re contemplating what could go wrong if you speak up at meetings or ask someone out for a date, you may be overlooking the price of inaction. Imagine what you could be missing out on each time you hesitate.
Visualize success. Picture what your life would be like if you had the confidence to pursue your dreams. The images you bring to mind may help you to clarify your priorities and understand where to channel your efforts.
Lighten up. Your mistakes may be a great source of entertainment if you can love and accept yourself as you are. Humor helps to put fears in perspective.
Enjoy more happiness and success by coming to terms with your fear of failure. When you commit yourself to learning from experience, you may still feel unsure of yourself sometimes. However, you’ll stop letting your doubts get in the way of pursuing your goals.
Is there ever a good reason to stay with a narcissist? Is healing even possible during the invalidation and difficulties that come with a narcissist in a relationship? Can you heal while staying with a narcissist? Angie Atkinson and Kim Saeed from Let Me Reach offer their thoughts on whether or not it's possible to heal while staying with a narcissist - PLUS: the hard truth about how a narcissistic relationship will affect your kids and what Kim says you can do to get out.
One surprisingly easy way to deal with gaslighting? Start a journal. Yes! Just put pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard) and let it all out. If a problem is plaguing you, sometimes just getting it out of your head and on paper is enough to allow you to understand it and move forward. If the problem you have is with another person, you can even write that person a letter expressing yourself--even if you never mail it, the therapeutic benefits are tremendous. For me, journaling and letter writing have long been my go-to tool for getting inside my head and figuring out how to handle the world effectively. I call it free therapy.
Have you ever been told that you’re too hard on yourself? What about toward others? No one appreciates negative criticism, even if you believe you’re being helpful. Believe it or not, your inner self doesn’t appreciate it when you criticize yourself, either.
Luckily, you can learn to have a more positive attitude toward yourself and others, and it isn’t as hard as you might think. With a simple action here and altering a habit there, you’ll soon find your outlook changing.
Try these strategies:
Give compliments. When you feel compelled to criticize or judge someone, use your willpower to say something nice instead.
You could even keep your compliment to yourself and simply think it. However, you’ll be surprised how much your relationships improve if you’re willing to speak your kindness aloud.
Think about your positive attributes for a few minutes each day. Catch yourself when you start to speak negatively to yourself. Say something positive instead.
Consider the difference between giving advice and being critical. Advice is helpful and has a positive intention. Criticism has a negative intent and isn’t helpful.
Think carefully - what are your true intentions? What are you honestly trying to accomplish?
Do you criticize yourself? Why? Imagine someone you cared about was in the same situation. What advice would you give them?
Start your day with a positive attitude. By getting your day off to a positive start, you’ll be less likely to be critical of yourself or others.
Consider what makes you feel Is it music? Reading inspirational quotes? Remembering your favorite vacation? Making a list of things that fill you with gratitude?
Start your day with positive thoughts and energy. Carry that feeling for as long as you can each day.
Spend more time thinking about what you want, rather than what you don’t want. Thinking about what you don’t want is addressing life from a negative perspective. Keep your thoughts focused on what you do want. Your mood will be lighter and you’ll treat yourself and others more kindly too.
Allow situations and people to be as they are. One of the easiest ways to make yourself unhappy is to believe that everything is supposed to be a certain way. You might believe that others should thank you for a compliment or offer you their seat on the bus, but they might not feel that way.
In reality, everyone views the world differently, and your views aren’t any more correct than anyone else’s. If you think that everyone else should automatically see things through your perspective, you’re likely to be critical and miserable.
Understand the situation. Ensure that you have a complete and accurate understanding before jumping to conclusions. The most critical people in the world are often operating with insufficient information. Before you say something negative, make an effort to get the whole story.
Perhaps the most important issue is self-esteem. Those that are critical of others often do so to make themselves feel more important, superior, or dominant.
It’s also possible you’re using criticism as a way of preventing others from getting too close to you.
Consider why you’re critical of others and yourself. The solution becomes more apparent if you correctly identify the cause.
If you have a tendency to be critical, you can enjoy your life more by making a positive change. Learn to be kind and patient. It just takes practice. Be kind to everyone you meet. Be kind and patient with yourself, too.
Before you know it, this behavior will become a habit and you’ll discover that you’ve acquired a new, positive outlook regarding yourself, others, and life itself.