22 Things Narcissists Say and What They Really Mean

22 Things Narcissists Say and What They Really Mean


Today, we’re talking about narcissistic injury and translating the Injured Narcissist with 22 things narcissists say (and what they really mean!)

NPD and anger management SHOULD go hand in hand, but rarely do they. When narcissistic rage comes out, very often, narcissistic injury is quick to follow. Whether you’re going through a divorce with a narcissist or trying to go no contact with a toxic family member, this video will help you understand better what they’re REALLY saying.

22 Things the Injured Narcissist Says And What They Really Mean

  1. “You’re crazy. It’s all in your head. You need to see a psychologist.”
    Translation: I need you to doubt yourself, your perception and your reality so that I can more effectively manipulate you and make you do what I want.
  2. “I never said that; you heard wrong. You misunderstood me. That never happened.”
    Translation: I will change your reality at any given moment, and you better go along with it, or you’re in big trouble.
  3. “I don’t understand. What you are saying makes absolutely no sense. I don’t know what you are talking about.”
    Translation: I am pretending that I don’t understand you so that I don’t have to respond to you in a logical fashion.
  4. “That’s not what I meant. I’m sorry that’s how you feel.”
    Translation: I’m pretending that I care or that I’m sorry by using words to invalidate you ever so subtly.”
  5. “I can’t remember what happened.”
    Translation: I am perfectly aware of what happened, but if I pretend to forget, I hope you’ll forget too.
  6. “Stop attacking me. Why are you always attacking me?”
    Translation: Stop holding me accountable for my actions. Why are you always holding me accountable for stuff I do?
  7. “I didn’t hurt you; you hurt yourself. Well, maybe you deserved it.”
    Translation: I so lack empathy for you that I literally believe that your effort to stand up for yourself (or whatever caused it) forced me to abuse you in some way. I think you deserved it because you didn’t do what I wanted you to do.
  8. “I do not like talking about my past.”
    Translation: I have carefully crafted the image I am showing you and/or the world right now, and if I talk about my past, this image will be proven false. I can’t keep up my false self if I talk about who I used to be.
  9. “That’s in the past. 15 minutes ago IS the past! Why can’t we just forget the past?”
    Translation: I don’t understand why you don’t just get over the fact that I am actively abusing you. It’s been 15 minutes since it last happened. How come you’re not all happy-go-lucky yet? Why do you always want me to be accountable for what I’ve done?
  10. “Why do you keep talking about (whatever you’re interested in)? This is boring! Don’t you have anything else to say? Like, about something interesting? Like, ME?”
    Translation: I don’t care about whatever you’re talking about and even if I did, I’m going to pretend you’re boring and stupid so that you feel invalidated. When is the conversation going to get back to being about ME?
  11. “There is something wrong with the way you think. You are delusional.”
    Translation: I do not like it when you call me out on my BS. You are too aware of this stuff – I need you to start doubting your judgment and fast!
  12. “How dare you accuse me of lying! I’ve always told you the truth. I never lie.”
    Translation: I have always told you whatever I wanted you to believe, regardless of whether or not it’s actually the truth. And if you question me on that, you’ll be in big trouble!
  13. “I can’t help it that I’m like that. I just need someone to love me for me. Take it or leave it.”
    Translation: I am aware that I’m a total douche. But I’m going to need you to overlook that obvious fact and go ahead and act like I’m the most amazing person you’ve EVER met. MMmmkay?
  14. “You never loved me.”
    Translation: I never loved you. Or I’m bored and I forgot that I once had feelings for you. But either way, I’m going to blame it all on you and act injured because I’ve suddenly discovered that I’m over this whole “me and you” thing.
  15. “If you loved me, you would understand.”
    Translation: I’m going to try and make you feel guilty for expecting me to take responsibility or tell the truth about what happened. I figure if I can use your love against you, you’ll feel too bad to actually force me to explain myself or take responsibility for what I’ve done wrong.
  16. “You are never happy.”
    Translation: Why can’t you just accept all of my abuse and like it already?
  17. “You are twisting my words. You are putting words in my mouth because I never said that.”
    Translation: I twist your words all the time, so I know that tactic. And yeah, I totally said that but I don’t want to admit it, so I’m going to deny it and feel offended and hurt. This way, you’ll end up apologizing to ME.
  18. “You are never there for me.”
    Translation: I am never there for you. But you damn well better be there for me, at my beck and call, without question or error. Or else!
  19. “Every partner I have been with has been crazy – but you are the worst.”
    Translation: I have driven every partner I’ve had to the edge of sanity, and sure, I’ve said this exact same line to every single one of y’all, but since you’re the one standing in front of me now, you’re the one I’m naturally going to accuse of being crazy. I’m obviously attempting to distract you from the actual issue here, and clearly trying to reinforce all the gaslighting I’ve done up til now. Are you doubting your own sanity yet? Well, are ya?
  20. “I can’t handle this.”
    Translation: I don’t want to deal with this right now, so I’m playing a little narcissistic injury on you. Poor, emotionally devastated me. How dare you ask me to be responsible for what I’ve done?
  21. “I am innocent. I’ve done nothing wrong. I had no idea this would hurt you.”
    Translation: I am guilty. I did what you are accusing me of doing. I totally knew it would hurt you, but I did it anyway because the truth is that I have NO empathy for you. I only want you to stop reminding me and believe the straight-up lies I’m shouting at you. I’m pretending to feel hurt to get you off my back.
  22. “I hate drama. You create a world of drama around everything.”
    Translation: Drama is my very favorite thing, and it’s a HUGE form of narcissistic supply for me. I create drama around everything, and you play into it. That makes me SO happy because then I can blame YOU for all the drama in my life. Drama is SO fun. You’re seriously one of my favorite forms of narcissistic supply. Drama!! Yes.

 

Is there any way to be happy with a narcissist?

Is there any way to be happy with a narcissist?

Can you stay with a narcissist and make it work? Is it possible? Can narcissists change? Is NPD curable? Can you fix codependency and have a healthy relationship? Is it even possible?

Also featuring commentary by Richard Grannon of Spartan Life Coach and Dana Morningstar from Thrive After Abuse.

Discover. Understand. Overcome. It’s how smart people change their lives!

10 Things Narcissists Say When Gaslighting You

10 Things Narcissists Say When Gaslighting You

Things Narcissists Say To Make You Feel Crazy: Crazy-Making & Gaslighting Examples – Here are ten things narcissists say when they’re gaslighting you – and what they really mean, translated into “human English.”

Narcissists are never easy to deal with, but when you’re dealing with gaslighting, things get more complicated, don’t they?  Before we dig in, a quick definition of gaslighting.

Gaslighting is a sneaky way that narcissists manipulate us in order to gain control over us. For the record: it is a form of emotional abuse.

It causes us to question our judgment of even the tiniest things, the things we see in front of our own eyes and allows the narcissist to control us by making us dependent on their beliefs or their perception because we stopped trusting our own.

  1. “Why are you being so difficult?” means “Why are you not doing what I want you to do?”
  2. “You are abusive to me.” means “I feel that you are challenging my sense of Superiority and I want to guilt you into doing what I want so I will stop saying you’re abusive.”
  3. “How could you be mad at my rude comment? It sucks – you used to think I was funny” means “How dare you not laugh at the jokes I make at your expense? Don’t you know better? You didn’t give me the reaction I wanted and it’s your fault.”
  4. “You keep screwing up! This is outrageous! How many chances do you expect me to give you before I ghost?” means “I want you to do what I say, but you keep doing something else. I need you to feel afraid that you’ll be alone so you’ll start doing what I want.”
  5. “I really thought you would be the last guy/girl I would ever be with ” means “I’m already cheating on you, or considering it.”
  6. “Everyone thinks I’m amazing – why don’t you?” means “Can’t you just pretend you haven’t seen behind my mask?”
  7. “Look, I know what you think, but we just need to be on the same page.” means “Look, I don’t care what you think, and you need to think whatever I think instead.”
  8. “You make it impossible to talk to you” means “You just refuse to believe my lies, and I seriously hate that!”
  9. “You really think I did that? I’m shocked you think I’d do such a thing” means “How dare you see through the smoke and mirrors and see me for what and who I really am? Don’t you know I’m amazing and perfect?”
  10. “Oh my god, see, this is why we can’t talk! You’re always YELLING at me! Don’t you see that you’re the problem here?” means “I have twisted your words and thoughts until you get frustrated and yell at me. And my feelings are hurt that you expect me to take responsibility for my own behavior. This is really all your fault.”
Narcissistic Abuse Syndrome: 37 Things to Know – Complex PTSD

Narcissistic Abuse Syndrome: 37 Things to Know – Complex PTSD


Narcissistic Abuse Syndrome: 37 Things to Know About Complex PSTD (Narcissistic Victim Syndrome) –

Also known as C-PTSD or narcissistic victim syndrome, narcissistic abuse syndrome is a psychological disorder that can develop in response to the prolonged, repeated experience of interpersonal trauma in a context in which the individual has little or no chance of escape. Yes, we are talking about being in a relationship with a narcissist.

In this video, I’ll explain what narcissistic abuse syndrome means, fill you in on the signs and symptoms of narcissistic abuse syndrome and also explain how to recover from narcissistic abuse syndrome (sometimes also called post-narcissistic abuse syndrome). In addition to identity erosion and losing the self, understanding what happens after narcissistic abuse and how to perceive it in a whole new way can really be the first step toward healing CPTSD or complex PTSD. If you are a victim of narcissistic abuse syndrome, this comprehensive healing video is for you.

Identifying a Narcissist vs a Traumatized Person Who Can Still Heal

Identifying a Narcissist vs a Traumatized Person Who Can Still Heal


Identifying a Narcissist vs a Traumatized Person Who Can Still Heal – How do you tell the difference between a narcissist and someone who has experienced trauma or is immature, but could still be healed? This question came from a SPANily member, and I’ll be answering it in detail in this video. Plus: the one quality ALL narcissists lack and seven ways narcissistic personality disorder can manifest (the narcissistic spectrum).

Divorce, family conflict or other toxic people might cause you to go no contact. Whether you’re dealing with narcissistic men or narcissistic women, you come out the other side feeling like a shadow of your formal self. It’s my mission to help you overcome that and start creating the life you want and deserve.

This is how you spot a narcissist.

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