Join me in the brand-new 30-Day TOO BLESSED TO BE STRESSED Challenge!
When you join the challenge, you'll get a daily dose of inner-peace-packed content from Angie Atkinson, certified life coach and narcissistic abuse recovery expert.
That means that over the course of the coming month, you’ll be learning new things and new ways to handle relaxing and reducing stress.
In addition to the abuse you've suffered, you're dealing with the hot mess that our society likes to call a "life" - and boy, life is really overwhelming these days, right?
The fact is that we live in such a busy world where we’re always reachable, constantly bombarded with news updates, email alerts, and of course advertisements. Social media puts us under a lot of pressure to document the perfect life, and in between all that we’re juggling family and career, while paying off student debt and a large mortgage.
It's really no wonder we’re more stressed than ever and stress related illnesses are on the rise.
It’s high time to relax more and take a more active approach to stress reduction - and you MUST do it before it kills you, my friend.
I invite you to do just that right along with me over the course of the next 30 days. Each day I’ll have a new tip or idea to share with you on the topic.
Each day, we’re faced with the choice to create peace or create stress. This can be a challenging task on a good day. On a bad day, it feels impossible. The constant ups and downs in life are a given. They’re largely uncontrollable. But you can control your response to them. You can learn to feel peaceful in challenging times.
Find the peace you need to thrive after narcissistic abuse:
Give yourself the advice you would give a friend. It’s difficult to make decisions when you’re emotionally compromised. But the path forward is more obvious to you if someone else is struggling. Imagine that your friend has the same challenge you’re facing. What advice would you give them?
Ask yourself what you’re learning from this experience. Are you learning the importance of saving your money? Are you learning not to overextend yourself? Are you learning how to deal with the death of a loved one?
Every hardship provides a lesson. Determine what you can learn from the experience.
Write in a journal. Let your emotions flow out onto paper. There’s something cathartic about writing. It feels like the emotion is leaving your body and taking residence in a new location.
After unloading your negative emotions, use your journal to make a list of possible solutions to your dilemma. What resources do you have available? Whom can you contact for help or support?
What are you afraid of? If you’re feeling out of sorts, you’re afraid of something. What is it? Defining your fear will make it a little less scary. Ask yourself what is the worst thing likely to happen.
Practice mindfulness. We make our challenges more challenging by continuously churning through them. You think about your issue while you’re in the shower, driving to work, eating lunch, talking with friends, or watching TV. You never get a break.
Mindfulness is simply paying attention to your environment and the task at hand. If you’re eating dinner, your mind should be on eating, not thinking about your difficulties. It’s challenging to control your thoughts, but the peace you experience can’t be beat.
Tame your mind first. It’s a common mistake. You focus on solving your challenge first. Then you believe you’ll feel better. This is logical, but slow and challenging. Get your mind under control, and then your problem is easier to solve. You’ll also feel better more quickly. Quiet your mental noise first and then search for solutions.
Remember all of your previous issues that turned out okay. Think about the challenges you’ve faced in the past. You survived and moved on. You’ll get over this, too. Believe that everything will work out for the best.
What was the worst thing that happened to you during your elementary school years?
Look for the helpers. Whether there’s a fire, an earthquake, or a homeless family, there’s always someone helping. There are people available to help you, too. Look for the helpers and you’ll find them.
Feeling stressed is a typical response when life takes an unexpected turn. Our responses to hardship are habitual. Habits can be altered or broken. New habits can be created. Avoid the belief that your negative feelings are happening to you like bad weather. You can choose your focus and manage your thoughts. Find peace first and then solve your challenge.
Are you dealing with a covert narcissist, also known as a vulnerable narcissist? Are you at your wit's end and you don't know how to handle this very toxic personality type?
In case you're not sure what a vulnerable narcissist is, let's define one really quickly - they are a bit harder to detect than your standard, more overt narcissist.
The Vulnerable Narcissist, Defined.
The shy or covert narcissist is affected by what is referred to as "vulnerable narcissism," which might be on the narcissism personality disorder (NPD) spectrum (a cluster B disorder, according to the DSM).
This type of narcissism is characterized by vulnerability and sensitivity, two characteristics that manifest with defensiveness and hostility.
Just like the standard, more covert type of narcissist, the vulnerable or covert has his or her share of grandiose fantasies, feels a pretty major sense of entitlement, and is quite exploitative of the people in his or her life.
So what's different about the vulnerable narcissist? For one, his or her personality is characterized differently. The covert narcissist is plagued by constant worry, ineffective functioning, unfulfilled expectations (which lead to abuse of the narc's sources of narcissistic supply - also known as the people in his or her life) and extreme vulnerability to stress.
Overcoming emotional numbness and dissociation after narcissistic abuse with mindfulness meditation and practices
When you're working on healing from trauma bonding with someone with NPD, there are a lot of forces at work against you sometimes - often, your own mind after all of the narcissistic abuse you experienced in a toxic relationship.
You may feel emotionally numb and devastated, and you don't even know how to FEEL anything anymore - the solution to this is mindfulness, and that's what this video covers.
The way that you conduct yourself in your personal and professional life begins with how you use your mind. You can teach your mind to accept yourself and gain empowerment - or you can stay stuck in self-defeating behaviors.
You are what you think. When you want to introduce change into your life, you need to first accept and empower yourself before you begin altering anything. Your mind is the greatest tool that you have for living the best possible life that you can live.
Countless studies have shown that the brain is constantly working. Your brain can be wired to think or cause you to act in a certain way based on how you handle your mind’s ability to tap into your subconscious mind.
When you practice mindfulness, you can empower yourself and fine tune the subconscious abilities that you have. Using mindful strategies, you’ll be able to focus better, lower your stress and boost your confidence and self-esteem.
Once you learn to accept yourself, you’ll be able to have compassion for yourself, too. This will defeat any negative internal talk that you may have been practicing. Meditation is a strategy that you can use to achieve mindfulness in order to accept and empower yourself.
It helps users quiet the mind so that they can be fully in the present and accepting of the emotions and thoughts that they have. Choose a place where you’ll be comfortable so that you’ll be able to feel relaxed.
Some people choose to sit while meditating and others prefer to lie down. You can also practice mindful meditation while you’re walking outside or in your home. Relax and focus on what’s around you and how you’re inhaling and exhaling.
Be aware of the sensations you feel and the emotions that you’re experiencing. Another strategy that’s often used is deep breathing. You can start this the same way that you would with mindful meditation where you find a comfortable place and begin.
But you can also practice deep breathing while you’re active at home or at work. You focus on drawing in deep breaths and slowly releasing them. You can also use mindful replacement techniques.
These are strategies that call for you to be aware of the thoughts that you think about yourself rather than simply letting them pass through your mind. Whenever any negative self talk pops into your mind, you make a conscious choice to stop and correct the thought.
You correct it by replacing it with affirming words that help you accept yourself as you are. This helps you reprogram your thoughts to enable you to feel empowered rather than listening to words that hinder you and create self-doubt.