Are you dealing with religious abuse or spiritual abuse from a narcissist? If so, you're not alone. Narcissists are infamous for using religion to manipulate, control and absolutely dominate you through fear of what will happen to you if you don't do what they want.
In this video, Narcissists and Religious Abuse (AKA Spiritual Abuse): When Narcissists Use Religion to Control You, I'll define religious abuse and outline how narcissists use it against you.
The official definition of religious/spiritual abuse:
Religious abuse is abuse administered under the guise of religion, including harassment or humiliation, which may result in psychological trauma. Religious abuse may also include misuse of religion for selfish, secular, or ideological ends such as the abuse of a clerical position.
You know what you gain when you leave the narcissist. But what will you lose? Everyone's always telling you how much better life will be when you leave a narcissist right? They tell you what you'll gain - your freedom, your peace, etc.
No more of not having anyone to share in your accomplishments or appreciate your talents, because the narc doesn’t want to share the limelight.
being able to express your opinion without being accused of wanting to argue.
being able to have a collection and not be called a hoarder.
being able to be tired or sick without someone being pissed off because you're not taking care of them.
Being able to watch tv!
Being able to play Xbox!
Being allowed to stay up as long as you want to!
Not having to explain why your interests are not weird!
Being able to have an interest!
Being able to have a holiday that's not ruined, or a birthday!
No more hiding from the neighbors, so they can’t ask you questions!
Being allowed to raise your kids lovingly without paying the consequences!
Being able to say what I like and want matters!
no more tears and confusion!
No more name calling
No more narcissists saying they are playing when confronted
No more hearing, “If I don't give you a hard time, who will?”
not having your immune system damaged, lowered, compromised and destroyed leading to depression, illnesses and death. If the narc has financial incentives to see you dead, it all adds up.
- no more lies
- no emotional blackmail
- no more narc rage
- no more emotional abuse
- no more discouraging you
- no more constant fault finding
- no more confusion
No more of that feeling of terror just before and during a physical attack.
No more getting abuse for looking the wrong direction
No more catching a disease from the narc and then s/he's jealous because you are getting medical attention for said disease.
Fearing for my life and the life of my pet.
Fearing his or her calling the police on me for breaking the peace because I'm crying over her/his raging.
Watching him destroy the lives of his/her kids.
Having his ex-wife and another female friend in my bedroom, as I sleep or not.
Not having any of my things welcome in the home s/he wants me to share with him/her.
Not being stopped when I want to visit with family.
Not being stopped from sleeping all night, and not being stopped when I've decided I'm tired.
Not being forced to watch filth on tv and video.
No more “Hurry! Go to bed your dad's home!" and yelling at my children so he didn't.
No more dealing with a narcissist crushing/making fun of your goals and dreams
No more buying things for yourself and having them get broken
No more defending myself of BS.
No more starting every conversation with "now please don't get pissed, but…”
No more hearing a narcissist criticize my voice on phone calls and say they knew something was wrong.
No more having my quietness evaluated or being criticized for "a look a narcissist claimed I had"
No more being teased about my eyes.
No more being criticized about my looks.
No more hearing that I was a big girl; or being asked how much I weighed.
No more walking on eggshells
No more narcissist acting like they want to see you out of kindness but they’re broke, need food, need bus money/ a ride, and need clean laundry and play it like they’re doing you a favor by gracing you with their awesome company
No more escalating violence because she knows the law is on a female’s side and guys are guilty until proven innocent.
No more watching the narcissist check out young men/women half my age and then blaming me for paranoia.
No more sheer terror over uncovering complex lies, betrayal and deceit.
No more being fearful for my life over discovering the lies.
No more being lied about to police officers and being falsely thrown into jail for a day.
No more starving literally for love and food.
No more flying monkey shit head dumb ass fucks.
No more trauma.
No more gaslighting.
No more being threatened to be homeless.
No more stupid idiots surrounding me making me stupider emotionally and intellectually.
No more having my shit stolen.
Not having to worry that the narcissist isn't answering the phone on break time and learning later that they were in the car with someone else of the opposite sex.
No more porn in the DVD, on the computer, under the bed, in the shed, on top of the cupboard, in our caravan, in his truck, bedside drawer, on his phone, on his work computer.
No more paranoia about where the narcissist is at
No more finding Viagra in his car, stripper cards hidden in the kitchen and the proclamations "dindu nuffin"
No more caring what his/her stupid followers think of me and wondering what I have done now for all the negative judgements.
No more having to be a designated driver because the narc will always get drunk &/or stoned to "have a good time”.
No more being called too sensitive
No more cyber stalking
no longer being told you need to go to church
No more having to get tested for aids
No more being ditched on holidays
No more having to cancel everythingything
No more contact!
Being glad to be alive now that I know how to identify these beasts.
Not having to deal with the narcissist’s screams at midnight or later, waking up all the neighborhood, just because I told them something they didn't like or I told them if they didn't change, I would leave.
Not being abused anymore, like an object, with no emotions, no love, no feelings.
Not having to deal anymore with the devastation in my kid's eyes because the narcissist didn't keep theirpromises towards them. or toward me.
No more having to pretend I’m dumb and that I believed the lies.
No more bending over backwards trying to please my narcissist ex
No more being ignored after sex even if you did everything just the way the narcissist wanted.
No more feeling so alone and unloved and finally realizing you thought you were sharing your soul, but to the narcissist, the act had no meaning.
No more being just an "appliance" the narcissist used.
No more being repeatedly discarded.
No more being looked at with dead or empty eyes.
No more not ever being apologized to.
No more having to share your life and living space with a complete and total monster.
No more having to “loan” the narcissist money.
No more having to prove myself and being afraid of expressing myself
No more getting in trouble for missed days at work during discards and devalues
No more fearing their mood swings.
No more turning down friends invites for dinner fearing the narcissist would get jealous.
No more head games.
No more being accused of having someone in bed with me when the narcissist would call.
No more feeling nervous when they would drive 100 mph and hearing the narcissist was a good driver and that cars are made to drive fast blah blah blah)
Today is an easy day. Yesterday was tough and you made it through - because obviously you are amazing!! Today, we are going to take it easy - we'll plan for the next few days, and do some shopping - either right in our homes or out in the stores.
If you have anything left to finish, go ahead and do that now.
Pick up any mess your family has made in the last 24 hours. Run the vacuum in your clean new family room, straighten a pillow or two, or just stand back and admire how amazing it looks.
Next, why not reward yourself for your determination and do a little shopping?
Head to a Super Store, an office supply store or your favorite storage specialty store and have some fun. Buy a label maker.
These useful little things may seem a little Type-A but Type-A is good in your new, organized home.
Your plan is to stay organized, right?
The process of discretely labeling boxes and other containers can help you both remember what is in them, and make it easier and faster to replace that item properly.
You can also investigate nice storage tubs, pretty file folders and unique baskets. They do not have to be expensive to be effective. If you can afford it, buy a bunch; we have 25 more days of organizing to get to and a lot of rooms, drawers and shelves to organize.
**LINKS MENTIONED**These are the links I promised to the things that I bought to do my decluttering and organization over the next 24 days:
Narcissists are well-known for their gaslighting, manipulation and drama - and often, their efforts to make you jealous. But did you know they also get insanely jealous at times? And do you know why that happens? In this video, I'll fill you in on why a narcissist gets jealous and what exactly triggers that - plus, how a narcissist's jealousy affects YOU.
Today we are tackling one of the messiest rooms in the house. The Family Room.
Take a deep breath and let’s get to it.
Get four tubs or boxes and label them “Toss”, “Donate”, “Keep” and “Relocate”. Keep is for items that will stay in this room and Relocate is for things that need to go somewhere else in the house. Starting in a corner, work your way around the room. Clear off the top of each horizontal surface and empty out every drawer. Put the items in the appropriate bins.
Be strict with yourself about what you keep. Do you really need your collection of design magazines from 1992? Do you need a Barney VHS video when your “baby” just turned 12? Your local library loves donations like this. Better yet, with today’s modern technology and streaming services like Netflix, you can probably watch most of the movies in your collection at no additional charge. Why not donate them all? Imagine all that extra space.
Games are another challenge for the family room. If you can find all the pieces, then make space in a cabinet so your family can easily access the fun. If you are missing too many pieces to make it work, get rid of it. Who wants to play Yahtzee with only 3 die?
Make sure you clean, dust, wipe, whatever before you replace the Keep items. This includes the back of the electronics, the top of the picture frames, everything. You’ll thank me when you’re done.
If you are or ever have been in a relationship with a narcissist, chances are that you might be codependent. In this video, I'll fill you in on what that means and how to overcome it. And my friend? You CAN overcome it - I promise.