Turning Negative Self-Talk Into Positive Action

Turning Negative Self-Talk Into Positive Action

How do you cope with your negative self-talk? Here I give a few examples of turning that negative focus into something positive. Comments or questions?

For information about Lise Colucci and how to schedule coaching, group coaching or to call in as a survivor on a future you can find her here http://queenbeeing.com/lise/

Let’s connect: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lise.colucci… Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lisecolucci… Twitter: https://twitter.com/lise_coach

For group peer support, join SPAN (Support for People Affected by Narcissistic abuse in toxic relationships) – AKA “The SPANily” – at http://queenbeeing.com/span

157 Best Positive Thinking Quotes to Inspire You When You Are Feeling Down

157 Best Positive Thinking Quotes to Inspire You When You Are Feeling Down

Life can be a little challenging sometimes, especially when a narcissist is around.Positive Thinking Quotes That Will Change Your Vibe Fast

And who can blame you for feeling discouraged, burnt out and often times, depressed?

When you’re feeling blue, sometimes all you need to do is change your mind–to change the way you’re looking at the situation.

That’s why I’ve pulled together this list of 158 quotes to inspire you when you’re feeling down. Know of one I missed? Let me know!

Positive Thinking Quotes to Inspire You When You Are Feeling Down

  1. “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, therefore, is not an act but a habit.” – Aristotle
  2. “All things are difficult before they are easy.” – Thomas Fuller
  3. “All you can change is yourself, but sometimes that changes everything!” – Gary W Goldstein
  4. “An attitude of positive expectation is the mark of the superior personality.”- Brian Tracy
  5. “Be soft. Do not let the world make you hard. Do not let pain make you hate. Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness. Take pride that even though the rest of the world may disagree, you still believe it to be a beautiful place.” – Kurt Vonnegut
  6. “Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy.” –Norman Vincent Peale
  7. “Don’t let life discourage you; everyone who got where he is had to begin where he was.” – Richard L. Evans
  8. “Happiness is an attitude. We either make ourselves miserable, or happy and strong. The amount of work is the same.” – Francesca Reigler
  9. “Happiness often sneaks in through a door you didn’t know you left open.” – John Barrymore
  10. “Happiness, like unhappiness, is a proactive choice.” – Stephen Covey
  11. “Hate. It has caused a lot of problems in this world but has not solved one yet.” – Maya Angelou
  12. “Hope is a waking dream.” – Aristotle
  13. “I am the greatest, I said that even before I knew I was.” – Muhammad Ali
  14. “I do believe we’re all connected. I do believe in positive energy. I do believe in the power of prayer. I do believe in putting good out into the world. And I believe in taking care of each other.” – Harvey Fierstein
  15. “I do not believe in taking the right decision, I take a decision and make it right.” ― Muhammad Ali Jinnah
  16. “I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.” – Douglas Adams
  17. “I’ve had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened” – Mark Twain
  18. “I’ve learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow.” – Maya Angelou
  19. “I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.” – Michael Jordan
  20. “If opportunity doesn’t knock, build a door.” – Milton Berle
  21. “If someone tells you, “You can’t” they really mean, “I can’t.” – Sean Stephenson
  22. “If we’re growing, we’re always going to be out of our comfort zone.” – John C Maxwell
  23. “If you can change your mind, you can change your life.” – William James
  24. “If you can dream it, then you can achieve it. You will get all you want in life if you help enough other people get what they want.” – Zig Ziglar
  25. “If you look the right way, you can see that the whole world is a garden.” ― Frances Hodgson Burnett, The Secret Garden
  26. “If you think you can do a thing or think you can’t do a thing, you’re right.” – Henry Ford
  27. “If you want light to come into your life, you need to stand where it is shining.” – Guy Finley
  28. “In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: It goes on.” – Robert Frost
  29. “Keep your face always toward the sunshine – and shadows will fall behind you.” ― Walt Whitman
  30. “Learning is a gift. Even when pain is your teacher.” – Maya Watson
  31. “Life has many ways of testing a person’s will, either by having nothing happen at all or by having everything happen all at once.” – Paulo Coelho
  32. “Life is a bowl of cherries. Some cherries are rotten while others are good; its your job to throw out the rotten ones and forget about them while you enjoy eating the ones that are good! There are two kinds of people: those who choose to throw out the good cherries and wallow in all the rotten ones, and those who choose to throw out all the rotten ones and savor all the good ones.”  ― C. JoyBell C.
  33. “Life is a gift, and it offers us the privilege, opportunity, and responsibility to give something back by becoming more.” – Tony Robbins
  34. “No matter what the situation, remind yourself “I have a choice.” – Deepak Chopra
  35. “Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.” – Thomas Edison
  36. “Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.” – Winston Churchill
  37. “Success is falling nine times and getting up ten.” – Jon Bon Jovi
  38. “Success is not to be measured by the position someone has reached in life, but the obstacles he has overcome while trying to succeed.” – Booker T. Washington
  39. “Take chances, make mistakes. That’s how you grow. Pain nourishes your courage. You have to fail in order to practice being brave.” – Mary Tyler Moore
  40. “The art of being wise is the art of knowing what to overlook.” – William James
  41. “The best way to gain self-confidence is to do what you are afraid to do.” – Unknown
  42. “The difference between stumbling blocks and stepping stones is how you use them.” – Unknown
  43. “The difference in winning and losing is most often…not quitting.” – Walt Disney
  44. “The next time you feel slightly uncomfortable with the pressure in your life, remember no pressure, no diamonds. Pressure is a part of success.” – Eric Thomas
  45. “The only place where your dream becomes impossible is in your own thinking.” – Robert H Schuller
  46. “The past has no power over the present moment.” – Eckhart Tolle
  47. “The will to win, the desire to succeed, the urge to reach your full potential… these are the keys that will unlock the door to personal excellence.” – Confucius
  48. “There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle, or the mirror that reflects it.”  – Edith Wharton
  49. “There is little difference in people, but that little difference makes a big difference. The little difference is attitude. The big difference is whether it is positive or negative.” – W. Clement Stone
  50. “To avoid criticism do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.” – Elbert Hubbard
  51. “Today is a new beginning, a chance to turn your failures into achievements & your sorrows into so goods. No room for excuses.” – Joel Brown
  52. “We are all here for some special reason. Stop being a prisoner of your past. Become the architect of your future.” – Robin Sharma
  53. “We are responsible for what we are, and whatever we wish ourselves to be, we have the power to make ourselves.” – Swami Vivekananda
  54. “We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are.” – Anais Nin
  55. “Whatever you want to do, do it now. There are only so many tomorrows.” – Michael Landon
  56. “When I do good, I feel good. When I do bad, I feel bad. That’s my religion.” – Abraham Lincoln
  57. “When I hear somebody sigh, ‘Life is hard,’ I am always tempted to ask, ‘Compared to what?’” – Sydney Harris
  58. “When the world pushes you to your knees, you’re in the perfect position to pray.” – Rumi
  59. “When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” – Viktor Frankl
  60. “With everything that has happened to you, you can either feel sorry for yourself or treat what has happened as a gift. Everything is either an opportunity to grow or an obstacle to keep you from growing. You get to choose.” – Dr. Wayne W Dyer
  61. “You are never too old to set another goal or dream a new dream.” – C.S Lewis
  62. “You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you stop to look fear in the face.” – Eleanor Roosevelt
  63. “You must make a decision that you are going to move on. It wont happen automatically. You will have to rise up and say, ‘I don’t care how hard this is, I don’t care how disappointed I am, I’m not going to let this get the best of me. I’m moving on with my life.” – Joel Osteen
  64. “You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” – Buddha
  65. ”Act or accept.” – Anonymous
  66. ”Talent is formed in solitude, character in the bustle of the world.” – Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
  67. ”You are what you think about all day long.” — Dr. Robert Schuller, Adversity introduces a man to himself.- Author Unknown
  68. A happy person is not a person in a certain set of circumstances, but rather a person with a certain set of attitudes.- Hugh Downs
  69. Accept Change & Survive
  70. Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter. – Mark Twain
  71. An idea can turn to dust or magic, depending on the talent that rubs against it. – Bill Bernbach
  72. An obstacle is often a stepping stone. – Prescott
  73. Anyone can do something when they WANT to do it. Really successful people do things when they don’t want to do it. – Dr. Phil
  74. Attitudes are contagious. Make yours worth catching. – Unknown
  75. Being defeated is only a temporary condition; giving up is what makes it permanent. – Marilyn vos Savant, Author and Advice Columnist
  76. By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day. – Robert Frost
  77. Defeat is not bitter unless you swallow it. – Joe Clark
  78. Desire is the starting point of all achievement, not a hope, not a wish, but a keen pulsating desire which transcends everything. – Napoleon Hill
  79. Do first things first, and second things not at all. – Peter Drucker.
  80. Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do. – John Wooden
  81. Do not wait to strike till the iron is hot; but make it hot by striking. – William B. Sprague
  82. Enduring habits I hate…. Yes, at the very bottom of my soul I feel grateful to all my misery and bouts of sickness and everything about me that is imperfect, because this sort of thing leaves me with a hundred backdoors through which I can escape from enduring habits. – Friedrich Nietzsche, The Gay Science, 1882
  83. Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try Again. Fail again. Fail better. – Samuel Beckett
  84. Experience is what you get when you don’t get what you want. – Dan Stanford
  85. Failure is the condiment that gives success its flavor. – Truman Capote
  86. Fall down seven times, get up eight. – Japanese Proverb
  87. Flops are a part of life’s menu and I’ve never been a girl to miss out on any of the courses. – Rosalind Russell
  88. Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds. – Albert Einstein
  89. Have the passion, take the action & magic will happen. – Bar Rafaeli
  90. He who has a why to live can bear almost anyhow. – Friedrich Nietzsche
  91. I am an optimist. It does not seem too much use being anything else. – Winston Churchill
  92. I can’t understand why people are frightened by new ideas. I’m frightened by old ones. – John Cage
  93. I know for sure that what we dwell on is who we become. – Oprah Winfrey
  94. I think and think for months and years. Ninety-nine times, the conclusion is false. The hundredth time I am right. – Albert Einstein
  95. If you keep saying things are going to be bad, you have a chance of being a prophet. – Isaac B. Singer
  96. If you want to make your dreams come true, the first thing you have to do is wake up. – J.M. Power
  97. If you want to test your memory, try to recall what you were worrying about one year ago today. – E. Joseph Cossman
  98. If you worry about yesterday’s failures, then today’s successes will be few. – Anonymous
  99. If you’re going through hell, keep going. – Winston Churchill
  100. If you’re going to be able to look back on something and laugh about it, you might as well laugh about it now. – Marie Osmond
  101. In any situation, the best thing you can do is the right thing; the next best thing you can do is the wrong thing; the worst thing you can do is nothing. – Theodore Roosevelt
  102. In matters of style, swim with the current; in matters of principle, stand like a rock. – Thomas Jefferson
  103. Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great. – Mark Twain
  104. Keep on going and the chances are you will stumble on something, perhaps when you are least expecting it. I have never heard of anyone stumbling on something sitting down. – Charles F. Kettering, Engineer and Inventor
  105. Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Willing is not enough; we must do. -Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
  106. Life is “trying things to see if they work” – Ray Bradbury
  107. Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it. – Dennis P. Kimbro
  108. Life is a shipwreck but we must not forget to sing in the lifeboats. – Voltaire
  109. Losers visualize the penalties of failure. Winners visualize the rewards of success. – Unknown
  110. Many great ideas go unexecuted, and many great executioners are without ideas. One without the other is worthless. – Tim Blixseth
  111. Motivation is a fire from within. If someone else tries to light that fire under you, chances are it will burn very briefly. – Stephen R. Covey
  112. People become really quite remarkable when they start thinking that they can do things. When they believe in themselves they have the first secret of success. – Norman Vincent Peale
  113. People seem not to see that their opinion of the world is also a confession of character. – Ralph Waldo Emerson
  114. Positive anything is better than negative thinking. – Elbert Hubbard, Ray Norda, Chairman, Novell
  115. Remember that happiness is a way of travel, not a destination.- Roy Goodman
  116. Resist Change & Die
  117. Setting an example is not the main means of influencing others; it is the only means.- Albert Einstein
  118. Some succeed because they are destined. Some succeed because they are determined. – Unknown
  119. Sometimes even to live is an act of courage. – Seneca
  120. Sometimes you just got to give yourself what you wish someone else would give you. – Dr Phil
  121. Sooner or later, those who win are those who think they can. – Richard Bach
  122. Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will. – Mahatma Gandhi
  123. Success consists of doing the common things of life uncommonly well. – Unknown
  124. Success is a state of mind. If you want success, start thinking of yourself as a success. – Dr. Joyce Brothers
  125. Success is the ability to go from failure to failure without losing your enthusiasm. – Sir Winston Churchill
  126. Success seems to be connected with action. Successful people keep moving. They make mistakes but don’t quit. – Conrad Hilton
  127. Take the first step in faith. You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.” – Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.
  128. The best way out is always through.- Robert Frost
  129. The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up. – Mark Twain
  130. The best way to predict the future is to create it. – Unknown
  131. The difference between ordinary and extraordinary is that little extra. – Unknown
  132. The only people who find what they are looking for in life are the fault finders. – Foster’s Law
  133. The secret to life is meaningless unless you discover it yourself. – W. Somerset Maugham
  134. The sun shines and warms and lights us and we have no curiosity to know why this is so; but we ask the reason of all evil, of pain, and hunger, and mosquitoes and silly people. – Ralph Waldo Emerson
  135. The surest way not to fail is to determine to succeed.- Richard B. Sheridan
  136. The world is more malleable than you think and it’s waiting for you to hammer it into shape. – Bono
  137. There are only two rules for being successful. One, figure out exactly what you want to do, and two, do it. – Mario Cuomo
  138. There are two primary choices in life: to accept conditions as they exist, or accept the responsibility for changing them. – Dr. Denis Waitley
  139. There is no education like adversity. – Disraeli
  140. Those who wish to sing, always find a song. – Swedish Proverb
  141. Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover. – Mark Twain
  142. Vision doesn’t usually come as a lightening bolt. Rather it comes as a slow crystallization of life challenges that we one day recognize as a beautiful diamond with great value to ourselves and others. – Dr. Michael Norwood
  143. Vision without action is daydream. Action without vision is nightmare. – Japanese Proverb
  144. We are all inventors, each sailing out on a voyage of discovery, guided each by a private chart, of which there is no duplicate. The world is all gates, all opportunities. – Ralph Waldo Emerson
  145. We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, therefore, is not an act but a habit.- Aristotle
  146. We judge of man’s wisdom by his hope. – Ralph Waldo Emerson
  147. What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us. – Ralph Waldo Emerson
  148. What you do speaks so loudly that I cannot hear what you say” — Ralph Waldo Emerson”
  149. What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals. – Goethe
  150. Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it. – Mahatma Gandhi
  151. Whenever you find whole world against you just turn around and lead the world. – Anonymous
  152. Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it’s time to pause and reflect. – Mark Twain
  153. Where the willingness is great, the difficulties cannot be great. – Machiavelli.
  154. Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you’re right. – Henry Ford
  155. Winners lose much more often than losers. So if you keep losing but you’re still trying, keep it up! You’re right on track. – Matthew Keith Groves
  156. You can get everything in life you want if you will just help enough other people get what they want. – Zig Ziglar
  157. You must be the change you want to see in the world. – Mahatma Gandhi
Rewrite Your Story After Narcissistic Abuse: This is where you begin (and pain ends)

Rewrite Your Story After Narcissistic Abuse: This is where you begin (and pain ends)

Travel deep inside yourself without the baggage of conditioning. Be an explorer, have patience and eventually your true nature will surface. You will return from your journey with fresh skin and you will approach each day with a wonderful sense of wonder and bliss. ~~Marco R. Capristo

Figure out who you are after narcissistic abuseWhether we recognize it or not, most everyone’s habits and behavior are a result of some form of conditioning – and for those who have experienced the painful and all-encompassing abuse that a narcissist is known for, the conditioning hasn’t always been in our best interest. 

Related: Are you in a relationship with a narcissist? Find out. 

It begins when we’re small children–our parents’ opinions of us begin to help us form our own perceptions of ourselves. If we’re cursed with narcissistic parents, our perceptions are skewed, twisted…often, plain wrong. 

That’s because children are sponges – they absorb everything in their environment, including and especially the opinions of their parents and other prominent people in their lives. 

If they tell us we’re beautiful, we believe that we are–but if they tell us we’re horrible and sick, we’ll believe that too.

And it doesn’t end there–add in the opinions of your teachers, siblings and friends…and later those of your spouse, your bosses and coworkers, neighbors and don’t forget that lady at the dry cleaner’s last week.

All of this “conditioning,” left unchecked, can sometimes add up to a very negative self image–especially if you don’t know that you don’t have to accept it.

And, we become what we perceive–we are what we believe we are.

Here’s the thing, friend. I’ve been saying this for years, and I don’t mean to nag. But please, take just a second and really focus on this next sentence. 

You don’t have to accept someone else’s judgment, perception or opinion of you.

You get to write your own story.

 You feel me? But seriously, go back and read it one more time if you need to – it’s that important. And, while you’re at it – tweet it out to your friends. 

Fact is, you can be whomever and whatever you choose. All you have to do is believe that you can–really believe it. I mean, feel it down to your bones. And then, believe that you’re receiving it, that you’ve already received it. Own it–because it’s yours if you want it.

Bliss Mission: Choose Your Own Story

9316349-77549111_23-s1-v1Today, I challenge you to take a look at the people around you–those you love, those you like and even those who present certain struggles. Remember your childhood, and the people you spent time with during that time.

Now, think of all the perceptions they had about you. Your parents? Your friends? Others?

Then, think about you. Have you adopted someone else’s opinion of who you are? Or have you constantly struggled against it? Do you feel guilty for being who you are, because you haven’t become what someone else wanted you to become?

Read also: Gaslighting, Love Bombing and Flying Monkeys

Most of us can identify with this feeling on some level, I suspect, but most especially those who have been negatively affected by a narcissist’s gaslighting and abuse in relationships. 

This next part is the hardest part of all, so I hope you’re sitting down.

It’s time to begin to release the negative self-perceptions you’ve held on to for years.

Related: Do you believe what you think you believe? Rediscover yourself after narcissistic abuse. 

BREATHE! This is going to FEEL very difficult, but once you realize how much better your life is going to be, you’re going to wonder why you’ve waited so long. Are you ready for this? 

It’s finally time to let go of every disapproving look, veiled insult and rude comment.

It’s time to wash away the well-intentioned but misguided attempts to save (read: change to fit someone else’s idea of perfect) your soul, your sense of fashion and your sense of justice.

I know what you’re thinking. Probably something along the lines of “Yeah, sure, and how would you propose I go about THAT?” Well, you know me – I’ve got an answer. 

And, if you know me well, you know that it works – because it’s how I survived my own narcissistic abuse situation. 

Try this.

Today, every time you have a negative thought about yourself, take notice and change your mind. 

Cancel the thought, and intentionally replace it with an affirmation of your true desires. So, if you t9316303-77549111_23-s1-v1hink to yourself, “I am always late,” notice it. Then, mentally cancel the thought and affirm, “I am always on time.”

Perception is everything, people. And you can change yours at will. 🙂 Good stuff, yes? I think so. I’ll leave you with a final thought to get your wheels turning as you begin to release any negative perceptions you’ve held about yourself.

“The trick is in what one emphasizes. We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves strong. The amount of work is the same.”~ Carlos Castaneda

Do not allow the simplicity of this tip make you doubt its power – this is one of those things that WORKS – changing your perception intentionally, and with a little practice, not only will you see results fast, but you’ll soon realize how much control you really DO have over your own life. 

Are you ready to rewrite your story? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments section, below! Let’s talk about this. 

 

Answered: Is Extreme Self Confidence Just Arrogance in Disguise?

Answered: Is Extreme Self Confidence Just Arrogance in Disguise?

“Calm self-confidence is as far from conceit as the desire to earn a decent living is remote from greed.” ~Channing Pollock

Extremely self confident or really arrogant? How to know for sure.

How is a high level of self-esteem or self-confidence different from plain old arrogance?

~~The Question~~

Submitted by a Reader:

I was a shy and insecure kid and teenager, but the older I get, the more self-confidence I have. It didn’t come easy, though. I worked hard to get here and I work hard to stay here.

I work out and eat right, and I have a job I really love. I’m in a good relationship and I’m thinking of getting married and starting a family in the near future.

After years of feeling like I just wasn’t good enough, I feel great about myself finally, and I’m not afraid to let my confidence shine through. This is working great for me and I am mostly real happy with life. 

So mostly I’m super happy these days. 

But here’s the problem. My mom and my sister seem to think I’ve become “really full of myself.” They are always making snide comments about how I need to be humble and how I shouldn’t “brag:” so much. I don’t brag, I just tell them the good things that are happening in my life. I am trying to stay positive, like you suggest, because I want my life to keep getting better.

But these two are always saying I have to “face my issues,” which I have done already. I just don’t want to focus on them. They are just sooo negative and I don’t know how to make them stop acting that way.

What can I do to change the way they treat me? Or do you think I am the one in the wrong here?

~~My Response~~

First, let me congratulate you on your emerging self-confidence! I know how hard it can be to overcome insecurity, and I applaud you for taking charge and making positive changes in your life.

Now, as far as your mom and your sister go, the first thing you need to recognize is that, most likely, the reason they can’t be happy for you and your new-found confidence is that they, themselves, are insecure for some reason. Your success most likely makes them more aware of their own failures or insecurities.

It’s also important to know that it’s not your responsibility to help them feel better about themselves. You can definitely offer support and compliments whenever possible, but unless they have the desire to make positive changes within themselves, your input will only go so far.

So, my suggestion to you is to focus on your own perceptions, both of them and of yourself. Continue to work on feeling good about yourself and your life, and don’t allow anyone else to define you. You get to decide who you are, and you do not have to accept negative perceptions from anyone else.

Heads up: Do you think you might be dealing with a narcissist? Find out here. 

As I told another reader who was struggling with feelings of unworthiness, your mother and sister aren’t alone–approximately 85 percent of all people have felt  like they weren’t good enough at one time or another. It’s a common and unfortunate phenomenon in our society, one that you dealt with yourself in the past.

Rather than let their feelings of inferiority affect you, try just acknowledging them and moving forward. So, the next time you hear a snide remark about yourself, just let it pass. You don’t need to defend yourself–this only adds fuel to their unhappy fire. Instead, just focus on something that makes you feel good.

It can be really tough to handle negativity from the people you love, especially when you’re on such a positive track yourself. It’s human nature to want to share your joy with the people around you, and it can be disheartening when they’re not willing to be happy for you.

Just remember that no one else can define you. Not only do you get to do that yourself, but you don’t have to accept anyone else’s definition either.

As writer Peter Murphy says, “Just because someone is concerned for your welfare does not mean that their advice or input has value.”

You can also change your expectations. Remember that we get what we expect–so if you expect your mother and sister to be negative, they’re sure to give it to you. Try changing the way you feel about them. While you can’t directly change another person, you can focus on the good things about them as much as possible, and you might notice a positive change in them too.

In the end, try to stop worrying so much about what other people think and focus instead on how you feel. That’s when you’ll truly find peace.

So, how about you? How do you handle negativity from the people you love? What advice would you give this reader? Share your thoughts, ideas and experiences in the comments – let’s discuss.

 

33 Signs You’ve Found Your Life’s Work

33 Signs You’ve Found Your Life’s Work

When I work with patients, I always ask them whether they’re doing their life’s work, because I truly believe that how we spend most of our day, and whether it’s in line with our life’s work, affects our health. When I ask a woman if she’s doing her life’s work, way too often, she stares at me blankly.

Life's WorkSo how can you tell? How do you know if you’re doing your life’s work? There’s no easy answer to that question other than “You just know.” But to give you a sense of what it feels like to discover and then commit to fulfilling your life’s work. I’ve created this list of signs for you.

Related: Got a Narcissist at Work? This is How to Deal with Real Life Horrible Bosses

 
33 Signs You’ve Found Your Life’s Work

1.     You’re scared shitless.

2.     You notice that the pieces of the puzzle of your life’s work all line up, and you can tell that The Universe has got your back.

3.     You feel like you’re on a rollercoaster (simultaneously exhilarated and nauseous).

4.     There’s a “plunk” sort of feeling in your gut that affirms that you’ve found your life’s work.

5.     Your whole life – the triumphs and the setbacks – suddenly makes sense.

6.     Magical things start happening, and although you feel a sense of wonder, you’re not surprised.

7.     None of your choices feel safe.

8.     Everybody suspects you’ve officially lost it.

9.     You’ve quit listening to what everybody thinks.

10.  You feel guided.

11.  You’ve got butterflies in your tummy.

12.  You feel like you’ve risked everything but it’s all okay.

13.  You feel a wee bit lonely, because nobody has ever blazed this trail exactly the same way you have.

14.  The nightmares are replaced by dreams that affirm your direction.

15.  You feel spiritually in tune.

16.  There’s a good chance you have no employer matching your 401K contribution.

17.  You naturally attract those that help further your life’s work.

18.  You’re pushed to the very edge – and just as you start to question your life’s work, everything falls into place.

19.  The money shows up right when you need it.

20.  You sometimes wonder if you’re totally nuts.

21.  You feel giddy for no apparent reason.

22.  You have a sense that you’re on the right path, even if you don’t know where you’re going.

23.  You’re life’s work might seem hard to others, but for you, it’s a piece of cake.

24.  Others are better off because you’re doing your life’s work.

25.  You feel a perfect mix of total panic and inner peace beyond comprehension.

26.  You can’t wait to do your life’s work every morning. In fact, it’s hard to drag you away from it, even on vacation.

27.  You’d do your life’s work even if nobody ever paid you for it.

28.  You find yourself turning down other work, even if it’s more stable and more lucrative.

29.  You’re on a mission, and you know it.

30.  You don’t notice aches and pains the way you used to.

31.  Your health improves.

32.  Abundance just appears in your life in unexpected ways.

33.  You smile more than you ever have in your life.

Keep in mind that your life’s work doesn’t have to be a job. Your life’s work could be raising 21 children. Or volunteering in Africa or at your local soup kitchen.

As someone who has found her life’s work, I can say with absolute certainty that you know it when you’ve found it.

Have You Found Your Life’s Work?

Tell us if you’re one of the blessed who knows what you’re here on this earth to do.

Living my life’s work,

Lissa

About the Author

Lissa Rankin, MD: Founder of OwningPink.comPink Medicine Revolutionarymotivational speaker, and author of What’s Up Down There? Questions You’d Only Ask Your Gynecologist If She Was Your Best Friend and Encaustic Art: The Complete Guide To Creating Fine Art With Wax.

*Reprinted with permission from OwningPink.com.

 

 

Holiday How-To: 5 Ways to Keep Your Family Traditions Alive

Holiday How-To: 5 Ways to Keep Your Family Traditions Alive

“Family traditions counter alienation and confusion. They help us define who we are; they provide something steady, reliable and safe in a confusing world.” ~Susan LiebermanHow to Keep Your Family Traditions Alive

Family traditions can give comfort and build stronger relationships. Whether you’re just building your own traditions or you’re sticking with the ones your family has been following for generations, it’s important to preserve them, so they don’t fade over time.

So what can you do to preserve the traditions your family enjoys? 

Try these strategies to sustain your family traditions.

1. What are your traditions, anyway? Recognize and define your family traditions. The first step to keeping them alive is to find them.

Each family has a unique set of traditions. Ask yourself these questions if you’re having trouble defining yours. 

  • What were the traditions you noticed as you grew up?
  • What were the traditions you heard your grandparents and parents discuss?
  • How did you handle holidays, special occasions, and other events?

Tip: Traditions can come in many forms and vary greatly from family to family. They can include favorite meals, different ways to celebrate the holidays, special gifts for unusual events, or vacations to the same spot.

2. Carve it in stone! Write it down. Make a list of your family traditions. To help keep the traditions going, you can make a written record that can be passed down from generation to generation.

  • Family traditions can fade and change over time. They can be completely forgotten after the death of a loved one. They can also be replaced with new ideas that matter to the family.
  • You may want to gather the thoughts and memories of grandparents, parents, cousins, and others to fill out the list.

3. Consider the future generations! Create a guidebook to your family celebrations. Don’t be afraid to use visual media to your advantage. Your list doesn’t have to be limited to words. Photos and videos add a visual element that helps keep the traditions alive. They can help family members understand important events that contribute to the traditions.

Tip: The various types of media can be a growing project with new additions each year. You can ask other family members to share their photos and videos that add interest and memories to your traditions. Consider a website that an be printed yearly into a family almanac!

4. Hang loose! Stay flexible. It’s important to keep traditions flexible enough to work with your lifestyle. It’s fine to change traditions over time to make them realistic.

* You may admire your grandmother’s tradition of cooking an eight course meal from scratch every Thanksgiving without help. However, you don’t necessarily have to follow the exact procedure. Traditions should enhance the family’s experience. Don’t feel guilty about letting others help.

* The ideal family traditions will help your family members bond and make cherished memories together. They aren’t meant to feel like challenges or annoyances.

5. Build your own traditions to add to the list. Consider creating new traditions. Saving old traditions is only one part of the process. You can build new ones, too, as your family grows and changes. The old traditions can be adjusted or set aside as needed.

Tip: If you would like to create a new tradition, experts recommend starting slowly and asking other family members to get involved. Try out your ideas together. If the plan adds to your family’s enjoyment and succeeds in bringing your family members closer together, you might just have a wonderful new tradition!

Family traditions can help build stronger connections among family members and help keep the family together, even during difficult times. You can enjoy these traditions and preserve them for future generations by following simple steps. Your grandchildren and great-grandchildren will thank you for keeping these traditions alive.

Your Turn! Tell me in the comments about your family traditions! What are your favorites? Which ones would you like to add? I’d love to hear your thoughts!

Looking to make new family traditions? We’ve got ideas! Be sure to check out our holiday posts from our Pinterest Queen!

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