What to Change if You Think Therapy is Failing You

What to Change if You Think Therapy is Failing You

Do you feel that therapy isn't working for you? You don't have to settle for therapy sessions that leave you upset and confused. There are things you can change today that may provide more effective results.

Dealing with a narcissist? Check this out.

If not, consider these options:

1. Recognize the need for change. The first step is to recognize that you may need to make changes in how you receive or use therapy. First, ensure you're giving therapy a chance. You don't want to quit after one session. However, if you've been in therapy for months without seeing an improvement, then it may be time for a change.

2. Talk to the therapist. You can't expect to change anything if you don't address your concerns. Explain to your therapist how the therapy isn't working for you. Perhaps you and your therapist can devise a different approach to your issues. It's important to focus on specific things, so your therapist can understand how to help you. Discuss what you would like to change. Talk about the roadblocks that seem to be stopping you from seeing success with your therapy.

3. Consider another therapist. In some cases, you may not work well with your first therapist. It's possible that you simply need to find another person who will better understand you. You may even need to try several therapists until you find the right one. It's crucial that you investigate any therapist that you may be considering. Ask questions. Ensure they're licensed, professional, and know about your condition. You may need to seek out a specialist.

4. Check out other types of therapy. You may benefit from a different type of therapy. Individual therapy works well for many people, but it may not be the right thing for you. You may do better with group or couples therapy. Be willing to explore other therapy options.

5. Medications. It's possible that therapy isn't enough by itself to make a significant change in your life. Perhaps medications will help. Talk with your doctor about medicines that could make a difference, and their side effects, so you can make an informed decision. You may also want to think about a combination of medication and therapy. In some cases, this combination more effectively provides the results you seek from your therapy.

6. Be brave. It's difficult to admit that something isn't working for you, but you're committing time, effort, and money to have therapy. If the process isn't working, it's important to speak up. You won't see any changes until you address the issues. Consider, too, how much you're really exerting yourself. Are you following the therapist's advice and implementing it, Are you ignoring the techniques and homework, Therapy won't work unless you're willing to use the information you learn.

Therapy is an individual process and may need to be adjusted along the way. If you feel that your current therapy isn't working for you, have an open discussion with your doctor and consider alternatives. You may find the solution that makes all the difference!

My Most Magical Healing Tips: Getting Over Fear After Abuse

My Most Magical Healing Tips: Getting Over Fear After Abuse


Being fearless makes you incredibly powerful - but when you're in a toxic relationship with an abusive narcissist, you are often full of fear! Narcissists and people with NPD and other cluster B personality disorders are full of venom and they absolutely LOVE to see you being afraid. In fact, fear is one of their go-to methods to keep you stuck in these toxic abusive relationships.

"I am fearless, therefore I am powerful."

Fear is "False Evidence Appearing Real," so do like my kid suggests: Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway!

In this video, I've pulled questions and answers from my recent live stream (all the fluff has been removed!) and I'm sharing them with you for Self-Love Sunday today.

I'll share several tested and proven healing exercises I've developed that work especially well for the various stages of recovery from narcissistic abuse. Exercises include help with getting through the devalue and discard phases, how to stay away when you go no contact and more.

Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Q&A: How to Be Fearless During & After Toxic Relationships - SELF LOVE SUNDAY!

Q&A Includes Answers to the Following Questions:

And more.

  • Discover. Understand. Overcome. It's how smart people change their lives! 
  • On my YouTube channel, I offer free daily video coaching to help you discover, understand and overcome narcissistic abuse in toxic relationships! I like to call it toxic relationship rehab. If that sounds good to you, hit that subscribe button.
  • **LIVE EVERY TUESDAY! Never miss a live session! Just text "AngieLive" (no spaces) to 33222 and I'll send you a text each time I get ready to go live!
  • Schedule a coaching appointment with me at http://narcissisticabuserecovery.online
  • Get my books at http://booksangiewrote.com, schedule a coaching appointment and/or pick up your free 5-day fear-busting email course (specially designed for narcissistic abuse survivors) at http://narcissismsupportcoach.com.
  • Join SPAN (Support for People Affected by Narcissistic abuse in toxic relationships) - AKA "The SPANily" - at http://queenbeeing.com/span.

Let's Also Connect On:

Do You Unconsciously Sabotage Your Success? Perhaps This is Why

Do You Unconsciously Sabotage Your Success? Perhaps This is Why

Do you always seem to fall short of success? You might be unconsciously keeping yourself from reaching your goals, even when you think you really want to achieve them!

Learning about self-sabotage - and your reasons for it - can help you to stop this unconscious cycle so you can go on to create a life you desire.

Reflect on these reasons to determine if they might be keeping you from success:

1. Fear of failure. One of the reasons you may not reach for success is because you're afraid to fail. Failure is hard to manage, ignore, or handle. It can eat away at your self-esteem and make you doubt your abilities, so it's not surprising you'll do anything to avoid it.

2. Low self-esteem. If you lack confidence and suffer from low self-esteem, self-sabotage may feel natural for you.You might think you don't deserve success, so you unconsciously destroy any chance you have of getting it.

3. Fear of change. Success is often tied to change, such as a new job, better home, or other things. You may be sabotaging your efforts because you don't want anything to change. You're used to your current lifestyle and don't want to modify it. For example, you may claim that you want a mansion or a private jet, but you don't actually want to pay for these things or be responsible for them. So, you ensure you never have them in the first place.

4. Control issues. You might self-sabotage in order to remain in control. Are you allowing your control issues to prevent you from reaching success, Control and perfectionism are often tied together. If you want everything to be perfect all the time, then you may be losing out on big and important opportunities.

5. Habits. Sometimes your habits can sabotage you without you even realizing it.  For example, if you have a habit of always being late to meetings, then you may miss your chance to impress a client and get a raise. You self-sabotage your own success because of an old habit. Habits such as drinking and doing drugs are also extremely sabotaging.

6. Negativity and criticism. The criticism may come from your own internal negative voice, or it may be coming from outside sources such as your family members or friends. Negativity and criticism can be internalized and cause you to sabotage success. If you constantly hear that you're not good enough, smart enough, or talented enough, then you begin to believe this. You feel that you don't deserve to be successful. You may not want to try things that could help you because you don't think you're worthy of them. Family, friends, coworkers, bosses, and others may have you believing that you're useless, dumb, or worthless.

 In addition, research shows that your parents can affect you as an adult. If your parents exhibited self-sabotaging behavior, then you may copy it throughout your life. You grew up seeing this pattern and have a hard time breaking out of it. Their insecurities can carry over to your life.

If you're sabotaging your own life and future, you can change. It will require effort and time, but it's possible to reshape your thoughts.

Whenever a thought appears that doesn't support your efforts to achieve your goals, immediately replace it with a positive thought, instead. You'll get better and better at both recognizing unsupportive thoughts and changing them the more you practice it.

Soon, you'll be on your way to success!

Ask Yourself These 6 Questions to Develop Your Own Definition of Success

Ask Yourself These 6 Questions to Develop Your Own Definition of Success

Do you have your own definition of success? Most people are trying to live up to society's definition of success without considering if this is the best option for them.

Ask others what success means and you're likely to hear a variation of these answers:

  • Fancy car or two - Mercedes, BMW, Lexus
  • Nice house - Big, with a swimming pool, in a gated community
  • Respectable corporate job - something worthy of bragging about
  • Attractive spouse

Those things are fine if they're of your own choosing. But, if you take the time to think about it, your definition of success might be: Single, traveling the world, running my own business from a laptop, having adventures each day, and wearing flipflops at least eight hours each day. A person with this definition of success would be miserable in the first scenario.

You might find yourself accomplishing something that doesn't appeal to you in the end.

Avoid disappointment by creating your own definition of success!

Ask yourself these questions:

1. What legacy do I want to leave for my children and the world? At the end of your life, what do you want to look back upon, Is it wealth and a vast business empire, Do you want to leave a string of good works, Do you want to look back on a life full of adventures,

* How will you have wanted to spend your time,
* What financial resources do you want to leave behind,
* What do you want to be known for,

2. What are my values? A lifetime spent living your values will be fulfilling. Most people have a vague notion of what's important to them, but few take the time to think about it carefully. Pull out a piece of paper and make a list of your values.

3. What do I want to do? Make a list of all the things you want to see and do. Everything from skydiving to walking on the Great Wall of China. Write it down.

4. What type of life do I want to experience? You might desire a conventional marriage and six children with a white picket fence in the suburbs. Or you might like to live in a Manhattan condo by yourself and take full-advantage of the nightlife for the first 20 years of adulthood.

5. What it will take for me to feel successful? Imagine various scenarios and determine what would make you feel successful. Is it living in a cabin in the woods with few responsibilities, Or living in a 15,000-square foot penthouse, Imagine various careers and lifestyles. Which one feels like success to you,

6. What if no one else would ever know? The idea of owning a Ferrari might feel like success, but what if no one else would ever know you owned it, Would you still feel successful, An ideal version of success wouldn't involve the opinions of others.

* Search for a version of success that's meaningful to you, even if others are unaware of your possessions and accomplishments.

There is no universal definition of success. It's important not to fall into the trap of trying to impress your friends and family. Develop a version of success that is meaningful for you, regardless of society's values. You might find that your version of success is much more enjoyable and easier to attain.

How do you define success? Your own definition will require you to like what you do and how you do it. Will you like the person you've become?

5 Tools for Boosting Inner Strength: Narcissistic Abuse Survivors

5 Tools for Boosting Inner Strength: Narcissistic Abuse Survivors

There’s hardly a person alive who would tell you that life is anything but busy – and sometimes tough. You can be pulled in so many directions at once it can be easy to get stretched thin. For narcissistic abuse survivors, it's even more difficult.

No matter how old you are, you’ll encounter trying situations at home, at work, among your friends and family and even with strangers. Everything you go through taps into your inner strength and can drain it little by little.

You can’t do anything about what you experience simply because it’s part of life. But what you can do is to find ways to boost your inner strength so that you have the calm that you need to deal with whatever comes your way.

There are several tools that you can use to help boost your ability from an internal mindset perspective - so that regardless of what you face, you can have a life of calm.

Exercise to Gain Inner Strength

One of the easiest tools that you have at your disposal to use when you need to boost your mental strength is physical exercise. Exercise does so much more than give your muscles strength and help keep your weight under control.

Exercise is necessary to strengthen you emotionally - and one of the reasons for this is because it can calm stress. It’s a well known fact that stress is one of the leading causes for turmoil, loss of peace and mentally draining.

When you experience a loss of inner strength, you’ll feel tired, mentally sluggish and unable to concentrate. What’s going on is that the things you’re dealing with in life (even if they’re not necessarily horrible things) are chipping away at your inner strength.

What you go through in life will hit you internally long before it hits you outwardly. In other words, you’ll feel the stress first. You’ll fee anxious and restless and then you’ll exhibit physical symptoms like insomnia, headaches, stomachaches and more.

What exercise does is cause you to produce a greater supply of endorphins. Not only do these chemicals take care of stress, but they work to boost your supply of inner strength.

You’ll feel calmer and ready to handle whatever it is that you need to take care of. There are some exercises that are better for boosting your inner strength than others.

When you exercise vigorously - such as with aerobic exercise - you’ll find that you have more inner strength. This is because the faster paced exercise works to raise the endorphin levels, but at the same time, it drives down the stress level, gives you more confidence and a more positive attitude.

When you take part in a regular exercise routine, you’ll find that your store of inner strength increases and has a beneficial boost to your mental abilities. The key to using exercise to boost your inner strength is making sure that you find something that you enjoy doing.

If you don’t, you’ll only feel the added stress of doing something that you don’t want to do and you’ll be dealing with the negative emotions associated with that, instead of healing.

How Mantras Boost Your Inner Strength

If you’re not sure what a mantra is, it’s a sound or a word that’s used to help people focus when they’re meditating. There are many reasons that you want to use mantras.

They can help you deflect the thoughts and attitudes that can drain your inner strength. When you practice a mantra, you’ll notice that you have a more positive outlook toward whatever it is that you’re dealing with.

You’ll also discover that learning a mantra can set you free from stress and anxiety. The words that you use in a mantra or the sounds that you’ll use can vary depending on what you choose to do.

There can be particular mantras, too - based on what you’re searching for. Some people will use a basic Om sound as their mantra while others will use specific mantras that translate into requests for healing or blessings or other things that they want to focus on.

Mantras are a way of tapping into your inner strength and finding the balance that you need to restore the draining energy. When you have a mantra, you can use it to help you focus during the times that you feel uncertain or nervous.

You can use it to calm your fears and to help you find your center so that you remain in control. Studies have shown that people who use mantras to help boost their inner strength are often more successful in all areas of their lives than people who don’t.

You’ll experience clarity and a mental focus that others won’t have. Not only will you be able to boost your inner strength on a regular basis, but during a time of crisis when you really need your mental alertness.

Mantras help you be aware of what’s going on around you as well as within you. They can guide you to help lift you above the situation and to keep your perspective.

This will help you to see situations as solvable and as a moment in time rather than as something that can’t be overcome. When you practice with a mantra, it will teach you to be more confident in your abilities and can raise your self-esteem.

You’ll be able to find the positives even in the negative situations you might have to deal with. By using a mantra, you’ll be able to have a way to relax at any moment throughout the day.

This can help bring your emotions back into focus. People who practice mantras are also often more compassionate and slower to get angry. This level headedness is a wonderful trait to have in terms of keeping you emotionally sound.

Affirmations Are a Tool for Boosting Inner Strength

Some people think that affirmations and mantras are one in the same, but they’re not. Rather than being a single word or a sound, an affirmation is made up of complete sentences.

These sentences are designed to delve deep into the subconscious mind to refill the well of inner strength. When people practice these sentences, they’re keys that can help the user see what it is that restores them.

When the affirmations are practiced, the subconscious mind recognizes them. Behavior changes takes place based on how the person then decides to live his or her life.

Affirmations influence the people who use them by causing them to react to pleasant or unpleasant situations with a happier outlook. When affirmations are practiced, it allows the person to replenish the inner strength rather than taking from it.

When you connect with the power of the subconscious mind, you can change your life. What the affirmations do first is affect the way that you think. The way that you think about things will be followed by the way that you act.

So if you’re someone who has a situation in your life that has always robbed you of confidence or affected your self-esteem, practicing affirmations can help you change the way that you react because it changes your thought processes.

You’ll be able to break free of the type of thinking that keeps you stuck. Affirmations give you a positive outlook on life, which in turn leads you to feeling happier and more vibrant.

The positivity adds to your inner strength rather than taking from it. You don’t have to carve out huge blocks of time to be able to practice affirmations. You can say them throughout the day to unleash their positive power.

When you first begin to use affirmations, you might encounter some self-resistance because it can be a struggle to change the way that you’ve always thought about things.

But you can press on and use affirmations to help you until it becomes second nature for you. You can use different affirmations depending on what type of inner strength you need to boost.

For example, if you’re struggling in the area of self-doubt and you feel like a failure in what you try to do, then you need to use an affirmation that supports your success.

For that type of affirmation, you would say something like “I can achieve success” or “Success is drawn to me.” Don’t put it in the future by using words like, “I will succeed.”

If you were struggling with feeling sad or not happy with your life, you would use affirmations that affirmed happiness. You would repeat a sentence such as “Happiness dwells within me” or “Happiness is drawn to me.”

You wouldn’t say, “I will become happier.” You want to keep it in the present. By using affirmations to change your subconscious, you can boost the level of your inner strength.

Using Yoga to Boost Inner Strength

Finding a way to boost your inner strength is a lot easier than you might think. One of the ways that you can do this is by practicing yoga. Yoga is a spiritual practice that uses breathing and postures in meditation and relaxation.

It teaches people how to gain inner strength and get rid of stress. You can use it to help you retain a sense of peace. By working to build up a person’s body and mind strength, it works to boost the inner strength.

You might be living your life and feel that you’re doing what you supposed to do but there are times throughout the day when you simply feel so mentally and emotionally drained, it’s hard to muddle through.

Or you might reach the end of the day and feel as if you gave your all to the point where you have nothing left to give - including to yourself. This will quickly drain your inner strength and if you don’t boost it back, you’ll end up experiencing things like fatigue and emotional and physical upsets.

Yoga is a tool that you can use to influence yourself toward being a positive person and positive people are more successful. The reason is because people who have inner strength have a confidence that others don’t often have.

Practicing yoga makes you feel a greater sense of self because when you take part in the poses, your body releases endorphins that affect your mood and give you a boost.

When you practice yoga on a consistent basis, you’ll notice that you feel better physically and emotionally. The benefit of yoga is that it can be practiced anywhere - including at the office.

When you feel that mental and emotional drain and you know that your inner strength needs a boost, you can use yoga to give you back your energy and clarity.

You’ll feel better about yourself and your abilities. There are different types of yoga that you can use. But some of them are better suited for boosting inner strength than others.

There is Ashtanga, Bikram, Iyenga, Vinyasa and Hatha. Of these, Hatha is more often used for the purpose of boosting inner strength because it has the ability to restore balance to the body.

Finding the Right Self-Help Books to Boost Inner Strength

A great tool that you can use to boost your inner strength is a self-help book. You can find a wide selection of them at retail and online stores that are written specifically to guide you toward greater inner strength.

One of the ways that these books can help you is that they teach you the link that self-esteem has with your actions. When you have lower self-esteem, you also have a lack of confidence in your ability as a person.

This lack of confidence bleeds over into how you perform at work and how well you do in your relationships with other people. When you struggle with your inner strength, it can make you feel less happy than you deserve to feel.

By using a self-help book, you can have the power that you need to reach the best level of inner strength. These books will help you be able to pinpoint how you’re sabotaging yourself in different areas of your life and draining your well of inner strength.

You’ll learn about actions that you’re doing that create a well of negativity and keep you trapped in an ongoing cycle of strength drain. When you gain the inner strength balance that you need, you’ll be able to overcome a lack of self-esteem.

You’ll discover that you feel more confident in your relationships and with your job. You’ll also learn to recognize situations and people in your life that act as drains on your attitude - and how you can deal with these individuals.

A self help book can show you how to restore your inner strength through the use of different techniques that teach calmness and restoration. You’ll be able to view things with a clarity that you didn’t have before.

You’ll learn exactly what inner strength is and the issues that can occur in life that can affect your strength. You’ll learn the negative and positive influences that are around and within you that you need either avoid or cultivate.

By using self help books that show you how to boost your inner strength, you’ll gain a stronger sense of self that will lead you to develop a life of accomplishments and happiness that are well within your reach.