Just like a baby sucks her thumb, as an adult you'll want to comfort yourself when things go wrong - and nothing rings truer for victims of narcissistic abuse.
Unfortunately, some habits like drinking, smoking, overeating, or shopping come with a high price tag. When you use them to escape from difficult issues, you postpone finding real solutions, and you may wind up with additional complications like poor health and less money.
On the other hand, making constructive choices can help you face challenges and build your self-confidence. Follow these steps for dealing with tensions and irritations.
How to Soothe Yourself by Changing Your Thinking
1. Accept your feelings. Embracing uncomfortable emotions is the first step in being able to process them. Instead of denying anger or jealousy, you can acknowledge the situation and decide how to address it.
2. Cultivate gratitude. Being grateful instantly brightens your outlook. Count your blessings and express your appreciation.
3. Slow down. Bring racing thoughts under control. Even a few minutes of meditation can clear away mental clutter.
4. Be mindful. Stay in the present moment. Give your full attention to one task at a time. You'll accomplish more.
5. Accentuate the positive. When you evaluate opportunities, pay attention to the potential gains as well as the risks. Adjust your self-talk to reinforce your confidence and motivate you to move ahead.
6. Use mental imagery. Picture yourself lying on a sandy beach or sipping tea in a cozy cafe. Engage your other senses by imagining the related sounds and smells.
7. Follow your faith. Find strength in your spiritual beliefs and practices. Adversity can help you develop insights and remember your purpose.
How to Soothe Yourself by Changing Your Routines
1. Develop a hobby. Activities that create a sense of flow are more relaxing and productive than watching TV. Find pleasure in playing the piano or building a log cabin.
2. Exercise regularly. Moving around reduces physical and mental symptoms of stress. Go for a long walk or play tennis with a friend.
3. Check your posture. Scan your body for tight spots. Stretch out your neck and limbs. Squeeze your muscles together, and then open up to release any anxiety that has been building up. Stand tall, lower your shoulders, and open your chest.
4. Eat more probiotics. Eating a balanced diet makes you more resilient, especially if you put yogurt and miso on the menu. Studies show that foods that promote healthy gut bacteria have a positive effect on your mood.
5. Sleep well. Rest is also essential for your composure. Go to bed and wake up on a consistent schedule. Darken your bedroom and block out background noises with a fan or ear plugs.
6. Connect with others. Build a strong support network. Spend time with family and friends. Make time for sharing laughter and heart-to-heart talks. Ask for help when you're struggling, and take your mind off your own worries by looking for ways to serve others.
7. Listen to music. Music has a powerful effect on how you feel. Cheer yourself up by listening to classical music, show tunes, gospel songs, or your favorite selections. Try Amazon Music Unlimited 30-Day Free Trial
8. Breathe deeply. Using your breath to lower stress is fast and free, and you can do it anywhere. Create a slow, gentle rhythm as you pay attention to the air entering and exiting your nostrils. Gradually extend the time you spend exhaling to carry any disturbing thoughts out of your brain.
Stress is a part of life, but you can protect your health and well-being by the way you respond when things are falling apart. Soothe yourself with calming thoughts and activities that restore your balance and deepen your peace of mind.
What are you getting Dad or Grandpa for Father's Day this year? Every year, Father’s Day rolls around and it’s time to celebrate dads of all kinds – including granddads, expectant dad and stepdads. But it can be really hard to shop for men on this holiday, right?
Between the "guy who has it all" and the dad who is hard to buy for, you might be feeling a little panicked when it comes to choosing the right gift. But don't worry - we've got you covered with this ultimate guide to gift-giving on Father's day 2017!
You want to do something special for the men in your life, but it can be a challenge deciding which gift would be best. And, of course, you have budget considerations, right? So, if you're anything like me, it helps to have a few gift suggestions that will appeal to many different types of men. You’re sure to find something that’s in your price range and make the perfect Father’s Day gift.
You with me? Let's DO this!
From things you can buy and wrap in a flash to homemade items and activities, there’s something for everyone (and every budget!) here. What you have to do is figure out which of these ideas the man in your life would appreciate most!
Father’s Day Gifts You Can Buy
There are many gifts you can purchase to reward a hard working dad. This is the one day of the year when he’s able to be in the spotlight - so hey, let it shine!
Cool Picture Frames for His Desk or Man-Cave
Frames are wonderful gifts for storing family photos. Dads especially like photo frames they can take to the office or keep in a treasured space at home. If you purchase a standard frame, make sure to put a family photo inside.
If Dad is into hunting, fishing, or sports, you can look for a themed frame that reflects his favorite hobbies. Digital frames are another great gift – and men who are into gadgets love them. Upload several photos of the kids with Dad before giving this gift.
We usually think of giving flowers on Mother’s Day, but some men like to receive flowers, too. For Father’s Day you can purchase arrangements with a masculine touch such as a bouquet that looks like a boat or a toy car used as a vase.
Large coffee mugs make great containers for flower arrangements.
You can also choose green plants that will last all year.
Make sure you order ahead of time so that your floral arrangement will arrive on time.
Dads love to get their favorite foods for Father’s Day. Surprise him with a candy bouquet in lieu of flowers. Many men enjoy chocolate covered strawberries or fruit bouquets, too.
You can also purchase a gift card to his favorite restaurant or arrange to bring in his favorite meal that day. Being able to take the day off from cooking after a long week can be a huge relief.
If you prefer to stay home for Father’s Day, you can buy all of the ingredients for his favorite meal and make it for him. He’ll be sure to appreciate your time and efforts to prepare something special.
One great gift idea is to order a special package of Omaha steaks. You can get just the steaks, or add on hot dogs, lobster, and side dishes, too. Or, you could find a company that sends him a monthly gift, like a good coffee or even beer of the month, for example.
If the dad in your household is into grilling, you could opt to give barbecue tools, a new grill, a fun apron, or a selection of great meats for grilling. During the Father’s Day season, these items are readily available.
A gift basket can allow you to give a variety of items all in one special package. Gift baskets can include foods, coffee, beer, wine, gift certificates, and anything else that the man in your life might like.
The best gift baskets have themes. A few themes to consider include:
· Movie Night
· Grill King
· Beers from Around the World
· Sports - such as Golf, Football, or Basketball
· Favorite Snack Foods
· Gourmet Popcorn
· Gourmet Nuts
You can purchase premade gift baskets or put one together yourself using a creative theme and container. He’ll be sure to enjoy uncovering all the fun items you give him.
Men who enjoy hunting are always happy to get accessories to go with their sport. This is a great time to give a luxury item he might not buy for himself, but he’d love to have on his next hunting or fishing trip.
For example, you can purchase heated insoles that will help keep his feet warm during the cold winter months. He might enjoy new fishing lures, a new knife, or a gift card to his favorite outdoor sporting goods store.
You can check in on his existing gear and see if any of it is worn and torn. Hunters are hard on their equipment and gadgets. If you see something that could be replaced, look for a newer model to upgrade him to!
Men also enjoy getting a new keychain for Father’s Day. There are many different types that you can choose. For example:
· Digital photo keychain that has a photo slideshow
· Keychain that doubles as a bottle opener
· Standard frame keychain with photos of the kids or grandkids
· Dad themed key chains with phrases like “I Love My Dad” or “World’s Greatest Dad”
Keychains can be personalized and engraved to make them even more special. This is a wonderful and inexpensive gift that fits any budget. It’s also useful for organizing important keys.
Shirts and Ties
There are a wide variety of clothing options for Father’s Day gifts. The most common gift on this holiday is a tie. There are novelty ties and beautiful silk ties that will enhance his wardrobe.
You can also look for a nice dress shirt to go with a new tie that he can wear to work. If the dad in your life is more casual, T-shirts and golf shirts make great gifts as well.
You can find many novelty T-shirts with phrases about dads and Father’s Day. You can also look for a shirt that he can wear to work or on casual days when he goes out.
While women tend to get jewelry on special holidays, watches are a good choice for men of Father’s Day. There are watches for athletes, casual watches, and dress watches made from precious metals and gemstones.
You can find a watch to meet just about any need or budget. Men can always use another watch to go with their wardrobe. This is a timeless gift (pun absolutely intended!) and your pop will enjoy for years and years.
If he already has a collection of watches, you might consider getting him a nice watch case that showcases his collection with a glass top and leather sides. These organizers help display the watches so he can grab them quickly and store the ones not in use.
There are many other gifts you can get Dad on Father’s day, including:
· Golf equipment
· Collectibles (music, automobile, or sports)
· EReader – like the new Kindle Fire
· Video game gifts
· DVD sets to his favorite shows
Winning Gift Tip: Just listen to what he’s always talking about (sports teams, TV shows, etc.) and try to find a gift that fits his preferences. He’ll love the fact that you’ve picked up on it without him having to put in a request.
Father’s Day Crafts
While store bought gifts are always an option, there’s nothing more personal than something handmade by you or your child for a special dad. These one of a kind gifts will warm his heart and let you know how much you love him and think about him.
Handprint crafts are a wonderful way to freeze a moment of time. Over the years you can see how much your children have grown by looking at the growth from tiny hands to those of a teen and adult.
You can purchase kits to make and decorate a hand imprint in plaster. This can serve as a lifelong memory of a sweet time in your child’s life. Handprints can also be used to create art that looks like animals or to decorate plates.
Making a simple handprint with paint on paper and framing it makes a wonderful gift as well. Handprints are so special because no two are alike. They serve as a reminder of the unique child celebrating his Dad.
You can also make a scrapbook all about the kids and their dad. Allow them to write special messages, include photos, and have them draw pictures of the times they’ve spent with him. This is a one of a kind gift that he’ll love.
Kids can make coupon books to give for Father’s Day. This can include special coupons for doing extra chores, helping their dad with a special project, making his favorite meal or just spending time together.
This is a very inexpensive idea that can be adapted to fit any family. You can hand write the coupons and put them in a booklet or envelope. Then when he’s ready to redeem one, he can take it out of the book and turn it in.
Letter for Expecting Fathers
If you have a man in your life who is about to become a father, you can write a special letter from your unborn baby to him. When writing this letter, think about all of the qualities you think will make him a great dad.
This can be a fun way to let him know he’ll be a father if he doesn’t know yet or to give him a reminder of how much you love him and of the exciting new life changes that are coming.
You might also consider scanning the sonogram pictures and putting them in a digital photo frame so that he can see them ahead of time. The 3D and 4D images that have color are great, too!
Father’s Day Activities
Sometimes the best gift you can give your father is spending time together. Consider giving the gift of an outing that you can enjoy with the dad or with the whole family.
Is there a movie that he’s wanted to see? Why not take him to it and provide him with all of the movie treats he could want? After the movie you can go somewhere to spend time talking about it.
Father’s Day happens right around baseball season. This is the perfect time to take him out to the ballgame. You can go to a major league game or if you’re on a tighter budget try a minor league game.
Hopefully you can attend a game on the actual day, but if not you can always place the tickets in his Father’s Day card.
You should also think about other local attractions. Does he like to play golf? Why not buy him a round at his favorite course and plan to play with him that day?
If he’s interested in cars, look for a local car show that you can attend together. When you present him with an outing that matches his interests it shows you really know him and care about him.
Father’s Day Breakfast and Brunch Ideas
Sharing a meal together is a great way to celebrate any holiday. Moms usually get breakfast in bed, but dads like it, too! Make his favorite breakfast foods and treat him to a breakfast he’ll enjoy.
If you have a big family with many dads, you can also consider hosting a Father’s Day Brunch. Invite the extended family over for a brunch featuring egg dishes, ham, biscuits, or even go with a Mexican themed breakfast - including tortillas and salsa.
Ask guest to bring a side dish and present all the dads with a special gift or card. If you’d rather not have to clean your house and prepare a big meal, you’ll find that many restaurants host special Father’s Day brunches.
This is a great way to share a meal while leaving the cooking and cleaning to someone else. If you decide to go to a restaurant, make sure you call ahead. Some restaurants only take reservations on special days.
You should also ask about the menu. On a busy holiday many restaurants will opt for a buffet or a set menu to accommodate the crowd. You don’t want to get turned away at a restaurant when you’re ready to celebrate.
School's out! Are you hitting the pool or beach yet? If so, definitely grab some sunscreen - we prefer SPF50 - and grab yourself something fun and stylish to get your swim on! Here are our summer faves for 2017!
Though the calendar lists June 21 as the first day of summer, many of us have already begun to hit the beach and soak up the sun and splash in the ocean. Going to the beach means a little rest and relaxation but at the same time, you want to look your best.
You never know who you might run into or who you might meet. But not all of us have model perfect bodies and we need a suit that’s comfortable yet has great coverage. You’ll find that in the Speedo Aquatic Xtra Life Lycra Ultraback Swimsuit.
It’s designed for action and gives a supportive fit whether you’re lying on the sand working on a golden tan or riding out the waves in the water. It’s resistant to the annoying ‘crawl up’ that suits do when they get wet and the lining helps keep you covered.
For those who prefer a suit with a gathered waistline and underwire bra support, the Miraclesuit Women’s Sanibel One Piece Swim Suit fits the bill. The high leg cut and low scoop back are made to flatter the figure and give you confidence that you look great while having fun.
If you like a halter top bathing suit, you’ll find a great one in this Shirred Halter Swimsuit. This swimsuit has a shelf bra for added support. When you want to don a cover up to step off the sand to grab a bottled water or warm up from the breeze blowing off the ocean, you can do it in style with the Alki’i Misses Halter Top Dress.
You can find it in white or black and in sizes ranging from small to large. Because it’s made from lightweight material, you won’t feel bogged down when you’re wearing this over your suit.
Besides a beach cover up, you can choose a sporty and stylish swimdress too. The bandeau Swimdress has a shelf bra as well as an attached panty for water play or simply tanning. This design is also made to fit and flatter larger shapes too. It’s perfect for the getting back into shape after baby days.
No matter what you wear at the beach-a one piece, a bikini, a cover up or a swimdress, some things can sag where you don’t want there to be a sag. For that, you can get Pure Style Girlfriends Women’s Pick Me Up Breast Lift Tape.
Because it’s waterproof, you’ll be able to have that youthful figure no matter how long you play in the water. You can also find this kind of support in the Fashion Forms Bring It Up Breast Lift 3-Pack Accessory.
While you’re out there in the sun, don’t forget to protect your scalp and eyes from the glare of the sun. You don’t want a nasty sunburn on the top of your head and you don’t want to the sun’s rays to affect your vision. So make sure you grab a hat and sunglasses. You’ll be shielded in style with the Red Wide Brim Cotton Floppy Beach Sun Hat.
The stomach is one of the hardest parts to flatten in the body. Everyone wants perfect abs, but it takes works and commitment to get them. You can spend hours at the gym fighting for flatter abs, but if your diet isn’t focused, then you’ll struggle to achieve the results you desire.
Luckily, there are foods you can eat – and some to avoid – that can help you in your endeavor for flat abs.
Let’s look at some general guidelines for healthy meals that will help tone your body and stomach area, along with those foods you’ll want to add more of.
General Food Guidelines
Some foods to avoid for flatter abs:
- Avoid sugar and junk food, such as salty chips and pretzels, as much as possible.
- Alcohol is also high in both calories and sugar, so that’s one to avoid as well.
- It’s also important to shun trans fats and other fats that aren’t healthy. When looking at your food labels, if you see “hydrogenated” fats or oils, put it back. Many labels will say something like “No Trans Fats” right on the front to help you find the products without them.
Food groups to include in your diet for flatter abs:
Focus on fiber. Eating plenty of fruits and vegetables, especially in raw form, will give you the fiber you need to support your goal.
- Stick to natural foods, rather than processed items. Most grocery stores keep the natural foods, such as fruits, veggies, eggs, meat, and dairy, along the edges of the store. You might want to venture into the middle for some minimally processed items, like rice, beans, healthy oils, and spices.
Foods to Add to Your Grocery List
Make these foods a standing order for every week:
- Chili peppers. Chili peppers should be at the top of your grocery list. They’re spicy, can kick up any recipe, and can boost metabolism. The capsaicin in chili peppers may also help you burn fat as you reach for flatter abs.
- The protein in yogurt can keep you full for long periods, so you’re not tempted to eat junk food. Yogurt also has other nutrients that can help you get a flatter stomach: Yogurt contains probiotics that may help your digestive system and reduce belly fat. The calcium in yogurt is also important because it has been linked to flatter abs.
- This white vegetable has sulforaphane, a nutrient that has been linked to lower belly fat because it can reduce fat cells. Cauliflower also has high fiber, so you’ll feel full and have a stronger digestive system.
- Green tea. Green tea is mostly known for its powerful antioxidants, but it also has fat fighting power. Green tea has been shown in studies to promote a higher metabolism. It can also give you more energy, so you can finish your workouts to get flatter abs.
Consider Your Entire Diet
Although adding these specific foods will help you get a flatter stomach, it’s important to look at your overall diet for best results.
Simply adding more yogurt or green tea isn’t enough if your meal plans aren’t healthy. Your body needs nutritional support to fight fat. Include protein, carbs, and healthy fats at each meal. Ensure you’re getting enough vitamins and minerals from your food and drinks.
For best results, plan your meals ahead of time. This will help you avoid grabbing items from vending machines or fast food that doesn’t support your goal.
Give yourself a fighting chance! Follow these tips for getting flatter abs and making your workouts more meaningful.
We all have too many priorities and too little time to do them justice. You can create more free time in your life by asking yourself a few questions. Questions are powerful, because they focus your attention and generate solutions.
You just have to ask the right questions!
Ask yourself these questions and create more space in your life:
- What are my three greatest distractions? The most common distractions and time wasters are often electronic in nature. Your cell phone, laptop, and the television can leave you wondering where the time went. Other distractions might include an annoying neighbor, an organization that requires too much of your time, or frequent headaches.
- Think of ways to eliminate or minimize these distractions and spend your time in a more meaningful way.
- Am I making the best use of the free time I already have available? When you do have free time, how do you use it? Consider both the small blocks of time you have available throughout the day and the larger segments of time that you have free.
- If you’re waiting for a meeting to start, how do you use that time?
- Are you using your time in the car as productively as possible? You could use the time to make phone calls or listen to educational programs.
- Examine all the spare time you have each day and resolve to use it more productively.
- What are the three greatest distractions I have at work? An overly chatty cubicle mate might be neutralized with headphones. You can turn off the ringer on your phone. Think of the distractions you face and create solutions.
- What are my priorities? Make a list of your work and personal priorities. You can’t focus your time if you’re unaware of your priorities. You can focus your attention by reminding yourself of your priorities each day.
- What are the optional activities in my life? Make a list of everything you do in your life that’s optional – from watching TV to playing softball on the weekends. Some of those activities add to your life in meaningful ways, while others do not. Which of those activities are you willing to give up to create more space in your life?
- How can I simplify my life? How many blogs, magazine subscriptions, and podcasts do you follow? Are they all worth the time?
- How often do you check your email? Is that more often than necessary?
- Can you hire someone to mow your grass or clean your home?
- Can you get rid of a few possessions that are taking up time and space in your life?
- What would I do if I had more free time? How would you spend that time? With whom would you spend it? If you can identify how you want to spend your free time, you might become more motivated to create more free time in your life.
Are you lacking enough time to enjoy your life? It’s time to set priorities and reduce distractions.
Decide what is most important to you. Then determine how you’re using your time inefficiently. Ask yourself the important questions that will allow you to make meaningful changes. Free up your time for your priorities. You’ll be glad you did!