Self Love Sunday: Calming Your Mind and Boosting Your Soul

Self Love Sunday: Calming Your Mind and Boosting Your Soul


My self-talk promotes confidence and courage.

7 Easy Tricks to Calm Your Mind Without Meditation

Meditation is a powerful tool, but it’s not the only way to calm your mind. Consider these tricks to find peace and inner calmness.

Try these ideas the next time you want to calm your mind and feel better:

1. Breathe. The simple act of breathing can help you calm down quickly and reduce anxiety. Breathing can help you focus on the moment and forget your worries. A few deep breaths help relax your muscles as your cells receive the extra oxygen.

○ Learn simple breathing exercises or just breathe deeply.

2. Show gratitude. By showing gratitude, you can change your focus and find peace. Being thankful and saying it can help you see the positive things that are around you.

○ Send an email, talk on the phone, or write a note to someone that you would like to thank.

○ When stopping and giving thanks, you’re also living in the present moment. When your mind is on the present moment, there’s no room for worrying about the future or regretting your past.

3. Smile. How often do you smile during the day? Do you smile at strangers as well as friends?

○ Smiling can instantly boost your mood. It can help relax the body and mind, help the immune system, and reduce stress.

○ Research published in the journal Psychological Science shows that even a fake smile can have a positive effect on the body. The act of smiling positively affects the brain.

4. Go for a hike or enjoy nature. If meditation doesn’t appeal to you because it involves sitting, then go for a hike or find another way to enjoy nature. Explore a park, trail, or other natural area near you.

○ Notice the sounds, smells, and visuals in front of you as you walk.

○ Nature can have a soothing impact on the brain and body.

5. Turn off your phone and other devices. Constant communication and connection can make it hard to have a calm mind. Turn off your phones, tablets, computers and other devices to find peace.

○ By disconnecting from technology for brief periods of time, you’ll be able to relax.

6. Play with your pet. If you’re lucky to have a dog, cat, or other animal, play with them to find calmness. Research shows that pets can help people stay calm and relax.

○ Try petting your dog or cat for an extended period of time. Only focus on them and don’t think about other issues.

○ Consider taking your pet for a walk and getting exercise at the same time.

7. Do some type of manual labor. Sometimes, manual labor such as cleaning the house or mowing the lawn can help calm the mind. Exercise can boost brain chemicals that make you happy.

○ Manual labor can help you forget issues by forcing you to focus on completing the tasks.

○ Look for activities that need to be done at home or at work. Do the dishes, vacuum, clean out closets, or organize cabinets. Sort the garage or attic, try gardening, or pull weeds. If you’re finished with tasks at home, reach out to friends and neighbors to help them.

Although meditation can be important, it’s not the only way to stay calm. Consider trying other methods and experimenting until you find the ones that work best for you.

The closest person to me is me. I know my strengths and uncertainties. When I talk to myself, I use words that uplift me and build my strength.

I relish in telling myself that I am a winner. It gives me a dose of encouragement for those situations where I am unsure of my ability to conquer.

Going for job interviews is intimidating, but when I remind myself that I am good enough, I lose all inhibitions and am able to sell myself as the ideal candidate. I avoid feeling inadequate. I dig deep into my soul and identify the things of true beauty there.

I am a symbol of inner beauty. Showing myself as an honest and caring person is enough to prove my worth. I close the door on anyone who overlooks those traits in search of outer beauty.

When I tell myself something positive for long enough, I end up believing it. Although I sometimes lack the proof of my ability, I move forward in faith. I know that I am able to develop whatever skills I desire.

Today, my self-talk is uplifting and empowering. My emphasis each day is to strengthen my spirit so that I remain willing to take on challenges. Anything in life is attainable when I believe in myself.

Self-Reflection Questions:

1. What do I tell myself when I am feeling discouraged?
2. How effective are meditation and deep breathing when I feel nervous?
3. When do I most need courage?

Know How They Feel INSTANTLY: 57 Body Language Secrets Anyone Can Learn

Know How They Feel INSTANTLY: 57 Body Language Secrets Anyone Can Learn

Reading body language is the best way to really understand people - it's the non-verbal communication that helps you detect lies and figure out what people are REALLY saying!

Body Language is pretty interesting - and very telling. I've been studying people for years - and I've long been fascinated by body language and facial expressions, because they so clearly let me know what people are thinking and feeling - even without them saying a word! Fact is that anyone can learn a lot about what kind of person you are and what you are thinking and feeling. Whether or not they make eye contact, and all sorts of other little tells are among just a few of the psychology and the secrets of body language I'll be sharing with you today.

How do they do this? By studying your body language. The term body language refers to the messages you send out with your body gestures and facial expressions.

Some body language experts claim that only about 7% of our messages to other people are communicated through the words we speak. The rest of our messages are conveyed through our body language, tone of voice, and facial expressions.

During your entire life you have been sending messages to others through your posture, gestures, and facial expressions.

When you were an infant, before you learned to speak, people were peering into your little baby face, looking at your gestures, and listening to your little cries and gurgles, trying to decipher what kind of mood you were in, and what you were trying to say.

And you have been reacting to the body language, voice tone, and facial expressions of the people around you all your life, even though you may not have been consciously aware of it.

What sorts of messages are you conveying to others with your body language? Does your body language encourage other people to approach you? Or do you subconsciously warn them to stay away?

In this video, I'll fill you in on how to read people like a book with 57 body language examples, how to recognize them and what they mean.

How to Read People Like a Book: 57 Body Language Examples for Empaths - Body Language 101

So, You’ve Left Your Narcissist: Emotional Healing After Abuse

So, You’ve Left Your Narcissist: Emotional Healing After Abuse

The Link Between Emotion and Energy

If you want to start feeling more energetic and getting more done then it is important to think about the way you are managing your emotion. Emotion and energy levels are intimately linked and understanding this connection is the key for many people who want to feel more awake and productive.

Why Emotion Affects Energy

The brain is essentially a large web of connected neurons which psychologists call the 'connectome'. This connectome fires as we experience various things in the world or as we remember certain things and this then creates a variety of different subjective experiences for us.

At the same time though, our brain's unconscious processes pay close attention to the nature of what we're focused on and then produce neurotransmitters accordingly. If what you're seeing is important then your brain will produce things like dopamine which make us more motivated and help us to remember things better. If what we're seeing makes us scared and is at all associated with pain or bad things happening, we'll produce norepinephrine (adrenaline) and become more focused and anxious.

These same things then in turn affect energy levels. When we're alert and focused, this triggers changes in the sympathetic nervous system that increase our heartrate, our circulation and muscle tone all to make us more switched on and productive.

On the other hand, when something seems dull and uninteresting, our brain tells us we're safe and able to go back to relaxing. Thus it will produce GABA and melatonin which settle us down and make us sleep.

The Optimum Emotional State for Energy

Boredom then is absolutely fatal for energy levels. If you find your energy flagging one of the very best things you can possibly do is to switch up your environment or make the task you're performing more interesting. This will immediately tell your brain something interesting is going on and you'll become more alert and awake again.

This is also why depression and sadness are so bad for your energy levels. When you're depressed you struggle to be interested in anything or to care about anything. By doing something that makes you happy you can produce serotonin and oxytocin which will make you more positive and interested again. This is why spending time with friends, laughing or even exercising are so energizing.

Understand this link and change the way you perceive certain events and you can raise your energy levels throughout the day!

Setting Up Your Environment for a Better Self-Image

Our environment dictates how we will behave. If we live in a bad neighborhood, we will always be on the watch for crime. Crime can happen in good neighborhoods too, but the chances are less. Environment plays an important role when trying to set up a positive self-image. The wrong settings will make it much harder to accomplish. Use the following to create an environment that raises your chances of success.

Meditation

Although more of a mental environment setting, meditation can be a great way to clear your mind, focus on good mental images, and reduce stress. The benefits of meditation are numerous. For instance, people who meditate reduce their risk of disease. They tend to be less depressed and have less anxiety. But perhaps one of the most important benefits of meditation is control of mind. This is a crucial aspect of maintaining a positive self-image. Your mind is clearer, your memory is better, and you can focus more easily.

Avoid Negative People

If you are constantly surrounded by negative people, it is going to be difficult not to be sucked into that negativity. The best solution for this is to avoid these people altogether. This may be easier said than done when you have no choice but to deal with them, sometimes on a daily basis. But you have to do your best in minimizing contact with these people.

Increase Exposure to Positive People

If you cannot avoid negative people, try increasing your exposure to positive people, which you should do anyway. Positive people are easier to hang out with. They will be helpful to you and will make you happier overall. They can also point out when you are making negative statements and help you adjust back to positive ones. Their positivity becomes addictive.

Get Your Financial Situation in Order

One of the biggest stresses in life comes from not having your financial situation in order. Take the steps necessary to make sure that this is not an issue with your life. If it means working more hours or taking on a second job, that is what you should consider. Keep in mind that when you gain a more positive self-image, your work situation and prospects for employment are going to improve. So you will not have to work extra hours for any extended period.

Setting up the foundation that is the most optimal for creating a positive self-image will go a long way in helping you provide a better life for you and your family.

Negative Habits and a Positive Outlook

We’ve all been unhappy at one time or another. Yet, when you look back at an unhappy time in your life, did you really want to be there? Did you actually want to be unhappy? You see, unhappy people do not want to be unhappy. They are just the same as successful people. They want to achieve goals and get to where they want to be. They want to make their dreams a reality and change their own personal circumstance in the process. In short, unhappy people want to be happy. So, why aren’t they?

The main reason is that unhappiness produces stressful and unhappy emotions. This stress and these emotions combine to cause unhappy people to take actions that are designed to keep them stuck in the very situation that makes them unhappy. They actually begin to develop the habit of being unhappy. Yes, you read that correctly. Unhappiness can be a habit. So can under productivity. So can failure. Any negative emotion can and will become habitual if experienced long enough. Negative thoughts produce negative actions which cause negative results. These negative results, in turn, produce more negative thoughts that reinforce the process. The end result is a habitual and cyclical negativity.

Habits occur because the brain loves to be economical. You see, thinking about something costs calories. Habitual behavior is largely unthinking behavior. So, when habits form, the brain becomes more efficient in how it uses energy. This is a biological imperative that developed back in the days when we hunted and gathered food that was scarce. The more you can “autopilot” behavior, the less likely it is that you’re going to starve.

Breaking negative habitual behaviors isn’t hard if you approach the problem correctly. The first step is to recognize the negative behavior for what it is. Remember, habits are ingrained, unthinking behaviors. Many times, people with bad habits don’t know they have them. To find a negative habit, you have to look for repetitive actions. Are there things you do, time and time again, that always turn our badly? There’s your negative habitual behavior.

Once you identify the bad habit, you begin to take conscious steps to modify the negative behavior. This means that you act contrary to the way you usually act under the circumstances. In other words, if you usually turn right in a given situation, you force yourself to turn left. You do the opposite of what it is you usually do. The end result is that you begin to break the habitual behavior that has been causing you so much trouble.

Can You Achieve Happiness by Faking It?

Have you ever put a smile on your face when you just weren’t feeling it? It’s hard to do, but the results are much better than if you frown. There are events and periods of time that truly test our strength and threaten to destroy the happiness that took so long to find.

Although the word, “fake” implies that you’re being deceitful, it may be a good tactic to use when you’re feeling down and out and need a boost to your well-being.

Most of us aren’t comfortable with not telling the truth, so faking happiness may not appeal to you at first. But, going through the day with a positive outlook – even though you may feel the opposite – can actually bring feelings of happiness.

It could be because of the way others react toward your demeanor. If you’re sad and downcast, others will treat you differently than if you approach them smiling and self-confident.

Several phrases that have developed over time seem to validate faking happiness to achieve it. “Grin and bear it,” and “Turn your smile upside down,” are just a couple of cliché phrases that indicate you should smile when you don’t really feel it – but eventually the feelings will be real.

Dozens of studies have been performed on the subject of happiness. One telling study had persons holding a pencil in their teeth causing them to smile – while other persons held the pencil with their lips, mimicking a frown.

Then, both groups were asked to look at cartoons. Those with the fake smiles rated the cartoons much funnier than those with frowns, indicating that even fake smiles can cause a higher level of happiness.

A recent test on those whose abilities to frown were impaired by Botox injections were happier than those who could frown easily. That study also indicates that even a fake smile is better than none at all.

Those who lack confidence are sometimes told by counselors and life coaches to fake self-esteem and confidence – just to see how it feels. Those who act more confidently than they feel are better able to project confidence to others.

Know that you don’t need to be happy all the time. Having periods of being unhappy can better help you focus on what needs to be changed in your life so you can recognize happiness when you do find it.

Finding a “happy balance” is a better way to pursue happiness and help you cope with anything that comes your way. By recognizing the emotions you’re feeling, you’ll become much better at coping with them.

How to Deal With a Difficult Emotion Using Mindfulness

Mindfulness has a great many uses and is often prescribed by self-help gurus, doctors, writers and others as a tool anyone can use to improve their mental health.

Often this focusses on the long-term benefits of being more present and aware. At the same time though, mindfulness can also be used like a scalpel to deal with more acute problems. Here we will look at how it can be leveraged for instance to tackle specific emotions as they arise.

Turning Towards Emotions

Normally when we experience negative emotions, we react either by trying to ‘fight them’ or by trying to suppress them. This can be described as almost ‘turning away’ from our emotions to try and deny them their power over us.

Unfortunately, this ultimately tends to result in our becoming more stressed or upset as the emotions bubble under the surface, or as we frustrate ourselves in trying to fight them.

Instead though, mindfulness teaches us to turn towards our emotions. What this means, is that you are going to listen to the thoughts and feelings you’re experiencing and then simply acknowledge them. Now you say ‘I am stressed’, ‘I am embarrassed’ or ‘I am upset’. Don’t be ashamed or upset that emotion exists but simply recognize that you are currently in that state.

People get upset sometimes. People get angry sometimes. But if you’re simply aware of your condition, then you can be aware that perhaps the thoughts you’re thinking aren’t completely objective. What’s more, you should keep hold of the knowledge that emotions aren’t permanent. In other words, you’re feeling angry right now and as such your thoughts shouldn’t be taken too seriously. But in a few hours, you will likely feel better and then the world will seem like a brighter place again.

This creates a subtle but powerful shift. No longer is the world a terrible place and thus you are upset, now you are upset and thus the world seems like a terrible place. The difference is that you now know that belief is not true.

Debriefing

What’s more, being aware and accepting of your emotions in this way will allow you to assess them in a kind of ‘debriefing’ and to look at what triggered them, how you dealt with them and what they made you think and do. The more you break down and intellectualize your emotions, the more you will find you gain control over them.

 

The Impact of Lifestyle Choices on Short-Term Memory Loss

The Impact of Lifestyle Choices on Short-Term Memory Loss

Short-term memory loss can be a serious issue, and it’s not always easy to determine the exact cause. For survivors of narcissistic abuse, it can be a result of C-PTSD, but in any case, it's really difficult to deal with. 

Although several medical conditions can affect memory, there are other things that also influence the brain. Lifestyle choices can have a big impact on short-term memory loss.

Consider these common causes of short-term memory loss:

1. Anxiety and stress. When you’re worried all of the time, it’s harder to remember things. Both anxiety and stress can adversely affect your short-term memory.

  • ○ Research studies show that stress can increase cortisol levels in the body, and this can affect brain function, including memory.
  • ○ When you’re focused on things that cause you stress or anxiety, it’s more difficult to remember important tasks, names, or events. Your mind isn’t designed for multi-tasking, so these things can affect your memory.
  • ○ Exercise and relaxation techniques help reduce stress and anxiety. Try meditation, yoga, going for a walk in natural surroundings, or participating in sports on a regular basis.

2. Not sleeping enough. Sleep is a vital component of brain function. The lack of sleep can have serious consequences for the body and mind.

  • ○ When you don’t get enough sleep, it’s harder to remember things or pay attention during the day. In addition, your cells can’t restore themselves and heal. This affects your brain and other parts of the body.
  • ○ Experts recommend getting at least seven or more hours of sleep per night.

3. Poor diet that lacks essential vitamins and minerals. Your brain needs food just like your body. A poor diet can affect your short-term memory. If you’re not eating enough or only eating junk food, your short-term memory suffers.

  • ○ Researchers have found that vitamin B6 and others are important for the brain.
  • ○ A high-fat diet with fast food, chips, and fried food can hurt the brain.
  • ○ Switching to a nutrient-rich diet with whole foods, fruits, and vegetables can help turn diet-induced memory loss around.

4. Smoking and alcohol. Even a small amount of nicotine can affect the brain and body. Research shows that smoking can affect brain cells. Cigarettes and cigars affect the lungs and heart, so less oxygen gets to the brain.

  • ○ Alcohol can also affect short-term memory and judgment.
  • ○ Try to avoid smoking and alcohol to enhance your memory.

5. Loud music. You’ve probably heard that listening to loud music can damage the ears and hearing, but are you aware of its impact on short-term memory?

  • ○ Several studies have found that constantly listening to loud music can interfere with how the brain recognizes normal sounds. The normal brain processes are interrupted, so it’s harder to remember things.
  • ○ Loud music can actually damage the nerves in the brain.
  • ○ This doesn’t mean you should stop listening to music. In fact, some classical music helps boost brain activity. The key is to avoid playing any type of music extremely loudly.
  • ○ If your friends or family members are complaining about the noise, this means it’s time to turn it down.

6. Not getting enough vitamin D. Vitamin D is responsible for multiple body functions, and memory is one of the ones that is affected. The lack of vitamin D in the body can lead to cognitive or thinking issues.

  • ○ To increase your vitamin D levels, spend more time in the sunlight, eat vitamin D rich foods, or take supplements with vitamin D.

If you suffer from short-term memory loss, see your doctor to determine if a medical reason is behind it. In any case, there may be lifestyle changes you can make to sharpen your memory.

The Summit is Coming!

The Summit is Coming!

I'm so excited to present to you the Life Makeover Summit, beginning on September 7 and going through Sept 14. Grab your FREE Pass and check it all out right here: LifeMakeover.org