You may know a few aggressive people who seem to do well for themselves, but they could be doing even better. Aggressiveness works, to a point, because most people avoid confrontation. However, confrontational people are disliked and suffer in many other ways.
Aggressive people often find themselves alone, disrespected, and unable to reach the highest levels of success.
If you've considered adopting an aggressive personality, you might want to reconsider. There are better options.
Consider these disadvantages of being too aggressive:
1. You show little respect for others and receive little respect in return. Aggressiveness ignores the rights and interests of others. The message is clear: your needs are more important than those of anyone else. As you can imagine, people aren't thrilled when faced with an aggressive person. They may fear him, but they certainly don't respect him.
2. Your relationships suffer. Your personal relationships are limited to those that lack self-esteem. Anyone else will avoid you as much as possible. At work, you won't be able to trust anyone. When the only person that matters to you is yourself, you don't matter to anyone else. Everything in life is better when your relationships are thriving.
3. Your self-esteem suffers. Down deep, aggressive people believe they can't be successful any other way. The only way they believe they can compete is to steamroll the competition. It's hard to feel good about yourself when you're treating others poorly. If aggressive behavior appeals to you, ask yourself why. How would you rate your self-esteem, Do you think being aggressive would be as attractive to you if your self-esteem were higher, Do the aggressive people you know have high self-esteem,
4. Aggressiveness hurts your progress in the long-term. Aggressiveness can be very effective in the short-term, but hinders your long-term progress. You don't get the support you need to ride to the highest levels. Give yourself all the help you can get by avoiding overly aggressive behavior.
5. You'll be alone. Aggressive people struggle to create and maintain meaningful personal and professional relationships. There aren't too many people that spend time with aggressive people by choice.
6. You fail to develop other skills. When aggression works for you, you fail to develop the other skills necessary to succeed in life and in relationships. You become a sort of "one trick pony." Think about the aggressive people you know. They're aggressive in most, if not all, situations. Now consider how others feel about them, too.
7. Others will attempt to derail your efforts. Life is easier when others are willing to help you. When you're aggressive, most people secretly want you to fail. Some are bold enough to make it a point to get in your way. Isn't life tough enough without having others intentionally sabotaging your efforts, Avoid making enemies.
Assertiveness is a positive and more beneficial option than aggressiveness. Assertiveness is viewed as a confident and agreeable trait. To be assertive, give your opinions, work constructively with others, and practice living a life of integrity. It's also important to communicate clearly, directly, and to have excellent listening skills.
Assertiveness requires more skill than aggression, but the results are more pleasing and less limited over the long haul.
Aggressiveness has multiple disadvantages. You're ultimately forced to take on the world alone. No one wants to help you or spend time with you. Those around you resent you, even if you manage to get your way. Consider a more assertive approach in your life. You'll be more respected, liked, and admired.
Your self-image is the way you view yourself. You might view yourself as a parent, construction worker, friend, blonde, sports fan, intelligent, impatient, and middle-aged. But you're more than your career, gender, and age. You're more than your parents' opinion.
You're a unique person with nuances that are unique to you!
When who you are aligns with what you do, you're living authentically. But most of us view ourselves as one way and live another. Authentic people act honestly and congruently.
The benefits of this congruency are enormous: success, self-esteem, respect from others, and inner peace.
Those that live lives misaligned with their values, beliefs, and attitudes suffer from more anxiety, guilt, and shame. It might seem easier to live up to the expectations of others in the short-term, but the long-term costs are significant.
Follow these steps to determine your true self and live life on your terms:
1. Identify your core values. An authentic self-image is one that is aligned with your values. By knowing your values, you'll gain an understanding of what is important to you. Once you're aware of your values, you can build a self-image and life that are more meaningful and enjoyable. Make a list of your values. Create a long list and include everything that you think applies to you. Then, reduce your list to the ten values that are most important to you. You might struggle to narrow your list to just ten, but ten values are plenty.
2. Determine if you have any conflicts. For example, you might say that adventure and freedom are two of your most important values, but what if you also strongly favor responsibility and security, Those values could be in conflict.
When you're faced with an inner conflict, you're likely to shut down and do nothing. If you've ever been paralyzed while making a decision, it's possible your values were in conflict. Think back to when you've struggled to make a decision and see if it's true.
Do you have any values listed that aren't really priorities for you, We often carry around perspectives instilled by our parents. Here's a newsflash: they may have been wrong. Take the time to determine your values for yourself. Disregard what society says you should value. You're an individual.
3. Create an action plan for each value. Imagine one of your values is frugality. You could create a budget and savings plan that incorporates that value. You might plan to start clipping coupons, visit less expensive stores, and search for free entertainment options available on the weekends.
4. Make a list of activities you enjoy that are in alignment with your values. For example, if generosity is a priority, you could find an enjoyable way to spend your time helping others. If health is a value you cherish, you could join a soccer team or a yoga class. Find your favorite sport and participate.
5. Evaluate yourself at the end of each day. Think about the instances when you failed to live according to your values. Likewise, contemplate the times you were able to live according to your values and self-image, particularly when doing so was challenging.
Create a self-image that is in alignment with your values. First, it is necessary to identify and choose your values. Next, construct a life that allows you to live those values consistently and to thrive. Authenticity eliminates many of the common emotional ailments in life, but it's not always the easiest choice.
Be bold enough to choose the person you want to become and live accordingly. The benefits are enormous. What are your values,
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