When you've been through a toxic relationship with an abusive narcissist, chances are that you find yourself feeling really isolated - during and after the relationship.

At first, you might not mind at all - but once you go through the hard parts of the healing process, you might feel like you're ready to reinvent yourself - to reinvigorate your social life. Maybe rebuild your inner circle!

Does this sound like you?

Are You Ready for More Friends? Check out my new course on how to revamp your social life!

Choosing Your Friends Based on a Mindful Approach

Friends can enrich our lives. They can help us be better people. But having the wrong kind of friends can be detrimental to your emotional well-being. If you choose friends who treat others unkindly, that can create a negative space in your life.

The old saying that birds of a feather flock together means that you will become like the company that you keep. What you want to have is the kind of friends who will be there for you.

They’ll be happy for you when you have something to celebrate. They’ll hurt with you when something hurts you. They’ll be there for you through the ups as well as the downs of life.

You want friends who enrich or add to your life rather than ones who make it worse and cause a drain on your emotions. By using mindfulness, you can choose the kind of friends that are healthy to have in your life.

These will be people who will be open and honest with communication and there will be freedom between the two of you to speak truthfully. You’ll find that when you choose friends mindfully, you’ll have people in your life that you can engage with and even when you disagree, it will be a positive experience.

Mindfulness can help you attract the right people into your life that can become lifelong friends. It all begins with your focus. Mindfulness teaches you to keep your focus on the positive aspects of other people rather than on their faults.

When you focus on the positive thoughts you can have toward others, you get back positive responses from other people. By keeping your mind on what’s good about other people, it affects how you feel about them, you perceive them in a different way and it shows in your attitude toward them.

Mindfulness teaches you to reject the negative thoughts about others and to keep your mind focused on what you like about the person. Even in the best of friendships, there can be disagreements and hurt feelings.

Mindfulness can help you choose friends wisely and then nurture the relationships once they’re in your life. You’re never going to find a perfect circle of friends. Each person in your friendship circle is going to have traits that will bother you.

They may not react to things in the way that you would. Mindfulness teaches you to release the judgmental thoughts toward others and instead see them just as you are - flawed or imperfect, yet worthy of love and friendship.

Mindfulness can give you the wisdom to help you choose friends that can create a give and take relationship - rather than a one sided friendship where someone does all of the giving while the other person does all of the taking.

When you practice mindfulness, it makes you become the kind of person who attracts good friends, the kind that everyone wants to have.

Are You Ready for More Friends? Check out my new course on how to revamp your social life!

 

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