"Always forgive your enemies - nothing annoys them so much." ~Oscar Wilde
When was the last time someone really pissed you off, hurt your feelings or shocked you (in a negative way) with their behavior?
People can be cruel--let's face it, some of them are downright assholes who bring a serious element of toxicity into your life. They say and do the meanest, most damaging things. I have been personally shocked on more than one occasion at the blatant rudeness of some people.
(This is especially the case when we're talking about narcissists!)
When it happens to you...
Having been a victim of unkind treatment, you're probably reeling with anger. You feel like forgiveness is the least suitable response you can give.
Surprisingly, however, forgiveness is the quickest and most lasting way to get over the anger and hurt! But how can you just forgive someone who has hurt you so?
Achieve true forgiveness and gain peace with these approaches:
Confront the issue. It's very easy to want to block negative situations out of your consciousness, but that approach may be causing more anger than you know!
- Take a hard look at the issue. Say aloud, "This happened to me." Doing that may cause some of the feelings to resurface. But when you're done crying, you'll likely be free from tears going forward.
What happened was a thing of the past. It happened, and you're still here to tell the tale. Is it really worth affecting your peace of mind? It's probably time to move on with your life!
Consider your involvement. Perhaps you didn’t consciously trigger a reaction from the other person. But there could very well be something that affected them. They just chose to address it in an unhealthy and unhelpful way!
- It's really not about playing the blame game. One human being has no right to offend or hurt another. If you were offended, take a look in the mirror before deciding how to deal with it. You'll likely recall scenarios where you may have wronged someone as well!
Wear the offender's shoes. Consider how it must feel for the person who now realizes that they hurt you considerably. After the initial emotion passes, they start to feel regret for their actions.
- It's always a good idea to try and switch roles. See it from their viewpoint. If you're yearning for someone's forgiveness, you'll likely rejoice when you finally get it.
Consider the impact of anger on your life. When you hold on to the anger and resentment, it starts to eat away at you. Whether or not you know it, your happiness ends up being a fraction of what it could be. Anger negatively affects your quality of life!
- Do you find yourself being short-tempered with loved ones and friends? You may feel your reaction is justified. But if you think about it, you might see that you overreacted.
- Take some time to consider why you’re so angry or maybe sad. Grudges almost always bring and sustain negative emotions that can affect you long-term.
Once you try these approaches, you'll experience the benefits of forgiving those who offended you. You’ll see how useless it is to allow the negative emotions of holding on to your hurts to drag down your quality of life. In fact, you’ll likely want to go back and forgive everyone who has ever hurt you!
Learn to freely forgive others and give your mind the rest it deserves for a peaceful, truly happy life.