If you put a frog in a pot of boiling water, he’s going to try and jump out immediately – because that water HURTS and he instinctively recognizes the danger. Right?
But if you took that same frog and you stuck him in a pot of tepid water, he’d think it was all good at first. He’d probably get comfortable and start doing some fun little froggy kicks in the new “pool.”
Now, if you slowly heated the temperature up and it gradually reached a boiling point, he’s probably relax even more, thinking how lucky he was to land in this awesome little frog spa situation.
But as just as that poor frog got used to the heat – he’d find himself chopped up on a plate before he knew what hit him.
It’s the same deal with toxic relationships.
When you first meet a narcissist, you find yourself feeling very comfortable – oddly so, and fast – and that’s because the narcissist knows exactly how to draw in an unsuspecting victim.
He love-bombs you, puts you up on that seemingly un-tippable pedestal, but the truth is that it’s all an illusion – and by now, you’ve already found yourself being scalded by the proverbial boiling water.
Like the frog who is slowly cooked to death, a narcissist will slowly rob you of your personal truth. Before you know it, you’ll find yourself feeling empty, alone and sort of “dead inside.”
How do you know you’re dealing with a narcissist?
Check out this article if you’re currently dating someone you suspect is a narcissist. If you’re married, take a look at this one. If you’re a single mom who has left a relationship with a narcissist, check out this article.
What do you do if you’re dealing with a narcissist in a relationship?
You’ve only got a couple of options. Either learn to live with it, or get out and go no contact. If he’s currently abusing you physically or sexually, you’ve only got ONE – get out now. (If that’s the case, stop reading and click here to get some immediate help.)
Need help with recovery from narcissistic abuse in relationships, or with rediscovering yourself after you’ve left a narcissist? Check out this resources page, packed with free tools and information. Or, take my free 5-day fear-busting e-course here. You can also get my books on narcissism and narcissistic abuse recovery at BooksAngieWrote.com (all under $5).
Are you involved with a narcissist, or have you been in the past? Can you see how the frog analogy applies to these kinds of relationships? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments section.