What does real love feel like? Is love even definable? Can you put a single definition of love on paper? Maybe not. Dictionaries define it as “an intense feeling of deep affection.”
But we can have an intense feeling of deep affection for someone who doesn’t feel the same way about us, so in my opinion, that’s not real love.
A lot of us think we want “real love,” but most of us can’t even really define the word effectively. After all, we can liken describing love to describing color – you can’t really “get it” unless you’ve felt it.
Love isn’t just experienced with your logical mind, and yet your logical mind is what attempts to define it. Real love is the result of your intention to love – but it’s very different from your intention to BE loved. Real love is something we “are” rather than something we “get” or share. That’s why it’s so confusing.
Maybe a better definition is that love is a feeling that expresses itself through action and acts of service. It’s what we do, and our intention behind it. It’s not the need for control, or security, and it’s not jealousy. It’s mutual trust, mutual respect, and deep, lasting friendship. It’s finding beauty in one another even in the darkest times in our lives, and loving one another even when it feels hard.
Relationships are difficult. But when we can commit to one another for life, bringing in the deepest parts of ourselves (the good, the bad, and the ugly) – and then accept one another, flaws and all, we can find love. Avoid bad dating relationships, difficult marriages, and inevitable divorce with this advice.