“To change ourselves effectively, we first had to change our perceptions.” ― Stephen R. Covey
You know what I’m talking about? Have you felt this way before? Personally, I’ve been there more times than I’d like to admit, but since I decided to change my life several years ago, I’ve found a whole new way to go about it.
Change your mind to change your life.
So, here’s the deal. We know that we’ve got to change our minds to change our lives, and we understand that means we’ve got to keep our thoughts, minds and general vibe toward the positive side of things most of the time, at least if we want to manifest the lives we really want and deserve. Right?
But what happens when we’ve got difficult people in our day-to-day lives? They can make us feel crazy – and if we’re not careful, their negativity can infect us like a disease.
When you’re dealing with this kind of energy on a daily basis, it’s really easy to fall into the current and find yourself acting in kind. But when you do, you might also notice an additional (much more painful) side effect – your life follows suit. Everything that is happening in your life right now is something you’ve manifested.
So how do you manage to maintain the positive, grateful perspective you really need in order to have the life you want when someone or something is causing you a lot of stress?
Let’s start here. Try these simple life hacks to help you keep your positive attitude in check in the face of negative people.
Let me ask you something. How well would you say that you handle challenges?
With the right perspective, any situation can be handled effectively – and with minimal drama. Learning to direct your thoughts and attention are valuable assets during the hard or stressful times in your life.
Maintaining a positive attitude provides the best opportunity to find a solution to literally any problem you’re dealing with. If you’re forced to deal with a negative situation, why not do it with a smile? It will only make life better.
Try these strategies to keep a level head when it feels likeeverything is going wrong.
1. Learn your lesson (in a good way)! Challenging times can be excellent learning opportunities. There’s a lesson in there somewhere, but you must look for it. At the very least, ask yourself how you can prevent a similar situation from happening again. Imagine how great life would be if you never repeated the same mistake twice.
2. Always expect the best – because you get what you expect. When something goes wrong, we often jump ten steps ahead and foresee the worst possible outcome. Avoid letting your emotions get the best of you. Be objective while analyzing the situation.
3. Check with your closest expert – you! Ask yourself what you can do about it. Then listen to the answers you receive. Stay focused on solutions and avoid dwelling on the problems. Do you think it would be more effective to spend 90% of your time solving the situation or 90% of your time worrying?
4. Move that ass. Go for a run. Any form of exercise will do. Exercise can put that excess physical and mental energy to work. If you’re feeling stressed, some vigorous exercise will help. Most importantly, take care of yourself. Even during stressful times, it’s important to eat properly and to get enough sleep.
5. Keep your eye on the prize. Maintain a positive attitude. Focus on the positive aspects of your life. One challenging situation doesn’t negate all the good things in life. Make a list of the many things that create a sense of gratitude in your life.
Expert Life Hack: When you can stay focused on what’s good, there’s nothing you can’t do! The good feelings you generate will increase your ability to overcome the situation, and they’ll actually cause you to stay more focused on what you want. How simple is that?
6. Nothing lasts forever – especially things that aren’t in your realm of focus. The more you focus on something, the bigger it becomes in your life. So realize that the situation is temporary. You’ve had many challenging times in your life, but you’ve survived all of them. It’s often surprising how much a situation can change in just a couple of days, weeks, or months. Just hang on and you’ll come out on the other side before you know it.
7. Pay it forward! Change a life! Help someone else. Helping others is an effective way to maintain a healthy perspective. There are people all over the world that would gladly trade their best day for your worst. Put your attention on helping someone else. You’ll feel much better and come to the conclusion that things aren’t really that bad.
8. The only stupid question is the one you don’t ask. So ask for help. There’s no reason to face the world alone. There are many people in your life that would be happy to provide a helping hand. All you have to do is ask. Wouldn’t you help someone if asked? Some questions can literally change your life.
9. Silver linings are worth their weight in gold – so find one, and fast. Find the advantage. Perhaps there’s a silver lining to your situation. If you look hard enough, the challenging situation might provide a huge advantage. You’re unlikely to find it if you don’t look.
10. Ask, believe, receive. And visualize a positive outcome – one that looks like what you REALLY want. In many respects, you absolutely get what you expect. Take a few minutes each day and visualize a highly positive outcome. Expecting the worst can have negative consequences.
Your perspective can make all the difference. A negative outlook can make finding a solution much less likely. Use every tool at your disposal and keep your wits about you. Remember that the circumstances will eventually pass.
And hey, if you do your part to make those tough times pass as quickly and smoothly as possible, you’re already on your way to becoming the best possible version of yourself. What more could you want?
Angela Atkinson is a Certified Life Coach and the author of more than 20 books on narcissism, narcissistic abuse recovery and related topics. A recognized expert on narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder who has studied and written extensively on narcissistic relationships since 2006, Atkinson was inspired to begin her work as a result of having survived toxic relationships of her own.
Atkinson offers trauma-informed coaching and has certifications in life coaching, level 2 therapeutic model, CBT coaching, integrative wellness coaching, and NLP. She is a certified trauma support coach and certified family trauma professional. She also has a professional PTSD counseling certification. Her mission is to help those who have experienced the emotional and mental devastation that comes with narcissistic abuse in these incredibly toxic relationships to (re)discover their true selves, stop the gaslighting and manipulation and move forward into their genuine desires – into a life that is exactly what they choose for themselves.
Along with her solution-focused life coaching experience, Atkinson’s previous career in journalism and research helps her to offer both accurate and understandable information for survivors of abuse in a simple-to-understand way that helps to increase awareness in the narcissistic abuse recovery community. Atkinson founded QueenBeeing.com Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support, the SPANily Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support Groups and the Life Makeover Academy. In her life coaching practice, Atkinson’s clients enjoy her personalized approach that allows and encourages them to become the best possible versions of themselves and to succeed in doing what they love most. She offers individual and group coaching for victims and survivors of narcissistic abuse at NarcissisticAbuseRecovery.Online and NarcissismSupportCoach.com.