“You will not be punished for your anger, you will be punished by your anger.” ~Buddha
How do you let go of anger after narcissistic abuse?
Anger can ruin relationships, fuel poor decisions, and even lead to harming another person. However, when you’re trying to get away from your abuser, you might feel yourself getting justifiably angry. You might even rage. In this case, you can use this anger to propel you forward.
But while a little justified anger might just be appropriate as you’re working on getting out of a toxic relationship with a narcissist, there’s a point at which it stop serving you – and that’s when it’s time to figure out how to deal with and release it.
And remember: choices made while angry are otherwise rarely good choices. Learning how to deal with anger like an intelligent, rational adult can eliminate a lot of drama from your life.
Highly-Effective Tips for Managing Anger in Narcissistic Abuse Recovery
Deal with anger effectively and avoid making a situation even worse with these tips.
- Call a timeout. Imagine all the problems you could have avoided by taking a short break and cooling off before opening your mouth. Not every situation is suitable for a break, but most are.
- Get some exercise. Go for a hard run or hit a punching bag. A long swim can burn up a lot of energy, too. Get your heart pounding and breathe heavily for a little while. You’ll feel much better and increase your health and fitness.
- Listen to soothing music. Now isn’t the time for heavy metal or the theme from Rocky. Find something that soothes your emotions and listen for 15 minutes. Experiment with different types of music until you find the best choice for you. Try Amazon Music Unlimited 30-Day Free Trial
- Praying can help calm you and release your anger.
- Meditation can also lower feelings of anger. Either meditate on your breath or on your feelings of anger. Stick with it until you feel better.
- Count to 10. Visualize the numbers as you count. If possible, count out loud. Changing your focus to counting, visualizing the numbers, speaking the numbers, and hearing the numbers will keep your brain occupied. Think of counting as a very short break.
- Focusing on breathing is another way to take a mini-break without having to flee the scene. Breathing is a tool you can use throughout the day with complete privacy.
- Volunteer regularly. One of the advantages of volunteering is the perspective it provides. You realize that your life could be a lot worse than it is.
- Take a walk. Walking is a great activity. You get a little exercise. It requires a little bit of brain activity, but not so much that you can’t think deep thoughts. A walk is a good addition to anyone’s day and can help you deal with anger-related issues.
- Remember that everyone is doing the best they can. At any given moment, everyone is doing their best. Their best might not be very good at this moment, but it’s still their best.
- A smile holds more power than most people think. The simple act of smiling can enhance your mood and change your perspective.
- Focus on solutions. Rather than focusing on your emotions, focus on how you can resolve the situation.
- Address your anger internally. Ask yourself why you’re angry. Did someone fail to meet your expectations? Do you feel threatened or underappreciated? Are you afraid? Dig into the reasons that you feel angry.
- Address the issue rather than the other person. By attacking the other person, you escalate the situation. Once the other person starts defending themselves, finding a solution becomes much more difficult.
- Get help. Get professional help for serious anger issues. If you’re regularly angry and can’t control your anger, seek out the help of a professional.
It’s important to deal with your anger in a positive way. Handling anger poorly can damage your relationships and your health. There are many quick and easy ways to diffuse your anger and stop yourself from making a bad situation even worse. Address your anger in a healthy manner and you’ll be glad you did!
Get Support in Healing from Narcissistic Abuse
You can start your narcissistic abuse recovery healing here for free.
- The QueenBeeing SPANily, Official – We consider this to be the best narcissistic abuse recovery support group on the web. Offers several subgroups and features a vigilant, compassionate admin team full of trained coaches and survivors, supporting more than 12k members. SPAN is an acronym created by Angie Atkinson that stands for Support for People Affected by Narcissistic abuse in toxic relationships.
- Other Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support Groups – We also have separate groups for each stage in your narcissistic abuse recovery, as well as some for those who have moved past recovery and are evolving into the next stage of their own life. Survivors have unique and individual needs, even when they’ve moved on – so we’re still here for you.
- One-on-One Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Coaching – If you prefer to get more personalized support in your recovery, you might like to schedule a session with one of our coaches to plan and execute your own narcissistic abuse recovery plan.
- Find a Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Therapist – If you’re looking for a therapist for narcissistic abuse recovery, either because you cannot afford coaching and want to use your health insurance or because you have additional issues you need to address that do not fall within the realm of coaching, you will want to find the right therapist for you – and as far as we’re concerned, that therapist must understand what you’ve been through. This page offers assistance to help you do exactly that.
- Where Are You in Recovery? You might not be sure exactly where you fit in and what level of recovery you’ve achieved. If that’s the case, you’ll want to check out this self-assessment to help you determine exactly where you fall in the stages of recovery from narcissistic abuse. Once you finish and submit the assessment, you will be given resources for your own situation, along with recommendations of which groups to join.
- Which Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program is Right for You? If you aren’t sure which program you want to utilize to facilitate your recovery from narcissistic abuse, this self-assessment will help you decide.
Helpful Videos for Narcissistic Abuse Survivors
- When You See the Narcissist After No Contact
- How to Catch a Narcissist in a Lie Every Time (No-Fail Method!)
- 20 Things Narcissists Hate & Don’t Want You to Know They Worry About
- Narcissists Use False Empathy to Fool You (When Narcissists Use False Empathy)
- Can A Narcissist Change For The Better?
- 7 Comments That Instantly Trigger a Narcissist’s Anger
- Why Narcissists Have To Hurt You
- Narcissist’s False Self (How does the narcissist’s false self develop?)
- Narcissists in Old Age (What No One Tells You About Aging Narcissists)
- Narcissistic Abuse Awareness: 7 Red-Hot Flags of Emotional Manipulation
- ACON? How to explain why you went ‘no-contact with a narcissistic parent
Angela Atkinson is a certified trauma counselor and the author of more than 20 books on narcissism, narcissistic abuse recovery, and related topics. A recognized expert on narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder who has studied and written extensively on narcissistic personality disorder and narcissistic abuse in toxic relationships since 2006, she has a popular narcissistic abuse recovery YouTube channel. Atkinson was inspired to begin her work as a result of having survived toxic relationships of her own.
Atkinson offers trauma-informed narcissistic abuse recovery coaching and has certifications in trauma counseling, life coaching, level 2 therapeutic model, CBT coaching, integrative wellness coaching, and NLP. She is a certified trauma support coach and certified family trauma professional. She also has a professional PTSD counseling certification. Her mission is to help those who have experienced the emotional and mental devastation that comes with narcissistic abuse in these incredibly toxic relationships to (re)discover their true selves, stop the gaslighting and manipulation, and move forward into their genuine desires – into a life that is exactly what they choose for themselves.
Along with her solution-focused life coaching experience, Atkinson’s previous career in journalism and research helps her to offer both accurate and understandable information for survivors of abuse in a simple-to-understand way that helps to increase awareness in the narcissistic abuse recovery community. Atkinson founded QueenBeeing.com Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support, the SPANily Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support Groups and the Life Makeover Academy.
She offers individual and group coaching for victims and survivors of narcissistic abuse here at QueenBeeing.com and at NarcissisticAbuseRecovery.Online.