Thoughts on this post? Share them with me on Facebook, join the SPANily or Tweet me at @angieatkinson. ~Angie

1. You’ve started to like yourself a little. And maybe even respect yourself – and dare I say it? Love yourself! You understand that you have value outside of being a narcissistic supply and you have begun to develop standards for yourself and the people you associate with each day.

2. You are becoming an expert boundary-setter and enforcer. You’re no longer allowing other people to dictate your boundaries and you certainly don’t allow anyone to step over the line and remain part of your inner circle anymore. Now, you live your life for you and you focus on what matters to you first.

3. You are moving past the pain and anger and starting to develop a strong sense of self. You know who you are and you’re embracing the REAL YOU!

4. You have figured out what your passion is – or you’re well on your way to it – and you’re starting to spend time doing something you love on a regular basis.

5. You have released your anger and sadness regarding the narcissist in your life, or you’re ready to do that. You don’t forget, but you do let go and keep the lessons learned in mind as you go forward.

6. You have forgiven yourself (or you’re ready to forgive yourself) for being involved with the narcissist, or for not discovering that this person had NPD sooner. Or for whatever it was that you consider your fault in the relationship.

7. You’re learning to trust yourself and your intuition again. This is hard for survivors of narcissistic abuse because we are taught NOT to trust our own eyes, thoughts and beliefs during the gaslighting part of our abuse.

8. You are starting to learn to trust people again – and also how to know who you can’t trust. You’re aware but not paranoid when you meet someone new.

9. You are starting to find some kind of new level of understanding (or even some meaning) in the experience – a silver lining if you will. If you can’t see it that way, you’re at least willing to see that you’re stronger than most people you know in real life. Certainly, you still wish it never happened, but you also see that you have become a more complete and better version of yourself during your healing.

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5 Responses to 16 Ways to Tell You’re Healing After a Narcissistic Relationship

  1. I don’t know what I would have done without Angie and Queenbeeing.
    I broke away from my narcissist partner a year ago. he STILL contacts me…and is abusive if he doesn’t get his own way. I am finally ready to go no contact. He is actually with the last woman I caught him with (there were 3 that I found out about). He still denies being with her calling her a stalker, a fat and telling me ‘it’s all in my head’. She is welcome to him…karma, she knows what he did to me…her time will come

  2. Thanks Angie, you have really helped me process 12 years of abuse through two seperate relationships. I have no contact with either one. The last one i have a legal orotection order against.

    I am still attracting narcisists, which is very distressing as i hardly go out looking and am not desperate for a relationship.

    The difference is i am now aware of the signs and am quick to walk away. But why am i i still like a magnet to these dreadful people? The mind boggles! Im an intelligent educated woman. You would think i would attract a higher quality person! What is it about me?

    • I feel as if I could have written this post. I have been divorced from narc #2 for 3 years when I realized I was thinking about getting involved with another one. Like Angie said in her video on Narc Magnets – they intentionally look for attractive, successful and empathic people because that is what they lack. But, what keeps me optimistic, is that they are in the minority. The majority of people are not narcs! The more you exercise your awareness by meeting more people, you are bound to come across healthy people where there is mutual attraction. Stay strong and know there is absolutely nothing wrong with you!

    • Kim im having a hard time since my narc killed himself. I do not have the support aystem i had before him.

  3. My ex narcissist turned up in my life after I walked away from him in 2014. He tried to get the relationship going again but I am so strong and went through such an horrific ordeal that I have resisted him…I am not answering any of his calls or texts…I feel I am recovered and only want to make myself safe from the pain and suffering he inflicts on women, by the way he got married in 2015 not long after we split up, they divorced 2 years later. I am detached from him do not want him any more
    I feel so strong, it has taken me four years to get there and ten months of counselling thank you Angie, you helped so much, that man will never be part of my life again, I wish I could help others to stop the madness those creatures inflict on others

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