1. You’ve started to like yourself a little. And maybe even respect yourself – and dare I say it? Love yourself! You understand that you have value outside of being a narcissistic supply and you have begun to develop standards for yourself and the people you associate with each day.
2. You are becoming an expert boundary-setter and enforcer. You’re no longer allowing other people to dictate your boundaries and you certainly don’t allow anyone to step over the line and remain part of your inner circle anymore. Now, you live your life for you and you focus on what matters to you first.
3. You are moving past the pain and anger and starting to develop a strong sense of self. You know who you are and you’re embracing the REAL YOU!
4. You have figured out what your passion is – or you’re well on your way to it – and you’re starting to spend time doing something you love on a regular basis.
5. You have released your anger and sadness regarding the narcissist in your life, or you’re ready to do that. You don’t forget, but you do let go and keep the lessons learned in mind as you go forward.
6. You have forgiven yourself (or you’re ready to forgive yourself) for being involved with the narcissist, or for not discovering that this person had NPD sooner. Or for whatever it was that you consider your fault in the relationship.
7. You’re learning to trust yourself and your intuition again. This is hard for survivors of narcissistic abuse because we are taught NOT to trust our own eyes, thoughts and beliefs during the gaslighting part of our abuse.
8. You are starting to learn to trust people again – and also how to know who you can’t trust. You’re aware but not paranoid when you meet someone new.
9. You are starting to find some kind of new level of understanding (or even some meaning) in the experience – a silver lining if you will. If you can’t see it that way, you’re at least willing to see that you’re stronger than most people you know in real life. Certainly, you still wish it never happened, but you also see that you have become a more complete and better version of yourself during your healing.
Angela Atkinson is a Certified Life Coach and the author of more than 20 books on narcissism, narcissistic abuse recovery and related topics. A recognized expert on narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder who has studied and written extensively on narcissistic relationships since 2006, Atkinson was inspired to begin her work as a result of having survived toxic relationships of her own.
Atkinson offers trauma-informed coaching and has certifications in life coaching, level 2 therapeutic model, CBT coaching, integrative wellness coaching, and NLP. She is a certified trauma support coach and certified family trauma professional. She also has a professional PTSD counseling certification. Her mission is to help those who have experienced the emotional and mental devastation that comes with narcissistic abuse in these incredibly toxic relationships to (re)discover their true selves, stop the gaslighting and manipulation and move forward into their genuine desires – into a life that is exactly what they choose for themselves.
Along with her solution-focused life coaching experience, Atkinson’s previous career in journalism and research helps her to offer both accurate and understandable information for survivors of abuse in a simple-to-understand way that helps to increase awareness in the narcissistic abuse recovery community. Atkinson founded QueenBeeing.com Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support, the SPANily Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support Groups and the Life Makeover Academy. In her life coaching practice, Atkinson’s clients enjoy her personalized approach that allows and encourages them to become the best possible versions of themselves and to succeed in doing what they love most. She offers individual and group coaching for victims and survivors of narcissistic abuse at NarcissisticAbuseRecovery.Online and NarcissismSupportCoach.com.