Often in my recent years, I’ve strived for just that—peace and simplicity. Interestingly, when I was younger and more defiant, I fought the idea of simplicity, of routine, of general well-being. Of course, I didn’t understand this at that time. I thought I was fighting “the man”, structure, all of those nasty things. In reality, I think I was trying desperately to find myself, to find that thing that helped me to stand out from others, to be different or unique somehow. I grew up in a small town where everyone was very similar. It was almost unheard of to actually attempt to be different. But I did, and I think I was pretty successful at it.
Imagine my surprise when I went away to college and found that there were all kinds of different people, just like me. Suddenly, my pond was a river and I didn’t have anywhere to hold on. This only continued, for a few years later, my company transferred me to St. Louis, where I was obviously nothing special.
The bottom line for me has been in recognizing that if I don’t think I’m anything special, neither will anyone else. My life now may seem pretty boring from the outside, pretty tame and uneventful. Definitely not unique in any way. I’m a stay at home mom with two kids. I live in a three bedroom home and have a darling husband. We have two cars, both paid off. Our life revolves around our kids and our family. We all have our own interests and ideas, but we come together for dinner each night, soccer games a couple of times a week, and various other family type activities.
This, in my younger life, would have been my nightmare. I wanted nothing to do with this life. How ironic, then that today, this is my dream AND my reality. I couldn’t be happier unless of course we suddenly won millions of dollars or something, but I don’t even think that would do it.
No, life is not perfect. Yes, I argue with my husband and get (oh so very) annoyed with my kids. But we have love and we have each other, and for that, we are unmistakably blessed.
Angela Atkinson is a Certified Life Coach and the author of more than 20 books on narcissism, narcissistic abuse recovery and related topics. A recognized expert on narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder who has studied and written extensively on narcissistic relationships since 2006, Atkinson was inspired to begin her work as a result of having survived toxic relationships of her own.
Atkinson offers trauma-informed coaching and has certifications in life coaching, level 2 therapeutic model, CBT coaching, integrative wellness coaching, and NLP. She is a certified trauma support coach and certified family trauma professional. She also has a professional PTSD counseling certification. Her mission is to help those who have experienced the emotional and mental devastation that comes with narcissistic abuse in these incredibly toxic relationships to (re)discover their true selves, stop the gaslighting and manipulation and move forward into their genuine desires – into a life that is exactly what they choose for themselves.
Along with her solution-focused life coaching experience, Atkinson’s previous career in journalism and research helps her to offer both accurate and understandable information for survivors of abuse in a simple-to-understand way that helps to increase awareness in the narcissistic abuse recovery community. Atkinson founded QueenBeeing.com Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support, the SPANily Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support Groups and the Life Makeover Academy. In her life coaching practice, Atkinson’s clients enjoy her personalized approach that allows and encourages them to become the best possible versions of themselves and to succeed in doing what they love most. She offers individual and group coaching for victims and survivors of narcissistic abuse at NarcissisticAbuseRecovery.Online and NarcissismSupportCoach.com.