Often in my recent years, I’ve strived for just that—peace and simplicity. Interestingly, when I was younger and more defiant, I fought the idea of simplicity, of routine, of general well-being. Of course, I didn’t understand this at that time. I thought I was fighting “the man”, structure, all of those nasty things. In reality, I think I was trying desperately to find myself, to find that thing that helped me to stand out from others, to be different or unique somehow. I grew up in a small town where everyone was very similar. It was almost unheard of to actually attempt to be different. But I did, and I think I was pretty successful at it.
Imagine my surprise when I went away to college and found that there were all kinds of different people, just like me. Suddenly, my pond was a river and I didn’t have anywhere to hold on. This only continued, for a few years later, my company transferred me to St. Louis, where I was obviously nothing special.
The bottom line for me has been in recognizing that if I don’t think I’m anything special, neither will anyone else. My life now may seem pretty boring from the outside, pretty tame and uneventful. Definitely not unique in any way. I’m a stay at home mom with two kids. I live in a three bedroom home and have a darling husband. We have two cars, both paid off. Our life revolves around our kids and our family. We all have our own interests and ideas, but we come together for dinner each night, soccer games a couple of times a week, and various other family type activities.
This, in my younger life, would have been my nightmare. I wanted nothing to do with this life. How ironic, then that today, this is my dream AND my reality. I couldn’t be happier unless of course we suddenly won millions of dollars or something, but I don’t even think that would do it.
No, life is not perfect. Yes, I argue with my husband and get (oh so very) annoyed with my kids. But we have love and we have each other, and for that, we are unmistakably blessed.