“Everybody knows how to love, but few people know how to stay in love with one person forever.”
I’ve been with my husband for more of my adult life than I haven’t now, and I’m still not bored with him. That is partially because he’s awesome and partially because I’m awesome. No, seriously.
A big reason for our longevity lies in the fact that we actively nurture our relationship. One of the ways we do this is to seek opportunities to see one another through fresh eyes, new perspectives.
His Choices Affirm Mine
Everyone likes a good sign from the Universe that affirms a choice they make in their life, and yesterday, I got yet another one in regard to my choice in a spouse.
Yesterday when my husband Bill got home from work, we went outside together to work on the lawn. As he mulched the leaves, he noticed that a tiny stone (or maybe a gumball from a neighbor’s tree) had flown out and in the direction of another neighbor’s siding.
He investigated and noticed a small hole in the siding, and though he couldn’t be sure he’d caused it, he went over and told the neighbor what had happened and offered to pay for any damage he may have caused.
(For the record, the neighbor’s also a pretty cool guy who told Bill not to worry about it.)
A Lifelong Love, Renewed Again
You know those moments in your life when you suddenly see someone with a whole new way? Yep. This was one of those moments for me – one that reminded me why I’d fallen in love with him in the first place. And one that I immediately wanted to share with my children.
I immediately saw this as a teachable moment and as a way to give them an understanding of the concept of doing the right thing, even when you don’t have to. See, no one but Bill realized that the rock had flown toward the neighbor’s house, and he could very easily have ignored it.
But he didn’t. Instead, he did the right thing. And he did it only because it was the right thing. I found I suddenly loved him on a whole new level.
How to Renew the Love in Your Relationship
You can apply this lesson to your own relationship, too, if you want. Bill and I both actively seek out these opportunities to see one another with fresh eyes, and it keeps our relationship exciting, to say the least. Not to shabby for a couple of old married folks, am I right?
You can do the same thing to improve literally any relationship in your life, romantic or otherwise. Simply attempt to see the person in a whole new way, through someone else’s eyes, so to speak.
And while you’re at it, if you’re feeling insecure about yourself, you can do the same thing – mentally step back and look at yourself in a new way. You might be surprised to learn how amazing you (and the people you love) really can be.
Angela Atkinson is a Certified Life Coach and the author of more than 20 books on narcissism, narcissistic abuse recovery and related topics. A recognized expert on narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder who has studied and written extensively on narcissistic relationships since 2006, Atkinson was inspired to begin her work as a result of having survived toxic relationships of her own.
Atkinson offers trauma-informed coaching and has certifications in life coaching, level 2 therapeutic model, CBT coaching, integrative wellness coaching, and NLP. She is a certified trauma support coach and certified family trauma professional. She also has a professional PTSD counseling certification. Her mission is to help those who have experienced the emotional and mental devastation that comes with narcissistic abuse in these incredibly toxic relationships to (re)discover their true selves, stop the gaslighting and manipulation and move forward into their genuine desires – into a life that is exactly what they choose for themselves.
Along with her solution-focused life coaching experience, Atkinson’s previous career in journalism and research helps her to offer both accurate and understandable information for survivors of abuse in a simple-to-understand way that helps to increase awareness in the narcissistic abuse recovery community. Atkinson founded QueenBeeing.com Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support, the SPANily Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support Groups and the Life Makeover Academy. In her life coaching practice, Atkinson’s clients enjoy her personalized approach that allows and encourages them to become the best possible versions of themselves and to succeed in doing what they love most. She offers individual and group coaching for victims and survivors of narcissistic abuse at NarcissisticAbuseRecovery.Online and NarcissismSupportCoach.com.