My brilliant friend Dr. Judith Orloff, who is both an psychiatrist and a gifted intuitive, combines traditional Western medical knowledge with energy medicine and intuitive healing. Her latest book, Emotional Freedom: Liberate Yourself From Negative Emotions And Transform Your Life, offers the best of both to help you free yourself from the emotional prisons we have a tendency to inhabit. The post is the first in a series based on Dr. Orloff’s book that aim to help you harness your feminine power by unshackling you from the emotional chains that drag you down. So get ready to rock, girlfriends! (more…)
I gotta tell you, I love the holidays. I really do. It’s so much fun to see the kids opening their gifts, and I love spending time with the extended families and catching up with everyone.
All that fun (and gift wrapping…and travel…and cooking…etc) can be exhausting and can certainly throw one off track. I know that I have found myself out of my routine and feeling blocked for the last couple of days, so I thought it would be a good idea to figure out how to get focused again.
Whether you’re struggling with post-holiday let down, or just general scattered-ness (like me), finding one’s groove again is a pretty common challenge after the holidays. That said, allow me to offer a few suggestions to help you (and me) get back on track!
1. Do your affirmations. Whether you have a daily set or you just affirm as needed, get back into the groove of it. Maybe add one to your list like this: “I am grounded, centered, and focused.”
2. Meditate. I found this little technique online (here). It’s particularly simple and quite helpful:
Four-Corner Breathing How-To
1. Find an object nearby that has four corners — a box, your monitor, or even this page.
2. Start at the upper-left-hand corner and inhale for 4 counts.
3. Turn your gaze to the upper-right-hand corner and hold your breath for 4 counts.
4. Move to the lower-right-hand corner. Exhale for 4.
5. Now shift your attention to the lower-left-hand corner. Tell yourself to relax and smile. Repeat 3 to 5 times, or as often as you like.
3. Get off your butt. Thaaat’s right, I said it. Get some exercise, get your blood flowing. You don’t have to make yourself sore, just move your body a little. Take a walk, dance with your kids, whatever. It will perk you right up.
4. Clean something. De-holiday your house, or just dust the knick-knacks. Whatever works for you. Sometimes cleaning up around the house seems to translate into cleaning up the clutter in your head. At least it does for me.
5. Just do it. You know, like those Nike people always say. Try going through the motions a little. For example, if you’re…say… a freelance writer (like me), you could…I don’t know…write a blog about ways to get focused again. I’m just saying, it might help. 🙂 Blog about it, journal about it…draw a picture…whatever gets you going.
6. Think happy thoughts, happy thoughts. My final tip of the day is to keep your chin up. Don’t let life overwhelm you. Take it one step at a time, and remember that everything will be okay, even if it takes you another day or two to get your groove back. Keep an eye on your perspective, and if you find yourself feeling stressed, start counting your blessings. Remembering the good things we have and feeling grateful for them is one way to stay focused on the best parts of our lives, which invites more good.
So my challenge to you today is simple. Get back on track, whatever that means for you, and remember to keep smiling!
Do you find yourself struggling to regain focus after the holidays? How do you handle it? Will that change this year? Share your thoughts in the comments section, below!
By Angela Atkinson
I don’t know how to deal with people who think they’re better than me.
You know the kind I mean? They are the ones who brag about every little thing, and really, none of it is impressive to me.
I might be impressed if I thought they had better intentions, but I really think they are just insecure.
Why do I feel like they are trying to make me jealous or belittle me? (more…)
Sometimes, it’s easy to get caught up in the negative things, especially when you forget be intentional. This is especially true when you’re faced with situations that trigger negative emotions like sadness, anger or fear.
I don’t know about you, but when I’m dealing with certain stressful situations, I sometimes let myself feel the pressure. This of course affects my mood, which in turn affects my entire vibration–and then causes me to think and feel negatively, thus attracting negativity into my life.
Change your life–sign up for Project Blissful right now! It’s free.
I know I’m not alone here–everyone has, at one time or another, found themselves feeling a negative emotion, and everyone understands the mental and physical effects doing so can have on a person.
We understand that by the universal law of attraction, we are drawing toward us what we are “putting out there,” but in our grief or anger or fear, we can’t bring ourselves to pull out of that negative place.
Why Do We Do This?
We do this because we want to do it. Some part of us wants to feel sad or angry or scared, and so we accept and embrace those feelings. Maybe we feel like we need to feel negative emotions, or that we’re supposed to feel negative emotions in certain situations. Or maybe some part of us likes to feel that way.
But even though it sometimes feels like our emotions are in control of us, rather than the other way around, the truth is that we have a choice. We can decide how we want to feel, and we can intentionally change the vibration we’re sending out into the universe from a negative one to a positive one.
How Do We Do THAT?
Awareness and Intentional Thought
First, we must become aware of our thoughts and of the words we speak, and we must mentally ‘cancel’ any negative thoughts and replace them with positive ones. This process feels a little artificial when you first begin it, but after a little practice, it becomes second nature.
So, if you’re in a stressful situation and find yourself feeling negative emotions, STOP. Say to yourself, “I now cancel that thought and replace it with this affirmation of my true desire.” And then say what you really want. You can do this out loud or in your head.
A little tip from me to you: If you’re not alone, you might want to stick to saying it in your head. Wouldn’t want anyone thinking you’re crazy, now would you? 😉
But seriously, even though it may feel forced at first, you can still use this technique to your advantage. Sometimes all you need is a mental interruption to change the flow of thoughts–and this works perfectly in that respect. And once it becomes second nature, you’ll find it working on a whole new level.
Find Your Happy Place
Get happy by focusing on or thinking about things that can make you feel happiness and love. For example, parents might snuggle with their children or look at old photos of them. Artists might paint or sculpt, and writers might write. Just about anyone could benefit from getting a little exercise or otherwise changing the scene. Or maybe a certain movie or book or song always cheers you up.
You might come up with a whole list of thoughts, people and things that always make you feel happy, loved, satisfied or simply amazing. Do it however it feels right for you, but definitely do it.
But What If We Don’t Know What Makes Us Happy?
What Works for Me
When I am feeling negatively, I have a few different go-to happy places. Number one is simply spending time with my kids. They are all three such sources of joy for me, and I consider being their mother an honor and a privilege.
I can also reach out to my husband and my friends, as well as some supportive extended family members.
And, as you probably know, I’m a writer, and I feel absolutely grateful that I am able to make a living doing what I love. That’s why sometimes, all I need to do to find my happy place is to simply focus on my work for awhile. Because I love what I do, if I can bring myself to focus on it, I always have a reason to smile, and often find myself doing so unconsciously while I’m working.
What Works for You?
Maybe for you, it’s not about your work or your relationships, but it’s about your hobbies or outside interests. If that’s the case, then that’s what you need to focus on when you’re feeling negatively.
So, if you love to play Wii Tennis, get to playing. And if you enjoy sewing or hiking or meditation or watching reruns of True Blood–get to doing some of that. It doesn’t much matter what brings you to happy as long as you know how to get there.
Where’s your happy place? Do you know how to get there? Tell me in the comments!
Every man should be born again on the first day of January. Start with a fresh page. Take up one hole more in the buckle if necessary, or let down one, according to circumstances; but on the first of January let every man gird himself once more, with his face to the front, and take no interest in the things that were and are past. ~Henry Ward Beecher
Happy new year (Photo credit: Amodiovalerio Verde)
2012 was a pretty eventful year for me. I grew my career. I got closer to some people in my life, and I redefined some relationships. I made some really difficult choices, and I learned a lot about myself.
I took a step back and looked at my life with fresh eyes, a new perspective provided by the choices I made, and I came to understand many things on a profound new level.
In the end, I am calling 2012 a success and I’m so grateful for all of the wonderful people, things and situations in my life. I love my life and I’m very blessed to have everything I could ever want or need to be happy. 🙂
But back in 2010, I started this new thing, and I had to share it with you–because it changed my world.
Change your life–sign up for Project Blissful right now! It’s free.
New Year’s Intentions
Instead of coming up with a bunch of traditional “New Year’s Resolutions,” I’m going with “New Year’s Intentions.”
As far as I’m concerned, resolutions are sort of a recipe for negativity. Statistically speaking, most people don’t follow through with most resolutions–and they’re left feeling like they’ve failed. This can begin a cycle of negativity that can spin out of control.
I’m starting out 2013 by feeling good. I’ve lost a significant amount of weight, I’m feeling happy and healthy and I am generally doing better than I’ve ever done on many levels.
I’ve said it a thousand times, and I’ll say it again: when we feel good, we bring more reasons to feel good into our lives.
What we think about, we bring about. If we focus on our problems, we attract more problems into our lives.
When we think about things or situations or people that we find unpleasant–guess what? We are actively attracting them into our lives.
So this year, instead of promising myself I am going to Become A Whole New Person, I am promising myself that I will be happy with who I am, right now.
I will define myself, instead of letting someone else define me. I am promising myself to focus on positive thoughts, actions, people, places, things.
I am promising myself that I will focus on what I want–not what I don’t want.
Instead of worrying about the size of my jeans, I’m going to focus on the fact that my body is an amazing machine that helps me do what I want and need to do every day.
Instead of focusing on the dust on my shelves, I’m going to focus on being grateful for the home that those dusty shelves (and I) live in.
Instead of worrying about mean people and icky situations, I’m going to focus on love–love for my family and friends, love for my career, love for myself.
You get the idea–like the old song goes, I’m going to accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative.
Instead of focusing on what other people think about me and want from me, I’m going to focus on what I think and what I want for me.
If I feel stressed or anxious, I am going to change my mind, and focus on the things for which I’m grateful instead. I’m not going to beat myself up if something doesn’t go my way–I’m going to realize that another opportunity is on the way and stay positive in anticipation of it.
It’s all in my head. And that’s where it all starts, for each and every one of us. It’s good to think big–just remember to focus on your own vision and not what you think you’re supposed to want.
Like I said before–do not put limits on your desires! Just be confident enough in yourself to truly embrace them.
Be comfortable enough with who you are to embrace your true nature, and stand up and tell the world who you are.
And so my friends, as Oprah Winfrey said, “Cheers to a new year and another chance for us to get it right.”
What do you think? Are you making any resolutions this year, or will you be sticking with intentions? Tell me in the comments!