“To all the other dreamers out there, don’t ever stop or let the world’s negativity disenchant you or your spirit. If you surround yourself with love and the right people, anything is possible.” ~Adam Green
Positive living can sometimes seem like a stretch, right? With everything that’s going on in your life, it’s easy to get dejected. But you can actually get beyond that and convert your frustrations into positivity.
Life coaches are great examples for positivity. They seem like godsends when you’re at your lowest. And you probably wonder what special secret they have for joyous living.
Great news! There really is no secret.
Try these steps to develop your own abundance of positivity:
Own responsibility for your life’s outcomes.One of the first things a life coach teaches is that you are in charge of your life. When you accept that, it will be easier for you to move on from negative experiences. On the flip side, you can take all the credit for the positives!
Knowing that you’re in charge helps you to make adjustments. Let’s say you see a situation developing into something negative. Your actions can result in a complete turnaround for the better.
When you take responsibility, it’s easier to move on. You accept what happens, learn the lesson, and apply it to future scenarios.
Trust yourself. It’s important to trust your own instincts, thoughts, and ideas. Nobody knows the solutions to your challenges like you do. By trusting your gut, you’ll be able to confidently make wise choices.
Your decisions and choices are the ones that have the greatest impact. When you’re ready to own that, you’ll be able to look at life more positively.
Trusting yourself may take time. You probably look first at what others may think. But at the end of the day, it’s your life. The only opinion that matters regarding your life is yours!
Eliminate the feeling of defeat. An essential element of positive living is to avoid feeling defeated. Even in the most undesirable circumstances, there’s always a light at the end of the tunnel. When you start exercising your ability to rise above challenges, you’ll find it easier to maintain a positive outlook.
Unfavorable outcomes aren’t meant to discourage you. They’re meant to help you rise and make it through obstacles!
A defeated person is usually out of options. However, that’s the furthest thing from the truth with you. As long as you’re alive, you’ll have many more opportunities to make things right.
Empower others. Sometimes setting examples for others can help you train yourself. Seek opportunities to empower others. Help them to remain positive and confident despite life’s trials. You may find yourself taking those lessons and applying them to your own life!
Take some time to think about someone else. Look at their situation and how they’ve handled it. Are they about to give up? Why not try to prevent that from happening?
Making the decision to help others gives you the perfect opportunity to see the benefits of positive thinking.
Life coaches know how to make the most of the life they have. At the end of the day, that’s exactly how you’ll be able to change your mind set. Work with what you have as if it’s the only thing you’ll ever have. You’ll be surprised at how easily you turn things around!
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us most. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and famous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that people won’t feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in all of us. And when we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” ~Marianne Williamson
Good news: You Can Free Yourself from Needing the Approval of Others
Since we were children, most of us learned that it could be advantageous to make others happy. Most children want the approval of their parents, teachers, and peers. We tend to carry that same tendency into adulthood. While it’s natural to seek the approval of others, sometimes it might not be for the best.
Being a strong and free person includes the ability to move freely through the world without excessive concern about the opinions of others. Think about the people you respect the most. Do they allow the opinions of others to dictate their decisions? You can live the same way.
Live life on your own terms with these tips:
Learn to say what you think. If you’re concerned about the opinions of others, you’ve probably developed a habit of keeping your opinion to yourself.
Start giving your opinion on smaller issues. For example, if you’re asked what movie you’d like to see, give a specific answer.
As your comfort level improves, you can speak up about more important issues.
Take the time to appreciate yourself. Keep a few minutes each day to remind yourself of all the things you like about yourself. Think about all the good things you do each day. List your positive characteristics.
If you can approve of yourself, you’ll be less likely to need approval from others.
Remind yourself that it’s impossible to make everyone happy. There are a wide variety of people in the world. So no matter what you do, there will always be someone who doesn’t like you. Interestingly, those that try to please everyone tend to be less respected. Others admire confident people, and confident people march to their own drum.
There’s more gray area than you think. Many people that desperately seek the approval of others believe that perfection is the only thing that pleases others. You’re not going to be condemned (or considered a saint) for everyday words and actions.
Even the best people occasionally do or say things that most would consider to be negative. Others understand that no one is perfect all of the time. Do you judge people harshly over minor issues?
Avoid reacting to disapproval in a way that encourages the criticizer. Many people use disapproval as a way to control others. When you apologize unnecessarily or change your opinion in reaction to disapproval, you might be simply rewarding that other person.
If you feel that another person is being unreasonable, consider confronting them in a calm, reasonable manner. You’ll likely find that the criticizer’s tendency to disapprove will stop when it fails to affect your choices. The disapproval you’re showing is fair under the circumstance. For once, disapproval will work for you instead of against you!
Before taking an action, ask yourself if you’re primarily doing it to receive approval. Try to eliminate activities and choices from your life that are driven by the need to have others think highly of you.
Do a few things each week that you enjoy, even if they’re not going to impress anyone. It gets easier with time.
We all seek the approval of others from time to time. But allowing that need to control your thoughts and behavior makes life less enjoyable and more challenging.
The first step to changing approval-seeking thoughts and behavior is recognizing them as they occur. With a little work, you’ll find that the disapproval you’ve been avoiding has much less impact than you thought! It’s simply not a big deal. Free yourself from needing the approval of others. You’ll be glad you did!
“Love consists in this, that two solitudes protect and touch and greet each other.” – Rainer Maria Rilke
Enhance Your Relationship: 7 Strategies to Show Love for Your Partner
Are you feeling bored in a monogamous relationship? Is it that you really aren’t attracted to your partner, or is it that you’ve both stopped dating each other? How would you like to feel closer to your him?
When you open your mind to the idea of having a more meaningful love relationship, you can experience some amazing things together and build a love that’s strong and ever-lasting.
Imagine what it would mean to you to know you’re forging a solid base with the love of your life.
Follow these tips to show your love and strengthen your connection:
Listen well. When you’ve been in a relationship for a while, you might tend toward occasionally tuning out your partner. So, staying focused and listening when your lover is sharing something is one of the best ways to enhance your closeness.
When your partner starts talking, stop what you’re doing, turn toward them, make eye contact, and listen.
Acknowledge. Show that you hear your partner by saying things like, “Uh-huh,” “yes,” “I didn’t know that,” or “I hear what you’re saying.”
Pay attention. From your partner’s facial expression, how do you think they might be feeling? Do their shoulders seem to be sagging a bit today? What things make your partner smile, or even laugh out loud? Simply by observing, you can learn a lot.
Plan special time together each day. Let your partner know you love them by designating time daily to do something together. Eating dinner at the table is likely a common occurrence, but you could also play some cards after dinner for an hour or so or do some other activity together that you enjoy.
Maybe you share a love of the outdoors. Taking a walk is a great way to spend a half-hour or more talking and holding hands each day.
During these shared times, make an effort to talk about things you want to do and your dreams for the future.
Make quick contact, even when you’re busy. Although you both may work a lot, making quick contacts through the day can be great for your relationship. There are a myriad of ways to stay in touch.
You can make a quick phone call, send a funny or sexy text, or send an e-mail just to say, “Hi,” during your breaks. Take care to follow your company’s rules regarding personal use of phones and e-mails when contacting your partner during the work day.
Brag about your partner within earshot of them. Nothing enhances your connection more than hearing the love of your life telling others how you do something well. So, take the opportunity to share out loud your love’s strong points from time to time.
Talk about how they spiffed up your car or cooked your favorite meal. You can mention how your spouse has a knack for decorating your home or calming the kids, for example.
And don’t forget to tell your partner directly that he’s awesome, too–men love that (and so do women!).
Plan a secret get-away. What if you were to plan an overnight trip to take your art-loving partner to see that new art museum that’s a couple of hours away? Or to stay at a beach cottage for an extended weekend to celebrate their birthday?
Have fun with your undercover planning. You can place “clues” of what your plans are by leaving little hints and notes around the house or send texts that pique their interest in what you’re planning.
Your partner will love the thought that went in to your elaborate “scheme” to have some alone-time together.
Here’s the bottom line: You hold the keys to creating the most intense and loving relationship you’ve ever had. Put these strategies into action now to help build an everlasting bond with the one you love.
Supercharge Your Success: A Weekly Routine to Benefit From Your Mistakes
People who struggle to be successful frequently repeat the same mistakes over and over. The habit of repeating mistakes can easily be corrected. All you have to do is develop a weekly habit of examining your mistakes and coming up with better alternatives for the next time.
Just as a chain is limited by the strength of its weakest link, our success is limited by the quality of our worst decisions. Eliminating mistakes is a powerful way to become more successful in life.
Try this process for minimizing the prevalence of your mistakes:
Set aside some time once a week. Have a specific time each week that you use to look back and examine your week. Schedule it into your week just like anything else of high importance.
Look back at all the important events from your week. Consider every important interaction and decision you made during the week.
Reflect on your interactions with your family and the decisions you made related to them. How did you handle your kids? Did you have positive interactions with your partner?
Think about your financial decisions. Include your spending and how you managed with paying your bills. Investing decisions can be included, too.
What happened at work? How was your presentation? Did you hire or fire someone? Are you feuding with someone? Were you ever late for work? Did your boss yell at you?
Examine your health. Did you eat nutritiously this week? Did you sleep well? Did you get enough exercise?
Include anything else that seems important. Contemplate everything that’s important to you, including anything that involves your friends and neighbors.
Ask yourself what you could have done better. Where did you make mistakes? Go back over your entire week and consider how each situation could have been managed more effectively.
It’s similar to asking yourself what you would do if you could go back in time and live that experience all over again.
Odds are that you’ll have the opportunity to experience a similar situation in the future. Most of our lives are filled with routines and habits. There’s not a lot of novelty from week to week.
Look for trends in your behavior. We’re all prone to making similar mistakes again and again. Even in completely different situations, we tend to make the same sorts of mistakes.
Are you assuming too much? Are you too impatient? Are you inconsiderate? Are you acting without getting enough information? Are you ignoring your family?
If you can correct a trend in your decision-making, you can eliminate a lot of future errors.
Visualize yourself handling the situation in a more effective manner. Try to find solutions to challenging situations. Then, see yourself in the same situation, only this time you’ll take a new approach. Visualize things working out well.
This step is super powerful, so avoid skipping it. A few minutes can really make a huge difference.
Think about what you did well, too! Recognize those things and resolve to continue responding in the same way to those situations. Keep the good stuff and change the bad.
Your success in life will be enhanced by leaps and bounds if you simply take the time to eliminate your mistakes. Each week, you’ll become more and more effective as you make fewer and fewer mistakes. Success isn’t all about doing spectacular things. It’s just as much about not making spectacular blunders.
Avoid making the same mistake twice. Recognize your shortcomings each week and banish them from your life.
If you ask me, there are plenty of reasons. But if I were you, I’d want to know up front that there are plenty of special freebies for members of the Queen Bee Society! It’s my way of giving back to those who join me along this journey to bliss here, and to the online community in general.