Queen Bee QT: 10 Ways to Stop Being So Judgmental

Queen Bee QT: 10 Ways to Stop Being So Judgmental

“The greatest moral failing is to condemn something as a moral failing: no vice is worse than being judgmental.” ~Julian Baggini

To judge others is to form a critical opinion about them, often for reasons that aren’t helping anyone. For example, you may decide that your neighbor down the street is an ineffective parent because she’s known to indulge her children or chooses to avoid disciplining them, at least not in the same way you choose to discipline yours. 

If you notice that you’re spending more time having strong opinions about others than you are thinking about your own life, you may be “copping out” and not confronting your own resolvable issues. Ain’t nobody got time for that! 

But if you’re willing to do it, you can learn!

Consider these points:

  1. Avoid focusing on the negative. Focusing on the negative impacts your emotional self in undesirable ways. Negative thoughts make you feel more pessimistic about life. In short, judging others negatively affects you!
  2. Think about how satisfied you are with your own life. When you’re floundering, you might project those feelings onto others by judging them.
  3. Maybe you lack faith in yourself. If you struggle to believe in yourself, maybe you’re reflecting those doubts onto others to avoid confronting your own issues.
  4. Judging others may mean that you want to control the situation. Do you believe that others ought to behave just like you, react to situations as you would, and feel like you do? If so, why do you think that?
  5. Assess how much time and effort you spend focusing on your own character defects. We all have something about ourselves that could stand some alteration. Looking carefully within yourself promotes self-understanding. It also helps you identify what things you’d like to change.
  6. Determine how you can best use your energy. Does judging others or looking within yourself deserve your attention?
  7. If you target something you dislike in others, what are the chances you can do anything about it?
  8. If you discover something about yourself you dislike, you can more likely use your energies to change it.
  9. Decide if you’re happy with who you are. Evaluating yourself in an honest way is important. Locating the source of unhappiness within you can lead to a brighter pathway, and decrease your yearning to judge others.
  10. Realize that nobody’s perfect. Being critical of others seems to be a common element of the human condition. Whether we can ever completely obliterate our compelling urges to judge remains to be seen.

Oprah once said, “When you know better, you do better.” If you recognize that some of your comments spring from a part of you that wants to judge, it can serve as a deterrent to your future judging behavior.

Ask yourself, “How can I live the life I deserve if I’m too focused on others?” Creating your dream existence takes considerable consistency, focus, and time.

Recognize when it’s okay to acknowledge bothersome traits in others. It’s important to be reminded that there are situations when it’s wise to identify things in others that trouble you. Maybe you’re thinking about becoming friends with someone. But then, you observe them engaging in behaviors that make you feel uncomfortable. Your judgment may be telling you to avoid pursuing the friendship.

Listen to that internal judge at times like these. Just avoid getting carried away with being too judgmental or critical of others. You can become a vital, positive individual who focuses your efforts on constructing the life you desire. Letting go of the urge to judge others will provide you with the time and energy necessary to enhance your own life’s journey. Tune back into your own psyche and enjoy a rich life.

Can you silence a sexist through moral narcissism?

Can you silence a sexist through moral narcissism?

Narcissism is in the news again. The latest word comes from the Evening Standard, which takes quite an interesting perspective on the topic. 

“The self-described pick-up artist Julien Blanc is, by now, an international poster-boy for being a complete and utter prick. Heres a man who boasts of walking around in Japan grabbing the heads of passing women and pulling them towards his crotch: in Tokyo, if youre a white male, you can do what you want. He tweeted a graphic describing the power dynamics of domestic abuse and joked that it was a checklist for #howtomakeherstay. He takes money from credulous boys for boot-camp seminars on how to manipulate women into bed.”

Read the full article at the link below.

Are you in a narcissistic relationship? Read It’s Not Supposed to Hurt: Overcoming Toxic Love and Narcissism in Relationships. 


Read the story at the Evening Standard click here

Queen Bee QT: How to Get Tangled Hair Out of a Necklace

Queen Bee QT: How to Get Tangled Hair Out of a Necklace

Every time I turn around, I’m pulling my hair out of my necklaces. And I’m not going to lie to you–there have been a few times where I’ve just gone out and bought a new chain to replace one that just got too “hairy” to handle. But after learning this really simple trick, I realize how much money I’ve wasted. 

I probably should’ve already known this, but it never occurred to me. So after a quick Google search one particularly rushed afternoon, I discovered a few different options for getting tangled hair out of a necklace. 

Nair or other depilatory cream

I didn’t try the Nair because, honestly, I didn’t want to deal with the mess. But I’ve heard from several others that the stuff will take the hair out of any necklace in 6 minutes flat. 

Clippers, scissors, etc.

Several people advised going with the basics: scissors or toenail clippers used to clip the hair and then tug it out of the necklace with your fingers. Personally, I found this method to be one that would take too long and one that I was already finding fairly ineffective. 

Fire, fire, fire

Yes, it turns out that it’s all about the flames. A quick dip in the flame of a candle and a swipe of a clean, dry cloth and the necklace looked like brand new. Disclaimer: don’t try this at home unless you’re an adult over the age of 18 who understands that I cannot be responsible for any damage you may cause to your jewelry. This worked for me, and it may or may not work for you. 

Any tips for getting tangled hair out of necklaces? Share in the comments section, below. 


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