I often see men running around trying to please their wives or girlfriends to no avail. They love us women. They want nothing more than for us to be happy. Well, most men feel that way if they are in a healthy committed relationship. However, I often see men struggling to understand the woman they’re with. Here are five things you can do to win and keep your woman’s heart forever.
1. Honesty – This is simple, don’t lie. Just don’t. A woman is looking to find a mate who can also be a best friend. Someone she can be completely honest with. If you are not honest with her your relationship can suffer. This includes financial, medical, and emotional needs as well. If she asks you if her sweatpants look good on her and you hate sweatpants then honesty is the best policy.
2. Communicate – Take time out of each day to talk. Having a hard time knowing where to start? Try telling her about your day. Everything that happened. This is going to allow her to get to know you better as well as help you open up communication wise. If you already have a regular routine where you share your thoughts and feelings and something big happens it won’t be so hard to talk to her about it. Communication in every relationship is key.
3. Touch Her – Touch her all the time, and not just when you want to have sex. Touch her in the car. Touch her under the table at dinner. Touch her when you’re in bed together. Touch her in public. Touch her in front of the kids. Touch her in front of your friends. Show her there is a difference between wanting sex and showing her affection.
4. Acceptance – She is going to gain 5 pounds (or more) at some point in your relationship.
She most likely will never look like a Victoria Secret model.
She will get stretch marks during pregnancy. She is going to fall apart at the worst moments. She is going to be needy when you don’t have time to give her.
The key to all of this is acceptance. If you love her, truly love her, then none of these things will matter. You will accept her while finding the time to give her.
5. Trust – You must trust her. She must trust you. Without trust there is no foundation to your relationship. Trust with a woman is like building a house.
Each brick is a chance to build your house as strong as possible. If you break her trust then you have a missing brick and a hole in the side of your house.
Enough holes and the house isn’t sturdy. Make sure to only add bricks to your house and not take them away. This will make your relationship strong.
Man, I hate when I get sick. And it’s even worse when it’s my kids – that’s why we work on being healthy around here. Still, every now and then, there’s a cold or another minor illness we can’t control – and then we need relief.
One of the biggest issues is that sleep is important to recovery – and yet, it’s often nearly impossible to sleep with a cold or the flu.
You need more rest than usual when you have a cold or the flu, but coughing and congestion can leave you tossing and turning all night. Try these simple methods you can perform on your own or with a little help from your doctor and pharmacist. You’ll sleep better and strengthen your immune system.
10 DIY Strategies to Sleep Better When You Have a Cold
Adjust your pillow. Forget about the outdated advice to prop your head up with an extra pillow. You’ll wind up with a stiff neck, and pushing your chin towards your chest blocks your airways. Instead, arrange your pillows so that you elevate yourself starting at the waist. You could also try lifting the head of your bed by placing books or bricks underneath the legs.
Take a shower. Drain your sinuses with hot steam. Sitting near the shower is just as good as stepping inside if you want to keep your hair dry.
Moisturize the air. Heated indoor air can irritate your throat during the winter. Keep a pot of water simmering on the stove during waking hours. Set out bowls of water. Be sure to change them each day to prevent bacteria from growing.
Sip water. Begin hydrating from within. Aim for at least 64 ounces of water daily.
Drink tea. Stock up on decaffeinated tea. Choose chamomile and other herbal blends formulated to help make you drowsy.
Eat something. A stuffy nose can interfere with your appetite. Push yourself to keep eating. In addition to preserving your strength, you’re likely to sleep more on a full stomach.
Breathe through your nose. Of course, you’ll probably need to breathe through your mouth when your cold is at its peak. Still, returning to nasal breathing as soon as possible will reduce further irritation to your throat.
Cough less. Some coughs are productive when they expel mucus. On the other hand, it’s worthwhile to try to suppress prolonged and dry coughing that just makes your throat sore. Pause a second and check to see if you still feel like coughing.
Go to bed on time. The good news is that you may be sleeping more than you think even if you feel like you lay awake all night. Lie down and think about something boring. If you must get up, leave the TV and computer off.
Meditate regularly. Deep meditation provides many of the same benefits as sleep. A consistent practice will help you to focus your mind even when you have a fever.
How Your Doctor and Pharmacist Can Help
Check ingredients in cold remedies. Pick a cold medicine that treats your individual symptoms rather than dosing yourself with more chemicals than you need. Avoid ingredients that may make you jittery like pseudoephedrine and diphenhydramine.
Wear nasal strips. Start out with nasal strips that you wear on the outside of your nose to hold your passageways open. They provide relief without any adverse side effects, and they’re comfortable enough to wear in bed.
Use a decongestant spray. If you require something stronger, try a nasal spray. Look for saline solutions or formulas with oxymetazoline or xylometazline. Use sprays for only a few days at a time to avoid any rebound effect.
See your doctor. If symptoms persist or become more severe, talk with your doctor. Your health team can help you to avoid any complications.
A good night’s sleep will help you to feel more comfortable and recover faster. If you’re like most adults, you probably catch at least one cold a year, so help your body fight off infection day and night.
DIY diva Jenna LaFevor has served up 11 amazing ideas for kitchen organizing – and y’all know how much I love easy, cheap and beautiful in one package.
Check it out – here’s my favorite tip this week – and of course, it’s related to my mistress, my dark lover – my coffee!
After the jump, you’ll find the link to Jenna’s full post, and I highly recommend that you click on through and read it – I got some really great tips myself.
I’m not a naturally organized person. So I do what I need to do to hack my life. 🙂
Here’s the coffee tip! Enjoy!
How to Create a Coffee Station
“Create a coffee station.My coffee station has only been around for the past few months, and let me tell you it has made my morning coffee ritual so much smoother.
You see, I tend to want my morning coffee faster than the Keurig can make it. I know that’s like the purest definition of impatience. I corralled my K-Cups, sugar and spoons all on a cheap little IKEA tray to get my coffee in my mug as soon as possible.
The only thing that isn’t there is the creamer in the fridge. Obviously, it’s not realistic to leave the creamer sitting out overnight uncovered, so I use that pitcher for my spoons. The little Cafe Du Monde sign is a nice reminder of my favorite city in the world.”
So, I don’t use K-cups (I’m a purist who insists on fresh ground coffee from a burr mill grinder brewed in a good old fashioned Bunn, but we’ve all got our thang, right?) Anyhoo, I think a coffee station is just about necessary for all of us.
Like the whole life hacking thing? Check out some of the other ways I hack my life, right here.
Last week I asked you all to offer up your best weight-loss tips.
And boy, did you deliver.
I’ve compiled some of your best tips into a list of ideas, below, for those looking to lose weight (and that’s probably most of us).
It’s not a step-by-step guide, and there are contradictory tips — but there are some great ones here, so pick and choose those that will work best for you and give them a try.
Note: I couldn’t include all of them, or it would have taken me 3 days to do this.
I just picked some of the best, and combined many of them.
Some tips may be slightly redundant, but I like them, so I included them.
General weight loss tips
Remember to keep your goals in sight to motivate yourself.
5 Word Diet Plan – and the only one that works: Eat Less and Move More!
Doing the Zen Habits 30-day challenge to make something a habit really helps make exercise a no-brainer. The first step is getting yourself to do it, after that, the gains are much easier to make.
To be successful you need to change your life. You need to take control of the bad habits you have turned into an unhealthy life. You need to be excited about it too. And you have to believe that you can do it. Dreams turn into reality very quickly when you work hard.
Don’t try to lose weight. The number one indicator of excessive weight gain in the future is attempting to lose weight in the past. Don’t diet, it won’t last. Instead get up and go get more exercise.
Ultimately weight loss is about the balance between calories taken in and calories burned. Take the weight you want to be and the activity level that you maintain and calculate the number of calories that you should eat to maintain that weight. Now you have to eat fewer calories than this number, on average, over time to lose weight and achieve your target. Keep a food diary with full daily calorie calculations. Write down everything.
Never, never, never eat between the 3 main meals. Then eat what you want when it is time to eat.
Avoid processed food, or at least food where you can’t pronounce the ingredients. Keep it as natural as possible.
Stop watching the scale every day. If you weigh yourself, do it just once a week — as soon as you wake up, after you use the bathroom.
No matter how much you want a change in your life, nothing will happen until you DO something. You can talk about starting an exercise regiment and eating healthier foods all you want, but nothing will change until you START DOING IT.
Change your schedule, if possible. If you exercise in the afternoon but overeat while while watching TV at night, try exercising at night. Go to work earlier, come home later, schedule your walks during times you know you’re vulnerable to snacking. Switch things up to help break bad habits.
For people who want to lose 100+ pounds, dealing with the underlying issues of self medicating depression or anxiety is going to be a lot more effective then anything else. Feeling bad about being fat and trying to lose weight, or putting yourself in exercise situations you dont feel comfortable in are not going to really help until the underlying issues of using food to treat boredom or anxiety or depression. After treating this underlying problem, the good habits will come without nearly so much struggle.
Start small. Changing your lifestyle overnight is very bad for your body and your mind. You’ll get sick of eating oatmeal 3 times a day, or grapefruit. Your life should be enjoyable and healthy!
Tell people around you what you’re doing. This will keep you motivated to continue. Don’t ask for their support, but say “I’m on this new thing where I’m going to kick my butt at the gym/road/bike today and” whatever.
Be aware of self-deception. It can sneak up on you from any angle. Examples of food deceptions: Breaded/fried chicken breast does not constitute an optimally healthy protein source, compared to simple grilled chicken breast. Potatoes do not constitute a viable vegetable source (they are a carbohydrate source).
Derive your self worth from something other than a number on a scale and instead gift yourself a body that will function well to serve your noble life’s goals.
Never give up, even after you have failed a few times. When you fail, start over. Watch those TV programs like “The Biggest Loser” or “Celebrity Fit Club”, because they are great motivators.
Rewards! New clothes make awesome rewards for weight loss. Going out with friends (but not for anything food related) is a great reward.
Weigh yourself but also take your measurements. Sometimes your scale won’t budge but your waistline will.
Get enough sleep – that’s the first and most important step. Without sleep, it’s harder to plan your meals, to exercise, or to consciously eat healthy.
Tell others your goals. Not only will you then have someone else also expecting you to perform but you’ll gain a cheering section!
Focus on one thing at a time. Everything we do is based on habits. If you’ve got to both get into the habit of eating great AND exercising daily, you run a big risk of getting overwhelmed when you’re not seeing results or you slip a little.
Find motivation other than within yourself. Workout FOR somebody else that you care about (your kids, loved ones, friends etc.). When you don’t feel like working out, remember that you’re doing it for them.
Focus on health and NOT weight loss. It is far more important that you live a happy, healthy life than look good naked. You’ll thank yourself when you are 80 and still lead an active life.
Healthy eating tips
Water water water. It kick-starts your metabolism. Stop drinking soda.
Make one change at a time. Don’t cut everything out at once. For example, cut out fried foods. When you’re used to that, cut out soda, etc.
Lay off the junk food, except for one day a week where you can eat what you like – it’ll help you stick to it and you won’t have the temptation to eat junk all the time.
Eat according to the Glycemic Index, sticking with low and medium index foods.
Be mindful of what you are eating. Keep a food journal or diary. Seeing it in writing always gives it weight and helps reveal patterns or triggers.
Stop the evening eating. You don’t want to eat and then go to sleep. All those calories just sit there unused while you sleep.
Eat mostly raw fruits, veggies and nuts.
Brush your teeth early in the evening rather than just before bed. It keeps you from snacking if you’re not really hungry.
Cut wheat-flour based products out of your diet. Wheat is surprisingly easy to replace when you start thinking about it – rice, oats (still some gluten there, but a lot less), more vegetables.
Portion control used with a 20 minute wait time — wait 20 minutes after eating the sensible portions, and then see if you still feel hungry. Nine times out of ten, you won’t. If you do, get a little more.
Cut out sugar.
No fast food. Period.
Commit to one diet — and stick to it for life. Start by making a list of low-calorie foods that you love, that you find satisfying; and when you’re hungry make sure you eat lots of those foods.
If you’re a parent, don’t absorb “invisible” calories by eating your kids’ food.
Snack between meals – starving yourself for 6 or 7 hours at a time between lunch and dinner means you will overeat at dinner.
Eat slow and you will only eat as much as you need to be full.
Whenever you eat, think about how much food you would waste by overeating. Your body doesn’t *need* all the food that’s on your plate, why waste it? You could eat the leftovers for lunch the next day and save yourself some money, or you could split it with your loved one and have company while you eat. You could give it to the homeless guy down the block who REALLY needs it. Any reason you find not to waste that food is a good one.
Everything in moderation. If you really want French fries and a hamburger, or ice cream, or a cookie it’s OK to indulge a little occasionally. Key word is occasionally. Better to indulge a little, than to binge later.
Learn to cook, from scratch. That way, you control what you are eating.
Don’t buy into the idea of “diet” foods. It’s better to eat the original food that has been less processed and only eat less.
Observe your hunger patterns. Choose a bedtime that’s early enough to keep you from after-dinner snacking. Stick to that bed-time. If you must snack before bed, have a something small and healthful. Maybe a tiny portion of whole grain cereal with milk.
Eat lots of fiber, it’s surprisingly filling compared to that cupcake.
Eat as soon after you get up as possible. This gets your metabolism working at a higher rate sooner in the day.
Cut out alcohol or reduce your intake to one or two glasses a week.
If you are hungry between meals, try eating a small portion of food that is high in protein. It can be more effective to eat one piece of cheese or some yoghurt or nuts than to eat bread or crackers or other snack foods.
Go to bed early and get up early. If you stay up late, you will overeat, guaranteed. It doesn’t matter if you are a night person; change into a morning person. When you go to bed early, you don’t think about food all night.
Instead of counting calories, concentrate on reducing your fat intake. Fat that you eat converts more readily into body fat than does protein or carbohydrate.
Try to enjoy your food, eat it slowly and consciously.
Only diet on weekdays. Don’t binge on weekends, but save two days a week to eat the yummy things. Also, because many people really can’t break that chocolate addiction, calculate one treat every day into your calories.
Positive change is easier than negative change. Instead of thinking of foods that are “bad” and that you feel like you need to cut out, think about all the new recipes and foods you will get to try if you start experimenting with more vegetables, more beans, more spices, etc.
Don’t count calories after you each them, count before.
Create a routine for what you eat – for a month, do not think of food as something to be enjoyed, think of it as fuel.
Take one of the three meals a day, and make it healthier (veggies, fruits, whole grains, etc.). Combine this with drinking ONLY water when at work, and it’s quite the effective method to lose a few pounds.
Eat a varied diet. Only, half your usual portions.
Eat nothing that you have not bought yourself, cooked yourself, and cleaned up after. This way laziness works in your favor. If you don’t feel like going to the store, or if you have stuff but don’t feel like cooking it or cleaning up afterwards, you are less likely to eat.
If you’re a stress eater, try sunflower or pumpkin seeds. Lots of chewing, not many calories. Just don’t spit the seeds on the floor.
Reduce the intake of three white things – white flour (all purpose flour), salt and sugar. Get rid of white flour completely if possible.
Go backpacking. Carrying a heavy pack and walking around a lot will help you shed a lot of pounds.
Exercise 3 times per week.
Exercise: any kind any time. Sure there are better times and better exercises for fat burning, but they all beat sitting on the couch.
Cardiovascular training in the morning before you eat breakfast. This forces your body to utilize stored body fat for energy rather than carbohydrates, since you are in a carb-depleted state after having not eaten for 8-10 hours.
Regular aerobic exercise helps, for a period of at least 40 minutes.
If you can’t run, start slow by walking for 9 minutes and jog for 1 minute. Do that a couple of times and then slowly exchange the minutes walking for minutes running.
Buy a pedometer and try to get 10,000 steps per day in. That’s about 5 miles +/- depending on your stride length.
Walk everywhere (carrying a baby while you walk also helps a lot).
Swim, swim, swim.
Find fun exercise. Join a softball team, commute to work on a bike, whatever. Your strategy should be time-sensitive – only make choices you can see yourself committing to for years, be it gym, dieting, whatever – temporary won’t work.
If you are resistant to exercising, consider volunteer labor. Walk dogs at the animal shelter. (Find a shelter at Petfiinder.com. Do beach or riverside clean-ups with a local environmental group. Volunteer on building and repair projects.)
Replace your least favorite TV show with mild calisthenics for 30 or so minutes.
Get an active dog! They will force you to get outside every day, and they make the best exercise companions.
Make friends (if you haven’t already) with very physically active people. If you have very active friends, you will be exercising without even noticing it because you will be having fun with friends.
Do squats while brushing the back sides of your teeth and calf rises while brushing the fronts. Then you get in at lease some exercise and also brush long enough.)
Take the stairs. Walk or bike ride that short distance instead of driving.
Use those multi-colored stars on the calendar for each day you’ve achieved your goal — exercise, diet, whatever it is. Gives you something, small as it may be, to look forward to.
Start walking outside to get fresh air, which translates into better mood. If rains, use treadmill. But walk fast, no sissy stuff.