I’m not going to lie to you. I am kind of awful when it comes to procrastinating. Well, that’s not entirely true.
I’m actually really good at it.
But as always, I’m a work in progress and I’m doing what I can to evolve. Since this is one of my areas that, shall we say, requires a little attention in the whole evolution area.
On the plus side, I know I’m not alone. So let’s figure this out together, shall we?
Why Do We Procrastinate So Hard All the Time, Anyway?
Imagine how much we would all get done if we never procrastinated. It’s pretty incredible, right?
Procrastination is the greatest barrier to achieving goals and getting things accomplished. Time is a valuable resource, and procrastination is the greatest enemy of time.
Those who procrastinate the most are also the least effective – I can definitely vouch for that. When I’m “on-task” and getting stuff done like I should, I’m a freaking rockstar. But when I’m in procrastination mode? I have lots of good intentions but very few actual results. Feel me?
Now, let me ask you a couple of quick perspective questions.
Does your most successful friend procrastinate a lot? How about your least successful friend?
I can probably answer those questions for you, right? Either way, we can all acknowledge that waiting until the last possible moment to complete a task eliminates the possibility of finding the most elegant solution. You’re doomed to experience mediocre results, assuming you’re able to complete the task on time at all.
There are several possible reasons we procrastinate:
1. Fear of failure. This is perhaps the most common cause of procrastination. After all, you can’t fail if you don’t try. Unfortunately, you can’t accomplish anything without taking action. If you find your life has been stuck in the same place for a long time, you’re most likely afraid of failing. So you know what we’ve gotta do right?
Reframe the idea of failure and realize that it’s one of many possible results. You can choose to learn from that result and apply it to your next attempt. Repeating this process ensures success.
Expect to fail. The more often you fail, the more quickly you’ll reach your goals. Avoid allowing an irrational fear to become an obstacle to getting things done.
2. The need for perfection. Noting in life is perfect. The desire for perfection results in procrastination. Decide how good it really needs to be. There will never be a perfect moment or opportunity. Your results will never be perfect. Nothing needs to be perfect, so just get busy.
3. Habits that don’t support getting started. Getting started is the hardest part. Some of us have effective habits for getting started on new projects or unappetizing tasks. Others have great habits for putting off these same activities.
Develop the habit of taking immediate action on any unpleasant tasks. It can be small and simple, but get started! You’ll often find that a small amount of momentum is enough to do more work than you initially intended.
4. A lack of self-discipline. Self-discipline is a valuable commodity, especially for the creation of new habits. Use your self-discipline wisely. It’s always in short supply. Use it to develop the habits that will overcome procrastination.
5. Fear of success. You might think a fear of success is ridiculous, but it’s very common. Success carries several burdens. You become more visible and have more responsibility when you’re successful. You are the victim of higher expectations in the future.
Tell yourself that you can overcome the pitfalls of success. Avoid letting a fear of success lead to procrastination.
6. The inability to deal effectively with discomfort. At the most basic level, procrastination results when the thought of taking action results in more discomfort than you’re capable of dealing with at that moment. It’s only when the pain of not taking action becomes greater than the pain of avoidance that things get done.
Some of us are more influenced by that discomfort than others. With practice, you can learn to take action even in the face of great discomfort.
Start small and tackle those tasks that are only mildly unpleasant. You’ll find your resistance to those uncomfortable feelings will increase.
Eliminating procrastination from your life results in getting more things done. And those things will be done at a much higher level.
Yeah, I know. We already know this stuff. But we also know that if you procrastinate excessively, your entire life suffers. Procrastination results in stress and poor results – and friends, we are going for happy and awesome results. So it’s time to take control of our emotions and rid oursevles of the tendency to procrastinate.
The results will be worth the effort, I promise. 🙂
Hey there, you got a minute? Let me ask you a few quick questions. You don’t have to share the answers with me. Mostly, I want you to answer these questions for yourself. Ready? Take a deep breath, this is serious stuff, friend.
Do you feel like you’re not good enough?
Always feel like someone else’s needs are more important than your own?
Does it sometimes feel like you’re not really a “REAL” person?
Does someone in your life make you feel crazy?
Do you sometimes doubt your own abilities?
How about your own sanity – do you question it?
Ever (sort of) joke that you’re “dead inside” and that nothing bothers you?
Narcissistic Abuse in Toxic Relationships Devastates You
Just like the psychological and emotional injuries that are a result of being in a toxic relationship with a narcissist, you can’t tell that a person is stuck in a narcissistic relationship unless you happen to be a personal witness to the behavior of the narcissist. You can’t always see the scars of a victim of narcissism.
Narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder can wreak havoc on the lives of anyone involved with the people affected by these psychological conditions.
Whether you’re a family member, friend, or romantic partner, becoming a “narcissistic extension” leads to your becoming the primary source of narcissistic supply.
I’ve got something to share with you. As someone who has survived and thrived despite experiences I wrote a book that offers insight and real, actionable steps for overcoming toxic love and narcissism in your relationship, and today through April 30, 2015, I’m offering it for free on Amazon.com’s Kindle store. Here’s what you need to know.
This book offers an in-depth guide to surviving and thriving during and after living with a narcissist, in whatever degree necessary for your life. You’ll learn to recognize narcissism in those around you, plus how to identify and stop typical manipulation techniques, such as gaslighting, in their tracks.
Find out how to start focusing on what you want and need first, and learn how to stop feeling like you’re not good enough. You’ll find out how to choose your new reality and sharpen your skills for coping with anxiety and stress.
Plus: You’ll get two supplemental appendixes, including one that offers a series of Affirmations & Reflections to help reinforce the lessons learned, plus a series of letters and personal advice on narcissism and much more.
Get help with narcissistic abuse recovery, right now.
The QueenBeeing SPANily, Official – We consider this to be the best narcissistic abuse recovery support group on the web. Offers several subgroups and features a vigilant, compassionate admin team full of trained coaches and survivors, supporting more than 12k members. SPAN is an acronym created by Angie Atkinson that stands for Support for People Affected by Narcissistic abuse in toxic relationships.
Other Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support Groups– We also have separate groups for each stage in your narcissistic abuse recovery, as well as some for those who have moved past recovery and are evolving into the next stage of their own life. Survivors have unique and individual needs, even when they’ve moved on – so we’re still here for you.
One-on-One Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Coaching – If you prefer to get more personalized support in your recovery, you might like to schedule a session with one of our coaches to plan and execute your own narcissistic abuse recovery plan.
Find a Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Therapist – If you’re looking for a therapist for narcissistic abuse recovery, either because you cannot afford coaching and want to use your health insurance or because you have additional issues you need to address that do not fall within the realm of coaching, you will want to find the right therapist for you – and as far as we’re concerned, that therapist must understand what you’ve been through. This page offers assistance to help you do exactly that.
“When I’m working in the real world with real women and we’re shopping, we find that fashion seems to end when you get any larger than a size 12. How ridiculous is that?” ~Tim Gunn in a Huffington Postinterview(more…)
“There is a fountain of youth: it is your mind, your talents, the creativity you bring to your life and the lives of people you love. When you learn to tap this source, you will truly have defeated age.” ~Sophia Loren
The lovely Ms. Loren put it quite eloquently, if you ask me. But if you wanted to tap into a fountain of youth on the physical side, how can you maintain a young appearance without going under the knife?
Here are six things you can do to look younger instantly.
* Smile more. Confidence is sexy and sexy is youthful. Whiten your teeth, or get veneers if necessary. Whiter teeth will make you look younger. Once you have the gorgeous smile you’ve always wanted, put it to good use and you’ll get more attention than you did 10 years ago.
* Minimize your makeup. You might think that heavy foundation will cover your wrinkles, but it does just the opposite. Caking it on causes the makeup to settle into wrinkles and exaggerate them. The same is true for eye shadow. A smart rule of thumb: less is more.
* Save yourself from the sun. Those UV rays are our enemy when it comes to aging. Always use a moisturizer with SPF 15 or above. Look for skin creams containing antioxidants like vitamin C and E for increased protection.
* Sleep. They don’t call it “beauty sleep” for nothing. If you don’t get enough sleep (about seven hours every night), your metabolism and hormone production can be hindered, inviting the early effects of age.
* Improve your posture. Taking calcium will help prevent osteoporosis, but a slumping stoop will age you immediately. Strengthen your core – those abdominal muscles – for a straighter back and taller body. Pilates is a perfect way to improve your posture, giving you a longer, leaner look.
* Evaluate your wardrobe. Dressing younger doesn’t have to mean super low-rise jeans and belly shirts. A casual, yet tailored look will keep you from appearing fussy and out-of-style. A great T-shirt with well-fitting pants and great accessories creates a comfortable, yet hip everyday “uniform” for a casual dresser.