I’m not going to lie to you. I am kind of awful when it comes to procrastinating. Well, that’s not entirely true.
I’m actually really good at it.
But as always, I’m a work in progress and I’m doing what I can to evolve. Since this is one of my areas that, shall we say, requires a little attention in the whole evolution area.
On the plus side, I know I’m not alone. So let’s figure this out together, shall we?
Why Do We Procrastinate So Hard All the Time, Anyway?
Imagine how much we would all get done if we never procrastinated. It’s pretty incredible, right?
Procrastination is the greatest barrier to achieving goals and getting things accomplished. Time is a valuable resource, and procrastination is the greatest enemy of time.
Those who procrastinate the most are also the least effective – I can definitely vouch for that. When I’m “on-task” and getting stuff done like I should, I’m a freaking rockstar. But when I’m in procrastination mode? I have lots of good intentions but very few actual results. Feel me?
Now, let me ask you a couple of quick perspective questions.
Does your most successful friend procrastinate a lot? How about your least successful friend?
I can probably answer those questions for you, right? Either way, we can all acknowledge that waiting until the last possible moment to complete a task eliminates the possibility of finding the most elegant solution. You’re doomed to experience mediocre results, assuming you’re able to complete the task on time at all.
There are several possible reasons we procrastinate:
1. Fear of failure. This is perhaps the most common cause of procrastination. After all, you can’t fail if you don’t try. Unfortunately, you can’t accomplish anything without taking action. If you find your life has been stuck in the same place for a long time, you’re most likely afraid of failing. So you know what we’ve gotta do right?
Reframe the idea of failure and realize that it’s one of many possible results. You can choose to learn from that result and apply it to your next attempt. Repeating this process ensures success.
Expect to fail. The more often you fail, the more quickly you’ll reach your goals. Avoid allowing an irrational fear to become an obstacle to getting things done.
2. The need for perfection. Noting in life is perfect. The desire for perfection results in procrastination. Decide how good it really needs to be. There will never be a perfect moment or opportunity. Your results will never be perfect. Nothing needs to be perfect, so just get busy.
3. Habits that don’t support getting started. Getting started is the hardest part. Some of us have effective habits for getting started on new projects or unappetizing tasks. Others have great habits for putting off these same activities.
Develop the habit of taking immediate action on any unpleasant tasks. It can be small and simple, but get started! You’ll often find that a small amount of momentum is enough to do more work than you initially intended.
4. A lack of self-discipline. Self-discipline is a valuable commodity, especially for the creation of new habits. Use your self-discipline wisely. It’s always in short supply. Use it to develop the habits that will overcome procrastination.
5. Fear of success. You might think a fear of success is ridiculous, but it’s very common. Success carries several burdens. You become more visible and have more responsibility when you’re successful. You are the victim of higher expectations in the future.
Tell yourself that you can overcome the pitfalls of success. Avoid letting a fear of success lead to procrastination.
6. The inability to deal effectively with discomfort. At the most basic level, procrastination results when the thought of taking action results in more discomfort than you’re capable of dealing with at that moment. It’s only when the pain of not taking action becomes greater than the pain of avoidance that things get done.
Some of us are more influenced by that discomfort than others. With practice, you can learn to take action even in the face of great discomfort.
Start small and tackle those tasks that are only mildly unpleasant. You’ll find your resistance to those uncomfortable feelings will increase.
Eliminating procrastination from your life results in getting more things done. And those things will be done at a much higher level.
Yeah, I know. We already know this stuff. But we also know that if you procrastinate excessively, your entire life suffers. Procrastination results in stress and poor results – and friends, we are going for happy and awesome results. So it’s time to take control of our emotions and rid oursevles of the tendency to procrastinate.
The results will be worth the effort, I promise. 🙂
Hey there, you got a minute? Let me ask you a few quick questions. You don’t have to share the answers with me. Mostly, I want you to answer these questions for yourself. Ready? Take a deep breath, this is serious stuff, friend.
Do you feel like you’re not good enough?
Always feel like someone else’s needs are more important than your own?
Does it sometimes feel like you’re not really a “REAL” person?
Does someone in your life make you feel crazy?
Do you sometimes doubt your own abilities?
How about your own sanity – do you question it?
Ever (sort of) joke that you’re “dead inside” and that nothing bothers you?
Narcissistic Abuse in Toxic Relationships Devastates You
Just like the psychological and emotional injuries that are a result of being in a toxic relationship with a narcissist, you can’t tell that a person is stuck in a narcissistic relationship unless you happen to be a personal witness to the behavior of the narcissist. You can’t always see the scars of a victim of narcissism.
Narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder can wreak havoc on the lives of anyone involved with the people affected by these psychological conditions.
Whether you’re a family member, friend, or romantic partner, becoming a “narcissistic extension” leads to your becoming the primary source of narcissistic supply.
I’ve got something to share with you. As someone who has survived and thrived despite experiences I wrote a book that offers insight and real, actionable steps for overcoming toxic love and narcissism in your relationship, and today through April 30, 2015, I’m offering it for free on Amazon.com’s Kindle store. Here’s what you need to know.
This book offers an in-depth guide to surviving and thriving during and after living with a narcissist, in whatever degree necessary for your life. You’ll learn to recognize narcissism in those around you, plus how to identify and stop typical manipulation techniques, such as gaslighting, in their tracks.
Find out how to start focusing on what you want and need first, and learn how to stop feeling like you’re not good enough. You’ll find out how to choose your new reality and sharpen your skills for coping with anxiety and stress.
Plus: You’ll get two supplemental appendixes, including one that offers a series of Affirmations & Reflections to help reinforce the lessons learned, plus a series of letters and personal advice on narcissism and much more.
Get help with narcissistic abuse recovery, right now.
The QueenBeeing SPANily, Official – We consider this to be the best narcissistic abuse recovery support group on the web. Offers several subgroups and features a vigilant, compassionate admin team full of trained coaches and survivors, supporting more than 12k members. SPAN is an acronym created by Angie Atkinson that stands for Support for People Affected by Narcissistic abuse in toxic relationships.
Other Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support Groups– We also have separate groups for each stage in your narcissistic abuse recovery, as well as some for those who have moved past recovery and are evolving into the next stage of their own life. Survivors have unique and individual needs, even when they’ve moved on – so we’re still here for you.
One-on-One Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Coaching – If you prefer to get more personalized support in your recovery, you might like to schedule a session with one of our coaches to plan and execute your own narcissistic abuse recovery plan.
Find a Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Therapist – If you’re looking for a therapist for narcissistic abuse recovery, either because you cannot afford coaching and want to use your health insurance or because you have additional issues you need to address that do not fall within the realm of coaching, you will want to find the right therapist for you – and as far as we’re concerned, that therapist must understand what you’ve been through. This page offers assistance to help you do exactly that.
“When I’m working in the real world with real women and we’re shopping, we find that fashion seems to end when you get any larger than a size 12. How ridiculous is that?” ~Tim Gunn in a Huffington Postinterview(more…)
“I’m an introvert… I love being by myself, love being outdoors, love taking a long walk with my dogs and looking at the trees, flowers, the sky.” ~Audrey Hepburn
Understanding An Introvert: 5b Things we wish you knew
Being an introvert is not an easy task. Sometimes the people around us suffer because they don’t know how to deal with introverts.
Here are some tips and tricks to being a great friend or family member to an introvert.
1. Acceptance – I’m not going to leave my house if I don’t want to. When you call me up and ask me to go and I say “no” then you won’t get me to leave. Don’t beg and plead and argue with me. I don’t want to go so I’m not going to. Please understand this instead of going out of your way to belittle me since I don’t want to leave the house yet again. I need you to accept this is who I am.
2. Don’t forget me – Just because I say “no” I’m not going doesn’t mean I want you to forget about me the next time you plan an outing or event. I know I missed a lot of stuff but I don’t want to be excluded completely.
3. My house is best – Want to hang out? Come on over. Make sure to call me first though. More than likely I am not going to meet you at a bar but I am almost always willing to have you over for a few drinks and a bon fire in the back yard. Just don’t bring anyone else without me knowing.
4. Silence is okay – Know that my silence is not a bad thing. I am not insulting you. I like you. I am just used to being quiet. I like quiet. It’s part of being an introvert.
5. Outings are hard – I am tired every time after I go to a public function. When I pick my kids up from school and have to talk to more than one person I am tired. It takes a great deal of energy to make myself do certain things, and being in public is one of them.