“Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all.” ~Dale Carnegie
Someone sent me this old pic of me taken back when I was 18. Take a look – hilarious right? Yeah, I was a band geek. I’m totally okay with it. What you don’t see in that photo is that I marched percussion that year in marching band. But I digress.
When I first looked at the pic and into my own face, I almost didn’t recognize myself. On so many levels, I’m a completely different person. Since that photo was taken, I’ve been through a lot of years and a lot of life.
Here I am with my youngest two kids the other day, just for a bit of perspective on the years. 🙂
Anyhoo, as I looked into my own clueless 18-year-old face and saw all of this, I thought to myself, gosh, the things I would tell you if I could… and the ways they would totally change your life!”
And so, this post was born. So what would I say to myself if I could?
I like to joke that I’d have been dangerous if I had known “what I know now” when I was 18. And every now and then, someone asks me exactly what I mean by that.
What I mean is, and I’m only halfway joking, that if I understood the things I do today about people, life and beauty at the age of 18, I might have been too powerful for my own good.
SO what does THAT mean? Well, let me break it down for you. If given the opportunity, here are 10 things I wish I could go back and tell my 18 – year-old self that could have helped me get where I wanted to be much, much faster.
1. You’re already enough. Stop caring what anyone else thinks and just be yourself already. Turns out? You’re pretty cool. And you’re a LOT better looking than you think – a lot of what makes people look hot is illusion. You’ll become a master of it one day.
2. Here’s how to stop the tummy aches. You’ll never believe me now, but one day you’ll understand that getting so scared that you get sick to your stomach is actually part of what’s causing all of your problems. See, when you let yourself get so focused on negative thoughts that you can’t see the good stuff, something called the Law of Attraction causes more of the negative stuff to be pulled toward you like a magnet. This is not hocus pocus. It’s legitimate and as you grow older, you’ll see it for yourself. Learning this now can change your life significantly.
3. Your dream is real. It WILL happen, so don’t give up. You will become a successful writer. Someday you’ll have many, many books published. And you’ll make your living from your writing.
4. You are destined for the beautiful life. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise and don’t believe anyone who tells you to lower your expectations and that you don’t deserve to have the very best in your life. It is the belief that you can’t have something that ensures it – don’t forget that.
5. There is nothing wrong with you. It’s okay to be pretty and girly and smart and strong all at the same time. You can even love glitter, shiny and sparkly and watch sitcoms and STILL be awesome. Yup. So stop trying to pretend you’re anything you’re not. You, specifically, have a huge amount of creative power and if you learn this now and stop doubting yourself, you cannot lose. Whatever you are is okay as long as you are staying safe, healthy and legal. Embrace yourself and trust your instincts. They are spot on.
6. Big boobs aren’t as awesome when you get older. TRUST ME! Someday you’ll appreciate the fact that you never got out of a B cup. I PROMISE. Also, random comforting fact about the future: the size of the breast does not in any way affect the quantity of milk you’ll produce for your babies one day. But less bulk makes for easier nursing for all involved. Get yourself some padded bras and move on. You’re welcome.
7. Let that bright light shine and stop trying to cover it up with what you THINK is desirable or expected. Being dark and disturbed is not required to be a successful writer or artist. It’s also soooooo much less attractive than you realize. Stop it and admit you love pink already. It looks really good on you. And baggy grunge clothes don’t look good on anyone – especially you.
8. Give yourself a big hug and apologize for all the mean things you think about yourself – then stop doing that. And speaking of which, stop calling yourself fat. You’re not fat. But you will be if you keep focusing on that. Instead focus on feeling good in your body and moving your ass. When you’re talking to yourself, don’t say anything that you wouldn’t tell your best friend about herself. Yes, it definitely does matter.
9. Crazy ain’t sexy, and you ain’t crazy. You aren’t bipolar or obsessive compulsive or anything else. You just don’t fully understand the world and the people who live in it yet because you’re just getting started. But tell your mom to have you checked for ADD. Yes, girls can have it. And you do – learning this at 18 could change everything.
10. Hold on, your time is coming. You are a whole and worthy person with valuable and important things to do in the world. Stop doubting your ideas and your abilities and embrace the truth of who you are. Life will get so much better.
Okay, now it’s your turn. What would YOU say to your 18-year-old self if you could? Share your thoughts in the comments section, below, or hit me up on Facebook!
“Wealth is the ability to fully experience life.” ~Henry David Thoreau
I’ve been poor in my life. I mean like REALLY poor – so poor I had to get help with paying rent and bills and even buying groceries once or twice.
It was tough, y’all. I’m not going to lie. It was absolute agony and I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy, that feeling of “OMFG WHAT IF I CAN’T AFFORD TO STAY ALIVE?” – it really grates on a person’s soul, if you know what I mean.
And I found myself unable to think of anything else more than once – which was absolutely the wrong way to see things and certainly extended my financial misery.
But with hard work and intentionally choosing my path over the years, life has drastically improved. Not only is money less of a sore spot, but in general, I’m much happier.
Is this because I’m not so broke? You might think so. But I propose that because I’m intentionally happier, I’m doing better financially.
But what does having money have to do with anything that matters, anyway? Do you REALLY need money to be happy?
Why It May be Important to You to Have Money
Few topics elicit such a wide range of opinions and emotions as wealth. It seems that we either pursue wealth with reckless abandon or downplay the importance of having money altogether. While money isn’t the only thing that matters, there are few substitutes for those areas of life where money excels.
Ask yourself a few questions about your beliefs and perceptions on money.
What are your current beliefs regarding money and wealth?
Do you believe that money is the root of all evil?
Do you really want to be rich?
Do you respect those that have “made it” and become wealthy?
Have your beliefs regarding wealth affected your finances?
How can having money make your life better?
Obviously, having money does have its advantages, and sure, we all know what they are. But just in case you’ve got any doubt, let’s break it down, shall we?
1. Money can help you solve challenges. The fact that other qualities like love, family, friendships, and spirituality are important doesn’t minimize the importance of wealth. Consider the many challenges that money solves quickly and easily.
Start your own business
Buy a new home
Get out of a bad relationship
Your child wants to attend an Ivy League school
A desire to own a motorcycle
2. Money gives you freedom. Imagine that you have enough money that you can quit your job and spend your days doing what truly fulfills you. You can live anywhere you choose and do nearly anything you desire. Money and wealth increase the options available to you. How would you spend each day if you didn’t have to go to work?
3. Money offers you security. Wealth provides security in different forms. It provides financial security against negative financial events, such as unexpected care repairs or medical bills. You can also better secure your home and care for your health. Money provides a safeguard in so many ways.
4. Money means you don’t have to do stuff you don’t want to do. Let’s just pretend you aren’t REALLY thrilled about certain daily responsibilities. If you have plenty of money and you hate cleaning the house, mowing the lawn, shopping, doing your taxes, or even driving, you can hire someone else to do these for you. BOOM!
5. Money helps you help others. When you have more money than necessary to take care of your basic needs, you have the option of applying the excess to enhancing the lives of others. Giving money to charity is one way to accomplish this. You could also provide funds in a more direct manner to those in need, including friends and family. I’ve found that anytime I can help someone else, it always comes back to me in the most beautiful ways. Give it a shot.
6. Money lets you take a well-deserved break. Wealth gives you the option of calling a timeout and realigning yourself. Life can become a series of projects or adventures with a healthy break in-between. The option to literally work hard and play hard exists.
If you want to “break” like a rich person, think BIG! There’s a difference between the typical idea of playing hard and the “playing hard” options available to the wealthy. There’s a difference between partying on the weekends after a long week at the office and spending a month in Hawaii learning to surf.
7. Money gives you status. This goes beyond impressing the neighbors. The wealthy have advantages socially, politically and even legally, to a certain extent. We all know that there are many advantages, considerations and niceties extended to the wealthy that are commonly unavailable to the average person. Why shouldn’t you get your share too?
It’s true that money doesn’t solve all of life’s problems, but it can certainly make everything less difficult – and help you solve many challenges. Plus, having money can offer a wide variety of opportunities that you might not otherwise have.
The freedom that comes with wealth and the opportunity to help others are perhaps the most satisfying advantages, don’t you think?
If any of these advantages are included in your life goals, then being wealthy would make them possible. Seek further education in the mindset and skills that could bring you wealth and work on them each day. Consistent action toward your goals over time yields positive results!
Artificial nails are the perfect solution for many women, especially those who want a manicured look 24/7.
Plus, they are a perfect solution for replacing a broken nail. They are great as a temporary fix until your own nails grow out. And they are there – instantly.
Even better, you don’t need to get an expensive salon manicure to get the look if you’re on a budget.
Many artificial nails on the market these days have a DIY factor and can be applied yourself at home.
If you select the right size and do something creative to eliminate the plastic look, they can appear entirely natural and convincing.
Gel and acrylic nails can be applied professionally in the salon, or you can apply the press-on styles at home using widely-available nail enhancement kits. They come with their own adhesive and are easily cut and shaped to the style you want.
And lately I’ve seen plenty of at-home acrylics and gel nail kits too.
Easy DIY Plan for At-Home Manicure with Artificial Nails
So, assuming you want to fit the nails yourself, how do you get started? Here are the six simple stages:
1. First, clean and dry your own natural nails. Then file and shape them in preparation for attaching the artificial nails.
2. Then – very important – choose the right size artificial nail for each finger. File the edges if necessary to get an exact fit.
3. Now spread a thin layer of nail adhesive over the whole area of your natural nail that will be in contact with the artificial nail.
4. Position the artificial nail such that it is very close to, but not touching, the cuticle. Then apply a light pressure to the top for a short time to allow the glue to take hold and set.
5. Once the nail is set firmly in position, file off any rough edges.
6. Apply two coats of nail varnish of the color you require, then finish off with a layer of topcoat to seal it.
It’s recommended that you don’t wear artificial nails for more than a few weeks at a time – say a month maximum. Then remove them and give your natural nails a chance to breathe and refresh their growth.
It’s also important that you always use proper nail adhesive and never just ordinary glue you might find around the house.
To remove artificial nails, soak them in a non-acetone polish remover until they start to dissolve and come away.
So, you need or want a woman to do something for you, but you’re not sure how to make it happen.
Lucky for you, I’m one of those people who does not believe in secrets – and as a woman, I totally understand how us girls work.
Whether you’re a man or a woman, there has probably been some time in your life when you needed or wanted a woman to do something for you. Or maybe you just wanted her to do something for her own good.
Whatever the case, you may have failed to get what you wanted for a number of reasons. But I’ve got great news for you: if you make a few small tweaks to your own behavior, you can get almost any woman to do almost anything you want (within reason).
Check yo’self before you wreck yo’self
Women rarely respond well to demands, ultimatums or faith-based manipulation. Those who do may have been trained to do so, but it doesn’t do their souls any good when they bend against their will.
It’s better to help a woman understand what you need or want and why. Then she can understand your goal or intention, and that means she can understand a big, important thing for every woman: how she can help you reach that goal. Which brings me to my next point.
Ask her to help you
Few women can resist someone she likes or loves who needs her help. This is even true with strangers in many cases. We can’t help it – we are wired to take care of people.
Don’t go all feminist on me now. This is not about that. The fact is that as humans, men and women are wired to survive and to carry on the species.
Obviously that means different things for men and women, so the caretaker urge we women have is simply an instinct we can choose to nurture or not. Most of us tend to just go with it because it still works for us today.
Treat her like someone who matters to you
Here’s the bottom line on talking to women and getting anywhere, ever.
Do NOT, I repeat, do not treat her like anything less than your equal. I don’t care if she’s your wife, your sister, mom, boss…ever your daughter…whatever. Treat her as if she is as important as you. At the very least.
Give her a little pedestal to stand on and she might really shine.
If nothing else, just remember this: No woman will respond positively to someone who treats her disrespectfully. At least none who have self-respect (a super-important part of what makes any woman particularly hot, on an unrelated note).
Tell her she’s pretty/smart/amazing
Look, not gonna lie to you. Us women? We love a good compliment, especially when it’s genuine. Don’t try blowing sunshine up our asses now. Understand that we know when you’re lying.
But find stuff to compliment us on and watch how we light up. When you’ve got us all warm and fuzzy? We are always willing to be more generous with our favors.
Tell others how awesome she is
Because honestly, next to being complimented directly, hearing that someone thinks we are awesome enough to be bragged about to others is the best feeling in the world.
That makes us like or love you that much more. The more we feel connected to you by positive feelings and experiences, the more we want to make your life easier too.
Do her a favor once in awhile too.
You know how we (women) never forget when you hurt our feelings? Well we don’t forget favors either. And a lot of us like to pay it forward. The rest, conscious or otherwise, will automatically be a little friendlier and more generous with someone who has offered us the same kindness.
It doesn’t have to be big, either. Open the door for her. Help her carry on the groceries or the stuff for the big presentation she’s giving.
Watch her kids for a few hours and give her some freetime. Cook her dinner one night and save her the trouble. Take out her trash, do her dishes or mop her floor. Clean her closet or walk her dog. You know what she needs done. Do it and make her feel appreciated.
Of course, bigger favors are always appreciated as well. Don’t get me wrong.
Bottom line: never be a jerk
Jerks come in all flavors and they can be men or women. In this case, if you ever want a woman to be available to help you when you need or want it, treat her with respect all of the time.
Don’t talk badly about her to other people and don’t talk to her like she’s anything less than important.
Don’t take out your anger on her, don’t be rude or short with her. And if it happens, be a grown-up and apologize. Women are often happy to forgive when a genuine apology is accompanied by a positive change in behavior.
One more thing: JUST ASK!
Communication is so important to everyone – but women are especially wired for it. So if you need something, all you have to do, so long as you are generally a decent human being who treats her with respect, is just ask.
Don’t try to give her hints or clues or talk around the subject. Just say what you want. That’s probably where you should start, actually.