Can the law of attraction make you sexy?
“There is no cosmetic for beauty like happiness.” ~ Lady Blessington
Take the Narcissistic Personality Inventory Test Here
Do you or does someone you know meet the DSM-5 criteria for someone with narcissistic personality disorder? If so, you might be interested in taking the NPI test.
The Narcissistic Personality Inventory (NPI) is the test most used in psychological research of narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder. While there are actually several versions of the NPI, this 40-question, “forced-choice” version is the one most researchers prefer. Based on the DSM clinical criteria for narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), the NPI means to measure these features in the general population.
Warning: this test is considered controversial because it’s possible to score high even if you aren’t a toxic narcissist – because, based on the test, ALL narcissism is “bad” – but in reality, there is such a thing as a healthy amount of narcissism.
Take the Narcissistic Personality Inventory Test Here
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You may prefer an interactive version of the NPI, which you can find here. That is what makes the test so controversial for some: it’s possible to score high even if you aren’t a toxic narcissist – because, based on the test, ALL narcissism is “bad” – but in reality, there is such a thing as a healthy amount of narcissism.
Researchers say that people who score high on the NPI are more likely to cheat in game-play and romantic relationships. They also put themselves before others by taking more resources for themselves and leave fewer for others, and they value material things above people. They also might be obsessively concerned with their outer appearance – unless, of course, they’re a covert type of narcissist.
Narcissistic Personality Inventory Test With Scoring Guide: 40 Questions
Here’s the test in writing. Read each question and choose A or B. Write down your answers or type them into a document, and then score them using the guide at the end of the test.
1. A. I have a natural talent for influencing people.
B. I am not good at influencing people.2. A. Modesty doesn’t become me.
B. I am essentially a modest person.
B. I am not good at influencing people.2. A. Modesty doesn’t become me.
B. I am essentially a modest person.
3. A. I would do almost anything on a dare.
B. I tend to be a fairly cautious person.
4. A. When people compliment me I sometimes get embarrassed.
B. I know that I am good because everybody keeps telling me so.
B. I tend to be a fairly cautious person.
4. A. When people compliment me I sometimes get embarrassed.
B. I know that I am good because everybody keeps telling me so.
5. A. The thought of ruling the world frightens the hell out of me.
B. If I ruled the world it would be a better place.
6. A. I can usually talk my way out of anything.
B. I try to accept the consequences of my behavior.
7. A. I prefer to blend in with the crowd.
B. I like to be the center of attention.
8. A. I will be a success.
B. I am not too concerned about success.
9. A. I am no better or worse than most people.
B. I think I am a special person.
10. A. I am not sure if I would make a good leader.
B. I see myself as a good leader.
11. A. I am assertive.
B. I wish I were more assertive.
12. A. I like to have authority over other people.
B. I don’t mind following orders.
13. A. I find it easy to manipulate people.
B. I don’t like it when I find myself manipulating people.
14. A. I insist upon getting the respect that is due me.
B. I usually get the respect that I deserve.
15. A. I don’t particularly like to show off my body.
B. I like to show off my body.
16. A. I can read people like a book.
B. People are sometimes hard to understand.
17. A. If I feel competent I am willing to take responsibility for making decisions.
B. I like to take responsibility for making decisions.
18. A. I just want to be reasonably happy.
B. I want to amount to something in the eyes of the world.
19. A. My body is nothing special.
B. I like to look at my body.
20. A. I try not to be a show off.
B. I will usually show off if I get the chance.
21. A. I always know what I am doing.
B. Sometimes I am not sure of what I am doing.
22. A. I sometimes depend on people to get things done.
B. I rarely depend on anyone else to get things done.
23. A. Sometimes I tell good stories.
B. Everybody likes to hear my stories.
24. A. I expect a great deal from other people.
B. I like to do things for other people.
25. A. I will never be satisfied until I get all that I deserve.
B. I take my satisfactions as they come.
26. A. Compliments embarrass me.
B. I like to be complimented.
27. A. I have a strong will to power.
B. Power for its own sake doesn’t interest me.
28. A. I don’t care about new fads and fashions.
B. I like to start new fads and fashions.
29. A. I like to look at myself in the mirror.
B. I am not particularly interested in looking at myself in the mirror.
30. A. I really like to be the center of attention.
B. It makes me uncomfortable to be the center of attention.
31. A. I can live my life in any way I want to.
B. People can’t always live their lives in terms of what they want.
32. A. Being an authority doesn’t mean that much to me.
B. People always seem to recognize my authority.
33. A. I would prefer to be a leader.
B. It makes little difference to me whether I am a leader or not.
34. A. I am going to be a great person.
B. I hope I am going to be successful.
35. A. People sometimes believe what I tell them.
B. I can make anybody believe anything I want them to.
36. A. I am a born leader.
B. Leadership is a quality that takes a long time to develop.
37. A. I wish somebody would someday write my biography.
B. I don’t like people to pry into my life for any reason.
38. A. I get upset when people don’t notice how I look when I go out in public.
B. I don’t mind blending into the crowd when I go out in public.
39. A. I am more capable than other people.
B. There is a lot that I can learn from other people.
40. A. I am much like everybody else.
B. I am an extraordinary person.
SCORING KEY: Assign one point for each response that matches the key.
1, 2 and 3: A4, 5: B6: A7: B8: A9, 10: B11, 12, 13, 14: A15: B16: A17, 18, 19, 20: B21: A22, 23: B24, 25: A26: B27: A28: B29, 30, 31: A32: B33, 34: A35: B36, 37, 38, 39: A40: B
About the Scores:
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- The average score for the general population is 15.3. The average score for celebrities is 17.8.
- It’s really important that you consider which traits are dominant. So, a final score that reflects more points on vanity, entitlement, exhibitionism, and exploitativeness should raise more concern than a high score in authority, self-sufficiency, and superiority, for example.
- This test does not offer the full spectrum of scoring as it does not take into account the seven narcissistic component traits as follows.
- Visit this post for an interactive version of the NPI test.
- The average score for the general population is 15.3. The average score for celebrities is 17.8.
Helpful related articles for survivors of narcissistic abuse
Why Narcissists Are Often Misdiagnosed With Bipolar Disorder
Secrets and Self-Loathing: Identifying a Covert Narcissist
Are you married to a narcissist? 12 easy ways to spot
Toxic Relationships and Narcissism: Stages of Gaslighting
Gaslighting and Toxic Narcissism: Top 10 Red Flags (Video)
Narcissistic Personality Inventory Test and Scoring Guide
Knowledge is Power: 4 Important NPD Statistics Survivors Need to Know
Toxic Relationships: Symptoms and Risk Factors of Narcissistic Personality Disorder
How to Be a Hot Guy: Go From Zero to Hero After a Toxic Relationship
Men Can Be Abused Too: Introducing Toxic Relationship Recovery for Guys
Dear Men,
You make up more than a quarter of my readers and YouTube subscribers, and I appreciate you. I want you to know that I am not “anti-man” or even a feminist (except in its true definition: someone who believes women and men are equal) – I have two sons and many other men in my life who I care about.
With that being said, I know there a lot of you (probably more than even I realize) and I know that you are under-served in the narcissistic abuse recovery information and support that you need to get through this and to overcome it – partially because not a lot of people even realize that you can be abused by a woman.
That’s why, in addition to making my videos mostly not just for women, I’ve started a special series on narcissistic abuse recovery that’s just for you. You matter, and I want you to know it. Here’s the first installment – take a moment and let me know what you think! Would you like to see more? Share your thoughts below, or email me at [email protected].
How to Be a Super Hot Guy: This is How You Can Attract HEALTHY Women (After a Toxic Relationship)
I hope you don’t hate yourself for not being a bad boy. Nice guys have one major advantage over bad boys – nice guys pay attention and care about a woman’s needs.
This is actually an advantage for a couple of reasons. First, you have a natural ability to be tuned in and caring – that’s valuable, and women love it! Second, because you have a bit of awareness, you’re also more able to discern if any given woman is going to be a good fit for you.
Because of your attentive nature and the fact that you do pay attention, you’re in a better position to determine whether a girl is right for you, and whether she’s a good girl or a bad girl.
Here’s something absolutely essential to keep in mind: Your hormones may try to misguide you! Sometimes, even if you’re a really good guy, your hormones will bog down your ability to think and even care if she’s a nice girl or not.
This is when you have to demonstrate some self-control and sound thinking. Before you find yourself in a situation that you may regret, you need to know how to tell a good girl from a bad girl.
A good girl dresses appropriately. That doesn’t mean she can’t look sexy, but she’s not letting herself spill out of her dress just for attention. She also has self control when it comes to drinking and even spending money.
Good girls pay attention to your needs, not just their own. She won’t rush into bed with you just because she thinks that’s the only way to get you to commit to her. She’s confident in her choices and decisions and doesn’t defer to you for everything.
Bad girls, on the other hand, try to win your affection by being overly promiscuous. She’ll dress too sexy, to the point you’re embarrassed for her, knowing every guy is assuming what kind of girl she is. She might also be flirting with every man in the room.
A bad girl also might need to get drunk or incapacitated in another way in order to relax and have fun (and we already know narcissists might also be addicts or alcoholics). She doesn’t control herself with money, either, spending too much and complaining that she’s in debt up to her ears.
You might meet a bad girl who pressures you into going to bed together on the first date. If she’s like this with you, she might be like this with any man! Some women think the only way a guy will commit is through sex, so put her mind at ease and take the pressure off from the very beginning.
If she’s needy, she might be a bad girl in another way – as in high maintenance. What starts out as cute possessiveness turns into a raging jealousy that gets out of control and ruins your life. Find a woman who exudes confidence and interest in you (not one that seeks the attention of every man in the room).
Because, my friend, you know which girl needs the attention of everyone in the room, right?
Yeah. It’s the female narcissist. Female narcissists will use their bodies to get what they want, in many cases, and this includes their sexuality.
- Female narcissists are more likely to have an eating disorder than male narcisssists.
- Female narcs are more likely to have issues with getting older, especially when they use their bodies or sexuality to get what they want.
- Female narcissists are more likely to secure their supply sources at home by controlling her family directly and using guilt to help secure her control.
- Female narcissists tend to be less openly over-confident than male narcs, who get much of their over-inflated confidence from inside their own heads – but females are more likely to take secret pleasure in their own perceived superiority over others.
- Female narcissists are more likely to spend money frivolously while males are more likely to believe that money gives them power, control, status and related conditions. (Neither concerns himself/herself with shame or remorse, of course).
- While both female and male narcs are known to cheat, males are more likely to be serial adulterers. Females are more likely to idealize a guy and then emasculate him when they get him under their “spell.” In both cases, the more their partners give, the more they want and take from them – it’s an insatiable need for supply.
Next Time, Ask Yourself: Does This Woman Deserve Your Heart?
You’ve met the woman of your dreams – you think. You’ve been dating for some time and things are getting pretty serious. You’re at the point where you’re becoming exclusive (or maybe you’re thinking about making things even a bit more permanent).
Before you ask her to move in with you, or marry you, you have to ask yourself, “Does this woman deserve my heart?” Answer it completely honestly.
Remember, it isn’t only her judging whether you are worthy, but you deciding whether she is worthy of you. When the idea of permanence enters into your head, it’s time to take a few deep breaths and really think things through – even if it means that you’ll be putting off having the exclusive dating talk, or the moving in together talk, or the marriage proposal.
These things are a big deal and because of that, you absolutely need to take your time and know in your heart that she’s the kind of person you want to spend an eternity.
Here are some questions that you need to ask yourself:
- Are we truly compatible? If your intention is to make this relationship more permanent, this is a good question to ask. Not just if you both like dogs and macaroni and cheese and hockey, but are you compatible on a deeper level.
- Are you on the same page when it comes to the really important things like kids, spirituality, finances and other things that will eventually play a very important part in your life together?
- If you don’t see eye-to-eye, have the two of you figured out how you’re going to compromise or where your common ground will be?
- Is she good to you? This is something that some people forget to ask when they’re just plain head over heels in love or your family and friends like her a lot and are pressuring you.
- Is she kind to you?
- Does she respect your dreams, goals and ideas?
- How does she treat you when you’re out with friends?
- How does she treat you when you’re alone?
- Does she apologize if she’s made a mistake?
- Is she controlling?
- Is she loyal to you?
- Is she someone that you really, truly like? You have to be able to like this person, not just love her. Do you enjoy her company most of the time?
- Do you respect her and what she stands for?
- Are you comfortable with the way she treats your family and friends?
- Can you picture spending your life with her?
- Do you have visions of sitting on the front porch in his and her rocking chairs while your grandchildren play at your feet?
- Do you feel comfortable committing yourself to this person?
As you consider these questions, make sure you’re honest with yourself. Small differences can probably be worked out, and nobody is perfect. But if you’re uncomfortable with committing to something more serious, then wait until you’re sure you’re ready. The worst thing that can happen is that you’ll have to get back into the dating scene. Just make sure you’re getting someone who you’re happy and comfortable with. Never settle for less than you deserve. Feel me?
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5 Shockingly Empowering Sexy Secrets We Can Learn From Southern Belles
“Southern Belles never take pride in being ‘awkward’ or ‘adorkable.’ They are ladies who are proud of their social skills, and know how to put people at ease.” ~Candace ThompsonMy family and I snuck away for a week during the kids’ spring break from school last year, and boy did I learn something cool. As you might expect, I came across plenty of hot women on my journey, but one in particular sticks out in my mind as a hottie–and probably not one you’d expect.
We left on a Monday night after my husband got off work and we planned to stay in a hotel once we got to Birmingham (just past the halfway point from our home in St. Louis to our rented condo in Panama City Beach, Florida). So we stopped at a (ridiculously overpriced but very nice) Hampton Inn.
Now, while I am still kind of pissed that it cost us nearly $200 to sleep for exactly 6 unsettling hours, this woman who checked us out was something else.
As we enjoyed our slightly-stale tasting (but “free”) continential breakfast, I saw her, behind the counter. She was probably around 60 years old, and she didn’t seem like much to look at–her skin wasn’t in the best shape and her nose had this odd cut-out looking spot on it. Still, she had a friendly face, I thought, so I went over to check out.
But the moment the woman opened her mouth, she suddenly became incredibly beautiful–and let’s be honest, super hot. And within the three-minute time period I dealt with her, she had a significant impact on me. So what did this southern belle to do win me over within the first two seconds she opened her mouth, aside from belting out that molasses-sweet accent?
5 Sexy Secrets We Can Learn From Southern Belles
1. It Ain’t a (Just) Man’s World, So Don’t Be Afraid of Your Femininity–In our society today, women are expected to be sexy, strong and capable, but only insomuch as it does not, in any way, threaten their men. And if she does take on a “traditionally male role,” such as a leadership position at work or a professor at a university, she may feel pressured to subdue her femininity in order to be taken seriously. Southern women are not afraid to be as girly as they wanna be, and they’ll do it all while running a company or heading up a presidential campaign. Bless their hearts!
2. The Art of Being a Lady Isn’t Lost, After All--My hotel clerk and many southern belles like her have this amazing ability to make people around them feel especially comfortable. It’s something about the way they talk, the softness in their voice and maybe even some kind of old-fashioned quality called class. Within the first moment I was talking to this lady, I felt completely at ease and like she was enjoying my conversation. Talk about HOT!
3. Standing By Your Family and Friends is Super Hot–Southern women are known for their ability to take care of and to stand by the people they love – it’s called “Southern Hospitality” for a reason, y’all. There is nothing in the world that says you HAVE to take care of folks (although, if you do, the healthy people in your life usually return the favor!), but I’m here to tell you that, when it comes to men, there are few in this world who don’t (secretly or otherwise) wish their woman would take care of them. Whether they admit it or not, they love it when you get all mommy on their asses–especially when they’re sick. Being a caring wife to a healthy, loving guy? Super hot.
4. 
Knowing that Looks DO Matter–Many Southern belles are known for their girly-girl style, but there are just as many gorgeous tomboys, fashionistas bohemians and other generally hot women in the south. The thing that Southern girls know that the rest of us forget sometimes is that taking care of your appearance DOES change the way the world perceives you (and how you perceive yourself). Not only will you be taken more seriously when you bother to care how you look, but you’ll just FEEL hotter–and that always adds up to BEING hotter.
5. Being Authentically, Really Yourself–I have said it before and I’ll say it again–being YOU is HOT! But in the case of the Southern Belle, I think that Candace Thompson said it best when she said, “Southern Belles don’t care if not every woman wants to be like them, or if they’re considered too “traditional” or “old-fashioned.” They are happy to live the life they have, and be who they are, without pleasing some feminist or businesswoman who wants them to be more “modern.” They know how much better life is when you live it in style.”
What can you learn from a Southern Belle about being a HOTTER version of yourself? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments section, below!
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How to Reclaim Your Feminine Power After Toxic Relationships
Are you feeling like life after a toxic relationship has noting to offer?
- Are you bored and feeling kinda ugly and unapproachable lately?
- Are you tired of feeling unattractive?
Do you wanna bring out your inner goddess? Do you want to bring your sexy back, or to find it for the first time?
Good news – I’m a total nerd who loves to study the science behind human psychology, including attraction and how it works. That’s why I’m always paying attention and asking questions.
Today, I’m sharing something that answers the question every woman wants answered, but few are brave enough to really ask.
And many women have a different idea of what men consider hot. That’ why I asked my focus group of about 150 people what they think makes a woman hot.
Just as some similarities in perceptions showed through, there were some very marked differences between men and women on what they think makes a women hot. I’ll explain all that for you – and more – in this video.
