Do you find yourself giving all you’ve got and people still want more? Do you sometimes do without what you want or need in order to keep the people around you happy? Are you afraid to deal with confrontation and do you often find it easier to just go with the flow in order to keep the peace?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, you might be a people pleaser. Many people pleasers are also very empathic people, who are especially attractive to toxic types who love to take advantage every chance they get.
In this book, you’ll learn how to stop feeling the need to make everyone else happy and start figuring out what makes you happy, personally, and really – not someone else’s idea of what’s supposed to make you happy,
Listen up: you deserve to be happy just as much as anyone else. Stop beating yourself up and start embracing your personal power. Take your life back starting today!
Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is a psychological disorder with symptoms such as an exaggerated sense of self-importance, an obsession with power and personal success, self-centeredness, and the inability to empathize. It causes the affected person to have a pretty distorted self-image, unpredictable and intense emotional issues, and most notably, a serious lack of empathy for the people around them. The lack of empathy leads them to not feel or understand the feelings that aren’t their own – and clearly, this causes serious issues in relationships.
Someone with NPD may also have a sense of superiority and grandiose fantasies of power or importance, not to mention a huge sense of (often unearned) entitlement, and they may consider themselves and their ideas more important and correct than anyone else’s.
Now, let’s quickly cover the diagnostic criteria for APD or anti-social personality disorder. First, Antisocial Personality Disorder is considered a “mental health disorder” characterized by a blatant disregard for others.
Here, we see similar traits, including a propensity for egocentrism and self-directed goal-setting without regard for societal norms or rules. In addition, personality traits include a propensity for manipulating and deceiving others, hostility, and a sense of callousness. Also present are irresponsible and impulsive behaviors, excessive risk-taking, and other behaviors considered outside of the social norms.
Confusing, maybe, because there are some similarities there. For example, a narcissist will be uncomfortable in situations where they aren’t the center of attention, and so will the antisocial person. Both narcissists and people with APD can be very dramatic, and each likes to feel that they’re the center of the world.
What are the differences between APD and NPD?
Both the narcissist and the person with anti-social personality disorder are typically victimizers of others. However, while the narcissist lacks empathy, the anti-social personality has a reckless disregard for the safety of others – slightly different but still very similar, right?
But there are also some marked differences between APD and NPD, and that’s what we’re covering next. Probably the most notable one is that in most cases if the narcissist breaks the law, they aren’t caught because they’re very carefully calculating their behavior. For the anti-social person, though, being arrested at some point in their lives is pretty common.
NPD vs. APD on Attention from Others
Narcissists also really NEED their sources of narcissistic supply to self-validate. When it comes to their personal identities, the narcissist bases their self-esteem on how other people react to them and treat them. As a result, they tend to have an exaggerated sense of self that fluctuates to desperate self-doubt (which is usually not verbalized for many narcs). Narcissists are also known for their emotional extremes and mood swings.
NPD vs. APD on Self-Esteem and Personal Goals
On the other hand, the anti-social personality derives self-esteem from their own personal gain, power, and pleasure – not so much through the approval of others. They will aggressively and openly go after what they want without regard for the concerns of others. They want power, control, and material gain – the APD focuses mostly on functional benefits instead of the narcissist, who focuses on getting their supply needs met (the ego is more important to the narc).
It makes sense then that the narcissist’s goals are generally based on getting approval from other people and the need to see themselves as special or different. The narcissist also doesn’t really know why they do what they do, and as I mentioned, they have a great sense of entitlement.
The anti-social personality’s goals are based more on personal gratification, and this type of person lacks concern for societal standards when going after what they want.
NPD vs. APD on Relationships
Here’s an interesting note on empathy for both personality disorders. While we know that both lack empathy for others, the APD also lacks remorse when hurting or mistreating another person. While the same appears true for a narcissist, there is this interesting twist here – the narcissist tends to be hypersensitive to the reactions of others as they relate to themselves. The narcissist also seriously underestimates the effect of their behavior on other people.
Narcissists need relationships because they help provide them with validation and recognition, while anti-social people will build and discard relationships for their own financial or social gain. When their relationships end, narcissists are known to “hoover” their exes, while the ASP will walk away without a second thought.
NPD vs. APD on Sex and Intimacy
When it comes to sex and intimacy, the anti-social personality disorder person cannot have a mutually intimate relationship – they are all about exploiting other people to get what they want, and sex and intimacy are no exception. It’s the only way they know to relate to people. So the APD will use bullying and intimidation to control the people around them.
For narcissists, relationships are all about supply – getting their needs met. The narcissist enters relationships to serve him or herself only, boost self-esteem and fulfill the narcissist’s needs. Here is where people are most damaged by the narcissist – in intimate relationships. Narcissists are most often abusive to those closest to them. They tend to have very little interest in other people’s experiences, which leads their relationship partners to feel unheard and unimportant in many cases.
NPD vs. APD on Manipulation
Like the narcissist, the anti-social personality also includes manipulative behavior through seduction and charm, but for different reasons. But, again, the narcissist does it for supply and attention, while the ASP does it to meet their personal goals or for personal gain.
The APD-affected person is more likely to be blatantly callous and sadistic, deceitful, and to commit fraud. They are also more openly hostile and mean to others than narcissists, who are more likely to reserve these behaviors for their established sources of narcissistic supply.
NPD vs. APD on Taking Risks
Narcissists are less likely to take big risks and engage in hazardous behaviors, while the ASP is all about both of those things – in fact, they are known to be incredibly impulsive and irresponsible. As far as anyone can tell, many narcissists are financially and socially responsible, but that’s because they are also very concerned with their personal image and what others think about them. On the other hand, the ASP tends to lack the ability to be financially and socially responsible and really struggles to follow through on things promised and on agreements (legal or otherwise).
NPD vs. APD on Emotions
Narcissists have emotions, and they let everyone know it. But the ASP brain is wired differently. Neuroscientists believe that the brain’s prefrontal cortex has structural and functional issues that cause the ASP to have an inability to have remorse and genuine emotion. So while narcissists struggle to display remorse and genuine emotion in a normal way, it’s because they’re too self-focused sometimes to pay attention to or respect the feelings of others – not because they don’t feel anything. The APD genuinely can’t experience normal human feelings at all.
The narcissist will feel wounded when their pride feels attacked or when someone doesn’t agree with them, and they may seek revenge for the narcissistic injury they get out of the deal. The APD doesn’t care what anyone thinks of them, but they will react with anger or aggression if their personal goals (for material or personal gain) are affected.
Can someone be both narcissistic and antisocial?
Yes, the two conditions can be comorbid, but not often. The symptoms overlap, but the specific diagnostic criteria are specific to motivations, so it’s rare that they can both be identified in a person.
Question of the Day: Do you know someone who is APD or NPD? What have your experiences been?
Start Getting Help with Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Today
Although vegetables tend to have a lot of this nutrient, they’re not the only source. You can also add beans, tuna, blueberries, and other foods to get more vitamin K in your diet.
4. Are you getting enough? If you’re eating a healthy diet with many vegetables and fruits, you may have enough vitamin K. However, it’s not always easy to tell. A healthy diet tends to include enough vitamin K. For example, one cup of kale has more than the recommended daily value of vitamin K that an adult needs.
Nevertheless, it’s possible you may not be getting enough. If you have digestive problems, malabsorption, or liver problems, it may be necessary to take supplements. Conditions such as cystic fibrosis, celiac disease, or Crohn’s disease can cause a vitamin K deficiency. In other cases, your medications can interfere with the absorption of this essential vitamin.
If you think you might be short on this important nutrient, talk to a medical professional about your concerns. If you need to supplement your diet, there are many types of vitamins that include vitamin K. Choose one that works for you.
5. Special precautions. If you take any type of blood thinners, it’s crucial to be careful with vitamin K. Blood thinners can interact with both food and supplements that contain large amounts of vitamin K. Talk about your medications with your physician and discuss how much vitamin K is in your diet and vitamin pills. You may need to make adjustments to avoid complications.
6. Symptoms of low vitamin K levels. If you’re experiencing these symptoms, seek immediate medical care:
First, you may have trouble after a small cut with the blood refusing to clot.
Bleeding and blood clotting issues are common with this type of deficiency.
You may experience internal digestive system bleeding, gum bleeding, nose bleeds, or other types of issues.
Talk to your doctor about vitamin K and ensure that you’re getting enough for optimal health. Always consult a medical professional before making drastic dietary changes or trying new supplements or pills.
Why does the narcissist want to stay friends after he or she blatantly discards you in a relationship? What could be the benefit – and it is a good idea to remain friends with your ex? That’s what today’s video covers.
Today, I’m answering the question: Should you stay friends with your narcissist after the discard?
When you break up with a narcissist, is it even possible to stay friends? Plus: I’ll give you 10 important facts you need to consider before you say “yes” to a narcissist who wants to stay friends after your breakup or divorce. Dealing with a narcissist or someone with NPD in a toxic relationship is hell – considering the gaslighting, the manipulation and the ups and downs of it all, you’ve got to consider whether the trauma bonding you’ve experienced is really worth going back to.
As survivors of narcissistic abuse, many of us find it hard to be assertive. Passivity is often viewed as a form of politeness. We’re raised to make others happy, even at our own expense.
The other end of the spectrum has its own unique set of challenges. Aggression isn’t pleasing to others. Others are likely to give up too much when faced with aggression. This creates negative feelings and damages emotions.
Assertiveness is an attractive option and provides multiple benefits to you and those around you.
Learn to be assertive rather than passive or aggressive and enjoy these perks:
1. Boost your self-esteem. What could be better for your self-esteem than speaking up for yourself and taking action to influence the world around you, Depression is often caused by feeling a lack of control. Assertiveness is a form of taking control and responsibility.
3. Increase your communication.Part of being assertive is speaking up for what you want and being open with your desires. If you think about the least assertive people you know, you don’t know them very well. They keep everything to themselves. Assertive people have an openness to them that non-assertive people do not.
4. Accomplish more. When you’re open with your opinions and wants, and you’re taking action to make them happen, you’ll be shocked by how much more effective you can be.
5. Others assume you are confident. There are multiple benefits to being perceived as confident. People will assume you’re more capable, intelligent, and have better leadership skills than someone that is less confident. It’s also attractive to others.
6. Get what you want more often. Imagine you’re in a group of people, and the subject of choosing a restaurant for dinner comes up. The person that offers a suggestion usually “wins.”Most people are too passive to offer an opinion. This tendency can be found in all facets of life. Those that are too passive sacrifice too much in making others happy. This might seem noble, but it’s a frustrating way to live. The belief is that you’ll eventually receive what you want if you let others have everything they want. This rarely works in real life.
7. Get in touch with your feelings. When you suppress your emotions and desires, you lose touch with yourself. By consistently pursuing that which you desire, you’ll gain a much better understanding of yourself.
8. Win-win situations become the norm. When you’re too passive, the other person gets things their way. When you’re too aggressive, you might have things go your way more often, but the other person is resentful. The best opportunity for both of you to be satisfied with the outcome is to be assertive.
9. Enhance your decision-making skills. Passive people often base decisions on the least confrontational solution. Aggressive people are biased in the opposite direction. Those that are assertive have a more neutral stance. Their passivity and aggressiveness don’t taint their perspective. Decisions are less emotion-based.
Assertiveness is a combination of honesty and respect for others and yourself. When you’re assertive, you’re honest about your intentions, wants, and desires. You aren’t forcing them on others, but you’re willing to express them and own them. You’re also being respectful by not hiding your intentions.
Passivity and aggressiveness aren’t pleasing to others and are less effective than assertiveness. Allow others to respect you by being more assertive in all your interactions. You’ll enjoy the results!