In narcissistic abuse, you often don’t feel allowed to make your own decisions – but it’s time to take back your CHOICES! When you own your decisions you own yourself! You live by your values and stop wavering back and forth over matters big and small, whether it’s buying a house or ordering breakfast. You take control of your future instead of turning the responsibility over to someone else.
Effective decision-making is a skill that you can polish even if you’ve had trouble making up your mind in the past.
If you want to say goodbye to feeling stymied, try these tips.
Mastering the Decision-Making Process
1. Remember your purpose. Think about the essence of who you are and what you want to achieve. Align your choices with your values.
2. Gather information. Having an accurate and up-to-date picture of your situation will help you to know what to do. However, research can drag on so long that it becomes a form of procrastination, so put a time limit on it.
3. Clarify options. Take into account each of your possible choices. You usually have several reasonable alternatives.
4. Weigh different factors. Some items are bound to be more important to you than others. For example, you might compare two job offers by writing down all the criteria, and assigning numbers to them so you can see the one with the highest score based on salary, commute time, and other considerations.
5. Make a commitment. Select your favored option and let it sink in. Once you have a clear winner, let go of the temptation to keep rehashing other scenarios.
7. Evaluate your progress. Remember that most decisions are at least somewhat reversible. Analyzing the outcomes will help you enjoy your victory or make some modifications.
Overcoming Obstacles to Decision-Making
1. Slow down. Avoid acting on impulse or creating unnecessary pressure on yourself to pick an option when you still feel unsure. You may see things more clearly when you sleep on a decision or talk it over with someone you trust.
2. Listen to your feelings. Your emotions often tell you what you really value. Pay attention if an otherwise reasonable choice causes anxiety for you or a less conventional route makes you smile.
3. Face your fears. Risks are a natural part of life. Acknowledging your fears allows you to sort through them.
4. Limit the choices. It’s possible to have too many options and wind up overwhelmed. Narrow the field down before making a final decision.
5. Distance yourself. Imagine what advice you’d give to someone else in the same circumstances. It’s often a quick way to persuade yourself to think more objectively.
6. Accept trade-offs. What if several options offer different advantages, At some point, you may have to let something go to gain the things you want more.
7. Achieve consensus. Some decisions affect more than one individual and need to be shared. For example, when you’re planning a family, you and your spouse will need to find an arrangement that satisfies both of you.
8. Look inward. Confirm that you’re making decisions for yourself instead of following the crowd or trying to please someone else. Your happiness depends on listening to your heart. Your definition of fulfillment and success is what counts.
Indecisiveness can lead to frustration, wasted time, and lost opportunities. Free yourself from excessive doubts and second-guesses. Choose your course and move forward even when the stakes are high. Either the results will turn out in your favor, or you can learn from the experience and make the necessary adjustments.
1. I’ll always be alone. Being lonely and feeling isolated are normal human emotions. However, they become toxic when you think that things will always be this way.
* This toxic thought can make you feel that you’re the only person on the planet. It can make you believe that you’ll never find love or a partner. And it can stop you from feeling joy.
* Instead of thinking you’ll always be alone, focus on what you already have. Do you have loving parents or siblings, Do you have amazing friends or coworkers, If you look carefully, you’ll see you’re never truly alone.
2. I hate my body.Hating your body can be one of the most toxic thoughts in your mind. It can lead to eating disorders, self-esteem issues, and other challenges. Everyone can find an imperfection, but it’s important to avoid dwelling on them.
* Understand that your body is a gift. It’s part of what makes you unique. Notice the things you do like about your body. Accentuate those characteristics, focus on them, and you’ll find it easier to start loving the body you have.
3. I’m not happy with my career. Your job can make you feel unhappy, but it’s another toxic thought. Try to avoid thinking about how much you hate your work.
Of course, you may pursue a different career path. Seek out new work without dwelling on your hatred for the current job. Follow your passion for a new career without anger and resentment. It’s always more beneficial to go toward something instead of away from something else.
4. I’m not worthy. This toxic thought can wear many outfits. You may feel that you’re not worthy of love, success, money, or other things. You may believe that you always have to suffer and struggle. You may decide that you’re not meant for greater things. However, this toxic thought can stop you from enjoying life and finding happiness. These feelings of worthlessness are only in your mind. You’re a unique person who has value, but you’ve convinced yourself otherwise.
* Often, this toxic thought comes from what you think others are thinking about you. You falsely assume that others don’t see any value in you, so you’re self-esteem sinks to a low level.
Consider starting a new game: congratulate yourself each time you do something right. Find things that you do satisfactorily. Even small ones count. For example, if you made a tasty breakfast, congratulate yourself. If you like the outfit you’re wearing, kudos to you for picking out something nice. Let your thoughts dwell on what you do right!
5. I don’t have enough. This toxic thought can manifest itself in multiple ways, such as thinking you don’t have enough money, skills, talents, or abilities. You may also think you don’t have enough connections, friends, children, or things.
* Scarcity thoughts stop you from appreciating what you already have around you. They prevent you from finding joy in being thankful. With these thoughts, you may never have enough material possessions or people to love, regardless of how many you actually have.
* You can certainly strive for more, but it’s important to also be thankful for what you do have.
Toxic thoughts are easy to create and often hard to eliminate. They can overwhelm you if you aren’t careful. If toxic thoughts have gotten a hold on you, it’s important to take action to shoo them out of your mind.
Notice when these toxic thoughts arise. Immediately, switch that thought to one that’s more positive and uplifts you. Meditate, repeat affirmations, and try these ideas to loosen their grip. Do these actions consistently, and soon you’ll find that things work out for your benefit more often.
When you’re in an abusive relationship, it can be difficult to see the way out. But, you don’t have to be trapped in a relationship with an abusive partner. Here’s some help.
How do you safely leave an abusive partner?
Discover how to separate yourself from them in a safe way by using these strategies:
Be honest with yourself about why you haven’t already left.
Understand why you stay. You can’t gain the courage to leave until you understand why you’re staying. Are these reasons preventing you from leaving,
Maybe you’re staying out of fear.
You may feel stuck in the relationship because it’s the only thing you have right now. Despite the issues, it’s a familiar place. You may even feel secure in the familiarity.
You might even stay because you feel that you deserve to be punished. You’re worried that you won’t be able to find someone else who is better. And, because of the abuse, you may feel responsible for the situation.
In addition, perhaps you believe that you can fix the issues. You may think that if you love your partner enough, then they will stop being abusive.
Focus on getting stronger, mentally and emotionally.
Strengthen your self-esteem.Low self-esteem is at the root of many abusive relationships. Increasing your confidence and self-esteem will help you gain the courage to leave the abuser. You can start by acknowledging that your self-esteem needs work.
Look for causes for your low self-esteem. Were your parents perfectionists who expected too much from you? Did you feel inadequate growing up or at work? Once you have the answers, you can work to resolve your feelings about your past. You can put the past in the past and ensure that these negative feelings don’t affect who you are today.
To raise your self-esteem, do a nice thing for yourself each day. Pay attention to what others say about you that is positive. Journal about it or take notes, so you always have a reminder of your positive aspects.
Set up a proper support system.
Get outside help. It may benefit you to get help from friends, family, or others. You may need to turn to therapy or a doctor. In some cases, outside help is needed to leave an abusive relationship.
Your friends, family, coworkers, or others may be able to assist you so you won’t be alone and can develop the courage to leave. There may also be community resources, nonprofits, and organizations that can help.
Figure out your finances. Are you scared to leave your partner because you depend on them financially? Maybe you’re dealing with financial abuse, too? If you know that you’re financially secure, then it’s easier to leave.
When you have a job, set money aside that your abuser can’t access. You can also ask friends or family to contribute to your savings.
When you don’t have a job, you have to be more creative. You may be able to save money from the stipends you receive. You may be able to sell some items.
Even if you’re not certain about your finances, you can make plans for the future. Prepare for a job that can support you after this relationship ends.
You don’t have to stay with an abusive partner out of fear. Relationships can be difficult to end, but it’s not impossible. Figure out a way to escape and leave them, even if you need someone to help you do it. There are resources and people who can help you get out of your abusive situation and get started in a healthier life.
Start Getting Help with Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Today
Have you ever wondered how doctors really lose weight? Although not all medical professionals are slim, some seem to have discovered weight loss secrets that could help you.
Doctors often fight their own weight loss battles, so they’ve learned how to keep the pounds off and away. You can learn from their secrets and use them to lose weight too.
Try these effective techniques:
1. Avoid watching the scale. Doctors admit that they don’t pay attention to the bathroom scale. Instead of watching every pound they gain or lose, they share that they focus on how they feel, and how their clothes fit.
* It’s more pleasing to watch your jeans or pants fit you better than to obsess about the numbers on the scale. Your weight will naturally fluctuate on a daily basis. This is mostly due to water retention, so it’s important to focus more on the big picture.
2. They count calories where it matters. Instead of calculating the calories in each piece of lettuce, most doctors pay attention to calories where they matter.
* For example, they don’t worry about calories in fruits and vegetables because these foods have fiber and other nutrients that strengthen your health.
* However, they pay close attention to the calories in snacks such as granola or trail mix. You may be surprised to learn how many empty calories are in some of your favorite snack foods. They may look healthy, but in reality, they pack in the calories.
3. They pay attention to diet supplements. Sometimes, even doctors consider magic pills like diet supplements.
* What separates doctors from most consumers is that they carefully study the ingredients before they take any supplement. They understand that some of the ingredients can have serious side effects in addition to weight loss.
* They also check with other professionals if they need more information.
4. They avoid letting diet failures stop them. Doctors sometimes cheat and fail at their diets. After all, they are human. Failures will happen, but the way you respond to them matters. Doctors understand that they can start a diet again without issues.
* Many doctors admit that some of their diets haven’t worked in the past. Nevertheless, they’re always ready to start again and keep going to reach their weight loss goals.
5. They understand stress eating. Their jobs are filled with stress, so they know that stress eating is a reality. However, they also know that when you eat because of stress, you can seriously damage your weight loss efforts.
* Doctors have stressful jobs that often involve overtime and worrying about their patients. They also have to deal with late payments from patients, insurance companies, pharmaceutical reps, difficult staff members, and huge medical school loans.
* They’ve figured out other coping mechanisms to deal with the worry and anxiety that don’t involve food. One of the best ways to stop stress eating is to exercise or get active. Dancing, running, walking, or hiking can help you fight stress without adding extra calories to your day or night.
Doctors know that weight loss is a long-term goal and not a short-term fight. You don’t have to invest in complicated programs to achieve long-term results. You can use slimming secrets from doctors to keep the pounds away and stay lean.
You may be worried about eating too much, but are you also concerned about not eating enough, Drastically cutting your calories and going on a fad diet can hurt your body and brain. You may be starving your brain of essential nutrients if you don’t eat enough food.
Your brain needs a healthy diet just like the rest of your body. The cells in your brain need the nourishment that comes from food. Food provides your body with carbohydrates, proteins, and fats. It also offers nutrients such as minerals and vitamins that promote brain health.
Your brain benefits from nutrients such as folic acid, omega-3, and others found in food. Your brain needs these minerals and vitamins to function properly.
Find out what happens in your brain if you don’t eat enough to provide the nutrients it requires:
1. Shrinking of the brain. When your diet lacks enough nutrients because you’re starving or participating in a fad diet, your brain can shrink.
* If you don’t get enough B vitamins, your brain can atrophy.
* In addition, if you don’t get enough amino acids by eating protein or omega-3s from fats, then it can shrink.
2. Concentration and memory issues. Without the proper amount of nutrients, your brain can’t focus.
* You may have difficulty concentrating on simple tasks. Math or tasks that are more complex may become impossible.
* You need B vitamins, folic acid, omega-3, vitamin C, vitamin E, niacin, vitamin D, and other nutrients to concentrate effectively. Without them, your brain simply can’t function the way it was designed.
3. Brain damage. If you starve or don’t get enough food for long periods of time, brain damage can be the result. This brain damage may or may not be reversible.
4. Craving food. When you don’t eat enough, you start to crave food. You can’t stop thinking about it or shut off your brain.
* Your ability to make healthy food choices decreases. Since your brain thinks you’re starving, you’ll eat anything you find. You won’t be able to avoid temptations or stop eating junk food.
* Research shows that you’re more likely to eat carbohydrates and sweets to try to refuel.
* The constant cravings for food distract you. They can distract you to the point that you can’t work or study. You may even be in danger as you try to drive or walk since you can’t pay attention to your surroundings.
You may be worried about losing weight, fitting into your old jeans, or looking great in a swimsuit. These things motivate you to reduce your calories and food intake. However, fad diets and desperate attempts to lose weight can leave your brain without the proper nutrients. This is a dangerous and risky practice that can have long-term consequences.
Avoid skipping entire meals for days or weeks at a time. This type of unhealthy practice throws your entire body into starvation mode and hurts your brain, too.
You can avoid overeating without sacrificing important nutrients. You can reduce calories in a healthy way while ensuring you’re getting enough for your height and age. It may take some extra research when considering a diet, but your brain’s health is certainly worth it.