Check Yourself: Are you moving forward in recovery, or not?

Check Yourself: Are you moving forward in recovery, or not?

Are you Focused on Making Progress in Your Narcissistic Abuse Recovery or Maintaining the Status Quo?

Many survivors of narcissistic abuse believe they’re making progress because they’re working hard. A good way to predict the direction of your life is to measure how much of your time you’re actually trying to enhance it. Then consider how much of your time is spent just maintaining the status quo.

Most people believe they want something better and are working hard to accomplish it. In most cases, they’re expending a lot of mental energy wishing, fantasizing, and worrying. None of these are reliable ways to enhance your life. What have you done this week that will take your life and your narcissistic abuse recovery to the next level? If you’re like most people, you haven’t done as much as you’d have liked to do.

Change is challenging because there’s uncertainty. Familiarity is comforting, even if you’re unhappy. Most people naturally gravitate toward the familiar even if they’re miserable. If you can become comfortable with the prospect of change, progress is easy.

Be brave enough to create the change you desire:

Working hard isn’t enough. If you’re working hard on the wrong things, you’ll never see any progress. Effort matters, but only if you’re spending your time wisely. If you want to see real change, it’s necessary to spend time doing constructive things above and beyond what is required to live your current life.
Have you learned anything new lately? Learning new information can help to create change if you use the information. What are you doing instead of learning? Watching the same TV shows? You’re maintaining the status quo. New information leads to new understandings.

Are you spending time with anyone new? Hanging out with the same people each day is another good way to ensure that nothing changes. New people can change your perspective and introduce you to new ideas.

Are you doing anything new? The same gym workout repeated over and over again will ensure that you neither gain nor lose ground. The same behaviors deliver the same, reliable results. 

  • Going into the same job and providing the same efforts ensures the same paycheck.
  • Thinking the same thoughts results in the same actions.
  • Same hobbies? No changes coming.

What did you do today? At the end of each day, ask yourself two questions:

  • If I lived this same day over and over for the next 20 years, what would my finances, health, social life, and relationships look like?
  • Did I do anything today to take my life to the next level, or did I ensure that nothing will change in the future?
  • Write your responses in a journal. You’ll tire of not having anything interesting to write. You’ll spend more time trying to make a difference in your life. The answer to these two questions can predict the future better than you think.

Do you have goals? Do you measure your progress? Goals are nothing more than desired changes. If you have goals and you’re making progress, you can expect to see progress in your life. You’re choosing to maintain the status quo if you don’t have concrete goals. Any changes you experience will be due to random chance.

Most people claim they want a better life, but few are doing anything to make it happen. It’s easier to wish than to face uncertainty.

If you’re working hard but failing to gain any ground, spend some time each day doing something that will give you the chance to accomplish something new in the future. The more time you spend this way, the more progress you’ll make toward the life you desire.

How to stay safe from a stalker

How to stay safe from a stalker

What do you do when your narcissist won’t leave you alone?  Is your narcissist stalking you? Are you always looking behind you and feeling worried about your safety? Stalking is in the news nearly every day.

Last week, we heard about singer Lana Del Ray’s stalker story with him being arrested just blocks from her concert while in possession of both tickets and a knife.If you’ve ended a relationship with a narcissist and you’re now being stalked, this video is for you. Being stalked by your ex is a scary situation, but if you’re careful, you can stay safe from the stalker.

In today’s video, I’m sharing some really important safety tips on how to stay safe from a stalker as well as how to shake a stalker. I’ll also share tips from Dana Morningstar from Thrive After Abuse. Here are a few more resources to help keep you safe from your stalker.

More videos on how to avoid being sucked back in by the narcissist on this playlist: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mCvyo…

Free Download from VictimsofCrime.org: Stalking Handbook – https://victimsofcrime.org/docs/src/s…

How to Deal with Gaslighting or Ambient Abuse: What to Say When a Narcissist Tries to Gaslight You

How to Deal with Gaslighting or Ambient Abuse: What to Say When a Narcissist Tries to Gaslight You

Are you in a relationship with someone who makes you feel crazy and “not good enough” all the time? Do you find yourself constantly shocked at the outrageously disrespectful behavior and excessive bullying of a friend, family member or co-worker? This might be gaslighting or ambient abuse, and you may be dealing with a narcissist. Narcissists and people with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) make you feel worthless and numb, and they leave you wondering if you’re even a real person sometimes. It leads to CPTSD and many other issues. More Videos on Gaslighting on this playlist: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jLRc7…

How to Decide Who Gets to Stay in Your Life and Who Doesn’t Deserve You

How to Decide Who Gets to Stay in Your Life and Who Doesn’t Deserve You


Today, we’re discussing the No Contact Rule – When should you go no contact with a narcissist? (Plus The No-Contact Test)

Be sure you stay tuned to the end of the video to learn how to do the “No Contact Test” on someone new in your life. Dana Morningstar and I will also discuss Deal Breakers.

I’ve made a terrible mistake

I’ve made a terrible mistake


I’ve made a terrible mistake – and here’s how it can help your narcissistic relationship recovery. If you are someone who is recovering from a toxic relationship, then you know how easy it can be to fall off the wagon. I did that over the weekend, and today I’m sharing my confession of what I did wrong and what I’m doing to change it in the future.

Plus ,I’ll share a message of hope for you – and for me. Recovering from a narcissistic relationship is hard work – and overcoming toxic families is even harder. Today, we’re going to get through this together.

Our self-talk creates reality. And we know all about self-talk psychology, don’t we? But it’s easy to understand in theory. In real life, it’s a lot harder to implement – and to stick with. Even when we think we’ve got it all handled. Trust me – I know what I’m talking about here.

Invalidation is part of codependency and CPTSD. We have to validate OURSELVES.

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