Are you comfortable with only making $50k or being 20 lbs. overweight? If you don’t raise your standards, you’re stuck. Are you okay with marrying someone that hits you a few times a year and verbally abuses you the rest of the time? What is the outcome of that standard?
You’re likely to end up with whatever is acceptable to you and little more.
1. Your standards determine the lower level of what’s acceptable to you. What’s the least you’re willing to accept in your life? What do you really want? You won’t sink below your standards, but you won’t rise too far above them either. When your standards have been violated, you’ll get busy in a hurry to change your situation.
2. You can raise your standards at any time. Your standards are entirely up to you. You have the right to thrive. You weren’t put on the planet to just exist and scrape by. Determine your own destiny.
3. Your most important standards deal with your own conduct. Are you willing to tolerate being late again? Procrastination? Letting your family down? Not speaking up for yourself? Making changes in this area will have the greatest impact because all aspects of your life are influenced. Become a more effective person by raising your expectations of your behavior.
4. Determine a standard you’re committed to raising. Perhaps you’d like to make more money or take more calculated risks in life. What would impact your life the most? How would your behavior change if you adopted that new standard?
5. Visualize success in that area. Imagine yourself in that high-paying job or enjoying time with better friends. Focus on the feeling it generates. That feeling will draw you to your new standards like a magnet.
6. Take aggressive action. You’ll know when your new standards have taken hold because your behavior will change. If you’re still stuck, your standards haven’t changed enough.
7. See your new standard as a fundamental shift, rather than as a goal. See yourself as the person that makes health a priority. This is much more powerful than having a goal of losing 25 lbs. When you change who you are, many of your results will change, too.
8. Recognize when you’re living up to your new standards. If you’re trying to save more money, make note of all the times you’re behaving congruently. You might buy less expensive food at the store, skip your morning latte, or carpool to work. Point out your progress to yourself and feel excited.
9. Consider what could happen if you fail to live up to your new standards. Keeping with the money-saving example, you might not be able to pay your bills on time or you might have to work at 65 instead of retiring. Make a list and understand the pain you face if you don’t stay on track.
Tony Robbins has said that raising his standards was the most important factor in turning his life around. It’s important to set a baseline for what you’re willing to accept in life. You don’t get what you want in life, you get what you’re willing to tolerate. Have high standards and your life will rise to meet them.
ADOPTION MYSTERY SOLVED! We Found His Birth Family: Abandoned in a Phone Booth at Birth – Birth Family Reunion
My husband was born on or about June 6, 1972. Within 12 hours of his birth, he was found by a passerby in a telephone booth at 7-Eleven at 4039 Metropolitan Ave. in Kansas City, KS around 9 a.m. on June 7, 1972. According to an article we found about his situation, he was supposed to be taken to a foster home until authorities could either locate his mother or birth family or until he could be adopted. He was adopted by his adoptive parents by June 20, 1972. His adoptive father passed away when my husband was 12, and his adoptive mother continued to raise him. He has always been loved, cared for and generally treated very well by his family and in fact has no desire to replace them–we just want to learn about his birth family. We did obtain his original birth certificate from the state of Kansas, and his name was listed as “Stephen Michael Doe.” We assume the name was given to him by someone who found him, the nurses at the hospital or maybe the foster family. His mother tells us she and her husband went to a home in Kansas City where a friend of theirs who was also a judge showed up with the baby. Sometime later, the three went to the courthouse and met with a social worker, who produced a semi-detailed report about the visit (we have a copy, and I will upload it as soon as I can). The Atkinsons, my husband’s adoptive parents, left the courthouse that day with him and the adoption approved. It was finalized sometime later. The Search Since the first time my husband told me about his story, I’ve been very curious about his birth family. But once I gave birth to his children, my curiosity changed into an intense need to learn about his biological family. My husband has never tried to search on his own, but when I told him about my search and showed him what I’d found so far, he was excited and has been supportive of my efforts.
If you’re dealing with recovery from narcissistic abuse or you’re struggling to leave a narcissist, chances are you’re not really into taking chances. You may have developed a feeling of being “stuck” and unable to make a change. But one of the best ways to make positive changes to your life is to take more risks. Life is more exciting and rewarding when you’re willing to put yourself out there and take a few chances. Plus, successful people take more risks than unsuccessful people.
With a little practice, you’ll find that taking a chance or two adds immeasurably to your life.
Consider these benefits of taking a chance and reap the power it gives you:
Taking chances enables you to move beyond your comfort zone. Nothing ever changes if you don’t do something new. It’s not easy to force yourself to do something that makes you feel uncomfortable, but it’s necessary if you want to experience growth in your life. Imagine the new adventures you can have! Taking chances gives you power over yourself. Most people are risk-averse. It’s not in our genetic makeup to take chances. We’re like an antelope hiding in the tall grass, afraid to run out in the open for fear of being eaten by a lion. But there is tremendous power in taking chances.
When you can make yourself do things you don’t want to do, you realize that you’re conquering yourself.
This power extends to other areas of your life. You’ll find that you’ll do a better job of taking care of the mundane, but necessary, tasks in life. Taking action in the face of discomfort has a powerful impact on your life.
Taking chances gives you greater power over your life. You can take control of your life by taking steps to build the life that you desire. This gives you greater control. You can determine how you want to move forward, how you can overcome obstacles, and then do it.
Think of the people that never take chances. They’re much more susceptible to the randomness of life. External conditions have a greater effect. By taking a chance, you can avoid all this.
Taking chances reduces feelings of regret. More people regret the things they didn’t do than the things they did. Not taking chances in life leads to regret in your later years. You don’t want to be one of those people that looks back on his life and wonders, “What if?” Your life is more exciting when you take chances. One of the most frequent complaints of adults is boredom. Do you live the same day over and over? The time flies by because there’s nothing to differentiate one day from the next. There are no victories or defeats, just the dullness that comes from monotony.
Add some spice to your life and have a reason to get up in the morning. Take a chance or two.
You’ll develop greater self-confidence and self-esteem. When you have control over yourself and your life, you feel pretty good about yourself. These qualities influence all the other parts of your life, too. You have more opportunities. Taking chances exposes you to even greater opportunities. When you’re willing to act boldly, life seems to meet you halfway. It can be a great boost to the amount of success you experience in life.
Taking chances can be scary, but ask yourself what you have to lose. Whether it’s approaching someone attractive or sending your resume to your dream company, what do you have to lose? Most risks have little potential for real loss. The threat is inside your head.
For your best results, start slowly. Decide to take one small risk each day for a month and measure the effect it has on your life. Then you can move up to taking bigger chances as your tolerance for discomfort improves.
Discover the power of taking a chance. Start today! You’ll be glad you did!