Special Holiday Rate for One-Hour Coaching Sessions With Lise Colucci
As the holidays approach, we want to make narcissistic abuse recovery support coaching as accessible as possible without breaking your budget. We know firsthand how tough the holidays can be for survivors of narcissistic abuse. That’s why we’ve decided to offer extremely discounted, personal one-on-one coaching starting today.
Narcissistic Personality Disorder and Cognitive Distortions – According to my research, there’s such a thing as “cognitive distortions” which are often associated with narcissists and psychopaths, people with NPD (narcissistic personality disorder) and those in psychopathological states.
What are cognitive distortions?
These cognitive distortions are defined as “exaggerated or irrational thought patterns that are believed to perpetuate the effects of psychopathological states, especially depression and anxiety.”
The first person to study these kinds of distortions was psychiatrist Aaron T. Beck. Along with his student David D. Burns, Beck built up significant research on the topic. Burns’ 1989 book, The Feeling Good Handbook presented an overview of these twisted thought patterns along with his suggestions on how to eliminate them. In general, cognitive distortions cause people to perceive reality differently than literally everyone around them. Someone with Cluster B traits is less likely to perceive events and situations the way that most people do. This kind of thinking is often involved in the gaslighting process.
What is gaslighting?
Gaslighting is a common manipulation technique used by most narcissists and other toxic people. It’s is an incredibly pervasive and highly-effective tactic meant to manipulate you by psychological means into questioning your own sanity. In other words, gaslighting is meant to make you doubt your reality, your perception of the people and situations in your life, and even your own thoughts about those things. Narcissists gaslight you in order to make you feel confused and overwhelmed. This often leads to you becoming increasingly dependent on the narcissist to tell you what YOU think and feel. It is a form of psychological abuse.
Narcissists Believe Their Own Lies: This is Why
Narcissists have the utmost faith in their personal convictions, and they’re no less convinced of their own lies than “normal” people are of basic facts (the sky is blue, the grass is green). In fact, narcissists actually believe their own lies – and that is why they are so convincing.
For some especially charismatic narcissists, that blind self-faith becomes pretty contagious. That’s because we’re programmed to only detect lies that are blatant – and since many narcissists actually BELIEVE their own lies, they can be very convincing. To them, their twisted perceptions have become real – so real, that they seem to be the actual truth.
How to Deal with a Narcissist and Their Cognitive Distortions
Narcissists and their manipulation tactics will drive you over the edge – they are crazymaking! The best way to deal with a narcissist in almost any situation is to use the gray rock method. Gray rock is a coping technique for survivors of narcissistic abuse. The technique was named and first published by a writer called Skylar, who advises that you act boring and don’t react to the narcissist’s attempts to engage you in drama. The tactic is highly effective but also infuriating for narcissists to experience.
Please be careful, though. Use the gray rock method with caution if you are dealing with any physical abuse as the narcissist may not react well.
The QueenBeeing SPANily, Official – We consider this to be the best narcissistic abuse recovery support group on the web. Offers several subgroups and features a vigilant, compassionate admin team full of trained coaches and survivors, supporting more than 12k members. SPAN is an acronym created by Angie Atkinson that stands for Support for People Affected by Narcissistic abuse in toxic relationships.
Other Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support Groups– We also have separate groups for each stage in your narcissistic abuse recovery, as well as some for those who have moved past recovery and are evolving into the next stage of their own life. Survivors have unique and individual needs, even when they’ve moved on – so we’re still here for you.
One-on-One Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Coaching – If you prefer to get more personalized support in your recovery, you might like to schedule a session with one of our coaches to plan and execute your own narcissistic abuse recovery plan.
Find a Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Therapist – If you’re looking for a therapist for narcissistic abuse recovery, either because you cannot afford coaching and want to use your health insurance or because you have additional issues you need to address that do not fall within the realm of coaching, you will want to find the right therapist for you – and as far as we’re concerned, that therapist must understand what you’ve been through. This page offers assistance to help you do exactly that.
I feel like I want to die. How do I deal with feeling suicidal after a toxic relationship?
Self-isolation and mourningthe relationship can be okay for a short time unless you’re in such a state that you might be a danger to yourself.
Please note: I am not a doctor, and I do not personally know your story. I cannot offer any medical or health advice, so if you doubt that you will be safe, you MUST contact your doctor or go immediately to the nearest emergency room.
Even if you aren’t sure, please see your doctor or other medical professional and get checked out, just to be safe.
Be honest with your healthcare provider and let them know you’re worried you might be a danger to yourself.
**Second Edition, Updated 2019**Includes new chapters and information as well as an updated, more robust section on overcoming trauma bonding featuring Lise Colucci.
Are you tired of feeling like you’re not good enough? Do you wish that someone in your life would just put your feelings first, for once? Or maybe just to consider you at all? Tired of being told you’re the crazy one as you deal with mind games at home or work? You might just be involved with a narcissist.
Narcissists are abusers – but they don’t usually beat their victims physically. No, narcissists are sneaky – they’re much more insidious in their form of abuse. When you think of someone in an abusive relationship, you think of someone who is getting beaten and battered on a regular basis, right? But while domestic violence is heartbreaking and unacceptable, there’s another form of abuse that might be even more dangerous. But even though you can’t always see physical evidence of abuse, the kind of overwhelming, all-consuming emotional abuse inflicted on the victims of narcissists is a form of aggression that should also be recognized.
The soul-crushing kind of abuse that is inflicted on the people who love a narcissist might not be visible to the naked eye, but it can leave devastating emotional scars that never go away. Most people have no idea how much the “sources” of narcissistic supply suffer in their relationships – and yet when these victims speak up, people often mistake them for whiners and dismiss their pain. This, of course, leaves them confused and blaming themselves for everything that is wrong in their lives.
This book offers an in-depth guide to surviving and thriving during and after life with a narcissist, in whatever degree necessary for your life. You’ll learn to recognize narcissism in those around you, plus how to identify and stop typical manipulation techniques, such as gaslighting, in their tracks. (Read More)