The Narcissist Was Wrong About You!

The Narcissist Was Wrong About You!

“You deserve to be happy. You deserve to live a life that lights you up. Don’t ever forget that.” ~Coco Calla

Going through narcissistic abuse in a toxic relationship is one of those situations that steals your soul, in a way. What I mean is that it teaches you that you don’t matter and that your thoughts and feelings aren’t as real or relevant as other people’s thoughts and feelings. You might think you don’t deserve to have “nice things” in your life, and that you are, in general, just not as “good” as other people. You might feel broken, damaged, or even somehow inferior to literally everyone else. You might feel like a fraud – like everything you are is fake, even if you can’t be sure why you feel this way.

But there’s something you need to know if this resonates with you: those feelings are inaccurate. You matter. Your thoughts and feelings are real and relevant and they are worth hearing.  You are a real person and you absolutely are as important and as good as everyone else. You may have suffered some traumas, and that doesn’t make you bad. You might have a lot of healing to do, but that doesn’t make you less real. You might still be trying to figure out who you really are – and that is a beautiful thing if you allow it to be.

And when you think that you don’t deserve “good things” in your life, you’re thinking thoughts that, in a way, aren’t even your own. See, you most likely came to believe this because of the narcissists (and other toxic people in your life) who told you that you weren’t good enough in so many different ways.

Narcissistic Abuse Changes You

Being with a narcissist changes who you become in some pretty big ways. It changes you from someone who might have been a happy, confident, secure person into someone who doubts their worth and their value every day. It takes away your ability to have a healthy, full life and causes you to hyper-focus on it as you try in vain to resolve it, repeatedly, over and over again.

What happens during a relationship with a toxic narcissist to lead to these changes? In this video, I walk you through some of the most common feelings and experiences that lead to the loss of self in a toxic relationship, plus we will talk about self-help techniques you can use to heal and start to find yourself again.

These toxic parents, spouses and other partners, family members, and friends would have made you feel worthless, invisible, perpetually pressured, and unimportant, or some combination of these feelings. They would have led you to believe that your value was conditional: you were only “okay” if you were doing exactly what they wanted you to do. But thankfully, that’s not the truth. Those people were WRONG. So, let’s discuss why you DO deserve to have the things, people, and situations you want in your life you want and how you can go about realizing that you are good enough.

Change Your Narrative

Toxic relationships can make you feel like you don’t deserve anything good. Your parents, teachers, school bullies, friends, and other people in your childhood may have made you feel this way with the way they treated you.  The beliefs that these people taught us (about both ourselves and the world around us) can be deep-rooted and hard to let go of – but with a little intention and focus, it’s entirely possible.

So how do you stop thinking this way?

Start with unconditional self-acceptance – accept yourself without judgment, flaws and all. This video offers tips on developing unconditional self-acceptance and self-esteem.

Things that can help you feel better about yourself and your life

  1. Try a daily gratitude practice – Think of 3 things you love about yourself and 10 things you’re grateful for every single day. And use Intentional vibration management
  2. Take care of your body. Don’t forget to include the following components of healing.

Each of these is covered in detail in this video. Plus a replay of the live Q&A at the end of the content.

Get your questions answered privately by text.

Be sure to visit Shine.Buzz for more positively-focused content!

Get Help With Narcissistic Abuse Recovery

Have you been the victim of narcissistic rage and narcissistic injury? You might enjoy these related articles. 

How and Why Narcissists Hoover

How and Why Narcissists Hoover

Have you been Hoovered?

What is a Hoover and why do the narcissists do this? Will they ever stop and what can you do about it to keep yourself away from the narcissist and heal trauma bonds? The Hoover is basically the narcissists attempt to suck you back in, to make you believe they have changed or to simply provoke you in order to gain supply. The majority of narcissistic abuse survivors have experienced a Hoover in some form or another. Some attempts at sucking you back in may be subtle and covert while others may be negative attempts to get your attention focused back onto the narcissist. Some narcissists claim they have changed and tell you they will make things better or even seek therapy for their issues. Understanding the truth about narcissism can help you make decisions based on knowledge rather than the illusions the narcissist is trying to create to entice you back.  The narcissist does not like to let go of what they feel is theirs, mainly the supply they take from you. In the following video I talk about types of Hoovers, what the Hoovers may really mean and ways to protect yourself.

Narcissistic Abuse Recovery by QueenBeeing.com offers free video coaching each week on Mondays, Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays along with videos and help on recovery from toxic relationships. Featuring certified life coach Lise Colucci and supported by QueenBeeing founder and certified life coach Angie Atkinson.

Lise Colucci is a certified life coach, as well as a certified narcissistic abuse recovery coach. She is a long-time admin and mentor for the SPAN Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Group, actively helping survivors of narcissistic abuse in the expansive community to learn and heal.  Lise is passionate about providing coaching services that help her clients feel heard and validated as she guides them along their healing journey. For information on coaching, group coaching or to contact Lise check out the links below.

Join our private coaching group https://lifemakeoveracademy.teachable…

Get one-on-one coaching with Lise Colucci at https://queenbeeing.com/lise-colucci-…

Get notified free for free video coaching sessions by texting LISELIVE to 33222. Find Lise on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lise.colucci… Email Lise at [email protected]

If you’re tired of hearing about narcissists, this is for you.

If you’re tired of hearing about narcissists, this is for you.

In this video, I’m introducing the brand new Shine Buzz Daily Show on YouTube.

Tired of Binge-Watching Narcissist Videos? Watch this. Life hasn’t always been a bed of roses for you as a narcissistic abuse survivor.

But you’ve learned your lessons, and you’ve done a lot of the work of healing. These days, you’re starting to feel like it’s time to get on with it.

Maybe you feel like you’re kind of “over it” when it comes to learning about narcissists and their psychology.

You feel like you’re ready to be done with the hard part. You’re finished (or close to being done with) healing. You’re ready to start actually living and becoming the person you want to be – and creating the life you deserve. Well, my friend. You have come to the right place.

Introducing Shine.Buzz Daily! So much of what we see in the media today is negative. And the unfortunate fact is that it negatively affects our entire lives in bigger ways than we realize. When our vibration is low, we attract more negativity into our lives. But SHINE.Buzz is here to change all that.

It’s all about positive, inspirational, funny and/or helpful stuff intended to help give you that daily “SHINE Buzz” you need to lift your vibration and begin to attract more positivity into your life every day.

Cards Used in the Show:
Gabrielle Bernstein Super Attractor Deck
DBT Cards 

20 Signs of Covert Narcissism

20 Signs of Covert Narcissism

What are the signs of COVERT NARCISSISM?

Some times survivors are confused by the abuse they faced because some of the things experienced do not line up with other stories they hear about narcissistic behaviors. Maybe things seem a bit “less bad” compared to what you hear others say or perhaps you really can’t tell because the abuse is so well hidden and subtle. Are you finding it hard to know if you are really dealing with abuse because you can’t even explain what it is that feels so abusive? Do you never know what you are even arguing about yet are made to feel somehow it is all your fault? Do you find ways to justify what the narcissist did because the blame has been shifted or they cleverly play the victim? Has the narcissist in your life never used words that sound abusive but the intent and delivery of those words felt like clear attacks?

In the following video I talk about 20 signs of covert narcissism and give descriptions to help shine some light on covert and deceptive  behaviors as well as give you a bit of validation that what you are or did experience is indeed what happened. Many people experience the abuse of a covert narcissist for years without understanding what it is they are facing. The hidden manipulations can be twisted up and so subtle that even to explain it can sound to some people like “no big deal”. If you have ever had the misfortune to be in a relationship of any kind with a covert narcissist you know it is indeed a very big deal that can really play games with your mind and self-worth.

Narcissistic Abuse Recovery by QueenBeeing.com offers free video coaching each week on Mondays, Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays along with videos and help on recovery from toxic relationships. Featuring certified life coach Lise Colucci and supported by QueenBeeing founder and certified life coach Angie Atkinson.

Join our private coaching group https://lifemakeoveracademy.teachable… Get one-on-one coaching with Lise Colucci at https://queenbeeing.com/lise-colucci-… Get notified free for free video coaching sessions by texting LISELIVE to 33222. Find Lise on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lise.colucci… Email Lise at [email protected]

How to Not Let Others’ Negativity Affect Your Mood and Experiences

How to Not Let Others’ Negativity Affect Your Mood and Experiences

“Stop letting people who do so little for you control so much of your mind, feelings and emotions.” ~Will Smith

When you’re dealing with a negative person, whether they’re a toxic narcissist or not, they might have a way of dumping their emotional garbage on your doorstep. This leaves them feeling relieved and leaves you feeling sad and miserable – and you’re left to deal with all of those emotions.

In this video, I’ll explain exactly what you can do to learn how to control your mind so that you don’t let others’ negativity affect you. In learning how to control your mind and your emotions, you become more powerful.

Once You’ve Watched the Video, How To Control Your Mind (How to Not Let Others’ Negativity Affect You), Read the Following.

Despite what you may have thought during and after being involved in a toxic relationship with a narcissist, you are NOT anyone’s emotional dumpster! But if you think about it, most narcissists use their primary source of supply as exactly that – at least some of the time.

As you move through your recovery, how do you feel inside when you allow others to dump their negativity – their complaints, their anger, their self-centeredness and sense of entitlement onto you? If you really look inside instead of pushing your own feelings into a closet, you will discover that you feel really lonely with these people. There is no mutual support, no sharing of love, no mutual giving and receiving. You give and they take, and you end up feeling drained and lonely. Yet you hang in there for fear of being alone with no friends or no partner.

If you are really honest with yourself, you will find that it’s not worth it – that you deserve better than to be an emotional dumpster for others’ negativity.

It takes faith and courage to speak up for yourself. It takes courage to say to your friend who is dumping her negativity onto you, “This doesn’t feel good. Whenever we are together all you do is complain or talk on and on about yourself. You are never interested in me at all, and this is no longer okay with me. Either this needs to change or I don’t want to spend time with you. It’s not fun for me and I just end up feeling used and drained.”

When you become willing to speak up for yourself, you will discover who really are your friends and who was just using you. Some people – those who are relatively emotionally healthy, anyway – may say, “I’m so grateful you told me this. I didn’t realize I was doing this. I want to stop, and I would appreciate your pointing it out to me next time I do it.”

Others, including many narcissists, will go into denial and say, “That’s not true. I listen to you all the time.” This may continue until the narcissists just get angry and/or go away (or discard you) at least temporarily.

Here’s more helpful information for you.

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