What is Human Disconnect?

What is Human Disconnect?

Have you ever been in a crowded space and still felt completely alone and separate from everyone else? Do you secretly wonder if you’re the only one who doesn’t know the joke? If you have, you’re not alone. Many narcissistic abuse survivors feel this way. 

Have you ever felt disconnected from everyone and everything around you? 

There’s a chance you’re dealing with “human disconnect,” a term coined by Dr. Judy Rosenberg, and it’s a bit more complex than it sounds.

As society progresses to the point that we are less and less able (or willing) to be “out there” in the world, doing normal, real-world things, the more isolated we become as individuals. and this is exactly why it so important to understand the definition of human disconnect

We now order groceries at 3 a.m. and wake up the next morning to find them gently stacked on the front porch. We can have nearly anything we want hand-delivered and left at our door. 

Since I recently had the privilege of discussing this with Dr. Judy herself, I was able to ask questions and get clarification on the meaning of “human disconnect,” and what it means in relation to narcissistic abuse. I’m sharing our conversation with Dr. Judy’s permission.

What is Human Disconnect?

Dr. Judy explained that “human disconnect” is a condition that is relatively common among humans, but it doesn’t affect only individual humans and no one else. In fact, it affects society, communities, and cultures.

“What (Human Disconnect) means is that it’s a disconnect from your own soul, self, community, and family.” Dr. Judy said, adding that, “it can mean a disconnect from your own ability to feel emotions as well as to truly connect in a healthy way with others.”

She explained that when we experience pain from abuse or neglect, it causes a disconnection from the person who is inflicting the pain.

In other words, you emotionally detach from that person – and in my experience, that makes a lot of sense. And, in so many cases, you emotionally detach from yourself somewhere along the way too. 

Human Disconnect Leads to Global Disconnect

“The disconnect can take the form of fight, flight, freeze, or fawn – and it breaks trust,” Dr. Judy said. “This breaking of trust can then project on other people and communities and create more human disconnect.” 

Of course, for each person who deals with human disconnect, a few more could be “broken down” and destroyed, left feeling alone, abandoned, and disconnected. 

All of that, Dr, Judy told me, is the perfect storm to create Global Disconnect – which she says she’s working to help solve as part of her larger missions. It occurs to me that human disconnect is some kind of viral outbreak of loneliness and separateness. It can feel almost like it’s out of our control and we don’t have a choice.  

What causes Human Disconnect?

Human disconnect starts with the original human disconnect, Dr. Judy told me, nodding when I asked if she was referring to attachment styles. 

“Yes, think John Bowlby and attachment theory,” she said. “And then it becomes projected onto other people and relationships. All of this can lead to globally creating a global disconnect – we as a society are currently staring in the eyes at this right now.  Bigtime.”

The original disconnect would be due to the development of attachment styles as early as birth. “When there is not healthy attachment,” Dr. Judy says, reminding me to consider Dr. Bowlby’s attachment theory

What is attachment theory?

Attachment theory states that our relationships with our mothers can affect us and our lifelong development (and even our relationships with others) in profound ways. The theory first originated in 1958, when John Bowlby recognized the importance of a child’s relationship with their mother.

Bowlby found that our emotional, social, and cognitive development are all directly affected by our attachment to our mothers, which begins at birth and can be affected by her own attachment style, which would be affected by her mother’s, and so on. 

He also noticed that children who were separated from their mothers experienced extreme distress, which he assumed led to anxiety related to the idea that their mothers fed and cared for them.

But Bowlby and his fellow researchers noticed something kind of unexpected: that the separation anxiety would not diminish even when the kids were fed and cared for by other caregivers. Even the youngest children seemed to still miss their mothers. 

Bowlby was the first to propose that attachment could be an evolutionary thing – the child’s caregiver obviously is the person who provides safety, security, and food.

So, he reckoned, being attached to the mother would increase a baby’s chance of survival.

Toxicity Runs in the Family

In this video, I break down attachment theory and how it explains narcissists, codependents, and the reasons this sort of toxicity tends to “run in the family,” so to speak,.

Resources for Healing Human Disconnect

Start Getting Help with Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Today

Online help is readily available for survivors of narcissistic abuse. Here are some options to begin healing from narcissistic abuse right away.

Dr. Judy Rosenberg on Healing Global Disconnect

Dr. Judy Rosenberg on Healing Global Disconnect

A STATEMENT FROM DR. JUDY ROSENBERG founder of the Psychological Healing Center & the Be The Cause system of healing human & global disconnect

Healing global disconnect is long overdue.

As a psychologist, I know that for us to be healthy on a global level, we need individual healing. As you can see our micro problems have gone full blow macro with a threat of global nuclear clash.

Although we are under the power and control of our leaders and are essentially in a hostage situation, we all have the power of choice.

As hard as that might be in some circumstances, the message I want to convey is that before we identify with our isms of race, politics, nationality, socioeconomic, or any other ism, we are first and foremost, human beings.

What is Global Disconnect?

Global Disconnect comes in many forms such as racism, sexism, politics, religion, etc. Sadly, when individuals become heavily defended because of fear of getting re-injured, there will be little vulnerability and connection.

This results in global breakdown and extreme darkness such as wars, hate groups, and anything that causes separation and fracturing of humanity.

 

The Pathway to a Healthier and More United Humanity

The Mind Map was originally intended to create a system of healing of the individual for the individual to then start helping heal outwardly on a global level. From a global perspective, we are interconnected and all one people.

It’s the fracturing and splintering of humanity that has disconnected us from creating unity. By healing human disconnect – the childhood and cultural wounds that affect and infect us both individually and as a human race, we can create a more sustainable and synergistic global system.

Via the Be The Cause Mind Map® System, we can Be The Cause® of creating a pathway to a healthier and more united humanity.

Power and Control vs. Love and Intimacy

I’ve done talks and episodes regarding power and control vs love and intimacy. Our current world is a representation of the former (power and control). Power and control are the way of narcissism.

Disconnected from the heart, the narcissist lacks empathy. One step further is the sociopath. Sociopathic way: demean, devalue, destroy discard without any regard to the destruction left in its wake.

What can we do as individuals?

Where does our power lie? Individual freedom of choice.

Starting with the basic concept that consciousness is causal, we can all choose our own version of intimacy and love as our pathway to healing individually and globally. This is also to recognize that sometimes taking the path of free choice is not always the safest way.

Case in point, the people of Ukraine and their leader, standing up and looking at death and destruction in the face. This is not an easy choice and certainly no shame in our human fragility and backing down.

After all, not everyone has the constitution to put their life on the line. I believe that by putting your consciousness in a state of interconnection to humanity, we can conquer the darkness of tyrannical systems.

There is power in global unity against these dark forces in whichever way you uniquely can express that. We all have our own unique light via our talents such as art, music, communication, or however your expression looks like.

I am inviting you to tap into your own unique love and vulnerability to be the cause of creating light during these very dark times.

Start Getting Help with Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Today

Online help is readily available for survivors of narcissistic abuse. Here are some options to begin healing from narcissistic abuse right away.

Why do narcissists downplay your worth?

Why do narcissists downplay your worth?

Have you ever wondered why narcissists have a way of minimizing everything you do, say, think, or feel?

Narcissists are never generous with praise unless they’re using it as a way to manipulate you. In general, once they get past the love-bombing phase of the relationship, narcissists have a way of never doing or saying anything to make you feel good about yourself. 

If you feel like you have to work a little harder to earn the praise of a narcissist, it’s not because they’re harder to please or discriminating in their approval. It’s because they have reached the “devalue” phase of the toxic relationship. 

What is the devalue phase of the toxic relationship?

Devaluation is what happens when a narcissist tears you down emotionally, insults you (outright or covertly), and makes you doubt yourself and your self-worth. This is done as part of the cycle of abuse and when effective, it can cause you to believe you don’t have a chance of finding someone better, or that you’re not worthy of love or consideration.

The narcissist will often use devaluation to keep you from leaving by implanting such ideas in your head. Alternatively, some narcissists don’t even recognize they’re doing it since it’s part of the standard cycle of abuse. It can happen to a “thing” just as easily as a person when a narcissist is involved.

Why does the narcissist downplay your worth?

Narcissists downplay your worth and highlight their own accomplishments, in part because they want to keep you feeling inferior, but it’s more complicated than this. In fact, narcissists use their “false selves” to mask their deeply profound insecurity and often use this tactic to sort of boost their own ego.

It’s all about making sure they have control over us and keeping us feeling less than them so they can get what they want out of life while using our goodwill as leverage against us when needed.

In other words, they need to feel that they are above you, that they are superior to you in every single way.

What does it mean when the narcissist compliments you?

Do you sometimes feel that when narcissists do compliment you or praise you it is not genuine? Well, you are right. It isn’t. As a matter of fact; narcissists downplay the worth of those with whom they wish to gain favor.

If we are on their good side (during the idealization or love-bombing phase), then we will get compliments from them about how wonderful we are doing at work or school or even in our personal relationships.

Sometimes when narcissists compliment us, it is done so in a way that makes us feel inferior or lesser than them – or it’s about impressing someone else who overhears the compliment. The other reason a narcissist might compliment you outside of the love-bombing phase is to take credit for your work or efforts in some way.

Explaining by Example: The Narcissist at Work

In order to understand this behavior better; let us consider an example of how someone with narcissistic personality disorder might behave in a work environment. The narcissist will often claim credit for various projects even if he or she had nothing to do with their completion or success.

They will brag about their accomplishments and compare them favorably to others’. At the same time, he or she will also put down coworkers and subordinates who may have made similar contributions but not received as much recognition as they did.

Narcissists like to make themselves seem better than everyone else around them, especially if these people have something that the narcissist does not have (money, power, fame).

So, when a narcissist compliments you, it is not because of your worth, beauty, or talents. It is to get you under their authority so that they can use your talents for their own good.

Learn more about narcissists and the devalue phase of the toxic relationship

In this video, I explain the devalue phase in detail and offer tips on how to deal with the narcissist who is actively downplaying your worth. 

Start Getting Help with Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Today

 

 

Pin It on Pinterest