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Behind You 79

 

As I have gone through the journey to create my best life, there were a few bumps and bruises along the way, such as the time I found out I had sleep apnea due in part to the extra weight I was carrying around at the time. The following is a post I wrote back in 2006 regarding the way I felt about myself and my life. So much has changed since then!

 

I am 31 years old. I have two beautiful children and a wonderful husband. We aren’t rich, but we manage to get by and even have a few luxuries.

 

I feel like I have “it all”, so to speak. I can’t really complain too much. Of course, there are things that I want, but most of those, I could give to myself if I just got off my ass (literally and figuratively) and worked hard.

 

I want to be a successful writer. I could be, if I worked hard at it.

 

I want to be healthy so I can live to take care of my kids. I could be, if I worked hard at it.

 

What else? Not much, really. I’m very satisfied with most of my life.

 

So what is stopping me from achieving those two not so tiny goals?

 

Pure laziness, pure exhaustion, plain and simple. I know what to do, and I even know how to do it—but I am constantly exhausted. I barely have the energy to do what I have to in order to take care of my family.

 

So, Wednesday, I had a minor procedure to remove an errant IUD. That might help a little. Then, yesterday, I went to the doctor to find out that not only do I have high blood pressure, but I also probably have sleep apnea—which could be causing my exhaustion.

Hmm, imagine. So I have to go and get a sleep study done, and will most likely be expected to sleep from now on with a machine on my face. Okay, I pretty much already knew I had sleep apnea, but had no idea it could be causing so many of my other problems.

So I am going to look at this as a good thing. Perhaps I will gain the energy I need to meet my goals, and to be a better mom and wife. To be a better me. Sounds perfect.

 

Well, here’s the bottom line. I am learning (the hard and painful way) that if I don’t take care of ME, I won’t be around much longer to take care of anyone else. So I am committing to that, today, right now as I’m typing this.

I will start taking care of ME. I will work to get healthy so that I can accomplish my goals and dreams. If I don’t do it, no one else will do it for me. It’s time that I take a stand for myself, and do something to improve the quality of MY life, and in so doing, the lives of my family.

 

Okay, I’ll get off the soapbox now.

 

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