Believe in Yourself: Boost Your Confidence in Just 30 Days
After you go through narcissistic abuse in a toxic relationship, you might find yourself struggling to find your self-confidence. In fact, if you’re honest with yourself, you might even believe in others more than you believe in yourself. You’re probably the first to encourage a friend to keep going because they have what it takes. But when it comes to encouraging yourself, it’s easy to shy away due to self-doubt.
After all, your ability to love yourself as you are can change your life. And it’s not fair to cheat yourself out of opportunities. But here’s the thing. Not only can having low self-confidence can cause you to lose out on awesome experiences, but it can also lead you to fall into another toxic relationship with someone who just doesn’t deserve that. So, what can you do to boost your self-confidence and feel more in control of your own life?
How do you boost your self-confidence after narcissistic abuse in a toxic relationship?
Narcissistic abuse recovery offers many opportunities to change your life for the better, and it’s the ideal time to start focusing on yourself and work on boosting your confidence. Even better, it’s surprisingly easy to make it happen, if you do so intentionally.
Follow these steps to boost your confidence and start believing in yourself.
Self-doubt is often developed out of hesitation. Do you take a long time to act on an impulse? If you see an opportunity, does it take you a while to go after it? The longer you take to pursue something, the more reasons you’ll find for justifying your unsuitability for the opportunity.
- Avoid “sleeping on it” if you can decide right away. For a self-doubter, delaying a response usually means losing the confidence to go after the opportunity.
- Do you think you’re not ideal for a new role you’ve been offered at work? Forget about that for a minute. Focus on the fact that you were actually offered the job for a reason!
Challenge negative thinking.
It’s easy to diminish self-confidence by harboring negative thoughts. But before you accept negative thoughts about yourself as a reality, challenge the thinking.
- Instead of accepting you’re not good enough, take a moment to think about the facts. Have there been instances that support your negative thinking? If the answer is yes, then remind yourself of your many positive experiences as well.
- Beware of thought patterns that can eat away at your self-esteem. Avoid looking at life as “black or white” and live in the grey area sometimes. You may not have one trait or another, but you could have the perfect combination of what you need for your life!
- Always be sure to differentiate between feelings and facts. Just because something makes you feel a particular way doesn’t mean there’s any fact in it.
Be kind to yourself.
As someone who rarely displays self-confidence, you probably give yourself a hard time and consider yourself inadequate or ill-equipped. But when was the last time you were actually kind to yourself?
- Spend some time each day highlighting your positive traits. Remind yourself what makes you beautiful inside and out.
Celebrate small victories!
Celebrate the small successes to help remind yourself that you’re actually more amazing than you give yourself credit for.
- Try spending some time with positive people. Their energy rubs off quite easily!
Learn to listen to and accept compliments.
Most of the time when people say nice things about you, they mean it! Take the time to really hear what positive things are being said about you. Absorb the thought and believe them!
- If someone says you’re beautiful, believe them!
- Spend some time listening to the kind things said by others. And remember to say thanks each time. It helps to cement the positive thoughts in your mind.
One-Month to Self-Confidence
During the next 30 days, be patient with yourself. Consider each of these tips on a daily basis. Gradually, as with anything else, practicing self-confidence becomes second nature. Take this free 30-day course to help you learn to put yourself on your own priority list, while you’re at it.
In no time, you’ll see the world is in the palm of your hand. And you’ll hear every opportunity calling your name. Aren’t you excited for that time? Start building your confidence now and soon it will be yours forever!
Resources for Narcissistic Abuse Recovery
- The QueenBeeing SPANily, Official – We consider this to be the best narcissistic abuse recovery support group on the web. Offers several subgroups and features a vigilant, compassionate admin team full of trained coaches and survivors, supporting more than 12k members. SPAN is an acronym created by Angie Atkinson that stands for Support for People Affected by Narcissistic abuse in toxic relationships.
- Other Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support Groups – We also have separate groups for each stage in your narcissistic abuse recovery, as well as some for those who have moved past recovery and are evolving into the next stage of their own life. Survivors have unique and individual needs, even when they’ve moved on – so we’re still here for you.
- One-on-One Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Coaching – If you prefer to get more personalized support in your recovery, you might like to schedule a session with one of our coaches to plan and execute your own narcissistic abuse recovery plan.
- Find a Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Therapist – If you’re looking for a therapist for narcissistic abuse recovery, either because you cannot afford coaching and want to use your health insurance or because you have additional issues you need to address that do not fall within the realm of coaching, you will want to find the right therapist for you – and as far as we’re concerned, that therapist must understand what you’ve been through. This page offers assistance to help you do exactly that.
- Where Are You in Recovery? You might not be sure exactly where you fit in and what level of recovery you’ve achieved. If that’s the case, you’ll want to check out this self-assessment to help you determine exactly where you fall in the stages of recovery from narcissistic abuse. Once you finish and submit the assessment, you will be given resources for your own situation, along with recommendations of which groups to join.
- Which Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program is Right for You? If you aren’t sure which program you want to utilize to facilitate your recovery from narcissistic abuse, this self-assessment will help you decide.
- Best Books on Narcissistic Abuse Recovery
Helpful Videos for Narcissistic Abuse Survivors
- When You See the Narcissist After No Contact
- How to Catch a Narcissist in a Lie Every Time (No-Fail Method!)
- 20 Things Narcissists Hate & Don’t Want You to Know They Worry About
- Narcissists Use False Empathy to Fool You (When Narcissists Use False Empathy)
- Can A Narcissist Change For The Better?
- 7 Comments That Instantly Trigger a Narcissist’s Anger
- Why Narcissists Have To Hurt You
- Narcissist’s False Self (How does the narcissist’s false self develop?)
- Narcissists in Old Age (What No One Tells You About Aging Narcissists)
Angela Atkinson is a certified trauma counselor and the author of more than 20 books on narcissism, narcissistic abuse recovery, and related topics. A recognized expert on narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder who has studied and written extensively on narcissistic personality disorder and narcissistic abuse in toxic relationships since 2006, she has a popular narcissistic abuse recovery YouTube channel. Atkinson was inspired to begin her work as a result of having survived toxic relationships of her own.
Atkinson offers trauma-informed narcissistic abuse recovery coaching and has certifications in trauma counseling, life coaching, level 2 therapeutic model, CBT coaching, integrative wellness coaching, and NLP. She is a certified trauma support coach and certified family trauma professional. She also has a professional PTSD counseling certification. Her mission is to help those who have experienced the emotional and mental devastation that comes with narcissistic abuse in these incredibly toxic relationships to (re)discover their true selves, stop the gaslighting and manipulation, and move forward into their genuine desires – into a life that is exactly what they choose for themselves.
Along with her solution-focused life coaching experience, Atkinson’s previous career in journalism and research helps her to offer both accurate and understandable information for survivors of abuse in a simple-to-understand way that helps to increase awareness in the narcissistic abuse recovery community. Atkinson founded QueenBeeing.com Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support, the SPANily Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support Groups and the Life Makeover Academy.
She offers individual and group coaching for victims and survivors of narcissistic abuse here at QueenBeeing.com and at NarcissisticAbuseRecovery.Online.