30-Day Guide to Self-Confidence After Narcissistic Abuse

Written by Angela Atkinson

Believe in Yourself: Boost Your Confidence in Just 30 Days

After you go through narcissistic abuse in a toxic relationship, you might find yourself struggling to find your self-confidence. In fact, if you’re honest with yourself, you might even believe in others more than you believe in yourself. You’re probably the first to encourage a friend to keep going because they have what it takes. But when it comes to encouraging yourself, it’s easy to shy away due to self-doubt.

After all, your ability to love yourself as you are can change your life. And it’s not fair to cheat yourself out of opportunities.  But here’s the thing. Not only can having low self-confidence can cause you to lose out on awesome experiences, but it can also lead you to fall into another toxic relationship with someone who just doesn’t deserve that. So, what can you do to boost your self-confidence and feel more in control of your own life?

How do you boost your self-confidence after narcissistic abuse in a toxic relationship?

Narcissistic abuse recovery offers many opportunities to change your life for the better, and it’s the ideal time to start focusing on yourself and work on boosting your confidence. Even better, it’s surprisingly easy to make it happen, if you do so intentionally.

Follow these steps to boost your confidence and start believing in yourself.

Avoid hesitation.

Self-doubt is often developed out of hesitation. Do you take a long time to act on an impulse? If you see an opportunity, does it take you a while to go after it? The longer you take to pursue something, the more reasons you’ll find for justifying your unsuitability for the opportunity.

  • Avoid “sleeping on it” if you can decide right away. For a self-doubter, delaying a response usually means losing the confidence to go after the opportunity.
  • Do you think you’re not ideal for a new role you’ve been offered at work? Forget about that for a minute. Focus on the fact that you were actually offered the job for a reason!

Challenge negative thinking.

It’s easy to diminish self-confidence by harboring negative thoughts. But before you accept negative thoughts about yourself as a reality, challenge the thinking.

  • Instead of accepting you’re not good enough, take a moment to think about the facts. Have there been instances that support your negative thinking? If the answer is yes, then remind yourself of your many positive experiences as well.
  • Beware of thought patterns that can eat away at your self-esteem. Avoid looking at life as “black or white” and live in the grey area sometimes. You may not have one trait or another, but you could have the perfect combination of what you need for your life!
  • Always be sure to differentiate between feelings and facts. Just because something makes you feel a particular way doesn’t mean there’s any fact in it.

Be kind to yourself.

As someone who rarely displays self-confidence, you probably give yourself a hard time and consider yourself inadequate or ill-equipped. But when was the last time you were actually kind to yourself?

  • Spend some time each day highlighting your positive traits. Remind yourself what makes you beautiful inside and out.

Celebrate small victories!

Celebrate the small successes to help remind yourself that you’re actually more amazing than you give yourself credit for.

  • Try spending some time with positive people. Their energy rubs off quite easily!

Learn to listen to and accept compliments.

Most of the time when people say nice things about you, they mean it! Take the time to really hear what positive things are being said about you. Absorb the thought and believe them!

  • If someone says you’re beautiful, believe them!
  • Spend some time listening to the kind things said by others. And remember to say thanks each time. It helps to cement the positive thoughts in your mind.

One-Month to Self-Confidence

During the next 30 days, be patient with yourself. Consider each of these tips on a daily basis. Gradually, as with anything else, practicing self-confidence becomes second nature. Take this free 30-day course to help you learn to put yourself on your own priority list, while you’re at it. 

In no time, you’ll see the world is in the palm of your hand. And you’ll hear every opportunity calling your name. Aren’t you excited for that time? Start building your confidence now and soon it will be yours forever!

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