*Editor’s Note: Dear SPANily, this list of horrible insults and manipulative phrases was submitted by a fellow narcissistic abuse survivor, Anna, who tells her story in this post. I’m publishing it here because I agree with Anna that it may help one of our fellow survivors recognize their own abuse. Love, Angie

By Anna

I started keeping a list of his abusive phrases months ago, mostly because I needed to see them in writing to believe they were real. I cannot fathom why I’ve allowed him to say these things to me. I am sharing them with you (sorry for some of the language), so you can share them if you like. Maybe they will help another victim to know there is hope and that there are people who understand.

Here is the list. 

1. I am late because of you.
2. I have to take care of you.
3. This is what I have to do everyday-work for you and those f***ing cats
4. Do you know how much you eat?
5. You’re a pig
6. Everything will be ok if you just shut the **** up
7. All women are w****s
8. Do you know how good you got it?
9. Get the **** out of the truck, b***h
10. You’re ****ing stupid
11. You know I love you, right?
12. Don’t touch me
13. Get away from me
14. Here I bought you this
15. Has anyone else ever done this much for you?
16. Women don’t have friends
17. It’s because you’re stupid
18. Fix me something to eat, bitch
19. I am going to bust you in your teeth
20. You are so f***ing stupid
21. That’s how you do
22. Think about it, how good you got it
23. You can’t even take care of yourself
24. If you show up with a black eye, you better tell them everything is ok
25. Why are you so mean to me?
26. I knew you had something going on; you planned this
27. I don’t need you; I don’t care if you are here or not
28. You’re nasty
29. Do you know what you did wrong?
30. I don’t give a ****
31. Do you know how much it cost me?
32. Get your s**t and get out; never come back to this house!
33. I will pay for it, and then I will own me
34. See what you did to me?
35. I cannot be happy because I am with you
36. It’s about time to beat your a**
37. You are almost well enough to be hit
38. I have to deal with everything
39. Do you understand me?
40. Is there anything else?
41. I am going to break this phone.

Get help with narcissistic abuse recovery right now.

• The QueenBeeing SPANily, Official – We consider this the best narcissistic abuse recovery support group on the web. It offers several subgroups and features a vigilant, compassionate admin team full of trained coaches and survivors, supporting more than 12k members. SPAN is an acronym created by Angie Atkinson that stands for Support for People Affected by Narcissistic abuse in toxic relationships.
• Other Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support Groups – We also have separate groups for each stage in your narcissistic abuse recovery and some for those who have moved past recovery and are evolving into the next stage of their own life. Survivors have unique and individual needs, even when they’ve moved on – so we’re still here for you.
• One-on-One Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Coaching – If you prefer to get more personalized support in your recovery, you might like to schedule a session with one of our coaches to plan and execute your own narcissistic abuse recovery plan.
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• Where Are You in Recovery? You might not be sure exactly where you fit in and what level of recovery you’ve achieved. If that’s the case, you’ll want to check out this self-assessment to help you determine exactly where you fall in the stages of recovery from narcissistic abuse. Once you finish and submit the assessment, you will be given resources for your own situation, along with recommendations of which groups to join.
• Which Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program is Right for You? If you aren’t sure which program you want to utilize to facilitate your recovery from narcissistic abuse, this self-assessment will help you decide.