As a survivor of narcissistic abuse, there are a few things you may not want to hear. But it’s okay – you know how I roll! I’m all about tough love when we need it – and the truth here is that you’ll be better for knowing them once you dry your eyes. Failing to understand these truths makes life confusing and dissatisfying. Seek the truth and it will set you free.
Understand these truths and increase your understanding of life:
- Most people only care about what’s in it for them. The majority of the world doesn’t care if you’re nice to puppies and remember your spouse’s birthday. Do you know society is composed of? It’s a bunch of people that need things. They need money, food, clothing, self-confidence, comfort, entertainment, and personal satisfaction.
- If you can’t provide any of the many needs that society wants to have fulfilled, you’re not going to get the respect and recognition you desire.
- It’s important to develop skills, products, or services that satisfy the needs of society. Otherwise, you’ll find yourself being ignored.
- The universe isn’t for or against you. Many people are under the illusion that the universe is either on their side or working against them. The earth is but a speck of dust among billions of other specks.
- You’re one organism among several millions of species of organisms. It’s estimated there are over 20 million species of microorganisms that live in water. There are 50 birds for every person on the planet.
- The universe is neither on your side nor against you. That can be good or bad news, depending on your perspective. You’re responsible for your results.
- Your friends and family won’t always be there for you. You’d better be able to cook, clean, make money, brush your teeth, and pay your bills on time. Your friends and family won’t always be available to bail you out when you need something. You might have to find your own way to the airport someday.
- You can’t control or change others. This may be the hardest lesson to learn, especially where romantic relationships are concerned. You find someone that comes close to what you’re looking for, except for a few rough areas. You’re certain you can turn them into something you can live with. In most cases, you’d be wrong.
- People naturally resist being controlled or changed. Think about how hard it is to change yourself even when you want to change. You want to eat better, lose weight, hit the gym every day, and save more money. But 99% of the time you can’t make those changes.
- Now, imagine how hard it would be to change someone that doesn’t want to change. Then add on the fact that they’re resentful and resisting your efforts. You have no chance.
- Accept people for what they are. Either change your expectations or expect to be disappointed.
- Failure is normal. Failure is par for the course. Expect to experience several failures before attaining results that please you. The only way to avoid failure is to never try. Never trying is the perfect strategy to ensure that you never experience success.
- Learn to deal with failure effectively. It’s nothing more than an undesirable result and there’s no reason to take it personally. Adjust your approach and try again.
Do you know the truth about the world? You’re on your own more than you realize. Fortunately, that puts you in the driver’s seat.
Angela Atkinson is a Certified Life Coach and the author of more than 20 books on narcissism, narcissistic abuse recovery and related topics. A recognized expert on narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder who has studied and written extensively on narcissistic relationships since 2006, Atkinson was inspired to begin her work as a result of having survived toxic relationships of her own.
Atkinson offers trauma-informed coaching and has certifications in life coaching, level 2 therapeutic model, CBT coaching, integrative wellness coaching, and NLP. She is a certified trauma support coach and certified family trauma professional. She also has a professional PTSD counseling certification. Her mission is to help those who have experienced the emotional and mental devastation that comes with narcissistic abuse in these incredibly toxic relationships to (re)discover their true selves, stop the gaslighting and manipulation and move forward into their genuine desires – into a life that is exactly what they choose for themselves.
Along with her solution-focused life coaching experience, Atkinson’s previous career in journalism and research helps her to offer both accurate and understandable information for survivors of abuse in a simple-to-understand way that helps to increase awareness in the narcissistic abuse recovery community. Atkinson founded QueenBeeing.com Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support, the SPANily Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support Groups and the Life Makeover Academy. In her life coaching practice, Atkinson’s clients enjoy her personalized approach that allows and encourages them to become the best possible versions of themselves and to succeed in doing what they love most. She offers individual and group coaching for victims and survivors of narcissistic abuse at NarcissisticAbuseRecovery.Online and NarcissismSupportCoach.com.