So, you’re having one of those “someone peed in your Cheerios” kind of days, huh? Think you’re wasting your time trying to find out how to have a better day?
You KNOW for sure that having a bad attitude isn’t serving you, that it is likely to breed more negativity in your day, but at this point, you don’t see how it’s going to get any better. You’re ready to throw in the towel and try again tomorrow.
But You Can Have a Better Day, Right Now!
I’m here to tell you that you can do some pretty simple things to change your perspective, this moment. You really can have a better day, I promise. Stick with me here.
As you probably know, a simple change in perspective is all it takes to begin to make things go your way. You can literally change your life by just changing your mind.
But when you’re having those rough days, what can you do to quickly change your vibe and improve your outlook?
I know how all too well how difficult it can be to get over whatever it is that’s got you down, but I also have a few tricks up my sleeve that can make it a whole lot easier.
How to Have a Better Day, Right Now
Listen, I know how it is. Life feels hard sometimes–you get busy, you take care of your family, your home, your job, your life. And you forget to take care of yourself.
You think, “oh, that’s just the way it goes.”
You reason that it’s your responsibility, your burden to bear–you might even think it makes you a better person to put your own wants and needs on the back burner in favor of someone else’s.
But here’s the deal–if you don’t take care of yourself first, you’re not going to be as awesome as you might otherwise be.
Not only that, but you’re going to be a shadow of the person you really want to be, and you won’t be nearly as effective in any capacity as someone who does put herself at the top of her priority list. Seriously. So put yourself at the top of your list, pronto. You won’t regret it.
Or that they are beautiful, or cool, or smart or just plain spec-freaking-tacular.
Just give someone in your life a little boost by saying something nice to them. A compliment is a two-way street–you give one, and you not only make someone else feel good, but you get to feel good too. Win-win, I say.
Remember: what you put out into the world is what comes back to you. And who isn’t a sucker for a good compliment?
And you just might get everything you want. Some people think they have to suffer to meet their goals.
They think that they can’t enjoy the process, and that they will never have true happiness until they reach what they have identified as the ultimate success.
We’ve all done this. We might say, “I’ll wear that beautiful dress when I lose 15 pounds,” or “I’ll finally be able to have fun when I finish writing my book,” or “I won’t be happy until I get that promotion.”
Here’s the secret: it doesn’t have to suck.
You really can be happy and continue to work toward your goals. It’s all about putting it out there–being clear on what you want, and then taking what I like to call inspired action to make it happen. And it’s easier than you think. You can start by just KNOWING that you CAN and WILL succeed in manifesting your desires.
It’s human nature to judge other people, but try NOT doing it, just for today. When you see that woman at the grocery store with a snot-nosed, dirty kid, try to imagine what her situation might be.
You don’t really know why that kid’s nose is running or why he’s dirty. Maybe they are homeless, or maybe they couldn’t afford to pay their water bill.
Or maybe they just came from a very messy playdate and stopped at the grocery store to pick up some antihistamine for the kid’s runny nose. You don’t know, so don’t judge. Instead, smile at her and have a little compassion.
The thing is, when you’ve got compassion for others, they’re more likely to have it for you.
And when you stop judging the people around you in a negative way, you’re also bringing more positivity (and less negativity) into your own life. It works, I promise.
Even if you never tell them. We’ve all been hurt in our lives, whether physically or emotionally, by someone we thought cared about us. Sometimes, the feelings and resentments that go along with painful situations can begin to fester and cause you to lose your lust for life, to say the least.
If you can forgive someone who hurt you (note: I did not say forget–some people are genuinely dangerous and you should steer clear of them if that’s the case), you can begin to heal within yourself.
Your outlook will almost instantly improve–it’ll be like a weight has been lifted from your shoulders.
And, honestly, you might feel like someone who hurt you doesn’t deserve to be forgiven for what they did–and you’d be right in some cases.
But that doesn’t mean that you can’t forgive them within yourself and release the pain. And it doesn’t mean that you have to offer your forgiveness to the person who hurt you–just know within yourself that you’ve done it.
So what about you? How do you change your perspective when you’re having a bad day? Tell me in the comments!
Angela Atkinson is a Certified Life Coach and the author of more than 20 books on narcissism, narcissistic abuse recovery and related topics. A recognized expert on narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder who has studied and written extensively on narcissistic relationships since 2006, Atkinson was inspired to begin her work as a result of having survived toxic relationships of her own.
Atkinson offers trauma-informed coaching and has certifications in life coaching, level 2 therapeutic model, CBT coaching, integrative wellness coaching, and NLP. She is a certified trauma support coach and certified family trauma professional. She also has a professional PTSD counseling certification. Her mission is to help those who have experienced the emotional and mental devastation that comes with narcissistic abuse in these incredibly toxic relationships to (re)discover their true selves, stop the gaslighting and manipulation and move forward into their genuine desires – into a life that is exactly what they choose for themselves.
Along with her solution-focused life coaching experience, Atkinson’s previous career in journalism and research helps her to offer both accurate and understandable information for survivors of abuse in a simple-to-understand way that helps to increase awareness in the narcissistic abuse recovery community. Atkinson founded QueenBeeing.com Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support, the SPANily Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support Groups and the Life Makeover Academy. In her life coaching practice, Atkinson’s clients enjoy her personalized approach that allows and encourages them to become the best possible versions of themselves and to succeed in doing what they love most. She offers individual and group coaching for victims and survivors of narcissistic abuse at NarcissisticAbuseRecovery.Online and NarcissismSupportCoach.com.