I used to weigh more than 100 pounds more than I do today. When you’re as overweight as I used to be, people don’t always look you in the eyes. They make assumptions about you that probably aren’t true, including that you’re lazy and unintelligent.
People who haven’t struggled to get or stay slim don’t understand how it feels, but they are always congratulatory when they find out I’ve lost that much weight, which is nice.
Yeah, life’s definitely different than it used to be.
People are nicer.
Like I said, overweight often equals overlooked. Since I’ve lost the weight, I notice that people people in general are nicer to me. They’re more likely to offer me a hand or to smile at me in the aisle at the grocery store. I’m even more likely to get special discounts and other little goodies the world offers to petite blonde women. Imagine.
Truth? It makes me a little mad. But whatever.
Men are more aggressive.
Not that I’m complaining, mind you, but since I’ve lost the weight, not only do I get hit on more often, but the men (and a few women) have been a LOT more aggressive with their flirtation and attempts to gain my attention. This is mostly flattering but had been annoying/offensive and otherwise displeasing on a few occasions.
My feet are smaller.
I’d always been a size 7w in shoes, but after my second child was born, I found myself in a size 8w. I told myself it was related to the pregnancy, but interestingly, after I lost the weight, my feet quickly returned to their original size. (Score! An excuse to go shoe shopping!)
I can feel my bones.
Not like I’m super skinny, but for years, I didn’t even know I had hip bones. Now, I can feel them. A weird thing to note (if you’ve never been overweight!)
I’m not perfect.
A lot of us think crazy stuff like, “if I could just lose 100 pounds, I’d be almost perfect! My weight is the bane of my existence!”
Truth? You’re going to be just as messed up when you’re done losing the weight–on the inside. So, in my case, I’m still evolving, and my guess is that I’m not alone. So I’m OK with not being perfect. Instead I work on being a perfect (read: best possible) version of myself in any given moment.
Sitting is better. So is standing. And everything else.
Not only can I pretzel myself into nearly any position, but I can sit comfortably almost anywhere–including on my husband’s lap. And I can do just about anything I want with my body–I dig that. A lot.
I love my husband more, because I know he loves me for REAL.
See, when married me, I was 100 pounds heavier than I am now. And he still loved me and wanted to be with me.
No one else in the world can ever take his place, because I know for sure he loved me through some of the most unattractive years of my life. That is a beautiful trait to find in a man, no?
Listen, there are some really great designers out there who make out plus sized sisters look amazing. Unfortunately for me, being only 5′ tall was working against me.
Some women can totally rock the plus size look, but for me? I wasn’t pulling it off. So after losing the weight, my ability to wear and buy what I want has made life way more fun. And since I can now wear the day, s and m sizes depending on the outfit, I can get some really great deals on the clearance racks. ( Around here, there are always leftovers in the little sizes).
I also shop the juniors section for some stuff. It’s cheaper and for trendy items, works well with some pieces.
I still have to watch what I eat and pay attention to my body.
It’s not a freaking cakewalk, people. IF you have been overweight, then you may once again go there if you’re not careful. It’s a matter of monitoring yourself closely and of CHANGING YOUR HABITS. That means it can’t just be a “temp” fix–you’ve got to be in this thing for the long haul. So go ahead and have a little chocolate if you need it–but don’t be crazy about it! Keep your serving size reasonable and make up the calories elsewhere.
Angela Atkinson is a certified trauma counselor and the author of more than 20 books on narcissism, narcissistic abuse recovery, and related topics. A recognized expert on narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder who has studied and written extensively on narcissistic personality disorder and narcissistic abuse in toxic relationships since 2006, she has a popular narcissistic abuse recovery YouTube channel. Atkinson was inspired to begin her work as a result of having survived toxic relationships of her own.
Atkinson offers trauma-informed narcissistic abuse recovery coaching and has certifications in trauma counseling, life coaching, level 2 therapeutic model, CBT coaching, integrative wellness coaching, and NLP. She is a certified trauma support coach and certified family trauma professional. She also has a professional PTSD counseling certification. Her mission is to help those who have experienced the emotional and mental devastation that comes with narcissistic abuse in these incredibly toxic relationships to (re)discover their true selves, stop the gaslighting and manipulation, and move forward into their genuine desires – into a life that is exactly what they choose for themselves.
Along with her solution-focused life coaching experience, Atkinson’s previous career in journalism and research helps her to offer both accurate and understandable information for survivors of abuse in a simple-to-understand way that helps to increase awareness in the narcissistic abuse recovery community. Atkinson founded QueenBeeing.com Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support, the SPANily Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support Groups and the Life Makeover Academy.
She offers individual and group coaching for victims and survivors of narcissistic abuse at NarcissisticAbuseRecovery.Online.