Am I Codependent? The 5 Signs That Point To That Strong Possibility

Written by Miriam Slozberg

When you think of the term codependency, you may think about someone who is relying on substance abuse. But that isn’t always the case.

What is Codependency?

Codependency is a toxic emotional and behavioral condition that makes it nearly impossible to have a healthy, mutually satisfying relationship. It is also known as “relationship addiction” because people with codependency often form and stay in relationships that are one-sided, emotionally destructive and/or abusive.

In layman’s terms, codependency is being too dependent on others to the point that they cannot function on their own. It happens often in relationships whereas two people are too invested in one another to the point that the one who is too dependent on the other struggles to be independent.

So, if you have a codependent personality, you are highly likely to end up with someone who is dominant for that obvious reason. You’ll struggle to think and do things on your own without your partner.

How to Know If You’re Codependent in a Toxic Relationship

Are you codependent? Let’s look at the 5 signs that point to that possibility.

1. You Don’t Trust Yourself

The fact of the matter is that if you are codependent, you struggle with trusting yourself. You don’t think you can make decisions without someone else backing you up. This is a sign that you have low self-esteem and confidence if you don’t believe in yourself and the actions you take to the point that you have to rely on others to do if for you.

This video offers tips on how to trust yourself again after narcissistic abuse.

2. You Need The Approval Of Others More Than Valuing Yourself

It would be devasting to you if you did a creative project and worked very hard on it, and yet you did not get the approval from others that you wanted. It is normal to want to have others acknowledge your work, but someone who is not codependent will realize that everyone’s taste will not match their style and the approval of others has no effect on what they do. That is just a common example of codependency. If you don’t value yourself but you do things for the sake of gaining the approval of others, then that is problematic. Stop being a people-pleaser and try focusing on what really makes YOU happy!

This video will help you learn how to stop being a people pleaser.

3. You Can’t Identify Your Feelings

If you are not sure how you are feeling whether you are sad, happy, excited, or bored, that can be a sign of codependency. In other words, your feelings are based on the way that your partner feels. If they are angry, you may be as well, but you will not know why and you will not be able to identify why.

Watch this video to learn how to be more self-aware.

4. You Fear Abandonment

You are terrified of being abandoned because you don’t believe you will be able to function on your own. The idea of being abandoned is no different than a part of your body disappearing which can render you not being able to function at all.

This video will teach you more about the fear of abandonment in narcissistic abuse recovery.

5. You Stay In Unhealthy Relationships

You may be in an abusive relationship but you will not think of leaving because you feel like you have to be with that partner, no matter how abusive they are. You cannot fathom the idea of being alone, and you doubt your ability to function alone.

You deserve better. Watch this video to learn how to let go and move on with your life.

You can see how being codependent is a serious problem but fortunately, there is help out there that can help you reclaim your power again.

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