Thoughts on this post? Share them with me on Facebook, join the SPANily or Tweet me at @angieatkinson. ~Angie

Today, I’m answering a question from YouTuber iwish itwassnowing, who said:

“Hi Angie, thanks for your work.

However, l couldn’t help noticing the following things that seem contradictory to what you have been saying in your videos so far, at least among those l’ve watched.

1.The suggestion to use emphatic validation ( it shows on the slide at 15:57). From my experience, it doesn’t work. “Putting it nicely” doesn’t work. Even if we were to speak solely from a theoretical point of view, since they’re out to get supply, anything you say is going to be used against you, no matter how you phrase it.

2. Isn’t “healthy narcissist” (it shows on the slide at 16:35) an oxymoron?”

In the Go Ask Angie series, I respond “off the cuff” to questions, comments and concerns sent to me by my YouTube viewers, readers from my site and those who reach out in other ways, such as by email.

Learn more at Get my books at and pick up your free 5-day fear-busting email course (especially designed for narcissistic abuse survivors) at

This answer is in response to this video:

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