How do I deal with people who think they’re better than me?

Written by Angela Atkinson

By Angela Atkinson

Dear Angela,

I don’t know how to deal with people who think they’re better than me.

You know the kind I mean? They are the ones who brag about every little thing, and really, none of it is impressive to me.

I might be impressed if I thought they had better intentions, but I really think they are just insecure.

Why do I feel like they are trying to make me jealous or belittle me?

How should I handle those types of people? What if you have to deal with them on an everyday basis?



Dear Anonymous,

I think you hit the nail on the head. People who act that way are doing it because they feel insecure about themselves in some way.

Many insecure people believe somewhere inside themselves that they need to put other people down in order to feel better about themselves.

Sadly, this is often directed at people of whom the insecure person is jealous for some reason.

It could be that you’re more comfortable in your skin than they are, that you have a more successful career, happier relationships or just that you have something they want–a family, friends, a nice home or car–the list goes on and on.

One way that I make insecure people comfortable around me is to give compliments liberally. Anytime you can offer a little boost to someone’s self esteem, it helps.

You can compliment on a person’s physical appearance, clothing or accessories, home, car, family, personality–nearly anything will do, and you might be surprised at how often (and how well)  it actually works.

Still, some people won’t be satisfied. They are constantly creating negativity in their own lives, and they seem driven to spread it to others.

Handling negativity from the people in your life can be tough, in whatever form it takes, and most especially from those you love. Still, you can do it (and stay positive) by protecting yourself emotionally.

First, don’t allow anyone to make you feel bad about yourself. Whether the person is underestimating you or just being plain rude, you get to decide how you feel about the situation.

So, stop caring what negative people think. You have the right and the ability to do just that–check out this post for more details on how you can do it (without looking like a huge jerk, even.)

Finally, remember that it’s not your problem. The problem lies within the insecure person who is trying to bring you down–so remember that you are good enough, and never let that feeling waver, no matter what (or who) life brings your way.



What advice would you offer this reader? Tell me in the comments!


  • Angela Atkinson

    Angela Atkinson is a certified trauma counselor and the author of more than 20 books on narcissism, narcissistic abuse recovery, and related topics. A recognized expert on narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder who has studied and written extensively on narcissistic personality disorder and narcissistic abuse in toxic relationships since 2006, she has a popular narcissistic abuse recovery YouTube channel. Atkinson was inspired to begin her work as a result of having survived toxic relationships of her own. Atkinson offers trauma-informed narcissistic abuse recovery coaching and has certifications in trauma counseling, life coaching, level 2 therapeutic model, CBT coaching, integrative wellness coaching, and NLP. She is a certified trauma support coach and certified family trauma professional. She also has a professional PTSD counseling certification. Her mission is to help those who have experienced the emotional and mental devastation that comes with narcissistic abuse in these incredibly toxic relationships to (re)discover their true selves, stop the gaslighting and manipulation, and move forward into their genuine desires – into a life that is exactly what they choose for themselves. Along with her solution-focused life coaching experience, Atkinson’s previous career in journalism and research helps her to offer both accurate and understandable information for survivors of abuse in a simple-to-understand way that helps to increase awareness in the narcissistic abuse recovery community. Atkinson founded Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support, the SPANily Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support Groups and the Life Makeover Academy. She offers individual and group coaching for victims and survivors of narcissistic abuse here at and at NarcissisticAbuseRecovery.Online.

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