Why Narcissists Are Likely The Ones Contributing To The Spread Of COVID-19

Why Narcissists Are Likely The Ones Contributing To The Spread Of COVID-19

You know how that since the beginning of this year, March specifically, almost every country in the world has been battling the COVID-19 pandemic? This is why lockdowns were implemented to help slow the spread of the virus and the only things open were places for essentials such as grocery stores and pharmacies.

But now that non-essential businesses are beginning to reopen, the virus has been spreading like wildfire. And, despite what some people think, the non-essential businesses opening up are not to blame for the resurgence. In fact, people are told to stay home as much as possible and to only go out sparingly. And if they do go out, most states require people to wear a mask and/or to stay 6 feet apart from others.

However, a lot of people just ignore these rules. And if we’re being honest, the reason the virus is spreading is likely due to the fact that so many people are ignoring these important guidelines and are acting as if everything has gone back to normal. They ignore the fact that a pandemic is still going on, and many people would say that those who are behaving this way are conspiracy theorists. That is because a lot of people think the virus is a hoax. It is likely due to some of that. However, a large number of those engaging in this behavior are narcissists.

Why Narcissists Are Contributing to the Spread of the Coronavirus

These narcissists know very well that the virus is spreading, but as usual, they feel that the rules just don’t apply to them. That’s why narcissists are inevitably among those who insist on going to bars, going to packed beaches, and not wearing masks and not social distancing. If they know the virus is real, then why do they engage in this behavior? Let’s look at some reasons.

1. They Lack Empathy, Especially Towards Those That Are Vulnerable

Empathetic people know that they can easily become asymptomatic carriers and pass it onto someone who is vulnerable such as a grandparent, someone who is immunocompromised, or a pregnant woman. This is why they stay home as much as they can and if they must go out, they wear masks when they go to public places. However, the narcissist lacks empathy, and as a result, caring for others is just not a concern for them.

Worse, narcissists view those who are vulnerable as burdens to society anyway. Their attitude is if they get sick from the virus, it just means there are fewer burdens in the end. Even if that means their own grandparents end up catching the virus and succumbing to it.

2. The Rules Simply Don’t Apply To Them

Narcissists know the rules, but they don’t care. They ignore social distancing guidelines. They will not wear masks even if they are told they must in certain places. They believe they are above it all. They scream about how these rules were created just to strip away their freedom. The bottom line is that narcissists do what they want and please.

3. They Can’t Face Their Own Demons

When the lockdown was going on and you were in quarantine, you knew that spending time alone meant having to face your shadow self. That is uncomfortable for anyone to do. But narcissists avoid it at all costs. They cannot face their demons and they do not self-reflect. If narcissists were unable to go out, they would have likely given into addictions or abused those who were locked down with them.

The one thing that COVID-19 has done has shown the true colors of everyone it has affected in any way. And sadly, this pandemic has also shown the true colors of narcissists, more than ever.

4 Things That Happen When You Ignore A Narcissist

4 Things That Happen When You Ignore A Narcissist

What happens when you ignore a narcissist? In the narcissistic abuse recovery community, we often suggest that survivors go no contact and essentially ignore the narcissists in their lives in order to begin to heal.

But what should you expect when you try to ignore a narcissist?

We all know how desperately a narcissist wants to have all of the attention of anyone who might be willing to dole it out. And who of us doesn’t realize that they demand attention from us – their sources of narcissistic supply. They expect you to make it clear that THEY are the most important person in any room.

Watch this video to discover five possible outcomes of ignoring a narcissist.

The Truth About Ignoring a Narcissist

Narcissists and other toxic people are often psychologically and emotionally abusive as well. This is mostly because they could not care less about hurting your feelings – or anyone else’s for that matter. They have seriously impaired empathy – and when you get to the sociopathic end of the cluster B spectrum, they have no empathy whatsoever. Narcissists will do everything to control you, gaslight you, and abuse you as long as it serves them in the end. Your suffering to them does not matter at all.

But one thing you can do to get the narcissist back for their abusive behavior is to ignore them. You may think that ignoring them doesn’t sound like it would really make a difference in how they control you. But it does.

4 Things That Happen When You Ignore A Narcissist

Let’s now talk about four things that happen when you ignore a narcissist.

1. The Narcissist Gets Scared

The narcissist will be afraid that something is quite wrong if you are ignoring them. Suddenly you are not giving them the attention that they crave and need. They may begin to start hovering over you even more by sending texts such as I’m sorry, or Can we talk? Just keep ignoring them anyway.

Watch this video to better understand the narcissist’s fears and why they are so worried about these issues.

2. The Narcissist Will Begin To Gaslight You Again

Narcissists cannot stand the idea being ignored, so they will do anything they can to get your attention. This means that one of their favorite kinds of manipulation will pop out again – gaslighting. Gaslighting is a pervasive and highly-effective tactic meant to manipulate you. The narcissist will use psychological means to sort of push you into questioning your own sanity. This could be as simple as the narcissist sending messages about the fun times that you had with them (leaving out that whole “psychological abuse” part, of course). They will make up stories about the lovely romantic dinners you had with them which never happened (or which were ruined by the narcissist, as usual). They may even go to the extreme by saying how memorable the trip to a certain country or city was with you and how you cannot just throw those memories away – even though this trip never happened or was toxic due to the narcissist’s bad behavior. Just keep ignoring them.

Watch this video to understand more about gaslighting and to learn how to overcome it.

3. The Narcissist Will Become Angry (Be Cautious When This Happens)

You keep ignoring the narcissist, and the emotions they feel go from fear and worry to fury and rage. We call this narcissistic rage. Narcissistic rage is often coupled with narcissistic injury. Narcissists employ the narcissistic rage tactic when they know they’re wrong but won’t admit it, or when they don’t get what they want, or when people don’t treat them different or more special than others, or when their sense of entitlement is threatened – anytime things don’t go their way. This is when narcissists get inconsolably angry in an attempt to bully or coerce you into giving them what they want.  They will begin to stalk your social media profiles, and they can even create a smear campaign against you. Narcissists can become quite vengeful at this point. Be very careful and if they begin to harass you, or invite others to harass you and to ruin your reputation, get the authorities involved. This is a painful and scary step because you will be afraid of your safety once the narcissist becomes enraged. Eventually, they will give up. Going no contact at this point is the best thing to do. Block them and disappear from them.

Watch this video to better understand narcissistic rage and narcissistic injury and how to deal with both.

4. They Give Up And Find A New Victim

This is the part that you know logically you want – but you also secretly fear (at least in the beginning). It is when the narcissist goes on and finds a new source of narcissistic supply. A narcissistic supply is usually a person, but can also be a pet or group of people. Narcissists use the narcissistic supply for attention, validation, admiration – all the “supply” they need to feed their ego. The narcissist often has a circle of supply or “narcissistic harem.” You have ignored the narcissist and got them out of your life. They may have even accepted that you are not accessible to them anymore. This hurts their ego a lot, but they will not change or have learned anything. They will forget about you and find a new victim. You can only hope that any future victims that the narcissist finds will be able to ignore them again, and again. (Despite your urges, there’s really no ethical obligation or point in actually telling the new supply what they’re in for, so be careful.)

There are a LOT of questions people ask us about the narcissist and their new supply – all of the answers are included in this playlist.

Ignoring a narcissist is the best punishment you can give them. It will be difficult when they are infuriated by this, but it will set you free in the end.

Am I Codependent? The 5 Signs That Point To That Strong Possibility

Am I Codependent? The 5 Signs That Point To That Strong Possibility

When you think of the term codependency, you may think about someone who is relying on substance abuse. But that isn’t always the case.

What is Codependency?

Codependency is a toxic emotional and behavioral condition that makes it nearly impossible to have a healthy, mutually satisfying relationship. It is also known as “relationship addiction” because people with codependency often form and stay in relationships that are one-sided, emotionally destructive and/or abusive.

In layman’s terms, codependency is being too dependent on others to the point that they cannot function on their own. It happens often in relationships whereas two people are too invested in one another to the point that the one who is too dependent on the other struggles to be independent.

So, if you have a codependent personality, you are highly likely to end up with someone who is dominant for that obvious reason. You’ll struggle to think and do things on your own without your partner.

How to Know If You’re Codependent in a Toxic Relationship

Are you codependent? Let’s look at the 5 signs that point to that possibility.

1. You Don’t Trust Yourself

The fact of the matter is that if you are codependent, you struggle with trusting yourself. You don’t think you can make decisions without someone else backing you up. This is a sign that you have low self-esteem and confidence if you don’t believe in yourself and the actions you take to the point that you have to rely on others to do if for you.

This video offers tips on how to trust yourself again after narcissistic abuse.

2. You Need The Approval Of Others More Than Valuing Yourself

It would be devasting to you if you did a creative project and worked very hard on it, and yet you did not get the approval from others that you wanted. It is normal to want to have others acknowledge your work, but someone who is not codependent will realize that everyone’s taste will not match their style and the approval of others has no effect on what they do. That is just a common example of codependency. If you don’t value yourself but you do things for the sake of gaining the approval of others, then that is problematic. Stop being a people-pleaser and try focusing on what really makes YOU happy!

This video will help you learn how to stop being a people pleaser.

3. You Can’t Identify Your Feelings

If you are not sure how you are feeling whether you are sad, happy, excited, or bored, that can be a sign of codependency. In other words, your feelings are based on the way that your partner feels. If they are angry, you may be as well, but you will not know why and you will not be able to identify why.

Watch this video to learn how to be more self-aware.

4. You Fear Abandonment

You are terrified of being abandoned because you don’t believe you will be able to function on your own. The idea of being abandoned is no different than a part of your body disappearing which can render you not being able to function at all.

This video will teach you more about the fear of abandonment in narcissistic abuse recovery.

5. You Stay In Unhealthy Relationships

You may be in an abusive relationship but you will not think of leaving because you feel like you have to be with that partner, no matter how abusive they are. You cannot fathom the idea of being alone, and you doubt your ability to function alone.

You deserve better. Watch this video to learn how to let go and move on with your life.

You can see how being codependent is a serious problem but fortunately, there is help out there that can help you reclaim your power again.

There Are Two Pandemics Happening: Coronavirus And The Rise Of Mental Illness

There Are Two Pandemics Happening: Coronavirus And The Rise Of Mental Illness

You’re aware of the risks when it comes to not social distancing right now, as well as not wearing masks and gloves when you are out. Maybe you’re young and healthy, but you’re still trying to be extra careful with not putting yourself at risk for catching the virus. You may be not so much concerned about yourself. But you may be worried about passing the virus onto those who are physically vulnerable such as the elderly and those who have weak immune systems.

The goal is to protect yourself as well as your community. That’s understandable.

However, there is one major problem that is not getting enough attention. That is this pandemic has also increased the mental health risks such as increased depression and anxiety. That is not the worst part of it. Those who have mental illnesses who are trying to not regress into a hole are often judged if they go out to a hardware store to get ‘non-essential’ items. Their thinking is why bother putting the community at risk while going out to get an item that is ‘non-essential’.

You may see a man head over to the hardware store who is buying plenty of cans of paint. You may be thinking ‘how can he be selfish and put those at risk by going out to get items that he does not really need’. But here is the thing. Maybe for him, the cans of paint are essential. Maybe those cans of paint are helping him cope with his depression. Maybe he needs to so some home improvement during the time of quarantine for the sake of his mental health.

The same goes for the woman who is buying seeds and soil, as you may think that she is being selfish for risking others by purchasing a non-essential item. But what if she is an alcoholic who is doing her best to stay sober during this stressful time? Maybe buying seeds and soil to watch something grow is the very thing she needs to do in order to keep her sober.

The point is you cannot judge those who are leaving their homes to buy non-essential items. Sure, there is also a curbside pickup option. But that is not quite the point. You may be so focused on staying home unless you absolutely need to go out to get essential for the purpose of protecting those who are physically vulnerable. But don’t forget people are struggling with their mental health right now. There are more suicides, addiction relapses, and at the very least people who were doing well with their mental health have been regressing. Let’s not forget the wellbeing of those who are struggling as well.

Coronavirus is not the only epidemic going on right now. Mental illness is as well and this means you have to consider the needs of those who may not be physically vulnerable but are vulnerable due to the fact that they are struggling with mental illness right now.

5 Simple Self-Care Tips That Survivors of Narcissistic Abuse Forget

5 Simple Self-Care Tips That Survivors of Narcissistic Abuse Forget

“I have come to believe that caring for myself is not self-indulgent. Caring for myself is an act of survival.”  ~Audre Lorde

After breaking away from a toxic relationship with an abusive narcissist, you may find that you have forgotten how to treat yourself the way you deserve to be treated. You may not know how to nurture yourself properly, because you have not been nurtured. And because you’ve spent so much time focused on someone else’s needs while ignoring your own. Fortunately, there are simple ways to take care of yourself that can have some excellent healing effects on you.

5 Self-Care Tips for Narcissistic Abuse Survivors

Let’s look at 5 easy self-care tips that many survivors of narcissistic abuse tend to overlook or forget completely.

1. Journaling Is Helpful

After dealing with the extreme amount of stress and hardship in a toxic relationship, a lot of damage has been done. You’ve been traumatized and you need to heal. Journaling can be exactly what you need.  In your journal, you can literally express any emotion and thought you have. You don’t have to censor anything because it is private, it is yours. And it will help you release the tension inside. Doing this daily will be very helpful. In this video, narcissistic abuse recovery experts Angie Atkinson and Kim Saeed discuss how journaling helped them in their own recoveries from narcissistic abuse.

Angie Atkinson also finds that using a Bullet Journal is especially helpful for survivors of narcissistic abuse who deal with C-PTSD and/or adult ADHD. It can serve as both a traditional journal and a planner/life organizer at the same time. Angie finds that it works well for creative minds that have a tendency to be unconventional in their organizational styles. Here is a video where she discusses why she loves bullet journaling.

2. Saying ‘No’

You may have been conditioned to do things for others at your own inconvenience while being in a non-nurturing relationship. However, when you reclaim your power by saying ‘no’ and sticking to it, you will feel much better. Only do favors for others if you feel you will get something out of it and if you are not inconvenienced in any way. You don’t need to be a people-pleaser anymore, as you’ll learn in this video.

3. Prioritize Tasks

If you feel like you have too much to do, then the best thing to do is to prioritize tasks. What do you need to do? And don’t do too much at once either. In fact, if there are things you can delegate to others, then you will want to be sure to do that. This means if you are not going to be able to do something such as grocery shopping, then you can always order groceries online. It also means putting yourself on your own priority list! Yes, self-care is incredibly important during narcissistic abuse recovery – and so often overlooked. In this video, find out why self-care is such a big deal for survivors of narcissistic abuse.

4. Read Something Relaxing Or Intriguing

Reading is really good for your mind, as it is stimulating and relaxing at the same time. You will want to read books that are in the genre you are interested in. And you may want to read about something that you know very little about so you have the opportunity to learn something new. But the best thing to do is to take a nice bubble bath and to take your favorite book, and enjoy some self-pampering. Nighttime reading is great, as long as you are not reading something that is too stimulating before bed. There are also tons of amazing books for survivors of narcissistic abuse Not a reader? That’s okay. Figure out what your passion is and take it to the next level! This video teaches you how to find passion and purpose in your own life.

5. Do Nothing

If you don’t feel like doing anything at a particular time, there is nothing wrong with just sitting there and doing nothing. Don’t berate yourself for not being productive at that given moment. Perhaps you need to just sit there and literally do nothing. This could be a reset for you so you have the energy to be productive. Sit there, listen to music, and just allow your body to reset itself. Here is a video that will teach you how to calm down quickly.

These overlooked self-care tips are a lot more helpful than you would think but why not utilize them and heal at the same time! Stay healthy.

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