You know how that since the beginning of this year, March specifically, almost every country in the world has been battling the COVID-19 pandemic? This is why lockdowns were implemented to help slow the spread of the virus and the only things open were places for essentials such as grocery stores and pharmacies.
But now that non-essential businesses are beginning to reopen, the virus has been spreading like wildfire. And, despite what some people think, the non-essential businesses opening up are not to blame for the resurgence. In fact, people are told to stay home as much as possible and to only go out sparingly. And if they do go out, most states require people to wear a mask and/or to stay 6 feet apart from others.
However, a lot of people just ignore these rules. And if we’re being honest, the reason the virus is spreading is likely due to the fact that so many people are ignoring these important guidelines and are acting as if everything has gone back to normal. They ignore the fact that a pandemic is still going on, and many people would say that those who are behaving this way are conspiracy theorists. That is because a lot of people think the virus is a hoax. It is likely due to some of that. However, a large number of those engaging in this behavior are narcissists.
Why Narcissists Are Contributing to the Spread of the Coronavirus
These narcissists know very well that the virus is spreading, but as usual, they feel that the rules just don’t apply to them. That’s why narcissists are inevitably among those who insist on going to bars, going to packed beaches, and not wearing masks and not social distancing. If they know the virus is real, then why do they engage in this behavior? Let’s look at some reasons.
1. They Lack Empathy, Especially Towards Those That Are Vulnerable
Empathetic people know that they can easily become asymptomatic carriers and pass it onto someone who is vulnerable such as a grandparent, someone who is immunocompromised, or a pregnant woman. This is why they stay home as much as they can and if they must go out, they wear masks when they go to public places. However, the narcissist lacks empathy, and as a result, caring for others is just not a concern for them.
Worse, narcissists view those who are vulnerable as burdens to society anyway. Their attitude is if they get sick from the virus, it just means there are fewer burdens in the end. Even if that means their own grandparents end up catching the virus and succumbing to it.
2. The Rules Simply Don’t Apply To Them
Narcissists know the rules, but they don’t care. They ignore social distancing guidelines. They will not wear masks even if they are told they must in certain places. They believe they are above it all. They scream about how these rules were created just to strip away their freedom. The bottom line is that narcissists do what they want and please.
3. They Can’t Face Their Own Demons
When the lockdown was going on and you were in quarantine, you knew that spending time alone meant having to face your shadow self. That is uncomfortable for anyone to do. But narcissists avoid it at all costs. They cannot face their demons and they do not self-reflect. If narcissists were unable to go out, they would have likely given into addictions or abused those who were locked down with them.
The one thing that COVID-19 has done has shown the true colors of everyone it has affected in any way. And sadly, this pandemic has also shown the true colors of narcissists, more than ever.
You’re aware of the risks when it comes to not social distancing right now, as well as not wearing masks and gloves when you are out. Maybe you’re young and healthy, but you’re still trying to be extra careful with not putting yourself at risk for catching the virus. You may be not so much concerned about yourself. But you may be worried about passing the virus onto those who are physically vulnerable such as the elderly and those who have weak immune systems.
The goal is to protect yourself as well as your community. That’s understandable.
However, there is one major problem that is not getting enough attention. That is this pandemic has also increased the mental health risks such as increased depression and anxiety. That is not the worst part of it. Those who have mental illnesses who are trying to not regress into a hole are often judged if they go out to a hardware store to get ‘non-essential’ items. Their thinking is why bother putting the community at risk while going out to get an item that is ‘non-essential’.
You may see a man head over to the hardware store who is buying plenty of cans of paint. You may be thinking ‘how can he be selfish and put those at risk by going out to get items that he does not really need’. But here is the thing. Maybe for him, the cans of paint are essential. Maybe those cans of paint are helping him cope with his depression. Maybe he needs to so some home improvement during the time of quarantine for the sake of his mental health.
The same goes for the woman who is buying seeds and soil, as you may think that she is being selfish for risking others by purchasing a non-essential item. But what if she is an alcoholic who is doing her best to stay sober during this stressful time? Maybe buying seeds and soil to watch something grow is the very thing she needs to do in order to keep her sober.
The point is you cannot judge those who are leaving their homes to buy non-essential items. Sure, there is also a curbside pickup option. But that is not quite the point. You may be so focused on staying home unless you absolutely need to go out to get essential for the purpose of protecting those who are physically vulnerable. But don’t forget people are struggling with their mental health right now. There are more suicides, addiction relapses, and at the very least people who were doing well with their mental health have been regressing. Let’s not forget the wellbeing of those who are struggling as well.
Coronavirus is not the only epidemic going on right now. Mental illness is as well and this means you have to consider the needs of those who may not be physically vulnerable but are vulnerable due to the fact that they are struggling with mental illness right now.
“I have come to believe that caring for myself is not self-indulgent. Caring for myself is an act of survival.” ~Audre Lorde
After breaking away from a toxic relationship with an abusive narcissist, you may find that you have forgotten how to treat yourself the way you deserve to be treated. You may not know how to nurture yourself properly, because you have not been nurtured. And because you’ve spent so much time focused on someone else’s needs while ignoring your own. Fortunately, there are simple ways to take care of yourself that can have some excellent healing effects on you.
5 Self-Care Tips for Narcissistic Abuse Survivors
Let’s look at 5 easy self-care tips that many survivors of narcissistic abuse tend to overlook or forget completely.
You may have been conditioned to do things for others at your own inconvenience while being in a non-nurturing relationship. However, when you reclaim your power by saying ‘no’ and sticking to it, you will feel much better. Only do favors for others if you feel you will get something out of it and if you are not inconvenienced in any way. You don’t need to be a people-pleaser anymore, as you’ll learn in this video.
Reading is really good for your mind, as it is stimulating and relaxing at the same time. You will want to read books that are in the genre you are interested in. And you may want to read about something that you know very little about so you have the opportunity to learn something new. But the best thing to do is to take a nice bubble bath and to take your favorite book, and enjoy some self-pampering. Nighttime reading is great, as long as you are not reading something that is too stimulating before bed. There are also tons of amazing books for survivors of narcissistic abuse Not a reader? That’s okay. Figure out what your passion is and take it to the next level! This video teaches you how to find passion and purpose in your own life.
5. Do Nothing
If you don’t feel like doing anything at a particular time, there is nothing wrong with just sitting there and doing nothing. Don’t berate yourself for not being productive at that given moment. Perhaps you need to just sit there and literally do nothing. This could be a reset for you so you have the energy to be productive. Sit there, listen to music, and just allow your body to reset itself. Here is a video that will teach you how to calm down quickly.
These overlooked self-care tips are a lot more helpful than you would think but why not utilize them and heal at the same time! Stay healthy.
You already know of some signs that someone is a narcissist by how they make themselves seem as they are the most important thing of all. But what about other things that narcissists do that you would not even expect? There are things that they do that are quite unsettling and just strange.
Think about someone who never blinks as they look at you. Not only is it creepy, but this tactic is a predatory one because it just shows they have a trick up their sleeve and it will be done at your expense. If you are talking to someone who is not blinking while talking and looking at you regardless of how charming they are (another trait of a narcissist), then you will want to run as fast as you can.
2. Narcissists Speak Out of Turn (Which Means Plenty Of Interruptions)
When you are talking, a narcissist does not hear you at all. In fact, they’re just waiting for their turn to talk – if they even wait. They just hear themselves and they will talk whenever they choose to talk. This means they will interrupt you and not even care. They don’t even notice that you are really talking. They just want to hear their own voices.
3. It’s Always About the Narcissist
It is interesting what a narcissist does when you are talking about yourself or someone else. They immediately somehow twist those words around and make that about themselves. It could be something that is completely unrelated to what they do or like and yet, it will be about them. For instance, you are talking about going square dancing because that is something you enjoy. And the narcissist knows absolutely nothing about square dancing. However, they will find something along the lines of how they are the best dancers and have been told they are – even if the dance has nothing to do with square dancing.
4. Narcissists’ Mood Swings Are Unpredictable
When you are talking to a narcissist who is in a good mood, just know that it will not last because the next moment they could be quite explosive. That in itself would be quite unsettling when they turn around and frighten you. You never know what type of mood the narcissist will be in when you are talking to them.
5. Narcissists Have An Insincere Way Of Talking
They could present a fake accent or just a strange way of talking. Either way, the way they speak is not natural. And this alone should be a warning sign that someone who does this is not trying to be funny. They are a narcissist.
In some cases, that could be a sign. But not always – taking selfies does not make one a TOXIC narcissist. In any case, that is not the only sign, and that is not the most concerning sign that someone is a narcissist. Let’s look at 5 examples of narcissistic behavior.
1. Being Extremely Charming…Sometimes
People want to make a nice impression that they are kind and often put on an act when they hook up with a new date for the first while. That is normal. And over time, you will see how their true personalities are. But putting on an act of being nice and kind is not the same as someone who is so charming to the point that you know they must be hiding something. They most definitely are hiding something with that charm but it shows up once the charm wears off. And behind closed doors? They are a completely different person. Unless they want something from you. This video fills you in on that “intermittent reinforcement” stuff.
2. Having A Sense Of Importance Which Is Extremely Inflated
Those who show narcissistic behaviors think that they are the only ones whose needs and wants count. They will think it is just fine, for instance, to cut in front of lines because they are more deserving of getting something than anyone else. Others will be mad when they see the narcissist cutting in line but the narcissist will not care.
A narcissist is not empathetic. They do not care if someone is suffering, and they do not want to hear about it. In fact if someone is having a hard time and they try talking to the narcissist, then the narcissistic will not just ignore them but will tell them to be quiet and get over it. At worst, he or she may even laugh. According to one study, narcissists can be taught empathy, but there’s a catch. This video will explain exactly what I mean.
4. A Strong Need To Be Admired Excessively
A narcissist will brag about their accomplishments because they have this strong need to be admired and they need the attention. They will also make it known if they were ‘heroic’ somehow to someone, such as opening the door for an elderly couple at the mall. Not that the narcissistic cares about that elderly couple as it was already covered that they are not empathetic. They just did it so that they have something to brag about, as they did a ‘good deed’. And this is exactly whynarcissists tend to have their very own little “harem” – which is described in this video.
5. Having One Troubled Relationship After Another (Because It Is Always The Ex’s Fault)
If someone who displays these traits and talks about so many exes that they had, and who blames them for ruining their relationships – then that is a red flag right there. Of course, it is never the narcissist’s fault for having so many failed relationships. That also brings it to how the narcissist blames others for everything as they will never take responsibility for what they do. Not only that, but they have a toxic relationship cycle that goes on in each relationship (and repeats throughout their relationships in their lifetime). This video will give you the 411 on the narcissist’s toxic relationship cycles.