Quarantined with a Narcissist? Quick & Dirty Tips to Help You Survive With Less Stress

Quarantined with a Narcissist? Quick & Dirty Tips to Help You Survive With Less Stress

Stuck at Home with a Narcissist During the CoVID19 Quarantine? Here’s How to Deal and What to Expect

Are you stuck at home with a narcissist during this difficult time? If you are, then you’ll need tips on how to deal and what to expect. This video offers you the honest truth about what you can expect as well as tips and ideas on how to deal with the narcissist’s manipulation and gaslighting in the moment, and more.

Self-Help Tips for Controlling Panic Attacks in Narcissistic Abuse Recovery

Self-Help Tips for Controlling Panic Attacks in Narcissistic Abuse Recovery

How To Control Panic Attacks (For Toxic Relationship Survivors) – The AWARE Method for Overcoming Panic Attacks (Actionable Self-Help Tips)

All of us experience anxiety from time to time but this is especially true for people who have been in toxic relationships with narcissists. And, it’s tougher when it evolves into a full anxiety attack or a panic attack. This is something that most of us will experience at some time in our lives and that can ultimately become crippling as you worry that heading out into public spaces could result in fainting, or that falling asleep could trigger an episode.

Fortunately, there are ways to treat panic attacks and with the right approach, these methods can be highly effective at getting the problem under control and even preventing them altogether. One such option is to use the ‘AWARE’ strategy.

What is AWARE?

AWARE is an acronym that stands for:

  • Acknowledge and Accept
  • Wait and watch
  • Actions to make yourself comfortable
  • Repeat
  • End

Each of these parts is described in detail in this video.

The key to this is essentially to accept that the attack is happening and not to try and ‘fight it’. Instead, you simply acknowledge it and then ‘watch’ it as you go about your business as usual. The very best way to fight a panic attack? To continue acting as though it’s not happening.

When you first notice a panic attack begin, you will find that the symptoms can be somewhat similar to what you imagine a heart attack to be like.

As you may expect, this in itself can be a highly distressing prospect and actually creates much more anxiety. Other people are actually afraid of anxiety attacks themselves because they dislike the experience so much.

Thus it’s common to start worrying about the panic attack itself as well as whatever triggered it. It’s this subsequent panic that can lead to escalation and ultimately result in the individual passing out of collapsing.

And this, in turn, is why it’s so important not to try and ‘combat’ the effects of a panic attack through sheer will. Instead, by ignoring the panic attack, by recognizing it for what it is and by being comfortable and allowing it to run its course you can actually find that it goes away much more quickly. What’s more, is that once you lose the fear of the symptoms, it will eventually stop happening altogether.

Of course, it is still important to try and remove yourself from any potential danger – which may mean pulling over if you are driving or removing yourself from a public space. Be sure to see your doctor before using any self-help tips you find here or anywhere on the internet.

Why ‘Fake It Til Ya Make It’ Isn’t Always Great Advice

Why ‘Fake It Til Ya Make It’ Isn’t Always Great Advice


Faking Happiness? Why You Need to Stop It, Right Now!

Want to Level Up Your Life? Quit Faking Happiness! YOU really can be happy and fulfilled after a toxic relationship with a narcissist.

Quit Faking Happiness and Learn How to Live Authentically

Many people are content with the lives that they lead on the surface, but deep down, crave something totally different. The most common excuse is that “they could have it worse, so there’s no point in complaining.” You have to be happy by your own standards. If you’re not happy working 9 to 5 at your office job, then make a change in your life. If you want freedom from a corporate job and want to start your own online business, go for it!

Don’t settle for a mediocre lifestyle and pardon it just because “things could be worse.” Of course, things could be worse. You could be homeless, crippled, starving, and tons of other unfortunate things. Don’t let that stop you from doing what you dream of – always strive for the best of the best.

Become that person you always daydream of being, because it’s attainable. The only thing holding you back from achieving these dreams is yourself. The people around you can’t control who you are or what you find happiness in doing.

You have to set your own goals and, more importantly, strive to achieve them. By feigning happiness, you’re barely fooling the people around you, but you can never fool yourself.

You’ll always have that feeling that you’re not content, or that you wish you were somewhere else in life. Everyone else might think you’re pretty happy doing what you’re doing, but you know the truth.

Even some of the people closest to you might see through your façade and realize that you’re feeling stuck. If you let it be known that you’re looking for a change in your life, those opportunities are more likely to present themselves.

The most important part of living a wholesome life is knowing what you want out of this world. Don’t try to convince yourself that stocking shelves at a grocery store is what you want.

If you want to see every corner of the world, you should strive to accomplish that, because at the end of the day, you’ll feel much more accomplished than you would living your typical, everyday life that helps make ends meet, but doesn’t do anything to contribute toward your personal satisfaction.

When you finally accomplish whatever goal you’re working towards, you can tell people that you’re happy and actually feel that way deep down. It will be refreshing to be truthful about your life.

End Rumination Now: Narcissistic Abuse Recovery

End Rumination Now: Narcissistic Abuse Recovery

Going through a toxic relationship with a narcissist leaves many of us unable to stop overthinking everything. We get stuck in rumination. Do you find yourself spending too much time overthinking and not enough time getting things done?

Rumination and overthinking is common, especially when making decisions. Overthinking wastes time and lowers your confidence. The most successful people make decisions quickly and stick with them. The less successful take too long to decide and quickly change their mind afterward.

You might think that you’re being responsible and cautious by taking your time to decide, but you’re shooting yourself in the foot. There’s no evidence to suggest that ruminating excessively on a decision results in a better outcome.

Make up your mind and get on with your life:

1. List the advantages and disadvantages. Write them down. There’s something magical about taking pen to paper when making decisions. By the time you’re done, you’ll have a better idea of the right direction to take.

2. Be aware of your core values. Decisions are more quickly and easily made when you know your core values. When you consider a choice, test it against your core values. Often, these choices aren’t the easiest, but are in your best interests.

3. Remember that you can always change your mind. There are few, if any, decisions you must stick with until your funeral. Just knowing that you can change your mind later can give you the comfort needed to decide. It’s not possible to predict the future with 100% accuracy anyway.

4. Avoid paralysis by analysis. Overanalyzing doesn’t lead to better results. It leads to inactivity and confusion. The Special Forces have a rule that you only need to be 70% certain to act. You might not be in the military, but the same general concept applies. Often, the window of opportunity closes before the last 30% of the information can be gathered.

5. Think both short-term and long-term. Ideally, an option exists that satisfies both criteria. Ask yourself if you’ll be happy with your decision in 15 minutes and in 15 years. Any decision that meets both requirements is a great decision.

6. Stay busy. Those that overthink often have the luxury of too much free time. Busy people make decisions quickly because they don’t have the time to brood over every decision. Be more active in general. You’ll find it easier to make decisions in a timely fashion. Exercise is one way to stay busy. You don’t overthink when your body is tired.

7. Use your experience to your advantage. You’ve made plenty of poor choices over the years. It would be a shame to allow them to go to waste. Consider whether you’ve been in a similar situation in the past. You might gain some great insight.

8. Use a timer to make decisions. Most decisions don’t require weeks, or even days, to make. A couple of hours is more than sufficient most the time. Use a timer and put some focus on the issue. When you hear the alarm, it’s time to decide. A timer is an effective way to narrow your focus.

9. A good decision now beats a great decision later. What are you waiting for? Success is more about making decent decisions and working hard than it is about making awesome decisions. Avoid overestimating the value of perfection and underestimating the value of the activity.

Avoid overanalyzing every little decision. You’re limiting your results in life if you spend too much time making decisions. Be clear on your values and consider using a timer. You don’t make better decisions by overthinking them. You just waste time. Use that time to execute your decisions. You’ll be more successful.

 

When You Feel ‘the Shift’ in Narcissistic Abuse Recovery

When You Feel ‘the Shift’ in Narcissistic Abuse Recovery

See full video.

Throughout the course of my recovery from a toxic relationship with a narcissist, I have found myself experiencing several shifts in mindset – moments where it felt almost like some sort of switch had been flipped – where I suddeNly understood things differently and recognized that I had been wrong all along in some way or another. Each time, I found myself evolving and growing in new ways.

For example, I have told you the story of how, after a profound betrayal by my toxic family, I almost literally felt something break inside me. That was one of those moments.

A couple of years later, I found myself in a very unexpected moment of anger one day. Through the process of my inner child work, I had managed to recognize that I wasn’t the complete waste of skin that I had been led to believe I was. You would think that would make me happy, and it did, eventually.

But when I recognized how much of my life had been wasted believing that I was worthless – and that it was directly caused by the fact that I had allowed other people’s opinions of me to become my own opinion – and on some level my own reality?

I was incredibly angry. I felt, perhaps for the first time in my life, what I call justified rage. That moment would lead to another one of those “light switch” moments where my perception was suddenly shifted and I launched into a whole new period of personal evolution.

And then there was the birth of my oldest child – which led me to have a shift in my understanding of my relationship with my father, for reasons I won’t go into today. The birth of my youngest child, and only girl, caused a different shift in me – it led me to recognize a connection with the generations of women who came before me.

And it made me start digging into my family history and genealogy – because since I couldn’t feel connected to my mother, I felt the need to feel connected to the other women who came before me in a whole new way. I could go on for hours about the little “shifts” that have led me to this particular point in my personal development and evolution, but I won’t.

Today we are here to talk about you and your own personal evolution. We are discussing The Shift vs. Profound Metamorphosis in Our Evolution after narcissistic abuse.

I found this quote a while back. It reads:

“As you are shifting you will begin to realize you are not the same person you used to be. The things you used to tolerate have now become intolerable. Where you once remained quiet you are now speaking your truth. Where you once battled and argued you are now choosing to remain silent. You are beginning to understand the value of your voice and there are some situations that no longer deserve your time energy and focus.” ~Unknown

It spoke to me on a soul level. In fact, I did realize I wasn’t the person I had been before. And I was no longer tolerating the same crap I once did. And clearly, I am now speaking my truth.

I had also stopped bothering to argue with people who would refuse to hear or understand me – I was saving my energy and my voice for things and people that actually DO deserve my time and focus. People like YOU.

Here’s the thing -THIS is why I do what I do. Because even if you’re not ready to say goodbye to the problems (or problem people) in your life, you will personally shift as you learn about what you’re dealing with and as you’re learning about yourself.

The shift thing, though – that’s real. And maybe I never even considered it a shift before. Maybe I saw it as something fancier – a metamorphosis or a profound transformation.

But it all begins with this one thing – it’s a shift. A shift in your mindset. A shift in your thought patterns. A shift in your personal awareness and a shift in the deepest part of your soul. It’s a shift in your energy. Yes, it becomes a metamorphosis. YES, it turns into a profound transformation. But without the shift – well, it never begins, does it?

As you shift, you become less and less tolerant of things that tarnish your energy and corrode your life – and over time, you raise your standards. Slowly but surely, you grow in confidence and understanding of yourself. Bit by bit, step by step.

If you’re in a toxic relationship with a narcissist at this time, you find that before long, you KNOW you have to change if you ever want to be happy and to grow. But once that shift is underway, a powerful and sometimes shocking thing happens. You SEE the problem, and you KNOW the solution. Things have never been clearer!

Now it’s time to shine because you are about to create something better. Something new. Come hell or high water, you will start taking care of yourself as your mother SHOULD have, and you will become your own fiercest advocate. And this is when, even when it seems impossible, you figure out a way to make the obvious solution become a reality.

THAT is the shift, right?

As we go through the healing process, we learn first that we have the problem, then we understand the “mechanics” of it.

Eventually, the psychology, the behaviors and at some point, it all comes together for us and we recognize the depth of it. Then, and in my opinion, ONLY then, can we really begin to evolve – to shift – and to become the truest, fullest versions of ourselves.

 

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