“I get up every morning and it’s going to be a great day. You never know when it’s going to be over so I refuse to have a bad day.” ~ Paul Henderson
Everyone has good days and bad, right? And, when you’re involved with a toxic narcissist, those days seem closer and closer together – sometimes, it seems like every day is a bad day.
So, you’ve got choices. Maybe you want to be miserable and focus on everything that sucks in your life? And if you do, then maybe you’re all set.
But your other option is to choose your own perception. You get to decide first how you see it, and then how to react to it.
So, when you’re faced with a bad day, you can decide to make the most of it. At the very least, avoid making it worse. A bad day doesn’t mean you should just throw in the towel – it just means you had a bad day. It means you need to pull up your panties and move forward.
After all, none of us are getting any younger, right? And you’ve only got so many days left, so why not take full advantage of each one?
You can accomplish something worthwhile, no matter how bad of a day you’re experiencing.
Okay, so how do you go about making the most of a bad day? Try these bad-day hacks.
1. Don’t make it worse. Complaining, overeating, yelling at a coworker or loved one, or drinking are just a few ways to potentially make a bad day worse. Why throw gasoline on the fire? Keep your wits about you and hold on. Tomorrow is a new day. It might be your best day ever.
2. Maintain your perspective. Maybe your boss hates your report, but it beats the heck out of living under a bridge. No matter how bad your day is, it could be a lot worse. And many are faced with far worse each and every day. Things will get better. Try making a gratitude list.
3. Get a little support. Meet with a friend for dinner or schedule a good Skype sesh. People love drama as long as it isn’t their own. Your friend would love to hear about your bad day over a delicious dinner. You can tell your story and unburden yourself, all while enjoying your favorite restaurant.
4. Remember that it’s just one day. You can handle one bad day. You’ve already successfully survived many in the past. Finish the day but look forward to tomorrow. Listen, if you just had the worst day of your life, things can only get better, right?
5. Avoid making any important decisions. A bad day isn’t the best time to decide to quit your job, give up on your dream of law school, or end a relationship. All of those things can wait until your mood and circumstances have normalized. Again, avoid doing anything that can make your crummy day significantly worse.
6. Change it up a little! Make plans that excite you. Decide to get away for the weekend or buy that new iPod you’ve been eyeing for the last few months – or schedule a night out with friends. Give yourself something to look forward to in the near future.
7. Learn a lesson. Is there anything you did to cause your bad day? Could your rough day have been prevented? Can you learn anything from this experience? A rough day isn’t so bad if you learned something useful from it. Make the best of it.
8. Breathe. Unless you’re underwater, breathing is always a good idea to relieve tension and regain control of your emotions. Just breathe and get your work done. Completing everything that needs to be done is more challenging when everything seems to be going wrong, but you’ll feel more satisfied at the end of the day if it wasn’t a complete loss.
9. Get some Z’s – take a power nap. Sometimes you can reset your day and your brain by taking a quick nap. Maybe you’ll see your situation in a new light. A nap also provides a needed break.
Deal with your bad days in the most positive way you can. When times are tough, focus on the small things – getting through the day, surviving and getting the important stuff done.
Most importantly, don’t use a bad day as an excuse to do something stupid or you might find that it can get worse. Feel me?
So, now it’s your turn – tell me what you do when you have a bad day. How do you deal and what advice would you offer a friend who’s in the same predicament? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments section and let’s talk about it!
Angela Atkinson is a certified trauma counselor and the author of more than 20 books on narcissism, narcissistic abuse recovery, and related topics. A recognized expert on narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder who has studied and written extensively on narcissistic personality disorder and narcissistic abuse in toxic relationships since 2006, she has a popular narcissistic abuse recovery YouTube channel. Atkinson was inspired to begin her work as a result of having survived toxic relationships of her own.
Atkinson offers trauma-informed narcissistic abuse recovery coaching and has certifications in trauma counseling, life coaching, level 2 therapeutic model, CBT coaching, integrative wellness coaching, and NLP. She is a certified trauma support coach and certified family trauma professional. She also has a professional PTSD counseling certification. Her mission is to help those who have experienced the emotional and mental devastation that comes with narcissistic abuse in these incredibly toxic relationships to (re)discover their true selves, stop the gaslighting and manipulation, and move forward into their genuine desires – into a life that is exactly what they choose for themselves.
Along with her solution-focused life coaching experience, Atkinson’s previous career in journalism and research helps her to offer both accurate and understandable information for survivors of abuse in a simple-to-understand way that helps to increase awareness in the narcissistic abuse recovery community. Atkinson founded QueenBeeing.com Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support, the SPANily Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support Groups and the Life Makeover Academy.
She offers individual and group coaching for victims and survivors of narcissistic abuse at NarcissisticAbuseRecovery.Online.