“I love romance. I’m a sucker for it. I love it so much. It’s pathetic.” ~Drew Barrymore
Love it or hate it, romance almost always helps to keep the spark in a relationship!
You’ll likely agree, but maybe you feel like you lack an understanding of romance altogether. Have you tried your hand at romance, but still haven’t quite mastered it?
Romance is a topic that many people in a relationship feel uncertain about. So you’re definitely not alone with your insecurities.
It’s actually pretty easy to develop and refine your romantic streak. Romance takes nothing more than a little creativity and a genuine interest in treating your significant other in a special way.
Try these tips to spark your romance:
1. Consider what makes you feel loved. Take a moment to think about what made you get those butterflies in the past. What special act caused the romance to bubble over?
- Is there a special term of endearment your partner uses when speaking about you? Why not consider taking a similar approach?
- Perhaps those “I’m in love with you” hugs that feel different from the others could be reciprocated more often.
- Has your partner ever dedicated a song to the day you met and fell in love? That would surely make anyone melt!
2. Understand your partner’s likes. Being romantic can be as simple as doing things your partner likes. Create a bucket list of those things to make it easier to think of romantic gestures.
- Does your partner love to dine at a specific restaurant? Why not set a dinner date and have the restaurant bring out a love token on cue?
- Everybody loves massages! Offer a massage when your partner least expects it.
- Is there a favorite dessert your special person loves? Instead of buying it at the bakery, try making it yourself. There are likely plenty of recipes for that dish on the internet.
3. Be yourself. It’s possible you haven’t exactly mastered romance because you aren’t being yourself. It’s pretty difficult to “play a role” that you’re obviously uncomfortable playing.
- You’ve probably read that dressing in alluring lingerie is a surefire way to spark romance. But if you feel uncomfortable parading around in lingerie, you don’t need to. It will be blatantly clear to your partner that you’re not feeling it. And that’s the fastest way to kill romance!
- It’s absolutely important to show that your gestures are genuine. Always choose things that you’re genuinely happy doing. One of the most significant victories comes when your partner realizes you’ve done it from the heart.
- Sometimes all it takes is a little quality time. Show your partner that you’ve specially reserved time for just the two of you.
4. Create lasting memories. Make plans for an outing that you can reminisce on together years down the road. Being able to recall your romantic gestures helps to keep the spark alive!
- Find ways to relive special moments.
- If you’ve arranged a special occasion, why not get it videotaped? You and your loved one can watch it over and over.
- Make a special event an annual occurrence. If it’s something that allowed the romance to spark, it’s a great idea to do it every year at the same time.
With these creative yet simple tips, you’re guaranteed to have ongoing romance in your relationship. Just remember that love and genuine desire to make your partner happy are key. Then it’s smooth sailing the rest of the way!
What are your favorite ways to get romantic? Share your thoughts in the comments section, below!
Angela Atkinson is a certified trauma counselor and the author of more than 20 books on narcissism, narcissistic abuse recovery, and related topics. A recognized expert on narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder who has studied and written extensively on narcissistic personality disorder and narcissistic abuse in toxic relationships since 2006, she has a popular narcissistic abuse recovery YouTube channel. Atkinson was inspired to begin her work as a result of having survived toxic relationships of her own.
Atkinson offers trauma-informed narcissistic abuse recovery coaching and has certifications in trauma counseling, life coaching, level 2 therapeutic model, CBT coaching, integrative wellness coaching, and NLP. She is a certified trauma support coach and certified family trauma professional. She also has a professional PTSD counseling certification. Her mission is to help those who have experienced the emotional and mental devastation that comes with narcissistic abuse in these incredibly toxic relationships to (re)discover their true selves, stop the gaslighting and manipulation, and move forward into their genuine desires – into a life that is exactly what they choose for themselves.
Along with her solution-focused life coaching experience, Atkinson’s previous career in journalism and research helps her to offer both accurate and understandable information for survivors of abuse in a simple-to-understand way that helps to increase awareness in the narcissistic abuse recovery community. Atkinson founded QueenBeeing.com Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support, the SPANily Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support Groups and the Life Makeover Academy.
She offers individual and group coaching for victims and survivors of narcissistic abuse here at QueenBeeing.com and at NarcissisticAbuseRecovery.Online.