Even better, you can implement the strategies at home, on your own – and it’ll help your healing in ways you might not expect.
On a very basic level, NLP is just a way to manage your head – it helps with communication, processes, and procedures to help improve your life. Here’s what it is and how it works.
What is Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP)?
Neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) is a practical and effective way to create change by modeling successful people’s language structure and behavior. NLP can help you change your behavior, way of thinking, and communication with yourself and others. NLP has also been used to treat various problems—from phobias to schizophrenia.
And, of course, survivors of narcissistic abuse can use it to recalibrate after abuse and change their lives for the better.
Basic NLP Principles
The two biggest principles of NLP are that the map is not the territory and that life and mind are systemic processes. Any technique you learn in NLP is built on these principles, which allow us to understand better how the brain works—and thus change undesirable behaviors into more desirable ones.
1. The map is not the territory.
The map-territory metaphor illustrates how our mental constructs differ from the reality they attempt to describe.
For a map to be useful, it must contain enough detail that we can use it even when traveling through unfamiliar territory.
This means that, as people, we have no way to understand reality. Instead, we understand our perceptions of that reality, and those perceptions may be flawed.
We use our senses to map what we believe is there.
These maps are what determine our behavior, not reality itself.
So, if your map is skewed, you’ll behave in kind.
2. Life and mind are systemic processes.
This means that the things going on inside your mind and body, and between you and your environment, are connected and can’t be isolated. Trying to do so won’t result in success.
In other words, your mind and life are interconnected, so you can’t separate the mental from the physical, social, or emotional aspects. How people treat you and your environment influences your feelings about a situation.
How does NLP work for a survivor of narcissistic abuse?
As a survivor of narcissistic abuse, NLP can help you change your life and offers highly effective personal development and growth tools.
It’s also highly effective for survivors of narcissistic abuse in toxic relationships during their healing and beyond.
NLP techniques focus on feelings and emotions, which are core aspects of narcissistic abuse. This is why NLP works so well for survivors of such relationships—its emphasis on these concepts makes dealing with trauma possible.
NLP applies to all aspects of life, from representing information and making decisions to interacting with others.
Why should you try NLP in narcissistic abuse recovery?
Sometimes it’s hard to know what’s best for us when we can’t see a way out. It may seem impossible to get away from the toxic person, but you can use NLP to change your life. (And then plan your escape!)
NLP offers healing for the trauma of narcissistic abuse in a way that can help you move forward with your life with confidence and clarity.
It can give you insight into your unconscious mind and tap into your deep-seated emotions, which can help you develop the power, confidence, and self-esteem narcissists often damage in their partners.
So, by using an anchoring technique to set off powerful feelings in yourself when you think about past experiences with your abuser, you can learn to control your reactions—and stop yourself from feeling bad about what happened.
Basic NLP Technique for Narcissistic Abuse Recovery: Anchoring
By applying an anchoring technique, you can learn to set off positive feelings in yourself and others at will—and eliminate negative emotions associated with past experiences.
Anchoring allows you to associate a feeling with a device, an object, a certain color, or even a specific type of music. When you experience the object again, it triggers the same feelings.
This can be helpful for survivors of narcissistic abuse because it allows them to create positive associations in their minds around the things they love and eliminate negative feelings associated with past experiences.
How to Quickly Create an NLP Anchor in 4 Easy Steps
1. Choose a goal.
Decide what problem you want to solve. For example, maybe you want to feel more confident to set better boundaries with the toxic people in your life.
Imagine how it will feel to achieve the goal you have set for yourself. (So, maybe you’ll feel stronger, happier, more sure of yourself, and more confident overall.)
Remember when you felt close to how you want to feel when you achieve that goal. It might just be an ordinary moment when you felt good about yourself or a more significant moment in your life.
3. Choose and configure your anchor device.
For instance, you can touch your thumb and forefinger together or make a fist to help keep yourself in the present.
Put yourself back in that moment. Take all the time you need to remember all the details of what you saw, heard, smelled, and felt when it happened.
Allow yourself to relive the experience as if you were there—don’t think about it objectively. You won’t feel better if you ignore your feelings.
Repeat the memory until you can vividly recall it.
4. Activate your anchor.
In this step, you link your anchor from Step 3 with the feeling created here to make a new association as strong and vivid as possible.
For example, touch your thumb and forefinger together as the confident feeling increases.
Release your thumb and forefinger when the feeling begins to subside.
If you’ve done this well, the anchor has been activated, and you’re ready for the next step.
5. Test your anchor.
For example, touch your thumb and forefinger together as you did while activating your anchor.
This time, pay attention to how you feel.
You should notice a change in your feeling.
If you don’t, repeat the process until you do.
If you’ve been successful, it should feel like the anchor has been activated and is ready to use whenever necessary.
And, if you used the example I gave, you can now trigger your confidence by touching your thumb and forefinger together anytime you like.
Did you know that the scapegoat in the family is often the first to see the truth about what’s happening in the family? It’s true – and there are several reasons why. Before we discuss the reasons, let’s ensure we’re on the same page by defining a scapegoat.
What is a scapegoat in a toxic family?
When it comes to toxic families, the scapegoat is the person who is most often blamed for anything that goes wrong, even when they’re not directly involved.
“Scapegoating involves when a group targets a person who dares to speak up a group issue, but not conveniently, into an issue about the speaker, rather than have it be addressed by the group,” says licensed marriage and family therapist Evaline Wu in her scapegoat series.
Other
How does it feel to be the scapegoat?
As a scapegoat in a family or social group, you may feel alone and isolated, like no one understands what you are going through.
Maybe everyone encourages you to get professional help, and you’ve tried – but the therapist focused on YOU and not the family around you, so you didn’t get any help at all.
You may have been further traumatized by someone who couldn’t recognize your situation.
Where did the term ‘scapegoat’ come from?
In the 16th century, the word scapegoat was used to describe ritual animals used by Jewish people to carry off their sins before Yom Kippur.
Pointing out that this is a story about two goats, Corbeth adds, “One goat was mortally sacrificed, and another who was cast to the wilderness.”
“This “cast” goat was to carry all the sins of his tribe. The goat was chosen to carry away the “sins of man” so it would release all the tribe members of their guilt.”
Corbeth goes on to explain that this act would cause all of the members of the tribe to feel relieved since they’d cast their sins on to the poor animal, and adds that this made everyone happy.
Scapegoats are subjected to emotional and psychological abuse.
The scapegoated family member will be psychologically and emotionally abused, just like the rest of the family, when a narcissist is involved.
The scapegoat is blamed, shamed, smeared, and otherwise abused and manipulated, often without remorse or even concern from other family members or group members.
The difference is that they are exposed to more of it than the other members of the toxic family.
And the worst part is that the abuse will come from other family or group members inadvertently.
Why do other family members take part in abusing the scapegoat?
It is not usually intentional; it’s just how the family avoids facing its own toxicity.
Like the original scapegoat (from the Bible and in Greek Mythology), the family lays its problems on the doorstep of the scapegoat and feels relieved when they do.
“This process of projection, shaming, and blaming serves to divert attention away from the rest of the family’s mental and emotional problems via casting the targeted family member into the role of ‘scapegoat,’ psychotherapist Rebecca Mandeville, author of Rejected, Shamed, and Blamed: Help and Hope for Adults in the Family Scapegoat Role explains. “It is sometimes the case that families who scapegoat one of their own are oblivious to the fact that they are engaging in psycho-emotional abuse and will become highly defensive if this is pointed out.”
Because the scapegoated family member is portrayed as the “problem child,” the other family members, even those who would not otherwise be abusive, will take part in abusing the scapegoat.
And a lot of times, the scapegoat will find themselves falling into the role by doubting their own worthiness and beginning to believe that they really are intrinsically wrong.
What happens when the scapegoat tries to tell the rest of the family about their discovery?
In some cases, the other family members might be willing to acknowledge the issues.
But in most cases, they won’t admit what’s happening, either because they benefit from it or because they just can’t see it and are stuck in the narrative that the scapegoat is a walking problem.
The truth is that if the scapegoat’s abuse benefits them in some way, most family members don’t want to know, and they refuse to acknowledge the truth either because they are enablers or don’t want to deal with it the unpleasantness of it all.
An Example of the Scapegoat Archetype
One example of a scapegoat can be seen in Nathaniel Hawthorne’s 1852 novel The Scarlet Letter, in which Pearl Prynne is a perfect example of the scapegoat archetype.
In the novel, the townspeople see Pearl as an incarnation of Hester Prynne’s sin and punish her for it—even though she had nothing to do with her mother’s misdeeds.
What else would you expect? From very early in their lives, scapegoats are taught they’re worthless and cause all family problems.
The bad news is that some scapegoats never realize the truth.
The good news? Many will experience the scapegoat awakening.
What is the Scapegoat Awakening?
While you might imagine something like an “awakening” would be a huge deal, and you’d come out of such a realization with some kind of new clarity, it’s not all that dramatic and profound.
It can be considered an awakening when you realize something isn’t what you thought.
So, when the scapegoat recognizes that they’re NOT the entire world’s biggest piece of poo, they have had their awakening.
But that’s not what matters here; what’s important is what they do next.
How does the scapegoat awakening happen?
We know scapegoats are often the first family members to see something wrong.
This is partly because they’re often worn down from being scapegoated and made to feel like everything’s their fault.
It is so emotionally exhausting that many scapegoats actually start to believe that they are the problem.
This will often lead them to start researching – except they’re not researching what’s wrong with the family.
That was true for me.
If they’re anything like I was, the scapegoat begins by looking for answers to what is wrong with THEM, not the people doing the scapegoating.
How does being the scapegoat affect you long term?
Any type of emotional abuse can cause psychological trauma, anxiety, and even PTSD-like symptoms such as depression, loneliness, and flashbacks.
The narcissist’s toxic family structure is typically characterized by chaos and dysfunction. The narcissist will use their partner or child as a scapegoat for the narcissist’s own feelings of inadequacy and lack of control.
This is confirmed by Mandeville, who explains that in her professional experience, “the rejecting, shaming, and otherwise non-nurturing, harmful, and abusive family environment my clients grew up in (and had no means of escaping from) has actually contributed to their experiencing symptoms of Complex post-traumatic stress disorder (C-PTSD – which is also known as complex trauma disorder) secondary to chronic parental / family psycho-emotional (and at times physical) abuse.”
You must remember that narcissists rely on their family members to meet their need for narcissistic supply – and before the “awakening,” a scapegoat will do anything to please the narcissist.
If you were your family’s scapegoat, you’ll be able to relate to this discussion, in which Lise Colucci and I talk about being the scapegoat and what happens when the scapegoat in a family situation recognizes that there’s a problem in the family.
This might involve a narcissistic parent and/or several other toxic elements.
Also discussed is how to recognize and acknowledge when there is a narcissist in a primary role and how the scapegoat interacts with the other roles (such as the golden one, the lost one, the invisible one, the funny one, etc.).
Plus: how siblings or other family members may react and choose to stick with the narcissist and their enablers and deny the reality the family is dealing with, including how they keep secrets from (and for) the toxic people and how the scapegoat is most commonly alienated and actively put down, among other things.
Start Getting Help with Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Today
You are still reeling from your experiences during narcissistic abuse in a toxic relationship.
And who could blame you?
After all, you’ve lost your sense of who you are and of what reality is all about. It’s not that you’ve lost your intelligence or your personality – it’s just that it feels kind of disjointed or disconnected from the person you are today.
Something you may not remember right now is that MOST people you meet actually really enjoy your company.
They like you as a person, and they value your contributions. You’re great at conversation and even better at making people feel worthy and seen.
That is what the narcissist has hidden from you, and it’s why you’re feeling so foggy and lost, at least in part.
Understanding Brain Fog and C-PTSD in Narcissistic Abuse Recovery
Brain fog is common for survivors of circumstances when a loved one- especially a parent-was dealing with untreated mental illness.
How can your brain feel so foggy after a relationship with a toxic person? Brain fog is a difficult and confusing experience to live through, and it is one that is poorly understood by most people.
Brain Fog is, to put it simply, the feeling of dissociation or disconnectedness often experienced during and after narcissistic abuse. It’s a symptom of C-PTSD. It is what’s happening when you’re feeling lost, like you’re not really there, or like you’re watching your life through a screen or a bubble. You might also feel stuck and unable to function like you normally would.
How can you tell you’re dealing with brain fog?
Brain fog presents itself in different ways for different people. Some feel just stuck and unable to function.
Others feel like they’re watching their lives through a movie screen or like they’re in some kind of bubble that makes them feel like they’re not really here, or like they’re separated from everyone else.
What are the effects of brain fog after narcissistic abuse?
Along with the brain fog effects listed here, there are many other issues and concerns for those of us who have or have had struggles with brain fog.
But ultimately, when you realize that you have been gaslighted for many years and wonder why your health problems are getting worse, or why you are experiencing brain fog, that is because of the trauma from the abuse. (If you think you’re being gaslighted but you’re not sure, take this free gaslighting self-assessment).
Childhood trauma and toxic families lead to C-PTSD.
There is hope… even if you have severe brain fog and other illnesses related to the disorder. (If you think you’ve got C-PTSD, take this free C-PTSD self-assessment and find out).
The brain fog that many of us experience after a narcissistic relationship is one of the many symptoms of CPTSD. Brain fog is an impairment in a person’s ability to process information, think clearly, and make good decisions.
You may feel like you’re in a mental fog or daze most days or have difficulty remembering what you were just thinking about. This can go hand-in-hand with the memory problems experienced with PTSD, especially if the abuse you experienced was not physical but psychological.
Want to learn more about brain fog and narcissistic abuse recovery?
*Disclaimer – Please note: First and foremost, If you think you may be experiencing these symptoms, you should see a doctor. The last thing anyone wants is to end up misdiagnosed and treated for something that’s not impacting their health. ALWAYS be sure to check in with a doctor first, do your research, and talk to other people before making any decisions about your treatment options.
You’re feeling like it’s getting harder and harder to remember things. Maybe you have no idea where you put your keys, or if you already told your friend about a movie you watched.
As strange as memory loss sounds to people unfamiliar with brain fog, this is actually quite common among narcissist abuse victims.*
In fact, if you’ve ever experienced the ongoing abuse of a malignant narcissist in a toxic relationship, you’ve probably also experienced brain fog.
If you’re currently struggling with brain fog or any other symptom of C-PTSD, chances are that it’s at least in part due to the trauma the narcissistic abuser has caused you, and its symptoms are proof that you’re suffering from it.
What is “brain fog?”
Brain Fog is the feeling of dissociation or disconnectedness often experienced by victims of malignant narcissists during and after narcissistic abuse. Survivors describe it as feeling lost – like you’re not really there, or like you’re watching your life through a screen or a bubble.
The term is commonly used to describe short-term memory loss, forgetfulness, difficulty concentrating, confusion and difficulty thinking. Brain fog is a common symptom of C-PTSD, or complex post-traumatic stress disorder.
In other words, brain fog is exactly what it sounds like. A fog that clouds your thoughts, memory, comprehension, and judgment. See this video for more.
What happens to you when you have brain fog?
Brain fog can affect your sleep, professional life, and personal relationships, and lead to other health problems such as obesity. When you lack mental clarity, you make poor decisions and may take inappropriate actions.
If you suffer from brain fog, you are not alone. Brain fog affects roughly one out of every nine Americas during their lifetime. Some people also call brain fog mental fatigue.
How do you know if you’re dealing with brain fog?
If you aren’t sure whether you’ve felt brain fog, stick with me – it is a little confusing. For many people, it feels like you’re sort of “cloudy,” or like you’re not really participating in life.
You might feel like you’re sort of inside a bubble, or like there’s a thin barrier between you and everyone else.
Learning the symptoms of brain fog can also help you to understand if and when you’re having episodes.
What are the symptoms of brain fog?
Check out the symptoms of brain fog below. Keep in mind the symptoms will vary from person to person but usually includes one or more of the following symptoms.
Anxiety
Body aches
Confusion
Depression
Emotional detachment
Forgetfulness
Headaches
Inability to focus
Insomnia
Irritability
Mood swings
Lack of mental clarity
Low energy
Low motivation
Poor concentration
Why do we experience brain fog in narcissistic abuse?
Before I get emails and texts from people telling me that brain fog is only about narcissistic abuse, I’ll remind you that I’m well aware that it can also manifest for countess other reasons. Learn more about brain fog in this video,
Common Causes of Brain Fog and What You Can Do to Alleviate Them
Brain fog can be part of many issues, conditions, and illnesses. Here are four common causes of brain fog and what you can do about them. These issues can be affected by or even caused by long-term and ongoing narcissistic abuse.
Inflammation and Hormone Imbalances
Poor diet and exercise routines can lead to poor nutrition and vitamin levels that cause inflammation. Inflammation is by far the number one culprit of many diseases and symptoms. It restricts oxygen and blood flow needed for your brain to function at its best.
Consult your physician and request a complete blood count if you suffer from brain fog. In addition, low blood levels of vitamins such as D, B12, and iron can cause inflammation, lack of mental clarity, and difficulty focusing.
Stress and Anxiety
Oxidative stress or free radicals caused by environmental stressors such as pollution and heavy metals damage your cells and tissues.
These free radicals are responsible for many symptoms of stress and anxiety worldwide.
If you aren’t sleeping soundly and wake up feeling tired, you may have one or more sleep habits that are inhibiting a good night’s rest. For instance, you may be a night owl, suffer from sleep apnea or insomnia, have a varied sleep pattern, or have a poor sleep environment.
All of these can contribute to brain fog.
As an adult between 17 to 64 years old, your body needs seven to nine hours of sleep each night to give your body time to repair itself on a cellular level.
In advanced cases, such as sleep abuse related to narcissistic abuse, sleep deprivation can cause mood swings, depression, and even permanent brain damage due to constant overstimulation.
Electromagnetic Radiation and Overstimulation
Smartphones, personal computers, or any technology that requires radio waves, microwaves, infrared, optical, ultraviolet, x-rays, or gamma rays will cause problems when they are overused.
In other words, scrolling on social media or spending too much time in front of the television can cause strain on your eyes and affect your sleep patterns, ultimately leading to brain fog. Therefore, limiting time spent on or with technology is crucial.
Takeaway
Don’t let brain fog get in the way of living a successful, happy life. Many causes of brain fog can leave you with lifelong or permanent damage. Try these solutions with the consent of your doctor.
Be sure to seek the help of a physician or other medical professional to find the underlying cause of brain fog if you have it.
*Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional. Nothing in this article or on this website should be taken as medical advice. Always check with your doctor or medical professional before attempting to use any advice found here or anywhere on the internet.
Start Getting Help with Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Today
In fact, millions of people have been affected by narcissistic abuse from their spouses or partners, family members, friends, bosses, coworkers, and even acquaintances. So many survivors suffer in silence, and some don’t even recognize the abuse due to its pervasive nature.
But now you can change all of that – and the best part is that you don’t have to go it alone. You can get personal help from celebrity psychologist, Dr. Judy Rosenberg.
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The Mind Map Will Help You to:
Identify Your Childhood Wounds
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Yes, the same one that countless celebrities have used to heal from their own childhood traumas and adult toxic relationships.
The catch? Because she wants to personally guide each survivor through the system, she has limited access to this exclusive event to only 25 people.
So how do you qualify to be part of this rare event?
First, you must be able to attend each session and ready to take back your power.
Second, you must be willing and able to do the work involved.
Finally, you must be genuinely committed to creating profound personal change in your life.
What do you get out of this?
I mean, besides the opportunity to have this celebrity psychologist personally walk you through the system that has been helping the elite heal for years?
Not only will Dr. Judy teach you how to “think like a shrink” so you can manage your own mental health, but you’ll come away with a new secret superpower: you can reuse the Mind Map, again and again, to dig into and resolve most issues that keep you from living your best life.
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It’s true! Your brain and body seem to be conspiring against your conscious self when it comes to narcissistic abuse.
See, you know that what you’re dealing with is abuse, on a logical level. You know it doesn’t feel good to be with a narcissist.
And yet, some part of you secretly hates both the narcissist and yourself because you haven’t left or are missing them.
You start to think that, despite all of the evidence to the contrary in your personal experiences, not to mention your reading and research, the narcissist MIGHT really change for the next source of narcissistic supply.
And obviously, some part of you is well-aware that this abuse is wrong and that you should end the relationship, or at least be happy it ended.
But for some reason, you can’t stop thinking about the narcissist. You’re second-guessing yourself, feeling remorse and regret combined with self-doubt that ending is or was the right thing to do.
The more you miss them, the worse you want to see them – and the more you’re sure that you were overreacting and that you weren’t really abused at all.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder, as they say, and you develop abuse amnesia – forgetting what the narcissist has done to you and beginning to believe that things really can get better this time.
What are the long-term effects of narcissistic abuse in a toxic relationship?
It’s hard to imagine that everything you thought was true about your relationship might have been a lie, and yet this is the very reality you might be dealing with if you’ve just recognized the narcissistic abuse in your life.
This is just one of many ways that narcissistic abuse in a toxic relationship can lead you to find yourself dealing with serious cognitive dissonance.
And don’t worry – you’re not alone here – in fact, you’re in good company. The effects of narcissistic abuse are all-encompassing – and something like this happens to nearly every narcissistic abuse survivor somewhere along the way.
How do you reprogram your brain after narcissistic abuse?
As you probably know, our minds, more specifically our subconscious minds, control our lives.
In other words, we are what we think or believe.
Research has shown that there is a mind-body connection and that the mind can help us overcome health problems.
As I mentioned, one of the most important things to remember is that your brain is neuroplastic – this is what makes it possible for us to actually help to reverse and heal ourselves.
Cognitive dissonance is the mental discomfort (disagreeing cognitions) we experience when we encounter information that contradicts our existing set of beliefs or knowledge.
In other words, when we experience cognitive dissonance, we feel anxious because part of us wants to reject new information because it is threatening to our established beliefs – but another part of us knows that the new information may be true and is demanding that we accept it as such.
How can you deal with triggers and feeling dissociated during narcissistic abuse recovery?
Understanding trauma bonding is vital to understanding why it’s often so difficult to leave a narcissist, as well as why you can be triggered by seemingly innocuous things if you were previously involved with one. And the good news is that knowing more about it can help you better cope with your experience. Take the information below and use it to better understand your trauma bond and how to get past it.
Try This Reality Anchoring Technique
Reality anchoring is one of the most powerful NLP Anchoring Techniques you can use during your day-to-day life – anywhere and at any time.
Many studies have been conducted on the effectiveness of reality anchoring using different methods to evaluate it, and all of them have come up with similar results in terms of the effectiveness of the reality anchoring technique to reduce negative emotions, increase positive ones and enhance perceived well-being.
A reality anchor is a mechanism that allows you to connect your current situation with an unrelated but positive place in the past.
In other words, you may want to consider looking toward the future while making an emotional connection to some positive experiences from the past.
Doing so can increase your sense of well-being and happiness. It can also decrease any amount of sadness and increase your ability to cope.
This can be achieved by creating a trigger that links one part of your body with a pleasant memory.
For example, you may believe that smelling fresh flowers will reassure you that you were happy on a particular day in the past.
The reality anchor technique is used to encourage a person to be able to adjust their current emotions by finding the source of those emotions in an event in the past or future.
Why should you care if you’re trauma-bonded with the narcissist?
Understanding trauma bonding is vital to understanding why it’s often so difficult to leave a narcissist, as well as why you can be triggered by seemingly innocuous things if you were previously involved with one.
And the good news is that knowing more about it can help you better cope with your experience.
Take the information below and use it to better understand your trauma bond and how to get past it.
How does trauma bonding from narcissistic abuse actively affect your brain and state of mind?
The chemicals oxytocin, which encourages bonding, endogenous opioids – responsible for pleasure, pain, withdrawal, and dependence; a corticotropin-releasing factor which involves withdrawal, and stress; and dopamine which is connected to the craving, seeking, wanting the narcissist back, even when they’ve caused you extreme emotional stress and pain.
Toxic relationships and narcissistic abuse lead your neurochemistry to fall into dysregulated states, which makes it really hard to leave a narcissist and even harder to finally get over a toxic relationship.
Take Dr. Daniel Amen’s free Brain Health Assessment to discover your Brain Type and your Brain Fit Score!
How can you re-wire your brain after narcissistic abuse?
Your brain is neuroplastic, meaning it can change and heal in some pretty amazing ways. When you’re dealing with the type of brain damage that is caused by narcissistic abuse, you can sort of re-wire your brain yourself.
(Of course, you should always check with your medical professional to ensure there’s not some other underlying reason for brain fog or being forgetful.)
Speaking of brain fog, let’s define it.
What is brain fog?
Brain Fog is the feeling of dissociation or disconnectedness often experienced during and after narcissistic abuse.
It’s a very common symptom of narcissistic abuse-induced C-PTSD.
Most survivors report feeling lost like they’re not really there, or like they’re sort of watching life happen through a screen or a bubble.
Use Mindfulness to Beat Brain Fog!
Mindfulness is a powerful way to beat brain fog. Learn to live mindfully by practicing the following.
There is no wrong way to do this – just do it and know that everyone has wandering thoughts.
Begin your mindfulness practice by focusing on your breath, it will help ground you for the session.
Some people find it useful to use a mantra to focus on – that is a word or phrase that you say aloud and/or chant. It can be ‘Om’, something like ‘Peace’ ‘Love’ ‘Calm’ or anything you want.
You can use an audio or video of guided meditation if that helps you stay focused.
When you find your mind wandering, and you will, simply return to observing your breath for a minute or so to get back into your practice. You might say aloud ‘thinking’ to label what occurred (your mind wandering to other things) without judging it as bad or good.
Observe – your thoughts, feelings, and sensations – this is the objective of mindfulness (though Buddhists would say there is no goal).
Release – any thoughts, feelings, or sensations without judgment – this is critical to get the benefits of mindfulness.
Label – your thoughts, feelings, and sensations, even the errant ones that occur when the mind wanders; this can be helpful in the ‘observing and letting go’ process.
The more you do this, the easier it becomes.
There are active forms of mindfulness for those who can benefit from something more involved, ie. mindful movement and mindful walking.
Begin by setting aside 5 minutes to practice mindfulness the first week, then increase it to 10 minutes and continue to increase your time every week or so until you are practicing 20 minutes. If you can’t manage 20 minutes, do what works for you. Even 5 minutes each day (or twice a day) will help you.
Supplements That May Help With Your Healing
Did you know that there are certain supplements designed to help with healing your brain?
Calm My Brain: Quell your worried mind with this highly effective formula for the relief of anxiousness, featuring the ultimate calming mineral magnesium, the powerful stress-busting herb KSM-66® ashwagandha, and the fast-acting amino acid L-theanine.*
Attention Support: Trouble concentrating? Can’t sit still? Attention Support contains natural ingredients selected for their clinically proven benefits to help you relax, stay calm, and increase your attention span.
Betaine TMG: Provides the nutrient betaine (trimethylglycine, TMG), which enhances SAMe for healthy mood; provides crucial methyl for DNA, brain neurotransmitters, melatonin, and myelin production; and helps cells regulate their water content.
Brain & Body Power: The easiest way to get your daily mind and body essentials – parceled into convenient packets including a brain optimizing multi-vitamin-mineral, and pure omega-3 fish oil capsules.
Brain & Body Power Max: The most advanced memory-directed formula – perfectly portioned into convenient daily packets including a multi-vitamin-mineral, maximum memory-boosting nutrients, and omega-3 fish oil for complete daily nutrition.
Brain & Memory Power Boost: Our most advanced, best-selling memory formula with a lineup of powerful nutrients clinically proven to help protect circulation in your brain, boost mental connectivity, sharpness, and sustained focus.
Brain Boost On-The-Go: Fight brain fatigue and tackle your day with the zero-calorie, caffeine-free, and sugar-free, effervescent berry blend that’s perfect anytime, anywhere. Quick natural energy and hydration to help promote mental clarity. Simply add to water and enjoy.
Craving Control: Anyone who has ever tried to make better choices knows all too well how cravings can sabotage the best intentions. Craving Control contains all-natural ingredients that help to calm the craving centers in our brain, balance blood sugar and promotes a positive mood.
NeuroLink: Feeling irritable or sad for no reason? NeuroLink helps to balance our emotional ups and downs by delivering an exclusive blend of key nutrients to neurotransmitters in our brain helping us to feel tranquil and clear.
BrainMD’s GABA Calming Support: Calm your mind naturally with GABA Calming Support, an exclusive formula that contains clinically studied nutrients that help to calm your brain waves and help act as the biochemical “brakes” your brain needs to slow down your anxious or fretful thoughts.
Serotonin Mood Support: Does your mind race with negative thoughts? Try our customer favorite Serotonin Mood Support, which contains a patented form of saffron along with other key nutrients that help to promote calmness, positive mood, serotonin balance, and even healthy weight management.
SAMe Mood and Movement 400: SAMe Mood & Movement 400 provides SAMe (S-AdenosylMethionine), a nutrient with very high energy that helps power numerous enzymes important for the brain, joints, liver, muscles, and other organs. SAMe is fundamental to the body’s renewal, repair, and overall well-being.
Going Forward in Narcissistic Abuse Recovery
Being in a relationship with a narcissistic abuser causes survivors to experience a form of trauma and shock. For this reason, trauma therapy is helpful because it acknowledges that healing is a process and that there is more than one way to move forward.
Trauma therapy is often focused on the past but will also guide you toward future goals and dreams while teaching you how to deal with various triggers.
Awareness of cognitive dissonance, trauma bonding & emotional flashbacks can be instrumental in understanding what your inner experience of the relationship was so you can work through it & begin letting go. Find a therapist here.
You might also want to try narcissistic abuse recovery coaching, or if you’re looking for more of a small group setting with a lower price point, try our small group coaching plan – there are significant benefits to this and the price is significantly less than one-on-one coaching.
Takeaway
You are not to blame for your traumatic relationship with a narcissist. By understanding what happened to you and having the right support on your healing journey, you can go on to live a happy and meaningful life.
After overcoming narcissistic abuse, you may find yourself feeling like a whole new person. If you have found yourself in that stage, take comfort knowing you’re not alone.
It is a journey that is as exhilarating as it is exhausting, but the end result is well worth all the effort.
You can recover. You just have to take your time, and you have to trust the process.
Give yourself permission to rebuild your life from the ground up. It’s going to be a long and difficult road, but it will be worth it in the end.
Get Help With Your Narcissistic Abuse Recovery
The QueenBeeing SPANily, Official – We consider this to be the best narcissistic abuse recovery support group on the web. Offers several subgroups and features a vigilant, compassionate admin team full of trained coaches and survivors, supporting more than 12k members. SPAN is an acronym created by Angie Atkinson that stands for Support for People Affected by Narcissistic abuse in toxic relationships.
Other Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support Groups– We also have separate groups for each stage in your narcissistic abuse recovery, as well as some for those who have moved past recovery and are evolving into the next stage of their own life. Survivors have unique and individual needs, even when they’ve moved on – so we’re still here for you.
One-on-One Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Coaching – If you prefer to get more personalized support in your recovery, you might like to schedule a session with one of our coaches to plan and execute your own narcissistic abuse recovery plan.
Find a Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Therapist – If you’re looking for a therapist for narcissistic abuse recovery, either because you cannot afford coaching and want to use your health insurance or because you have additional issues you need to address that do not fall within the realm of coaching, you will want to find the right therapist for you – and as far as we’re concerned, that therapist must understand what you’ve been through. This page offers assistance to help you do exactly that.
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explains. “It is sometimes the case that families who scapegoat one of their own are oblivious to the fact that they are engaging in psycho-emotional abuse and will become highly defensive if this is pointed out.”
, in which Pearl Prynne is a perfect example of the scapegoat archetype.
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are great resources to combat these 
. Chili peppers, whole grains, red wine, and fruits and vegetables are a few examples.
Of Better Outcomes For Your Life!
