DIY Divorce: How Misty is Divorcing Her Narcissist

DIY Divorce: How Misty is Divorcing Her Narcissist

Divorcing A Narcissist Without an Attorney – She is Divorcing Her Narcissist Without an Attorney
Update #1

Read Misty’s column here at QueenBeeing.

7 Tips on How to Spot a Narcissist

7 Tips on How to Spot a Narcissist

Do you know how to spot a narcissist? Ask yourself these 7 questions if you aren’t sure. How do you spot a narcissist, exactly? What signs should you look for? Narcissists are so self-centered and self-indulgent that they see friends and lovers as mere extensions of themselves. They are obsessed with flattery and demand to be adored and have attention to themselves at all times.

Unfortunately, these narcissistic types are very seductive and you may at first be attracted to them without realizing what you are stepping into. Because their egos are so very fragile, they constantly crave attention which eventually puts their partner at risk of being on the losing end of the relationship.

To help you with some tips on identifying whether or not he or she is a narcissistic type, ask yourself the following questions:

1. Does he or she lose interest when they are not the center of attention?

2. Are most conversations about them, whether you try to change the subject or not?

3. Is your partner always fishing for compliments?

4. If you criticize him or her, do they literally fall apart, especially if it refers to their looks or their mistakes?

5. Do you catch them talking about all of their supposed ‘lost loves’ whom each seemed to have had major flaws in which he or she had to break up with them?

6. If he or she is not getting special treatment or constant attention do they get mad or have a temper tantrums? For example, if when they are not waiting on fast enough in restaurants or did not get the best seats at the movies, are they upset?

7. Do you find a pattern of this person using people just to get what they want and then discarding them when their own needs are met?

If the man or women you are interested in shows any number of these types of behaviors then you may want to be careful. These are not the type of people to get involved in a relationship with if you want equal attention and love.

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Fortune Cookie Wisdom: Signs From the Universe

Fortune Cookie Wisdom: Signs From the Universe

I’m one of those people who believes in signs from the Universe. Sometimes they’re little subtle hints, and other times they’re more like a smack upside the head

“I always call it ‘getting bricked,'” says Owning Pink’s Dr. Lissa Rankin, “As in ‘JABA (Jesus, Jehovah, Allah, Buddha, Athena, etc) just threw a brick at me to get my attention.'” 

Today is my 35th birthday. And somehow, the number 35 feels significant…like some sort of milestone. At any rate, I found myself feeling out of sorts yesterday, and even into today. Still, being me, I kept trying to convince myself that I didn’t really feel out of sorts.

As I went about my day today, I kept trying to focus on the positive, the things for which I’m grateful, even though this little niggling bit of negativity at the back of my mind poked at me like a burr in your socks on a hot summer day. (Did I just write that? Yep, and I’m letting it ride. It’s my birthday, so I’m giving myself the gift of wordiness, just for one day.)

I was feeling philosophical–sort of evaluating various significant parts of my life, and ultimately deciding that though there were many good times and a few not-so-good ones along the way, I have no regrets–and that even though I was feeling a little down at that moment, I am truly generally happier at this point in my life than I’ve ever been before.

Once I made sure the kids were happily entertaining themselves, I sat down to have a few minutes of quiet before it was time to start getting ready to go meet the extended family for a lovely birthday dinner. I noticed I was hungry and thought maybe that was one reason I was feeling so cranky–so I hit the kitchen to find a small snack to tide me over till dinner time.

Gazing noncommittally at our little snack shelf, I spied a lone fortune cookie in the corner, probably a leftover from the last time we ordered Chinese.  Now, normally, I consider fortune cookies a non-food (hence the reason one might be leftover), but this particular little cookie called my name.

Here’s where y’all are going to think I’m a little weird–but hear me out. I cracked open that cookie to reveal a message that hit me like a ton of bricks. It was like the Universe was speaking to me directly, smacking me in the face with a sentiment and a logic that has worked for me in every aspect of my life, but one which I was clearly not employing during this brief bout with apathy and depression.

The cookie’s message was:

“Our perception and attitude toward any situation will determine the outcome.”

Honestly, the sentiment of this message and the time at which it presented itself was too perfect to be coincidence. It was exactly what I needed to hear/read and remember at that moment, and it literally helped me to change my day, to change my mind…to change my experiences.

I truly believe it was a sort of “pep talk” to remind me that its all about our perception–that I, and I alone, get to decide what happens in my world–that my perception creates the world in which I live, and that I have the power to change my perception at will.

What a wake up call! A little “love-tap” from the Universe, if you will. It was such an intense moment that my eyes got a little misty–and I felt an intense wave of gratitude wash over me.

I think there are little “signs” all around us–little messages from the Universe, God…Goddess…however you identify that which is bigger than yourself. Today, on my 35th birthday, I got a gift– a direct message reminding me that I have the power to choose my perception. What a beautiful and amazing gift it is, too.

How about you? Do you have a story of a time that you got a “smack in the face” kinda sign? Share it in the comments section!

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