How to Talk to a Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Coach FREE

How to Talk to a Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Coach FREE

Get Free Video Coaching for Survivors of Narcissistic Abuse

Speak to one of our narcissistic abuse recovery coaches during a live-streaming video coaching session on YouTube.

Angie Atkinson and Lise Colucci each offer free online video coaching sessions through the QueenBeeing YouTube Channels. Subscribe here for Angie’s sessions and subscribe here for Lise’s sessions.

When are the free video coaching sessions?

Angie’s live sessions are on Tuesdays around 12:30 P.M. CST. Lise’s sessions are on Mondays, Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays later mornings or early afternoons.

How can I get a reminder for each session?

In addition to subscribing to each channel and hitting the “bell” notification, you can text us your number. This will allow us to text you a few minutes before each live session. To be notified 5 minutes before each coach goes live each time, you can text ANGIELIVE for Angie or LISELIVE for Lise to 33222. Want to sign up for both? No problem. Just send two texts as follows.

  1. Text to the number 33222. In the body of the text, write the following word, no spaces: ANGIELIVE
  2. Text to the number 33222. In the body of the text, write the following word, no spaces: LISELIVE

This will only take a few seconds and it will allow us to let you know each time we go live. We charge nothing for this service and you may unsubscribe at any time.

Need more? If you’re looking for support in your narcissistic abuse recovery, QueenBeeing.com has you covered. Be sure to check out our services page for a full overview of our offerings. In addition to our one-on-one coaching options, we have both free and inexpensive options. These currently include the following.

Want more personal support? Check out our one-on-one coaching options, right here. 

Narcissistic Abuse Syndrome

Narcissistic Abuse Syndrome

If you’ve experienced being in a toxic relationship with a narcissist, you may be dealing with symptoms that don’t make a lot of sense to you as you navigate the muddy waters of narcissistic abuse recovery. This post will fill you in on narcissistic abuse syndrome, an often-unrecognized disorder that affects victims of narcissistic abuse in profound ways. 

While you won’t find the term “narcissistic abuse syndrome” in the DSM, it is one that many advocates believe should be included. 

What is Narcissistic Abuse Syndrome?

Narcissistic abuse syndrome (also known as C-PTSD or narcissistic victim syndrome) is a psychological disorder that can develop in response to the prolonged, repeated experience of interpersonal trauma in a context in which the individual has little or no chance of escape. such as being in a toxic relationship with a narcissist.

This condition manifests during or after a relationship with a narcissist. Unfortunately for surviors of narcissistic abuse, there are many negative side effects we’ve got to deal with as a result of the gaslighting and manipulation that goes along with it – and narcisistic abuse syndrome (C-PTSD) is one of the most common issues for survivors and victims of narcissistic abuse in relationships. Learn more about C-PTSD here. 

How can you tell if you’re the victim of a narcissist?

Understanding these typical “mind games” and manipulations will help you understand if you’re dealing with a toxic narcissist in your relationship.

Narcissistic Abuse Syndrome Video

In this video, I explain what narcissistic abuse syndrome means, fill you in on the signs and symptoms of narcissistic abuse syndrome and also explain how to recover from narcissistic abuse syndrome (sometimes also called post-narcissistic abuse syndrome). In addition to identity erosion and losing the self, understanding what happens after narcissistic abuse and how to perceive it in a whole new way can really be the first step toward healing CPTSD or complex PTSD. If you are a victim of narcissistic abuse syndrome, this comprehensive healing video is for you.

How does narcissistic abuse syndrome affect your brain?

This video can help you understand how Narcissistic Abuse Syndrome/C-PTSD affects your brain.

Narcissistic Abuse Recovery

Narcissistic Abuse Recovery

If you’ve ever been in a toxic relationship with a narcissist, chances are you’ve got some healing to do. Not just “regular” healing, either.

We’re talking about whole life healing – body, mind and soul – because narcissistic abuse will affect every aspect of your being.

When you’re actively dealing with narcissistic abuse, there will be many telltale signs, including but not limited to the following.

You’ll be less physically healthy. You’ll be less mentally, psychologically and spiritually healthy, and you’ll find yourself suffering from low self-esteem, a loss of identity and more. When you’re ready to begin to take back your life, you’ll be ready to begin the journey of narcissistic abuse recovery

What is Narcissistic Abuse Recovery? 

In order to understand what narcissistic abuse recovery is, we must first define both “narcissist” and “narcissistic abuse.”

What is a Narcissist?

A narcissist can be a man or a woman, and they will most definitely have a very a high opinion of him/herself. The toxic narcissist will have a sense of entitlement (most often unearned). The toxic narcisist is a verbally (and sometimes physically) abusive person who may have narcissistic personality disorder.

This type of narcissist will show little to no empathy for the people around them and will act from that perspective. They don’t think about or concern themselves with how others feel, and you can tell because of the way they treat the people around them. They may be overtly narcissistic, or they may be more of a covert narcissist.

Narcissistic Abuse

Narcissistic abuse is verbal, emotional and occasionally physically abuse that can be experienced by anyone in a close relationship with one of these toxic people.

Narcissistic supply may include childen, spouses or partners, parents and other friends, relatives and acquaintences. Those who remain close are often used as a form of narcissistic supply and not treated like an actual person.

Sadly, even the most intelligent and educated people can be manipulated and abused by a narcissist.

DID YOU KNOW?

You’ll need to grieve the loss of a narcissist.

Many people assume that going through a toxic relationship with a narcissistic abuser would require no grieving process – no mourning – no grief at all. People assume that you should be glad it’s over.

However, despite popular assumption, we need to go through the stages of grief in narcissistic abuse recovery – but it’s a lot more complicated than your standard grief process. 

Traits of Narcissistic Personality Disorder

  • A grandiose sense of self-importance
  • A preoccupation with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love
  • A belief that he or she is “special” and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions)
  • A requirement for excessive admiration
  • A sense of entitlement – unreasonable expectations of especially favourable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations
  • Interpersonal exploitativeness – taking advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends
  • A lack of empathy and an unwillingness to recognise or identify with the feelings and needs of others
  • Enviousness of others – along with the belief that others are envious of him or her
  • A tendency to arrogant, haughty behaviours or attitudes

Source: Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders IV

Narcissistic Abuse Recovery: Defined

The process of narcissistic abuse recovery varies for everyone, but with intentional effort and focus on healing, recovery is possible for most survivors of narcissistic abuse.  There are four basic stages of narcissistic abuse recovery

Stages of Narcissistic Abuse Recovery

The Discovery Phase – When you’re first recognizing that you’ve got a problem in a relationship – and maybe for the first time ever, you’re starting to recognize that YOU are not the problem. You might suddenly realize you’re not the crazy one, after all – and if a friend, therapist or family member did not point it out to you, you may have come across a video or article that showed you the light. 

The Understanding Phase – You know or are pretty convinced that you’re in a toxic relationship with a narcissist, whether it’s a romantic one, a family one or a friend or coworker one. You are pretty sure you’ve got to leave, or you’ve already left, but you feel stuck and you can’t seem to break free. You’re reading and watching everything you can about narcissists and narcissistic abuse because not only is it helping you wrap your head around what you’re dealing with, but for once, you’re feeling a sense of validation. 

The Overcoming Phase – You know or are pretty convinced that you’re in a toxic relationship with a narcissist, whether it’s a romantic one, a family one or a friend or coworker one. You are pretty sure you’ve got to leave, or you’ve already left, but some part of you feels stuck and you can’t seem to break free emotonally and psychologically. Still, you’re in the right frame of mind to take your healing to the next level, and with intention, you will get there. 

The Evolving Phase – You’re free of the narcissist and ready to move into creating the life you truly want. You are finding and following your own passions and you’re finally beginning to evolve into the person you’ve always been meant to be. Life is starting to get really, really good. 

What stage of narcissistic abuse recovery are you in? Find out now. 

Could you be codependent in a toxic relationship? Find out now. 

How Can I Get Help With Narcissistic Abuse Recovery?

In some cases, you can find help with traditional therapy, but based on what we’ve learned, that isn’t always the right option since it can be hard to find a therapist who fully understands your situation. However, here at QueenBeeing, we offer several free and low-cost options for narcissistic abuse recovery support, in addition to our one-on-one narcissistic abuse recovery counseling and support. 

The SPANily Official Group

Support for People Affected by Narcissistic Abuse in Toxic Relationships – A free, private Facebook support group that is professionally moderated by an amazing team of admins and the QueenBeeing coaching staff.

Divorce Support

Divorce Support – Offers Support for Divorcing a Narcissist, Before, During and After. There is no greater emotional pain that can be inflicted on someone than divorce, whether you initiate it or your narcissistic partner does. 

SPAN Book Club

SPAN Book Club – Get your intellectual stimulation and share camaraderie over a shared hobby, while alleviating the typical loneliness and isolation suffered by survivors of narcissistic abuse from the comfort of your home.

Boldly Evolving Empaths

Boldly Evolving Empaths (QueenBeeing BEEs) – For those survivors who are ready to thrive and who have passed the discovery and understanding phases and are ready to push forward into the next phase in their lives.

Co-Parenting with a Narcissist

 SPANily Support for Co-Parenting with a Narcissist – If you’re co-parenting with a narcissist, this is the group for you. A parenting-focused narcissistic abuse recovery support group by Angie Atkinson and QueenBeeing.com.

Adult Children of Narcissists

Support for Adult Children of Narcissistic Parents – If one or both of your parents were narcissists, chances are, you’re struggling more than you may realize. Get support from people who have been there.

Small Group Coaching

New Group Coaching Program – Several weekly session times available for small group coaching. All levels of recovery served. Learn more and sign up for sessions here. Program director, Certified Life Coach Lise Colucci.

The SPANily Home

The SPANily Home – QueenBeeing.com’s OFF-FACBOOK private narcissistic abuse recovery and resource center. Closely monitored and managed by our team of certified narcissistic abuse recovery coaches. Pricing starts at $3.99 per month.

Get One-on-One Support in Your Narcissistic Abuse Recovery

Our team of certified life coaches is here to serve you, during and after your narcissistic abuse recovery. Click photos to learn more about each coach and schedule a narcissistic abuse recovery coaching session.

The Parasitic Narcissist

The Parasitic Narcissist

Today we’re talking about the parasitic narcissist. It’s a fact that a parasitic narcissist wants everything you’ve got. The “lazy” narcissist will refuse to get a job and will do everything in their power to get you to pay for everything. They won’t stop until they’ve taken all you’ve got to give, and then some. A parasitic narcissist will suck you dry – financially, emotionally and otherwise.

What is a parasitic narcissist? 

This is the type of person who refuses to get a decent job or to support him/herself and who believes that you (and the world) owe them something. This kind of person tends to have NPD (narcissistic personality disorder) or at least to be considered a toxic narcissist. They have a tendency to be attracted to empaths, and like all narcissists, will be highly prone to gaslighting and manipulation of their closest sources of narcissistic supply.

In this video, I’ll expand on the definition of a parasitic narcissist and explain exactly what you can expect from one. Plus, I’ll offer tips on how you might deal with a parasite narcissist.

You might also be interested in learning about narcissistic financial abuse. Financial Abuse is a sneaky, pervasive tactic used by a narcissist in which they use money to control and or manipulate you. This can be done by restricting you from accessing family money or by forcing you to provide all of the money, and may involve blatant lying about, theft of and/or hiding of family money, among other forms of manipulation and control.

Additional (free) resources on financial abuse

Ignoring the Narcissist

Ignoring the Narcissist

“Until you let go of all the toxic people in your life you will never be able to grow into your fullest potential. Let them go so you can grow.”  ~DLQ

Are you trying to ignore a narcissist in your life? Ignoring the narcissist is nearly always easier said than done. Thanks to their obvious need for attention and admiration, the narcissist is always in attention-seeking mode. And when you’ve been a primary source of narcissistic supply, you are a prime target for attention-seeking behavior (including hoovering, once you’ve left or are planning to leave a narcissist – where the narcissist tries to suck you back into the relationship). In this post, we’re going to cover everything you need to know to successfully ignore a narcissist.

How do you ignore a narcissist?

Ignoring a narcissist might feel counterintuitive, especially if you’ve been connected to them for a long time. That’s understandable. But how do you do it? You can begin with no contact, if that is an option for you. No Contact is practically required to heal after narcissistic abuse. It involves removing yourself from the narcissist’s life completely, and you stop seeing, speaking to and interacting with the narcissist. This allows you to clear your life of the negative energy they bring into every room. We’ll get into more detail about this in a moment.

If you’re forced to deal with the narcissist due to having kids together or being legally required to for some other reason, then you will want to use the gray rock method. The gray rock method is a technique was named and first published by a writer called Skylar, who advises that you act about as interesting as a “grey rock” – as in, you act boring and don’t react to the narcissist’s attempts to engage you in drama. The tactic is highly effective but also infuriating for narcissists. Please note: this technique can be dangerous if you are dealing with any physical abuse as the narcissist may not react well. I don’t advise that you use this if you are in physical danger. In that case, I suggest you look into emergency resources to get you away safely.

“You don’t ever have to feel guilty about removing toxic people from your life. It’s one thing if a person owns up to their behavior and makes an effort to change. But if a person disregards your feelings, ignores your boundaries, and continues to treat you in a harmful way, they need to go.” ~Daniell Koepke

This playlist will help you learn how to stick with your plan to ignore the narcissist so you can avoid getting sucked back into their drama and manipulation.

Why would you want to ignore a narcissist?

Since toxic narcissists tend to be emotionally abusive and controlling, most of the time, the only way you can fully heal from a relationship with one is to go “no contact.” This is more than just ignoring them – it’s completely removing them from your life. While no contact isn’t always possible, due to sharing kids, family responsibilities or business connections, for example, it’s truly the best option for healing. When it’s impossible to fully ignore a narcissist due to circumstances beyond your control, you can opt for “low contact,” which means you only communicate with them about whatever you’re legally required to communicate about. You keep it all business, and you do not involve emotion in your communication.

What do narcissists do when you ignore them?

What are the effects of ignoring a narcissist? What is the typical narcissist’s reaction to being ignored? You can expect a number of different reactions when you ignore a narcissist. For example, you might see narcissistic rage and narcissistic injury. The narcissist will attempt to get your attention by revisiting the love-bombing phase and/or by trying to “hoover you” back into the relationship.

In this video, I explain 11 things you can expect to deal with when you ignore a narcissist. You’ll learn what happens when you ignore a narcissist, a toxic person or anyone with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). Plus, I’ll give you 7 quick ways to deal with the situation so you can stay no contact and stay safe.

Do you need to go no contact in order to ignore a narcissist?

Since no contact is not always an option, you might wonder if it’s necessary to successfully ignore a narcissist. Technically, you do not need to go no contact in order to ignore a narcissist, but it’s always the ideal option. While it’s very uncomfortable and stressful at first, going no contact with a narcissist is probably one of the best things you can do for yourself. Not only will you end the gaslighting and manipulation, but you might actually find yourself some peace and self-love in the process. Whether you’re going no contact by divorce or by some other method, you may need to consider what to expect from the narcissist when you go no contact. In this video, I outline 10 things narcissists do when you go no contact.

“Don’t let negative and toxic people rent space in your head. Raise the rent and kick them out.” – Robert Tew

You might also need to know how to deal with a narcissist when you can’t go no contact.

Even though no contact is really the only way to resolve a toxic relationship, going no contact isn’t always possible in the immediate future. In this video, I go into detail about how to make a narcissist be nice to you as often as possible, and how to talk to a narcissist to make life easier. You will learn exactly what to do to make narcissists treat you better.

Why is it so hard to ignore a narcissist?

If you’ve ever tried to ignore a narcissist, then you know how difficult it can be. It feels impossible to us, especially in the beginning. That’s because we are often trauma bonded with the toxic people in our lives. Trauma bonding is similar to Stockholm Syndrome. It’s is a condition that causes the victims of narcissistic abuse in toxic relationships to develop a psychological dependence on the narcissist as a survival strategy during abuse. Your brain p Also makes recovering from a toxic relationship significantly more difficult. In this video, I go into detail about how trauma bonding affects our brains and how it causes us to feel addicted to the toxic narcissist.

Think you’re trauma bonded? Take this quiz and find out right now. 

Another reason it’s so hard to ignore a narcissist is that once we’ve gone no contact and are no longer putting up with daily abuse, we can develop abuse amnesia. This is a common issue for survivors who manage to finally go no contact or leave the narcissist. It’s sort of the ugly side of the whole “absence makes the heart grow fonder” thing.  You literally sort of “forget” all of the bad stuff – the abuse, the gaslighting, the manipulation – all of it – and you even begin to romanticize the reality of your toxic relationship. Abuse amnesia can be very toxic for you, not to mention dangerous. as it very often leads to reuniting with your abuser. In this video, I explain what abuse amnesia is in more detail, why it happens and one powerful way to overcome it.

How can I get support for ignoring the narcissist?

One of the best ways you can stick to your plan to ignore a narcissist is to get some support. You can get the support you need in a number of ways. Here are a few to consider.

 

Signs of a Toxic Relationship (Everything You Need to Know)

Signs of a Toxic Relationship (Everything You Need to Know)

Letting go of toxic people is an act of self-care. – Karen Salmansohn

Are you in a relationship that involves someone who emotionally, mentally or physically damages you? Do you feel like a shell of your former self since becoming involved with this person? After you spend time with this person, do you feel energized and refreshed, or do you feel drained and exhausted?

While toxic relationships are both damaging and devastating to those who are involved in them, they have a much deeper effect than most people realize. Despite popular opinion, most victims of toxic relationships are far from your standard “victim-type” personality; in fact, most are intelligent, attractive and capable. This is part of what attracts the toxic partner.

The Toxic Relationship Cycle

Toxic relationships start quickly and they are as firey as they are fast. But unlike their healthier counterparts, toxic relationships don’t settle into a comfortable place – rather, the toxic partner gets “bored” and quickly begins to devalue the victim. This will inevitably be followed by a discard phase, which will lead to what we call the hoovering phase – where the toxic person attempts to suck the victim back in.

Could my relationship be toxic? 

Ask yourself the following questions.

  • Are you in a relationship with someone who is making you miserable?
  • Do you ever feel drained when you spend time with that person?
  • Do you often find yourself feeling tired and unmotivated or even sort of paralyzed?
  • Do you find yourself putting that person’s needs before your own?
  • Do you often feel shocked by someone’s disrespectful behavior?
  • Does someone in your life make you feel like you don’t matter or like you’re not as important as they are?
  • Have you ever described the way you feel as emotionally “dead” or numb (or something similar)?
  • Have you ever found yourself questioning your own sanity?
  • Have you started to think you’re just not good enough?

What is a toxic relationship?

A toxic relationship is similar to a dysfunctional relationship but less repairable, often due to at least one partner being unable or unwilling to change and/or take responsibility for their wrongdoings. When you’re in a toxic relationship, you’ll find that it involves more negativity than positivity. Most importantly, a toxic relationship does not emotionally support one or both of the people involved. A toxic relationship will also often involve resentment, contempt, communication problems and varying forms of physical, emotional and psychological abuse.

Being involved with a toxic person (or a narcissist) in a toxic relationship will lead to a serious loss of self and a significantly reduced ability to be happy, healthy and fulfilled in your life. These relationships often feel empty or one-sided and leave one or both partners feeling codependent and miserable.

Can a toxic relationship be fixed?

While dysfunctional relationships can often be repaired, toxic ones are less likely to be worth the trouble of trying. That’s because while it does theoretically seem that narcissists and toxic people are capable of personal growth and change, it is rarely seen. So, while most narcissists COULD change, they most often will not, at least not long-term.

Read This: Can a narcissist change? The experts weigh in

While a few clinicians claim that they can heal narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), their evidence is thin and often refuted. Remember too that the longer you remain in the toxic relationship, the further damaged you will become, mentally, physically and otherwise. And, despite appearances, toxic people generally maintain the same cycle of abuse throughout each relationship in their lives – meaning that your partner will not be happier with someone else. 

What are the signs I’m in a toxic relationship?

Be sure to click the links on the points that resonate with you below – each opens up to a detailed post that outlines the signs of a toxic relationship as they relate to that point.

Helpful Video Playlist: Signs of a Toxic Relationship

What causes toxic relationships?

I know, you’re probably asking yourself, “How did I end up in a toxic relationship?” I get it. It’s almost always a shock when you realize you’re in a toxic relationship, and this may be due to the fact that you’re a strong, intelligent and attractive person who generally reads people like a book. But in many cases, you also had a difficult or traumatic childhood, whether it was a result of abuse, neglect or some other sort of situational trauma.

There are certain features that make you an ideal source of narcissistic supply – learn about those features here.

Helpful Resources for Understanding Why You Got Into a Toxic Relationship

How do I know if my relationship is unhealthy? What do I do if my relationship is toxic?

Take the Toxic Relationship Test below to be directed to helpful resources for your situation. 

 

Pin It on Pinterest